So, because I wanted to avoid doing any homework (...I'm such a bad student), I wanted to see what would happen if I tried to translate the D.N.Angel TV Animation Series novels. A cursory glance had me realizing that the books were not split into chapters, but instead into sections split off by just whitespace. Which confused me at first, but I
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Back on topic though, I think your translation sounds okay. I have to say, reading it has a more dramatic feel than I remember getting from the beginning of the anime.
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Also, yeah, WAY more dramatic. I wish I had more time to do more...
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