[One-Shot] One Two Three Four Five
Title: One Two Three Four Five
Members: Arashi
Genre: Crack
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own Arashi.
Summary: Unique babies.
A/N: Based on 'My Girl' PV.
Their first child was named Ichiro.
Papa and Mama were worried sick when their first child didn’t wail as loudly as normal babies would no matter how many times the doctor hit Ichiro’s ass. Tears only trickled across his chubby cheeks.
The doctor did many tests repeatedly but found nothing wrong with the baby. He assures Papa and Mama that nothing is wrong with their child.
Their baby was very quiet and only cried silently if he needed milk or the toilet. He was probably the easiest baby to take care of.
When Ichiro reached six months, Papa introduced him to the world of colors through crayons. Papa was delighted at how fascinated Ichiro had looked.
The next day, the walls were completely filled with scribbles and not a single corner was spared. With colors all over his face, Ichiro let out a chuckle and drew a blue line across Papa’s dumbfounded face.
Papa and Mama were starting to get worried over Ichiro again when Ichiro hadn’t spoken a word while toddlers around his age were able to say ‘Mama’. Ichiro had only let out some incomprehensible sounds. They tried teaching Ichiro every day but Ichiro doesn’t seem to be putting any effort himself.
Then one day when Mama came home boasting to Papa about the cheap prices she managed to get at the market, Ichiro’s little fingers had pointed to the creature in Mama’s hand.
“Fish.”
Mama dropped everything in her hand including the huge sea-bass. “He.. talked!”
Ichiro’s eyes met the dead ones of the sea-bass and he crawled towards the creature.
He stared at it for a moment and started giggling.
“Papa… he talked!”
Papa wraps his arms around her shoulders and says, “I know, but..” he took a look at Ichiro giggling at the dead creature. “Why fish?”
*
Ichiro tugged at Papa’s shirt when he saw Mama’s tummy at seven months.
“Umai?” he asked with a small finger pointed at Mama’s tummy.
Papa lightly hit Ichiro’s head.
Unlike Ichiro, Jiro cried like a normal baby after Mama gave birth.
“Sensei, is it a boy or a girl?” Mama asked, exhausted.
“It’s a gi-, a boy.” The doctor cleared his throat. “It’s a boy.”
“Why did you almost say he’s a girl?” asked Papa.
“You see…” the doctor started. “I’ve been working in this line for so long that it can get a little boring. So, I started to try determining a newborn baby’s gender without looking at the bottom-half..”
What a weird doctor, Papa thought. “Is there something about my son’s top-half that almost had you mistaken?”
“He has these really sloping shoulders…”
When Jiro first reached home, he was wailing and crying and Mama had no idea why. It wasn’t milk or the toilet. She tried rocking Jiro to sleep but he just wouldn’t stop crying.
Ichiro, who was in his room silently watching Papa clean the walls for the umpteenth time heard his new brother crying and crawled to Mama and Jiro.
Mama spotted Ichiro and said, “Ichiro, this is Jiro. Say hi.”
Ichiro stared at Jiro who was still crying and toddled away. Mama sighed.
Two minutes later, Jiro was still crying and both Papa and Mama were at a loss.
Ichiro then toddled into the scene with an object in his hands.
“Ichiro, put that back to where it belongs,” Papa ordered.
Ichiro ignored him and placed it in front of Jiro’s eyes.
Jiro stopped crying.
Ichiro smiled and rotated the mini-globe revealing continents and countries to Jiro.
Jiro seemed to have fallen in love with globes.
*
When Ichiro was three and Jiro had turned one, Mama got pregnant once more.
Close to nine months, Jiro pointed at Mama’s round tummy. “Globe.”
Mama chuckled at her son and pats his head. “Not everything round are globes.” She took Jiro’s hand and placed it on her tummy. “It’s your new brother.”
When Mama’s water bag broke, Ichiro and Jiro were told to stay home.
As soon as the baby was out, the doctor hit Saburo’s tiny ass. No tears fell.
“Is that…” Papa’s eyes widened. “Our baby is laughing?!”
The doctor could only return a puzzled look then added, “He’s a healthy boy.”
“Sa-bu-ro,” Jiro tried how it would wound on his tongue.
Ichiro and Jiro reached out to touch either side of their brother’s cheek.
Saburo laughed.
Ichiro and Jiro backed away but Saburo continued to laugh. Ichiro eyes met Jiro’s and in less than three second, they were all laughing for no apparent reason.
Papa and Mama were silently watching their three children.
“A newborn baby shouldn’t be able to laugh!” Papa whispered.
Mama sighed. “Have any of our children been normal?”
Papa and Mama were so relieved when Saburo started crying after a month. Though, that child continued to laugh whenever he sees Ichiro or Jiro.
When Saburo was eight-months-old, a new zoo opened near their home and Papa decided to bring his three sons for a trip there.
“Very danger!” Saburo exclaimed. In English.
Those were his first words. Not ‘Papa’ or ‘Mama’. Papa thinks he doesn’t want to try understanding his sons anymore.
A week later, Papa buys them a dog. Saburo jumped up and down when he saw the creature and named it ‘Cuticle’ immediately.
(“Ichiro! Saburo! Put on your pants! Just because Cuticle isn’t wearing any clothes, it doesn’t mean you can run around naked!”)
Cuticle soon became an irreplaceable member of the family.
*
Saburo’s excitement when he came to know of Shiro’s existence was far higher than any two-year-old out there.
He was jumping as high as his little legs would let him when Mama comes back from the hospital with Shiro in her arms.
“Shiro! Shiro-chan!”
Shiro’s arms accidentally fell they hung loosely from his sides. Saburo who was still jumping got his head hit by Shiro’s little hand.
“Ow!” Saburo cried.
Ichiro, who was watching Saburo said, “Mama, Shiro hit Saburo’s head.”
“Nonsense,” Mama answered. “Shiro’s just came into this world. There’s no way he
would know how to hit your brother.”
“But-“
“Put your pants on!”
The year Shiro was born; Papa bought Nintendo for his sons to play with. Saburo tends to sit beside Shiro when he plays with his and Shiro would stare at the screen with a glint in his eyes.
The first sounds Shiro made were of slashing swords, gunshots and punching sound effects.
When Shiro was able to crawl, he somehow always miraculously appears beside Papa and Papa’s counting money. And when one or two notes went missing, Papa would pray that Shiro hasn’t peed in his diapers.
If ever they weren’t in Shiro’s diapers, Papa would know to look inside Ichiro’s pants.
*
The following year, Goro was born in the month of August.
Papa left his kids with Uncle Nagase when he had to rush Mama to the hospital. (“Nii-san.” “DON’T CALL ME NII-SAN.”)
Mama had stayed with Goro for three days in the hospital and Papa brought his four sons home after a night at Uncle Nagase’s house.
Jiro was drawing in the living room and for once not holding a globe when Papa and Mama arrived. (“Jiro-nii, is that a snowman? Why does it have hair on it?” “It’s Totoro!”
When the four brothers beckoned Mama to let them take a look at Goro, the baby started crying when he was out of Mama’s reach. Mama immediately brought Goro back in her arms.
“Mama, he’s holding onto something,” Jiro pointed out.
“Your ring,” Shiro added.
Ichiro and Jiro each took turns taking care of Goro while Saburo and Shiro just followed them around the house as they were still young.
Jiro did most of the work like feeding Goro milk or changing his diapers. Papa was so proud of Jiro.
Ichiro, apparently realized Goro’s interest in rings and all he did was giving Goro one of Papa’s rings whenever Goro cried.
That plan had never failed.
Maybe because they had only brothers, Ichiro, Jiro, Saburo and Shiro would sometimes dress Goro up as a girl. When Goro ended up wailing and bawling, they would flee and leave Goro alone in a dress.
Every night at dinner, Papa had to remind them that Goro was a boy.
Goro, as he grew up, learnt how to remove the dresses and would rummage through his brothers’ closets and then crawl to Mama with their best clothes gesturing her to help him put it on. It’s a wonder to Mama how Goro even knows that those were his brothers’ best outfits.
*
“Kids, what are you doing?”
“Saburo-nii said he thought up of a game with balloons.”
“It’s called the breast explosion game! It’s really easy! You put two balloons into your shirt and you pop them without using your hands!” Saburo happily stated.
Papa sighed and decided it was better to leave his sons alone lest the walls get drawn, his new globe breaks, the kitchen gets destroyed, and his money and rings disappear.
Pop.
Members: Arashi
Genre: Crack
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own Arashi.
Summary: Unique babies.
A/N: Based on 'My Girl' PV.
Their first child was named Ichiro.
Papa and Mama were worried sick when their first child didn’t wail as loudly as normal babies would no matter how many times the doctor hit Ichiro’s ass. Tears only trickled across his chubby cheeks.
The doctor did many tests repeatedly but found nothing wrong with the baby. He assures Papa and Mama that nothing is wrong with their child.
Their baby was very quiet and only cried silently if he needed milk or the toilet. He was probably the easiest baby to take care of.
When Ichiro reached six months, Papa introduced him to the world of colors through crayons. Papa was delighted at how fascinated Ichiro had looked.
The next day, the walls were completely filled with scribbles and not a single corner was spared. With colors all over his face, Ichiro let out a chuckle and drew a blue line across Papa’s dumbfounded face.
Papa and Mama were starting to get worried over Ichiro again when Ichiro hadn’t spoken a word while toddlers around his age were able to say ‘Mama’. Ichiro had only let out some incomprehensible sounds. They tried teaching Ichiro every day but Ichiro doesn’t seem to be putting any effort himself.
Then one day when Mama came home boasting to Papa about the cheap prices she managed to get at the market, Ichiro’s little fingers had pointed to the creature in Mama’s hand.
“Fish.”
Mama dropped everything in her hand including the huge sea-bass. “He.. talked!”
Ichiro’s eyes met the dead ones of the sea-bass and he crawled towards the creature.
He stared at it for a moment and started giggling.
“Papa… he talked!”
Papa wraps his arms around her shoulders and says, “I know, but..” he took a look at Ichiro giggling at the dead creature. “Why fish?”
*
Ichiro tugged at Papa’s shirt when he saw Mama’s tummy at seven months.
“Umai?” he asked with a small finger pointed at Mama’s tummy.
Papa lightly hit Ichiro’s head.
Unlike Ichiro, Jiro cried like a normal baby after Mama gave birth.
“Sensei, is it a boy or a girl?” Mama asked, exhausted.
“It’s a gi-, a boy.” The doctor cleared his throat. “It’s a boy.”
“Why did you almost say he’s a girl?” asked Papa.
“You see…” the doctor started. “I’ve been working in this line for so long that it can get a little boring. So, I started to try determining a newborn baby’s gender without looking at the bottom-half..”
What a weird doctor, Papa thought. “Is there something about my son’s top-half that almost had you mistaken?”
“He has these really sloping shoulders…”
When Jiro first reached home, he was wailing and crying and Mama had no idea why. It wasn’t milk or the toilet. She tried rocking Jiro to sleep but he just wouldn’t stop crying.
Ichiro, who was in his room silently watching Papa clean the walls for the umpteenth time heard his new brother crying and crawled to Mama and Jiro.
Mama spotted Ichiro and said, “Ichiro, this is Jiro. Say hi.”
Ichiro stared at Jiro who was still crying and toddled away. Mama sighed.
Two minutes later, Jiro was still crying and both Papa and Mama were at a loss.
Ichiro then toddled into the scene with an object in his hands.
“Ichiro, put that back to where it belongs,” Papa ordered.
Ichiro ignored him and placed it in front of Jiro’s eyes.
Jiro stopped crying.
Ichiro smiled and rotated the mini-globe revealing continents and countries to Jiro.
Jiro seemed to have fallen in love with globes.
*
When Ichiro was three and Jiro had turned one, Mama got pregnant once more.
Close to nine months, Jiro pointed at Mama’s round tummy. “Globe.”
Mama chuckled at her son and pats his head. “Not everything round are globes.” She took Jiro’s hand and placed it on her tummy. “It’s your new brother.”
When Mama’s water bag broke, Ichiro and Jiro were told to stay home.
As soon as the baby was out, the doctor hit Saburo’s tiny ass. No tears fell.
“Is that…” Papa’s eyes widened. “Our baby is laughing?!”
The doctor could only return a puzzled look then added, “He’s a healthy boy.”
“Sa-bu-ro,” Jiro tried how it would wound on his tongue.
Ichiro and Jiro reached out to touch either side of their brother’s cheek.
Saburo laughed.
Ichiro and Jiro backed away but Saburo continued to laugh. Ichiro eyes met Jiro’s and in less than three second, they were all laughing for no apparent reason.
Papa and Mama were silently watching their three children.
“A newborn baby shouldn’t be able to laugh!” Papa whispered.
Mama sighed. “Have any of our children been normal?”
Papa and Mama were so relieved when Saburo started crying after a month. Though, that child continued to laugh whenever he sees Ichiro or Jiro.
When Saburo was eight-months-old, a new zoo opened near their home and Papa decided to bring his three sons for a trip there.
“Very danger!” Saburo exclaimed. In English.
Those were his first words. Not ‘Papa’ or ‘Mama’. Papa thinks he doesn’t want to try understanding his sons anymore.
A week later, Papa buys them a dog. Saburo jumped up and down when he saw the creature and named it ‘Cuticle’ immediately.
(“Ichiro! Saburo! Put on your pants! Just because Cuticle isn’t wearing any clothes, it doesn’t mean you can run around naked!”)
Cuticle soon became an irreplaceable member of the family.
*
Saburo’s excitement when he came to know of Shiro’s existence was far higher than any two-year-old out there.
He was jumping as high as his little legs would let him when Mama comes back from the hospital with Shiro in her arms.
“Shiro! Shiro-chan!”
Shiro’s arms accidentally fell they hung loosely from his sides. Saburo who was still jumping got his head hit by Shiro’s little hand.
“Ow!” Saburo cried.
Ichiro, who was watching Saburo said, “Mama, Shiro hit Saburo’s head.”
“Nonsense,” Mama answered. “Shiro’s just came into this world. There’s no way he
would know how to hit your brother.”
“But-“
“Put your pants on!”
The year Shiro was born; Papa bought Nintendo for his sons to play with. Saburo tends to sit beside Shiro when he plays with his and Shiro would stare at the screen with a glint in his eyes.
The first sounds Shiro made were of slashing swords, gunshots and punching sound effects.
When Shiro was able to crawl, he somehow always miraculously appears beside Papa and Papa’s counting money. And when one or two notes went missing, Papa would pray that Shiro hasn’t peed in his diapers.
If ever they weren’t in Shiro’s diapers, Papa would know to look inside Ichiro’s pants.
*
The following year, Goro was born in the month of August.
Papa left his kids with Uncle Nagase when he had to rush Mama to the hospital. (“Nii-san.” “DON’T CALL ME NII-SAN.”)
Mama had stayed with Goro for three days in the hospital and Papa brought his four sons home after a night at Uncle Nagase’s house.
Jiro was drawing in the living room and for once not holding a globe when Papa and Mama arrived. (“Jiro-nii, is that a snowman? Why does it have hair on it?” “It’s Totoro!”
When the four brothers beckoned Mama to let them take a look at Goro, the baby started crying when he was out of Mama’s reach. Mama immediately brought Goro back in her arms.
“Mama, he’s holding onto something,” Jiro pointed out.
“Your ring,” Shiro added.
Ichiro and Jiro each took turns taking care of Goro while Saburo and Shiro just followed them around the house as they were still young.
Jiro did most of the work like feeding Goro milk or changing his diapers. Papa was so proud of Jiro.
Ichiro, apparently realized Goro’s interest in rings and all he did was giving Goro one of Papa’s rings whenever Goro cried.
That plan had never failed.
Maybe because they had only brothers, Ichiro, Jiro, Saburo and Shiro would sometimes dress Goro up as a girl. When Goro ended up wailing and bawling, they would flee and leave Goro alone in a dress.
Every night at dinner, Papa had to remind them that Goro was a boy.
Goro, as he grew up, learnt how to remove the dresses and would rummage through his brothers’ closets and then crawl to Mama with their best clothes gesturing her to help him put it on. It’s a wonder to Mama how Goro even knows that those were his brothers’ best outfits.
*
“Kids, what are you doing?”
“Saburo-nii said he thought up of a game with balloons.”
“It’s called the breast explosion game! It’s really easy! You put two balloons into your shirt and you pop them without using your hands!” Saburo happily stated.
Papa sighed and decided it was better to leave his sons alone lest the walls get drawn, his new globe breaks, the kitchen gets destroyed, and his money and rings disappear.
Pop.