this is going to be a long rant.
i guess i figured out my one and only flaw. dont forget only flaw. teeehee im such a little shit. and im posting this in my journal cos im too cold to talk to people about it face to face cos i just dont have serious heartfelt conversations unless its a select choice of people that i really trust.
um but seriously i hate everybody except for like a handful of people, cos i dont like to trust people. cos its just more convenient for me.
i've already acknowledged the fact that i can be mean, and one of my awesome peepz told me that im mean yesterday and i said haha yeah i know and they thought that was stupid of me to say. but thats just the way i've always been. and most likely the way i will always be. i have a meaner/more aggressive way of going about things than most people. i get irritated easily and have little patience for lack of common sense or courtesy, so i let people know right away. i dont go around LOOKING for trouble, so really the only time you'll see the meaner side of me is when you push my buttons or act stupid.
im only nice to good friends or my family.
which kind of goes to number 2.
number 2 is that i have a huge trust issue, and i cant trust people that much at all.
it takes me a very long time to become friends with somebody, whether they are genuinely a good friend or not, hence the fact i only have a few close friends, and a lot of ex best friends cos either a) i have been fucked over by a lot of friends or b) i fuck over a lot of friends cos if i think i have a reason not to trust them, i will be a bitch to them and be mad at them forever.
not for no reason tho. like if "friend" breaks the "unwritten rule" which is many rules that pertain to common sense like NOT DATING YOUR FRIENDS EX'S or NOT HITTING ON YOUR FRIEND'S BOYFRIEND or something obvious like that. i dont trust anybody that has fucked me over in the past cos once upon a time i was fucked over many times and kept forgiving this person and they did it over and over anyways and helped make me the bitter person i am today. which is why i never forgive people anymore. swallow your pride and admit you're wrong sometimes, people. damn.
thats another thing. i hate being the first one to appologize. unless i know for a fact im wrong. but seriously this has happened more than once. a situation will come up where both parties are wrong. party 1 says damn this sucks i guess i'll just appologize to party 2, and party 2 just says "ok you're forgiven." damn gee thanks for being a fucking douche and putting 100% of the blame on me and sticking your nose in the air.
i guess im not easily the most liked person in NC cos of many rumors started by 1 person. which is why i dont get along with a lot of 1 sided people, the ones that say "oh i've heard about that girl pfffft". crazy rumors and why people believe them i dont know cos they are usually random and hard to believe. but i'll admit i've been victim to believing some stupid shit from this persons mouth too. but this person makes it very believable cos...they're just like that. and every person who's had a problem with me cos of shit they've heard from this person, i'd always say they'd find out the truth in the end and they always have. which is why im not very worried about it.
the people who have actually taken the time to get to know me know that im genuinely very nice and 100% have my friends' backs then they need me and am always there to talk to, as long as you havent done something to make me think you are kinda sketchy. im not that hard to get along with. and i value morals and loyalty.
im an aquired taste :D
ok sorry sean and matt are the only people i go heart to heart with and neither are available to speak to right now so i made myself public. so now you know a little more about me. awesome.
um but seriously i hate everybody except for like a handful of people, cos i dont like to trust people. cos its just more convenient for me.
i've already acknowledged the fact that i can be mean, and one of my awesome peepz told me that im mean yesterday and i said haha yeah i know and they thought that was stupid of me to say. but thats just the way i've always been. and most likely the way i will always be. i have a meaner/more aggressive way of going about things than most people. i get irritated easily and have little patience for lack of common sense or courtesy, so i let people know right away. i dont go around LOOKING for trouble, so really the only time you'll see the meaner side of me is when you push my buttons or act stupid.
im only nice to good friends or my family.
which kind of goes to number 2.
number 2 is that i have a huge trust issue, and i cant trust people that much at all.
it takes me a very long time to become friends with somebody, whether they are genuinely a good friend or not, hence the fact i only have a few close friends, and a lot of ex best friends cos either a) i have been fucked over by a lot of friends or b) i fuck over a lot of friends cos if i think i have a reason not to trust them, i will be a bitch to them and be mad at them forever.
not for no reason tho. like if "friend" breaks the "unwritten rule" which is many rules that pertain to common sense like NOT DATING YOUR FRIENDS EX'S or NOT HITTING ON YOUR FRIEND'S BOYFRIEND or something obvious like that. i dont trust anybody that has fucked me over in the past cos once upon a time i was fucked over many times and kept forgiving this person and they did it over and over anyways and helped make me the bitter person i am today. which is why i never forgive people anymore. swallow your pride and admit you're wrong sometimes, people. damn.
thats another thing. i hate being the first one to appologize. unless i know for a fact im wrong. but seriously this has happened more than once. a situation will come up where both parties are wrong. party 1 says damn this sucks i guess i'll just appologize to party 2, and party 2 just says "ok you're forgiven." damn gee thanks for being a fucking douche and putting 100% of the blame on me and sticking your nose in the air.
i guess im not easily the most liked person in NC cos of many rumors started by 1 person. which is why i dont get along with a lot of 1 sided people, the ones that say "oh i've heard about that girl pfffft". crazy rumors and why people believe them i dont know cos they are usually random and hard to believe. but i'll admit i've been victim to believing some stupid shit from this persons mouth too. but this person makes it very believable cos...they're just like that. and every person who's had a problem with me cos of shit they've heard from this person, i'd always say they'd find out the truth in the end and they always have. which is why im not very worried about it.
the people who have actually taken the time to get to know me know that im genuinely very nice and 100% have my friends' backs then they need me and am always there to talk to, as long as you havent done something to make me think you are kinda sketchy. im not that hard to get along with. and i value morals and loyalty.
im an aquired taste :D
ok sorry sean and matt are the only people i go heart to heart with and neither are available to speak to right now so i made myself public. so now you know a little more about me. awesome.