The moon has granted me a safe passage along life again. all the prayers to Frejya helped I think. I am at home trying to rest and not really doing a good job at it. I find myself up and about trying to take care of the few mundane daiy rituals that I have to get done. Today I am missing someone alot. I feel almost lost and like I am counting down ( Read more... )

Okay here's the deal. My heart surgery is not covered by insurance not that I have any but still...and I have no way of coming up with that kind of cash that soon. I have opted for a slightly experimental procedure. It will take place soon and it isn't the safest thing in the world. This is a last minute now or never thing for me my heart murmur ( Read more... )

it,s funny how alot can change in a weekend..i discovered where my heart is...i felt alive again...i feel love again...my heart was stolen by a pirate and he knows it. i told him i loved him on the back of the peter o tavern. i couldn't wait to get home and call him...i can hear his voice in my ear whispering the words i love you back to me. today ( Read more... )

A fewminutes ago my baby girl alexis got on the school bus for her first day of kidnergarten. I did good until the bus door shut and I burst in to tears and cried my eyes out. now here I am writing on the computer and drinking champagne. Where did the time go. It seems like only yesterday I brought her home from the hospital all 6 pounds of her and ( Read more... )

I have been spending the dya trying to make myself cry....I can't seem to anymore. I am trying to figure out exactly when it was that I decided to shut off my emotions and start sucking it up and dealing with the pain. Today is different though today I am trying to find that button that starts the release of all the built up anger and saddness that ( Read more... )

Life fuckin blows right now...this is not what I signed up for...I can't sleep and I can't eat....not that I can afford to feed me and lexi...she needs food more than I do. I can't do this anymore I am starting to get depressed. Last night I almost broke down and cried and I figured hey it's another week. Things will get better. Well I came home to ( Read more... )

Well the coutdown begins to the time of the wedding. I went out with the bride and groom last night and my poor brother...I guess he really is only my half brother. I gave the poor boy a shot of captains and he couldn't even drink it like a champ. I guess I got the lush genes out of the pool. Anyways the whole event is enough to give me a friggin ( Read more... )

Today seems to be better than most since I brought home my new puppy Frejya and I seem to be in okay spirits. Norm goes to talk to Kent today about me squiring. I called Norm as soon as I got home and he asked me why I wanted it so bad that way he had an arguement from me as to why I needed to be his bitch. In the only way I could think of I said" ( Read more... )

I am done. I am sitting here on the verge of tears. I am tired of fighting to keep afloat. I am tired of trying to call Joe and get him to be a man and tell me what his fuckin problem is. I am tired of doing so much for everyone else and getting shit in return. I am tired of needing help asking for help and getting nothing. I am tired of knowing ( Read more... )

Wow let me tell you if I ever get married it is going to be at the first drive thru chapel of elvis in vegas. I am not getting married this weekend mt brother is and let me tell you I am more stressed out about it than they are all they have to do is show up. The rest of us however are the ones dealing with all the coordination and event planning. ( Read more... )