i would fall asleep so fucking tired. i would let my limbs crush into the quilted bedsheets and my eyelids droop to oblivion and then when i'm finally not where i am. i was in some other place. one that looked exactly the same, no not looked, felt exactly the same. like how you don't actually see in dreams, you just know what they are? yes. there ( Read more... )

over time shaz developed a great affection for sea that she was unable to feel for sand. this was perhaps due to their striking similarity. shaz was a fickle sensualist, as was sea and they could enjoy few caresses apart from each others'. shaz would spend many long hours cradling sea's body in the crook of her arm and tickling her chin with her ( Read more... )

i wonder what constitutes a good night. my pleasures seem so small and futile. i went out with naz, rahul, abby and wee kwang for a little while. we ate a bit but mostly sat around and smoked. i mean, me and naz smoked. me and abby drank. i don't know how these vices keep me content. perhaps i enjoy destroying myself. what am i talking about, i do ( Read more... )

i just sang i never asked to be yr mountain many times in the loudest voice i could muster.

i feel so much purer now.

i'm sailing all my sins and i'm climbing all my fears
and soon now i'll fly.....

i saw a blackbird fly past me as i walked home today and thought that it was beautiful. but i'm so tired and sore that i have run to the mirror and ring my eyes with eyeliner just because i feel like i should fit the mould of tired sore girl in eyeliner for a while. i feel like that girl. apathetic, full of shit and rather harmless.

how strange and exhausting school was today! a drunken day, filled with davids and dice. what actually transpired is too absurd to relate but it involved a retarded game for secondary school children and lots of giggling. calling up people to verify their rockstar identities and me crawling under tables and meowing at the teacher. oh please do not ( Read more... )

oh and i'm going to the mtv asia awards.
whoop dee fucking doo. i'll probably mock everyone that comes on.

people use the word 'love' far too lightly. i guard it too jealously.

don't if you don't mean it. it is sacred. you'll regret it.

but then again, who am i to be the guardian of words? or even worse, love?

komakino's first jamming session recalled the words of the late ian curtis. only we weren't modern and we certainly were not men (both are sort of debatable though). catch it if you can. i played awfully. really awfully. i'm starting to doubt whether i even deserve to hold a guitar in my hands. yes yes. but no. this was only the first session. we' ( Read more... )

i spent a large part of today listening to big red moment's dermatose. it's an amazingly beautiful song. it made me so fucking happy i decided to cry. but later, when i was not so happy. then again one more time when i was happy again and what made me cry was not the song. the only way to describe it, the song i mean, is by one big heaving sigh. ( Read more... )