fic for bubbly (2/2)
For: bubbly
From: jadeswallow
Part 1
15.
Jun stands up and approaches him. “I thought I would find you if I came here.”
“Are you busy now?” Jun squats down and starts picking up his books, handing them to Nino with a solemn expression on his face. Their hands accidentally brush when Nino receives his books, and he quickly retreats it. He suddenly feels the urge to run, but he can’t, and he won’t. “Depends.”
Jun puts his hand in his pocket and the two stay like that, standing in the middle of the street, both unable to start a conversation.
“I need to tell you something,” Jun is the first to break the silence. “It’s kind of important.”
Running his fingers through his hair, Jun stares at Nino, who finds his heart beating faster, remembering those eyes, remembering what those pair of eyes once meant to him. A long time ago. Or perhaps not that long enough.
He throws away his gaze and looks at his feet, mumbling his agreement, only to raise his eyes and see Jun’s face expressing relief. He nods his head towards a café at their right, and starts walking to find a seat outdoors, knowing Jun will follow closely behind.
Jun can almost see Nino’s impatience, the way he fidgets on his seat and is almost ready to blurt out the question. But Jun is faster, raising his hand to call the waiter and smiling, “Wait ‘til we order first.” Before Nino can say anything else, Jun adds, “My treat.”
The waiter comes, and Jun orders them two cups of black coffee. They sit in silence. Jun taps his fingers on the table. Nino pretends to admire the vase of flowers in front of him, while a hundred things to say are held on his tongue. Nino doesn’t like to say useless, irrelevant things, because he knows that what happened in the past can never be undone. However, his heart has different thoughts. It aches, still, painfully throbbing at the sight of him, not even a meter away, looking so handsome in his suit and black coat. Nino knows that Jun also feels the same way, because he knows him so well. Or he used to.
The coffee comes, and Nino takes a sip, eyeing Jun curiously. This is not a competition, but Nino is far too stubborn to speak first. Jun coughs and immediately put his cup down. “Let’s gets straight to the point then, shall we?”
Nino nods, “It’s better that way.”
“Well,” Jun begins, “I saw your father.”
Nino squints his eyes. Of all the things he thought Jun would want to talk about, he never thought it would be this one. He tries to calm down, taking another sip.
“In a neighboring city,” Jun continues, “he’s having a recital.”
Nino’s eyes follow a sparrow that flies nearby, trying to focus his mind on the sparrow’s movements.
Jun sips, allowing him a few moments to think.
Nino sighs, closing his eyes.
“He wants to see you.”
He snaps his eyes open.
Jun then slowly explains how he accidentally met his father at the university, how surprises his father was to know that Nino is studying music too, and how he plans to offer Nino a chance to study at a better university.
Nino laughs, a laugh that sounds bitter even in his own ear. “With his money?”
Jun nods, “He doesn’t know that we’re…” He straightens up his body before finding his voice again, “not together anymore. He wants me to pass the message to you.”
Nino swallows, starting to pack up his books, feeling ridiculous that he has just wasted his time for such a ridiculous conversation. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, Jun.” He stops for a while before continuing, searching for the correct thing to say, “More than anyone else, you should know….”
“It happened years ago, Kazu.” Jun holds his hand, stopping him. “Don’t you think he deserves a second chance? Don’t you think you, your talent, deserve this chance?”
Nino just stays silent and Jun carefully pulls back his hand. “Think about it. There are many things you can learn there and not here. Things have changed now.”
Nino means to say something, but decides against it. He merely clutches his books tighter to his chest. The sparrow has flown away; they always leave, in the end.
Jun sighs and searches for a pen and a paper in his bag; he writes an address before stuffing it in Nino’s fist. “If you change your mind, search for me here.”
Nino reads at the address and frowns; he knows this place. He looks at Jun in awe, “What’s your relation with Ohno the painter?”
It’s Jun’s turn to look at him in surprise. “You know him?”
“I deliver letters to him almost every day for my part-time job,” he quickly explains upon seeing Jun’s confused face.
“Well,” Jun stares at his feet, “we’re together now.”
Nino just stands there, stunned, his body stiffening. There is a silence as he tries to grasp the situation.
“Well,” he replies dryly, “things surely have changed.”
16.
Nino takes a peek from outside Ohno’s window the next day, searching for any hint of Jun. He doesn’t quite understand why he’s here today, on a rare day where there’s no letter to deliver to Ohno.
“He’s not here.”
Nino jumps when he hears Ohno’s voice. Ohno is sitting behind his easel, as usual, smiling. He waves him to come closer and pats the chair next to him. Nino steps inside and sits down. His hands start playing with Ohno’s brushes, as they always do, because Ohno has many brushes, and he never seems to actually mind that Nino messes them all up. He takes off his wings. Ohno hums and keeps drawing and for a while, Nino just stays there, enjoying his company.
“Have you heard…” Nino starts, but unable to find the words to finish -- not that it matters, because he knows that Ohno knows.
“Um,” Ohno answers as he continues his work, “the world is a surprisingly small place, isn’t it?”
Nino cups his hands around his face and nods, agreeing.
“So,” Ohno continues, washing his brush in a large bowl and stepping back a little to take better view of his drawing, “an offer to study in a better place, eh?”
Nino glances at him. “Has he also told you about…”
“About your father?” Ohno interrupts. “Yes.”
Nino dyes his brush red and sweeps it on Ohno’s canvas, unconsciously drawing an alien that looks like a grasshopper. “Then you know that I won’t take the chance.”
Ohno tilts his head. “Why not?”
“Because.”
“Because?”
“Because.”
Ohno draws orange grass and trees around the grasshopper. “Is it that hard…to forgive him?”
Nino stands up. The air feels suffocating, somehow. He approaches the window and takes a deep breath. “He left.”
Ohno blinks. “So did Jun.”
“We’re better apart,” he answered at once.
Ohno looks at him carefully in the eye. “What‘s the difference? How do you know your parents are not better apart?”
Avoiding his gaze, Nino merely keeps himself busy by looking through Ohno’s paintings one by one, pretending to be fascinated when he has already browsed through them a couple of times.
“Jun told me this is not the first time he had tried,” Ohno soothingly says.
Nino let his hand linger on a painting. “Perhaps,” he mumbles.
Ohno starts to ask something else when they hear noises down below.
Nino jumps. “Is it Jun?”
Ohno turns his head. “I think it is.”
Nino grabs his wings and puts them on record time,. “I better get going.” He climbs the window and prepares to take off when Ohno calls his name.
Nino turns.
Ohno touches his hand, slightly, “You should ask him.”
Nino blinks.
“The one you love now.”
Nino swallows. He hears the sound of a key being put into the hole and knows that Jun will be inside any second. He doesn’t want to see him, not now at least. He nods at Ohno and takes off, exhales the air and surrenders himself to the sky and the wind that surround him, silently wishing that they could take all of his confusion away as well.
17.
He is a child again, sitting on his bed, and his father kneels in front of him, taking his hand, telling him that he needs to go. He looks at his father’s blurry face and tries to touch it, but suddenly the room is spinning, and he changes into a teenager, sitting in his old classroom.
Jun is there, looking at him, saying, I will be moving out to the city. Nino wants to say Don’t go, but instead he just stares at his feet, When? Jun approaches him, We can’t be like this forever, Nino. It’s not fair for both of us.
He looks up, and his father is there too, standing behind Jun, waving at him, mouthing goodbye and leaving without looking back. Nino wants to chase after him, but he can’t move his feet, and as he looks below in horror, he notices that he is trapped in iron chains.
Nino watches as the chains move in a snake-like fashion, twisting him, spreading and growing like a giant beanstalk, and squeezing his body. Suddenly the floor opens, showing a pit of fire below, and he chokes, trying to get away but failing as the chains slowly pull him down.
He looks at his father. He can just barely see his back now, and he spreads his hands, trying to reach him when Jun touches his shoulders. Nino turns around. Jun looks at him with lingering grief in his eyes and says, We’re together but yet we’re not together, and Nino wants to tell him he doesn’t mean it that way. They are not supposed to end like that.
He tries to speak, but the chains move and clamp his mouth, and Nino struggles. He has to tell him; he has to tell Jun that he doesn’t want him to leave, that things will be different, and he forces himself to remove the chains with his last strength, screaming.
He wakes up from his sleep, sweating and breathing hard as though he had been running. He sits up, and hears Aiba’s footsteps hurriedly coming towards him. Nino puts his face in his hands, panting; he feels his bed shift as Aiba sits beside him, stroking his hair, asking him about what just happened.
Nino swallows, the air suffocating him, and he inhales deeply, his hand clutching his shirt. There is not enough room to breathe. He stands up and opens the window, while Aiba just sits there, waiting. He exhales and closes his eyes, answering, “Nothing. Just a nightmare that’s all.” His voice is trembling more than he thought it would, but Aiba says nothing. He simply pats his back and hurries to the kitchen to grab him a glass of water.
18.
Nino skips class the very next day. He goes to the post office and forces them to give him a route, and so they do, although Nino can feel them eyeing him suspiciously. He knows he looks paler than usual and that he is insane to ask for a route in this kind of weather, but he couldn’t get back to sleep after the nightmare, spending the night listening Jun’s voices echoing in his ears instead.
What does together but yet not together mean anyway? Silly Jun the worrywart.
Nino doesn’t care what other people think; they’re all unimportant. He hurriedly puts on his uniform and grabs his bag of letters, desperately feeling the need to see Sho. He wants to see Sho smiling at him, mess up his hair, and offer him a fried egg he just made. He wants to tease Sho’s lack of creativity and hold on to his slopping shoulders as they kiss.
He doesn’t want to think of Jun; Jun is not important anymore. After all Jun was the one who chose to leave him, wasn’t he? He bangs his head on the wall, trying to drive his migraine away. He doesn’t understand, doesn’t want to think about the unexplainable pain in his chest every time he remembers Jun. Nino doesn’t love Jun anymore; Jun is his past.
Nino shakes his head and shoves those thoughts away, trying to convince himself that it’s not something important. He wears his hat and wings, cursing out loud as one of the broken feathers pricks his finger. He sucks the blood, I will take care of it in Sho’s tower, and takes off, ready to challenge the heavy rain outside.
19.
He lands on Sho’s wooden floor a half an hour later, soaked from head to toe, shuddering.
The goggles obscure his view in the calm indoors, so he takes them off and turns his head, searching for the man he misses. The room is beyond dark; all the lights on the top floor are turned off. Strange, Nino thinks, Sho usually studies here at this hour.
Nino looks around and notices a small hint of light coming from the floor below. He creeps his way to the stairs’ railing, carefully taking a peek and sees Sho sitting on a couch. Beside him, sit a beautiful woman near their age, and Nino’s eyes spread wide in jealously as he sees the girl holding Sho’s hand within her own. Nino quickly kneels, lowering himself to the ground to eavesdrop on their conversation.
The girl squeezes Sho’s hand, saying that she misses him.
Sho smiles, “How have you been doing? And your family?”
The girl lets go and reaches for a cup of tea served in front of her. “They’re fine. They are worried about you, your family too.”
Sho leans his back on the couch and chuckles, “There’s nothing to worry about me.”
The girl leans her head on Sho’s chest. “Well, I am worried about you too.” She turns around and kisses Sho’s cheek, “Can’t I be worried, especially since we are going to be married soon?”
Nino covers his mouth to mute the sound of his gasp. He steps back from the railing; the pain in his head is suddenly getting worse. His heart is pounding hard, but the most unbearable of all is that he could almost hear the sound of his hope fall, breaking into pieces.
The girl and Sho are still talking, and he stays there for a while, but his ears can’t hear anything. He puts on his goggles. It’s almost amusing how words are always the thing that hurt him the most.
Nevertheless, crying is not his thing. Nino has learnt to shut his despair away. Not even a single tear has he shed since his father left; not even when Jun left. His misery is locked away in a hidden place in his heart; he has learned that crying won’t change anything.
He stands up and rubs his wet face, and then silently walks to the blackboard. Stopping in front of it, he smiles. The drawings are still there, almost wiped away by time, but they are still there, the OTTERs and PANDAs and GRASSHOPPERs. Nino takes the eraser out, his fingers carefully touching the pictures for the last time, trying to burn them into his memory. He closes his eyes and nods, satisfied, before rubbing them all off to replace them with a new message,
I’m not the right person to teach you how to draw.
20.
It is already dark when Nino reaches home. Aiba quickly approaches him, chatters in surprise to see his condition, and asks him about what has happened: why he is soaking wet from head to toe, why he went to deliver the letter that day, whether his bosses forced him to do it, how they were not supposed to do that, not in a heavy rain like this, and how he will sue them tomorrow for the mistreatment.
Nino raises his hand to cover Aiba’s mouth, and put a finger in his lips, asking him to be silent. He appreciates his friend’s concern, but sometimes Aiba just doesn’t know when he is expected to be quiet. Right now, what Nino needs is sleep, some deep dreamless sleep, and probably food too, but he needs to take a bath first, get out of this stupid ugly uniform, and…He stops dead. A man is sitting in front of him, on his dining chair to be precise. His father.
Aiba embraces him from behind, “He wants to see you, and it’s raining, so I let him wait inside. I’m sorry.”
Nino pats Aiba’s cheeks, mumbling that he is not angry with him, and walks straight to the bathroom. He could sense his father’s eyes at his back but he needs to clean himself first, as well as clear his mind.
21.
His father is a well-known conductor. He travels from one city to another, with his own orchestra and collects praises from all the critics. He was not so popular back then, but everything inside his head was about music and music only. There was no room for Nino or his mother, and so he left, choosing to pursue his music career.
Nino never really hated his father; he’s never known him well enough anyways. When he got older, he packed his belongings and asked his mother to permit him to live in a dormitory instead, eager to leave his hometown and the memories it carried. The only similarity between them is music.
Many years have passed since Nino stopped counting how many times that he wished he had not fallen in love with music, a yearning he still wishes was gone from his life, but it won’t go away. Music called him; it’s one of a few things that soothed the empty feelings away.
Looking at his father’s face now, Nino solemnly realizes that it’s been ages since they last contacted each other, and it’s been even longer since they sat across from each other, eye to eye. He knows his father’s face more from the newspaper than from memories. His father doesn’t waste time and persuades him to accept his offer: a chance to study music at a better school, with better facilities, better equipment, and better prospects for his future.
His father doesn’t apologize for leaving him, and Nino doesn’t expect him to because it will only sound fake. It’s better this way; this is the only he knows how to deal with it.
He doesn’t give his opinions right away, merely nodding his understanding about the situation. He can’t give him any promises, so his father leaves, feeling relieved because at least he has tried to be a better parent.
As soon as the door closes, Aiba appears, worry written over his face, and Nino smiles, assuring him that he’s okay. Aiba tells him that he has washed his uniform and tried to save as many letters as possible. Nino winces. The letters, he almost forgot about them.
They spread the letters on the table, shaking them hopelessly since most of the ink has faded. Nino sighs, thinking of how he will be scolded by his bosses for this - not that he can blame them; he knows he is the one at fault - when his eyes notice one of the letters that can still be saved.
It’s a letter addressed to Sho. He flips it around and sees that it’s from his family. Nino tears the envelope apart, and Aiba’s eyes widen in surprise, “What are y…” but Nino simply waves his hand. He stretches the letter and reads it.
Dear Sho,
How are you doing? I hope you are well, so are Mother and Shu. We are all doing fine here, only a little bit busy. Exam time is coming near and both Shu and I have to study harder than usual. I wish you were here to teach us, Sho, like you always did. Things always look less difficult when you’re beside us.
Maki often comes here to ask if we’ve heard any news from you. She is worried about you, as she should be, because you’re betrothed. Her annoying mother always asks if you will really marry her. Of course you would! How rude of her to ask that. A gentleman like you never abandons his fiancée, that’s what I tell her.
How about your invention, Sho? Have you finally figured out how to make it work properly? It would be fascinating if you could, but truthfully, we don’t care if you never become the world’s biggest inventor. We just want you go back home. Get settled, marry Maki, and give Mother lots of grandchildren.
Sho, you don’t have to worry about Father. He never mentions the night when you had a fight with him. It seems that he now regrets how he always demands too much from you, but we all know how big his pride is! He won’t admit it, but I’m sure he will accept you with open arms if you’re back, with or without an invention.
Please come back soon, Sho. We miss you terribly.
Answer me as soon as you’re able to.
Sincerely,
Your sister, Mai.
22.
That’s it.
Nino folds the letter carefully, pushing it to the center of the table to add to the others. He put his hands on the table; his voice is firm when he speaks “I’ve made the decision.” Aiba leans over the table to hear him better. “I will take the chance, Aiba. I will study in the city.”
Aiba’s face suddenly changes. Nino can make out a few things from his reaction; sadness, confusion, and disappointment but also understanding. He nods and gives him the best smile he can manage. “I will be lonely here, but I only want what’s best for you.”
Nino taps his best friend’s hand. “You have Becky to take care of, don’t you?”
23.
Nino packs up his things the very next day and knocks on his father’s hotel room, telling him his decision. His father’s face brightens, and he spread his arms as if wanting to pull Nino into a hug, but then decides better and pats his son’s shoulders instead. He takes Nino with him as soon as his recital ends and goes straight to the university, signing his registration papers. The principal is beyond excited to see him that he immediately accepts him without an entry test.
The university surely lives up to its reputation. Nino spends his days strolling the campus, attending classes of enormous size that are taught by well-renowned teachers. He ventures in music halls where students do their recitals, libraries full of music sheets and books, and studios with musical instruments from all over the world, some of which Nino has never seen before.
He buries himself in his study, telling himself that he has too many things to catch up on to consider other trivial matters. Busy trying new instruments he has never played before, busy testing how the sound will turn out if he plays them in the music halls, busy reading the histories of famous people, busy practicing songs he has never heard before. He clings on to opportunities to be better.
The only problem is, that no matter how busy he gets, he still can’t sleep well. He keeps having the same nightmare: dreams of chains binding his legs, trying to pull him down. Sometimes his father is there, but more often he is replaced by Sho telling him that he has never seen him as a child. Or Sho slurping up his noodle, smiling at him. Or Sho in a church, surrounded by his family, walking down the aisle with his soon-to-be-wife. Or Ohno, asking him, Because of what, Nino? Because of what? Before he is able to react, Jun always shows up, repeating over and over his last words from years ago.
Nino always wakes up panting, sweat dripping down his body. He ends up clutching his violin next to his heart, and practicing his lessons instead of going back to sleep.
His father is on his tour again, and he sends one or two letters to Nino, asking how his studies are going, but Nino simply tosses them away in the trash bin.
He only replies to letter from his mother and Aiba. His former roommate continuously tells him how lonely he is without him, but he understands Nino’s decision and wishes him the best. Becky adds cute flowers to the letter, telling him that they are taking care of a dog together. Aiba tries to draw the dog, but it turns up as a weird-looking monster instead.
Nino chuckles at Aiba’s dog, and then he stops, because the drawing reminds him of someone else. Sho. He shakes his head, convincing himself it’s for the best. Sho’s parents want him to give them grandchildren; he will only be a hindrance to their wish.
As he writes his reply letter, he hears someone knocking on his door and opens it up. To his surprise, Jun is standing outside. “Hi.”
Nino’s mouth gapes open.
Jun takes off his hat, “Aren’t you going to let me in?” and barges inside, making himself comfortable in Nino’s chair.
Nino sighs. He can’t believe that Jun just act as if those separated years mean nothing. Yet he is there in his room, already removing his coat and hanging it behind the chair. Nino closes the door and sits on his bed across from Jun, eyeing him suspiciously. “Why are you here, Jun?”
“Well, first, I study here too,” Jun begins to explain. “Second, I always wanted to see you after you entered this school, but I didn’t because I was participating in a teacher’s tour, but now…” He shrugs. “I’m back.”
Nino doesn’t give a reaction.
Jun looks at the room carefully. “Nice room. Must be because of your father.” Then he picks some sheet music from the table and pretends to study them. “Well…there is a third reason, but I will tell you later.” He leans forward, “How is it? Studying here?”
Nino snorts and tries to change the subject, “I thought you were going to ask me about how I feel about Ohno.”
Jun smiles, points to one of the music halls and explains how he first saw Ohno during an art exhibition there.
Nino takes a glance at the hall. “He is a good man, Ohno.”
“He is.”
“You’re lucky to have him.”
Jun nods, his expression grim, as his fingers continue to flip through the sheet music. “I am.”
Nino watches the movements. He knows Jun has more things to say; he wouldn’t come to his room just for the sake of saying hi. Lacking the patience this time around for Jun to speak up, Nino grabs the sheets away. “What is it? If you want to say something, just say it.”
“It’s nothing. It’s just…” Seeing Nino’s irritated face, Jun sighs and rubs his face in frustration. The expression is familiar; he knows Nino won’t let go of the problem unless he spills it out now. “Oh okay, I just want to finish this unsolved matter between us.”
Nino narrows his eyes but says nothing.
Jun catches his breath and continues, “You were afraid, not of me, but of being left behind,” he stressing out the last part.
Nino clenches his jaw. All the images from his nightmares flash in his mind: his father walking away, Jun leaving him, and Sho walking down the alley. He always knew what it meant; he just didn’t want to admit it, though by then he knows that avoiding the issue doesn’t mean he can escape from his problems.
He glares at Jun, “What do you know of me?” His voice is shaking, not because of anger, but because Jun has caught him off guard and Jun knows it.
“Kazu.” Jun kneels down to hold Nino’s hands, his brows furrowed. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to say it that way.” Nino throws his gaze away but Jun’s voice forces him to look up again.“Years ago, I ran away, because I wasn’t sure if you loved me…” Nino raises his face up, trying to interrupt, but Jun continues, “and I know you did, but I felt that I failed you, since you didn’t feel safe enough to let down your guard. I was just a child after all,” he smiles sadly.
Nino looks at his lap, closing his eyes. He could always count on Jun to be so earnest and so honest at the same time. He envies Jun for being brave enough to say what’s on his mind.
“And I know, because I was the same,” Jun speaks again. “I accused you of keeping yourself at a distance, while I did precisely the same thing. I ran away before you could hurt me.”
Nino starts chuckling, feeling amused at the irony that what he loves from Jun is also the one thing he hates the most. Why is Jun always the one who says sorry first?
Jun takes the laugh as a sign that he is permitted to finish. “Ohno made me realize that quitting things is not the same as letting go.” He pauses for a while. “And I’m here to let you go, to let our memories go.” He rubs Nino’s hands slowly. “Because otherwise it will still linger here, haunting the both of us.”
And Jun was right, of course; he is always right like that.
There is silence for a while as they both absorb the new revelation. Nino takes the time to study Jun’s face below him, trying to find the love he once felt so strongly for him, but there is none. He tries to search for jealousy or hate, for Jun is in love with Ohno, but there’s also none. What Nino feels is just relief.
All these years, he was unable to remove Jun from his mind, and he thought it was due to his thirst for revenge, a grudge because Jun left first. Now, he realizes that it was regret. Regret that they didn’t end it right, that they both ran away from what they could have become.
No matter how many years passed, there was always this gap; there was always something lingering there, deep down, something unfinished. The question was always there, hanging, waiting to be asked, and now strangely, Nino couldn’t understand why it took so long to say it out loud. He begins with a snort, then a chuckle, and then finally a laugh, throwing his head back. Jun follows, laughing uncontrollably because of the silliness of their youth.
Nino finds his voice first. He stops laughing and squeezes the hands in his. “Together but yet not together?” He says softly with a hint of playfulness, and Jun sighs, relieved from the awareness that Nino understands him and that they have somehow let go of their burdens. He squeezes back as his smiles grows wider, “You still remember those words?”
“No thanks to you,” Nino remarks.
Carefully, Jun lets go of his hands and sits back to his chair. “Does this mean I am forgiven?”
Nino kicks the chair. “Not so fast,” and before he loses his bravery, he confesses, “I’ve never meant to deceive you.”
Jun leans back, the amusement still lingering in his eyes. “We made the right decision back then. We couldn’t fulfill each other, could we?”
Nino crosses his legs, nodding quietly, “We still can’t.”
“Which is why,” Jun coughs and takes out a newspaper cut from his pocket, “I am here to prevent you from making the same mistake again.”
Nino eyes him with a questioning look.
Jun hands him the newspaper. “Read it, please. This is my third reason.”
24.
THE INVENTION OF THE CENTURY
Sakurai Sho, the son of the Diplomat Sakurai Shinzu, has just invented a machine that combines the function of musical recording and film. Taking his inspiration from films, which are made up of a series of individual images that change rapidly in succession, Sakurai Sho’s machine is able to capture the images in more detailed motion to further enhance illusion of movement. What makes the machine so special is that not only do they move, but we are also able to hear sounds. It is exactly like reality seen through an opera glass and heard through a tube.
The first film Sakurai recorded is about a boy playing a violin by windowsill. Sakurai named the machine Ninoscope, claiming that it is named after someone he loves. When he was asked if the person he talked about is the boy in his film and if that was the reason of his marriage cancellation, Sakurai just smiled and retreated back to his house.
There’s a picture of Sho standing beside his machine with Nino’s blurry picture projected beside it. Nino raises his head up.
Jun gives him the answer to the question for which he doesn’t ask, “Aiba checked out the letter you opened that day. It was a letter for this Sakurai, wasn’t it?” Without waiting for Nino’s reply, he searches for something in his pocket. “I have the train ticket. It’s time to face your fears.”
25.
Nino runs to Sho’s tower right after the train hits the station. He usually flies there, so he’s a little confused about which direction he should go. However, noticing the tower from afar, he immediately runs toward it, never stopping even though people start whispering and pointing their fingers at him, probably recognizing his figure from the newspaper’s front page.
Nino doesn’t care. He runs as if there’s a madman chasing him.
He is tired of running away. All this time he unconsciously believed that it’s better to leave than to be left. But it’s not true; he smiles, remembering Jun and Aiba and even his father. He doesn’t want to regret anything again, not this time.
He arrives at Sho’s door and immediately knocks on it hard, harder than he should; only realizing then that he has never seen the front door before. Someone comes to open the door and it’s Sho. He stares at the sight of Nino and freezes.
Nino pants, too exhausted to say anything, and leans on the wall, trying to catch his breath. Sho doesn’t say anything; he just grabs him and pulls him inside. Nino pulls on Sho’s shirt, trying to make out his words, “You…Ninoscope…Fiancée.”
Sho’s brows furrow, and he asks, “How do you know that I have, no,” he shakes his head gently, “had a fiancée?”
Nino’s body slumps to the floor, leaning back on the window to support himself. Sho kneels down in front of him. “I...I was here, in the attic, when she came to see you.”
Sho holds Nino’s hand, a hint of annoyance shows in his face. “Is that why you left?”
Nino stares at his feet. “And I read your letter,” he continues, “the letter from your sister talking about your fiancée and such.” He searches for Sho’s face and touches it, “I’m sorry.”
Sho takes his hand and brings it to his lips. He sighs and his anger seems to be subsided. “Nino, oh Nino. Why didn’t ever tell me about this? You just left, leaving a silly message behind.” Nino’s heart swells at Sho’s touch. He tries to say something but Sho cuts him off, “If only you stayed longer to hear what I said to Maki. I told her that very day that I couldn’t marry her, because she’s not the one I love.”
Nino shakes his head and lets out a wry laugh. “You’ve never said anything about it.”
“I thought you knew. I thought that I didn’t have to put a name on it.”
Nino’s fingers run through Sho lips. “Oh Sho, what are we doing? I can’t bring you down with me.”
“Who says that you’re bringing me down?” Sho’s voice rises up. “Who says that you are the only one who needs me?” Sho cups Nino’s face and kisses him slowly. “Don’t make your own presumptions. I need you as bad as you need me.”
Nino gasps, his hand holding Sho’s neck, bringing him closer.
“I miss you,” Sho whispers, “I miss you laughing at me. I miss us eating food together. I miss your giggles when you tease me. I miss you smiling proudly after a successful card trick. I miss you sitting beside the window, playing your music, watching me. I don’t need a drawing teacher; Besides, I can always draw those again if I wanted. What I need is you.” He chuckles. “You’d be afraid to know how much I’ve missed you.”
Sho hugs him, rubbing his hair and Nino snuggles, hiding his face in Sho’s neck.
“When you found me,” Sho began again, “I was frustrated, devastated to prove my worth to my father, to my family. I ran out of ideas, of confidence, of my sanity, but then you came and you saved me.” He kisses Nino’s head. “I saw you with your wings, and for a moment I was convinced that you’re the muse heaven sent to me.” Sho’s words cause Nino to laugh. “And what a muse you are.”
“The Ninoscope?”
“Yes,” Sho grins and Nino kisses it, remembering how much he has missed those red lips. “It was because I wanted to see you, to hear you so badly that I created the machine. I tried so hard to create the world’s biggest invention, but who knew such a simple machine would gain so much recognition?”
“At least it has a beautiful name,” Nino snorts, and Sho laughs, a laugh that Nino loves more than anything in the world. He stares at Sho’s eyes and makes a decision, “I won’t run away again, Sho, I promise you.”
Now Nino understands why he was attracted to Sho at first sight. Sho promises him safety and protection. He needs Sho, and Nino’s heart requires someone who can assure him that he is needed as well. Someone who is not too stubborn to admit his weakness or to confess his feelings, because Nino would never be able to say it first. Someone who will forgive him, and above all, someone who loves him better than anyone else.
He now realizes that while it was wrong to leave Sho, it was also right. The separation allowed him to realize how much they love, how much they care for, and how much they need each other. It allowed him to see how badly they want to be a part of each other’s lives. A home for his weary soul, Nino notes, and he won’t let him slip away from his fingers again.
Sho is about to say something, but Nino is not finished yet. He swears, “This time it will be different. I know you’re too valuable for me to let go, the biggest inventor of the century or not.” His eyes twinkle playfully, teasing Sho. “I want to make an effort to be in your life. Will you let me try?”
Sho bows his head, and for a second, Nino is afraid that Sho can’t forgive him. Then Sho raises his head up, and smiles widely, “There isn’t a question I approve of more.”
With that answer, Nino throws himself at Sho. There are tears in the corner of his eyes, the first tears he’s shed in years, and Sho notices. He quickly cups Nino’s face and kisses them away. As they embrace each other again, Sho lifts up Nino’s body and cradles him in his lap. Nino turns his head and kisses Sho’s jaw, enjoying their closeness. “It’s Kazu.”
Sho obediently repeats, “Kazu.”
He leans his mouth to Sho’s ears and whispers, “By the way, that muse from heaven thing is pretty cliché.”
Sho silences him, “I know that.”
26.
Nino doesn’t really remember how it starts. One moment he is just sitting there on Sho’s lap, then next the space in between their bodies has disappeared. Their kisses grow desperate, and suddenly Sho’s lips are on his shoulder, his neck, his collarbones. Nino squirms, not exactly sure what he is supposed to do. Eyes dark and slightly unfocused, Sho pulls his body into a hug, and Nino hides his head in the crook of Sho’s neck as Sho takes him.
Sho lays Nino on his bed, opens his shirt, and comes back to Nino, kissing him, helping him remove his clothes. Nino whimpers as Sho explores his body. Every move makes him feel helpless under Sho’s hands. Sho growls quietly as he grinds his hips, and Nino gasps, his lips finding Sho’s jaw, kissing it. Nino can sense Sho’s confidence, and he feels lost compared to him, but Sho moans his appreciation, and Nino decides to just move as he pleases.
Sho nuzzles Nino’s nape, leaving bruises that will surely be seen in the morning, and Nino is shaking when Sho finally removes his pants. Sho kisses him; his kiss is deep and lingering, as if promising that he won’t hurt him. Nino lets his body relax as Sho rubs him carefully, trying to wash away his nervousness. When Nino nods to show that he can continue, Sho crawls over his body, covering it as he bends down, and reaches for Nino’s length. Nino moans and rolls his head on the pillow as Sho strokes it. Sho smiles at the view in front of him: Nino, lying on his bed, with tousled hair and dark eyes. Nino looks down and gulps as he sees Sho’s masculine hands on his length, and then all thoughts stop as Sho starts pulling with sure strokes.
Sho licks his neck as he strokes Nino, who closes his eyes, gasping Sho’s name with each breath. Then Sho suddenly stops his hand movement, and Nino whines, stunned at how lost he feels without Sho. They’re both panting. Nino opens his eyes to see Sho reach for a jar of oil on his bedside table, struggling to open it. He oils his fingers and instructs Nino to opens his legs wider, and so Nino does, knowing vaguely what will happen next.
Sho puts a pillow underneath Nino’s back before pressing his finger in, and Nino keens, his fingers clenching the bed sheets. He takes it slow, checking Nino’s condition before adding a second finger and scissoring it carefully, going wider as Nino’s lips part slightly, and light pants escape his lips. It is a strange sensation, and Nino feels dizzy as each move delivers a shock to his nerves, but Sho kisses his shoulder and licks his neck, and Nino whimpers in pleasure, getting used to the feeling of Sho’s fingers inside him.
Sho murmurs that Nino needs to grip his shoulders, and Nino obeys, arching up when Sho adds his third finger and pushes them as far as he can. Then Nino feels as if Sho has just touched something inside him that lights all of his senses on fire. It is slightly uncomfortable but is also the greatest pleasure he has ever felt. Sho smiles as Nino cries out and unconsciously bucks his hips down to meet his fingers. He touches it again and again, enjoying how helpless Nino looks.
Soon, he can’t ignore his own hardness, and he pulls his fingers out to pull his pants down and spreads some more oil onto his length. Sho stumbles upon the bed, and Nino reaches for him, panting as his hands touch Sho’s chest. Sho presses him to lie on his back, one of his legs pushing between Nino’s, and Nino gasps as a pair of lips plays on his flesh.
Sho’s hardness against his entrance creates a different sensation than his fingers. Nino stares at Sho’s eyes and finds Sho looking at him back. He nods, and Sho wraps his hands around his waist, holding him as he presses himself in, letting out a moan that sounds more like a growl as Nino hisses. Nino presses their foreheads together, and Sho pushes more of himself, loving how Nino moans more the longer they go. He tries to go slowly, but Nino mewls and rolls his head, giving access for Sho to kiss and lick at his Adam’s apple. He whispers his adoration, and Nino replies, reaching anxiously for Sho, urging him to move faster.
Sho sets a pace of shallow thrusting, allowing Nino to catch his breath, before he suddenly changes his angle and hits that spot inside him again. Nino cries, and his hand forcefully grips Sho’s shoulders. He knows it will leave marks later, which turn him on even more.
Sho’s hand goes to his length, stroking it in time with his thrusts, and Nino forgets everything as he whimpers, trying to hold on. Sho leans in, and Nino gives him affectionate kisses, holding him close as Sho pounds into him. Nino puts his hips up, trying to meet Sho halfway, letting out noises that suspiciously sound like Sho’s name.
Sho smiles; he knows that Nino is close. He twists his wrist, stroking harder and faster as he snaps his hips, and Nino comes, shuddering as he cries out. Sho slowly lets go of Nino’s length but keeps moving his hips, thrusting into his orgasm, and Nino does something to make his body clench, causing Sho to growl, unable to hold back. The warmth encases him while Nino rubs his back, holding him.
Sho opens his eyes as Nino lies silently in the bed, and then they pull away from each other. Sho kisses Nino’s forehead and smiles, leaving for the bathroom soon after in search of a damp washcloth to clean their bodies.
There is a comfortable silence after that, Sho lying on top of Nino, soothing him. Sho rolls over, pulling Nino closer, and cradles against him. Nino listens to Sho’s heartbeat as he presses his head onto his chest. In Sho’s hands, Nino feels, and knows, that he has found the place where he belongs. He closes his eyes, and after months, he is finally able to sleep without any nightmares haunting him.
27.
Nino takes Sho to meet Aiba and Becky. He is getting tired of their constant demands to be introduced to Sho ever since he returned.
He sends a letter to his father on their way to the park, thanking him for everything, apologizing for choosing to stay in the same town as Sho. He appreciates his father’s decision to focus on music, but for Nino, having someone to go back to is more important than being excellent in music. He knows music won’t leave him even if he doesn’t chase it. He just has different priorities than his father. He ends the letter by saying that his father can visit them anytime he wants; he will always be welcomed.
Aiba and Becky wave at them. They are ecstatic to see Sho, and immediately seem to like him. Becky even comments that Sho is far too good for Nino, which begins a chase between the two around the park.
Aiba tells them that they’re getting married soon, and Nino shouts out his congratulations, hugging them both together and wishing them the best and dozens of children.
It is a beautiful day at the park and Becky points out that they should ride a hot air balloon -- Nino’s treat, because she and Aiba are getting married.
Sho moans but avoids answering when they look at him with bewilderment. Up in the air, his face goes pale, and he won’t let go of the railing. “I’m actually afraid of heights,” he whispers.
Nino stares at him with his mouth open. “You live in a tower!”
His voice rising slightly, Sho defends, “But I’ve never looked down below!”
They all laugh at him.
“How can a man who is afraid of heights live in a place so high?” Nino snorts.
“Well, otherwise I would never have gotten the chance to meet you,” Sho reasons, causing Nino to blush and look away.
Aiba looks at them in turn and grins widely. He pats Sho’s back and declares how happy he is to see Nino happy, and taking Sho’s hand dramatically, Aiba asks him to take care of his best friend. Sho promises as Nino whines, “What are you, my father?”
But his eyes meet Sho’s, and he knows that they don’t have to put a title on their feelings. He doesn’t have to tell Sho about his fear. He doesn’t have to state his reasons. Sho understands, and he will be there when Nino reaches for him. For the first time in years, Nino feels safe.
28.
Ohno looks up from his easel when he hears a chuckling sound from Jun’s direction, “What’s wrong?”
Jun grins. He stands up and hugs Ohno from behind, placing butterfly kisses along his neck, “Nino sends a challenge.”
♥ Me and Sho are really lovey-dovey here, much more than you and Ohno! ♥
From: jadeswallow
Part 1
15.
Jun stands up and approaches him. “I thought I would find you if I came here.”
“Are you busy now?” Jun squats down and starts picking up his books, handing them to Nino with a solemn expression on his face. Their hands accidentally brush when Nino receives his books, and he quickly retreats it. He suddenly feels the urge to run, but he can’t, and he won’t. “Depends.”
Jun puts his hand in his pocket and the two stay like that, standing in the middle of the street, both unable to start a conversation.
“I need to tell you something,” Jun is the first to break the silence. “It’s kind of important.”
Running his fingers through his hair, Jun stares at Nino, who finds his heart beating faster, remembering those eyes, remembering what those pair of eyes once meant to him. A long time ago. Or perhaps not that long enough.
He throws away his gaze and looks at his feet, mumbling his agreement, only to raise his eyes and see Jun’s face expressing relief. He nods his head towards a café at their right, and starts walking to find a seat outdoors, knowing Jun will follow closely behind.
Jun can almost see Nino’s impatience, the way he fidgets on his seat and is almost ready to blurt out the question. But Jun is faster, raising his hand to call the waiter and smiling, “Wait ‘til we order first.” Before Nino can say anything else, Jun adds, “My treat.”
The waiter comes, and Jun orders them two cups of black coffee. They sit in silence. Jun taps his fingers on the table. Nino pretends to admire the vase of flowers in front of him, while a hundred things to say are held on his tongue. Nino doesn’t like to say useless, irrelevant things, because he knows that what happened in the past can never be undone. However, his heart has different thoughts. It aches, still, painfully throbbing at the sight of him, not even a meter away, looking so handsome in his suit and black coat. Nino knows that Jun also feels the same way, because he knows him so well. Or he used to.
The coffee comes, and Nino takes a sip, eyeing Jun curiously. This is not a competition, but Nino is far too stubborn to speak first. Jun coughs and immediately put his cup down. “Let’s gets straight to the point then, shall we?”
Nino nods, “It’s better that way.”
“Well,” Jun begins, “I saw your father.”
Nino squints his eyes. Of all the things he thought Jun would want to talk about, he never thought it would be this one. He tries to calm down, taking another sip.
“In a neighboring city,” Jun continues, “he’s having a recital.”
Nino’s eyes follow a sparrow that flies nearby, trying to focus his mind on the sparrow’s movements.
Jun sips, allowing him a few moments to think.
Nino sighs, closing his eyes.
“He wants to see you.”
He snaps his eyes open.
Jun then slowly explains how he accidentally met his father at the university, how surprises his father was to know that Nino is studying music too, and how he plans to offer Nino a chance to study at a better university.
Nino laughs, a laugh that sounds bitter even in his own ear. “With his money?”
Jun nods, “He doesn’t know that we’re…” He straightens up his body before finding his voice again, “not together anymore. He wants me to pass the message to you.”
Nino swallows, starting to pack up his books, feeling ridiculous that he has just wasted his time for such a ridiculous conversation. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, Jun.” He stops for a while before continuing, searching for the correct thing to say, “More than anyone else, you should know….”
“It happened years ago, Kazu.” Jun holds his hand, stopping him. “Don’t you think he deserves a second chance? Don’t you think you, your talent, deserve this chance?”
Nino just stays silent and Jun carefully pulls back his hand. “Think about it. There are many things you can learn there and not here. Things have changed now.”
Nino means to say something, but decides against it. He merely clutches his books tighter to his chest. The sparrow has flown away; they always leave, in the end.
Jun sighs and searches for a pen and a paper in his bag; he writes an address before stuffing it in Nino’s fist. “If you change your mind, search for me here.”
Nino reads at the address and frowns; he knows this place. He looks at Jun in awe, “What’s your relation with Ohno the painter?”
It’s Jun’s turn to look at him in surprise. “You know him?”
“I deliver letters to him almost every day for my part-time job,” he quickly explains upon seeing Jun’s confused face.
“Well,” Jun stares at his feet, “we’re together now.”
Nino just stands there, stunned, his body stiffening. There is a silence as he tries to grasp the situation.
“Well,” he replies dryly, “things surely have changed.”
16.
Nino takes a peek from outside Ohno’s window the next day, searching for any hint of Jun. He doesn’t quite understand why he’s here today, on a rare day where there’s no letter to deliver to Ohno.
“He’s not here.”
Nino jumps when he hears Ohno’s voice. Ohno is sitting behind his easel, as usual, smiling. He waves him to come closer and pats the chair next to him. Nino steps inside and sits down. His hands start playing with Ohno’s brushes, as they always do, because Ohno has many brushes, and he never seems to actually mind that Nino messes them all up. He takes off his wings. Ohno hums and keeps drawing and for a while, Nino just stays there, enjoying his company.
“Have you heard…” Nino starts, but unable to find the words to finish -- not that it matters, because he knows that Ohno knows.
“Um,” Ohno answers as he continues his work, “the world is a surprisingly small place, isn’t it?”
Nino cups his hands around his face and nods, agreeing.
“So,” Ohno continues, washing his brush in a large bowl and stepping back a little to take better view of his drawing, “an offer to study in a better place, eh?”
Nino glances at him. “Has he also told you about…”
“About your father?” Ohno interrupts. “Yes.”
Nino dyes his brush red and sweeps it on Ohno’s canvas, unconsciously drawing an alien that looks like a grasshopper. “Then you know that I won’t take the chance.”
Ohno tilts his head. “Why not?”
“Because.”
“Because?”
“Because.”
Ohno draws orange grass and trees around the grasshopper. “Is it that hard…to forgive him?”
Nino stands up. The air feels suffocating, somehow. He approaches the window and takes a deep breath. “He left.”
Ohno blinks. “So did Jun.”
“We’re better apart,” he answered at once.
Ohno looks at him carefully in the eye. “What‘s the difference? How do you know your parents are not better apart?”
Avoiding his gaze, Nino merely keeps himself busy by looking through Ohno’s paintings one by one, pretending to be fascinated when he has already browsed through them a couple of times.
“Jun told me this is not the first time he had tried,” Ohno soothingly says.
Nino let his hand linger on a painting. “Perhaps,” he mumbles.
Ohno starts to ask something else when they hear noises down below.
Nino jumps. “Is it Jun?”
Ohno turns his head. “I think it is.”
Nino grabs his wings and puts them on record time,. “I better get going.” He climbs the window and prepares to take off when Ohno calls his name.
Nino turns.
Ohno touches his hand, slightly, “You should ask him.”
Nino blinks.
“The one you love now.”
Nino swallows. He hears the sound of a key being put into the hole and knows that Jun will be inside any second. He doesn’t want to see him, not now at least. He nods at Ohno and takes off, exhales the air and surrenders himself to the sky and the wind that surround him, silently wishing that they could take all of his confusion away as well.
17.
He is a child again, sitting on his bed, and his father kneels in front of him, taking his hand, telling him that he needs to go. He looks at his father’s blurry face and tries to touch it, but suddenly the room is spinning, and he changes into a teenager, sitting in his old classroom.
Jun is there, looking at him, saying, I will be moving out to the city. Nino wants to say Don’t go, but instead he just stares at his feet, When? Jun approaches him, We can’t be like this forever, Nino. It’s not fair for both of us.
He looks up, and his father is there too, standing behind Jun, waving at him, mouthing goodbye and leaving without looking back. Nino wants to chase after him, but he can’t move his feet, and as he looks below in horror, he notices that he is trapped in iron chains.
Nino watches as the chains move in a snake-like fashion, twisting him, spreading and growing like a giant beanstalk, and squeezing his body. Suddenly the floor opens, showing a pit of fire below, and he chokes, trying to get away but failing as the chains slowly pull him down.
He looks at his father. He can just barely see his back now, and he spreads his hands, trying to reach him when Jun touches his shoulders. Nino turns around. Jun looks at him with lingering grief in his eyes and says, We’re together but yet we’re not together, and Nino wants to tell him he doesn’t mean it that way. They are not supposed to end like that.
He tries to speak, but the chains move and clamp his mouth, and Nino struggles. He has to tell him; he has to tell Jun that he doesn’t want him to leave, that things will be different, and he forces himself to remove the chains with his last strength, screaming.
He wakes up from his sleep, sweating and breathing hard as though he had been running. He sits up, and hears Aiba’s footsteps hurriedly coming towards him. Nino puts his face in his hands, panting; he feels his bed shift as Aiba sits beside him, stroking his hair, asking him about what just happened.
Nino swallows, the air suffocating him, and he inhales deeply, his hand clutching his shirt. There is not enough room to breathe. He stands up and opens the window, while Aiba just sits there, waiting. He exhales and closes his eyes, answering, “Nothing. Just a nightmare that’s all.” His voice is trembling more than he thought it would, but Aiba says nothing. He simply pats his back and hurries to the kitchen to grab him a glass of water.
18.
Nino skips class the very next day. He goes to the post office and forces them to give him a route, and so they do, although Nino can feel them eyeing him suspiciously. He knows he looks paler than usual and that he is insane to ask for a route in this kind of weather, but he couldn’t get back to sleep after the nightmare, spending the night listening Jun’s voices echoing in his ears instead.
What does together but yet not together mean anyway? Silly Jun the worrywart.
Nino doesn’t care what other people think; they’re all unimportant. He hurriedly puts on his uniform and grabs his bag of letters, desperately feeling the need to see Sho. He wants to see Sho smiling at him, mess up his hair, and offer him a fried egg he just made. He wants to tease Sho’s lack of creativity and hold on to his slopping shoulders as they kiss.
He doesn’t want to think of Jun; Jun is not important anymore. After all Jun was the one who chose to leave him, wasn’t he? He bangs his head on the wall, trying to drive his migraine away. He doesn’t understand, doesn’t want to think about the unexplainable pain in his chest every time he remembers Jun. Nino doesn’t love Jun anymore; Jun is his past.
Nino shakes his head and shoves those thoughts away, trying to convince himself that it’s not something important. He wears his hat and wings, cursing out loud as one of the broken feathers pricks his finger. He sucks the blood, I will take care of it in Sho’s tower, and takes off, ready to challenge the heavy rain outside.
19.
He lands on Sho’s wooden floor a half an hour later, soaked from head to toe, shuddering.
The goggles obscure his view in the calm indoors, so he takes them off and turns his head, searching for the man he misses. The room is beyond dark; all the lights on the top floor are turned off. Strange, Nino thinks, Sho usually studies here at this hour.
Nino looks around and notices a small hint of light coming from the floor below. He creeps his way to the stairs’ railing, carefully taking a peek and sees Sho sitting on a couch. Beside him, sit a beautiful woman near their age, and Nino’s eyes spread wide in jealously as he sees the girl holding Sho’s hand within her own. Nino quickly kneels, lowering himself to the ground to eavesdrop on their conversation.
The girl squeezes Sho’s hand, saying that she misses him.
Sho smiles, “How have you been doing? And your family?”
The girl lets go and reaches for a cup of tea served in front of her. “They’re fine. They are worried about you, your family too.”
Sho leans his back on the couch and chuckles, “There’s nothing to worry about me.”
The girl leans her head on Sho’s chest. “Well, I am worried about you too.” She turns around and kisses Sho’s cheek, “Can’t I be worried, especially since we are going to be married soon?”
Nino covers his mouth to mute the sound of his gasp. He steps back from the railing; the pain in his head is suddenly getting worse. His heart is pounding hard, but the most unbearable of all is that he could almost hear the sound of his hope fall, breaking into pieces.
The girl and Sho are still talking, and he stays there for a while, but his ears can’t hear anything. He puts on his goggles. It’s almost amusing how words are always the thing that hurt him the most.
Nevertheless, crying is not his thing. Nino has learnt to shut his despair away. Not even a single tear has he shed since his father left; not even when Jun left. His misery is locked away in a hidden place in his heart; he has learned that crying won’t change anything.
He stands up and rubs his wet face, and then silently walks to the blackboard. Stopping in front of it, he smiles. The drawings are still there, almost wiped away by time, but they are still there, the OTTERs and PANDAs and GRASSHOPPERs. Nino takes the eraser out, his fingers carefully touching the pictures for the last time, trying to burn them into his memory. He closes his eyes and nods, satisfied, before rubbing them all off to replace them with a new message,
I’m not the right person to teach you how to draw.
20.
It is already dark when Nino reaches home. Aiba quickly approaches him, chatters in surprise to see his condition, and asks him about what has happened: why he is soaking wet from head to toe, why he went to deliver the letter that day, whether his bosses forced him to do it, how they were not supposed to do that, not in a heavy rain like this, and how he will sue them tomorrow for the mistreatment.
Nino raises his hand to cover Aiba’s mouth, and put a finger in his lips, asking him to be silent. He appreciates his friend’s concern, but sometimes Aiba just doesn’t know when he is expected to be quiet. Right now, what Nino needs is sleep, some deep dreamless sleep, and probably food too, but he needs to take a bath first, get out of this stupid ugly uniform, and…He stops dead. A man is sitting in front of him, on his dining chair to be precise. His father.
Aiba embraces him from behind, “He wants to see you, and it’s raining, so I let him wait inside. I’m sorry.”
Nino pats Aiba’s cheeks, mumbling that he is not angry with him, and walks straight to the bathroom. He could sense his father’s eyes at his back but he needs to clean himself first, as well as clear his mind.
21.
His father is a well-known conductor. He travels from one city to another, with his own orchestra and collects praises from all the critics. He was not so popular back then, but everything inside his head was about music and music only. There was no room for Nino or his mother, and so he left, choosing to pursue his music career.
Nino never really hated his father; he’s never known him well enough anyways. When he got older, he packed his belongings and asked his mother to permit him to live in a dormitory instead, eager to leave his hometown and the memories it carried. The only similarity between them is music.
Many years have passed since Nino stopped counting how many times that he wished he had not fallen in love with music, a yearning he still wishes was gone from his life, but it won’t go away. Music called him; it’s one of a few things that soothed the empty feelings away.
Looking at his father’s face now, Nino solemnly realizes that it’s been ages since they last contacted each other, and it’s been even longer since they sat across from each other, eye to eye. He knows his father’s face more from the newspaper than from memories. His father doesn’t waste time and persuades him to accept his offer: a chance to study music at a better school, with better facilities, better equipment, and better prospects for his future.
His father doesn’t apologize for leaving him, and Nino doesn’t expect him to because it will only sound fake. It’s better this way; this is the only he knows how to deal with it.
He doesn’t give his opinions right away, merely nodding his understanding about the situation. He can’t give him any promises, so his father leaves, feeling relieved because at least he has tried to be a better parent.
As soon as the door closes, Aiba appears, worry written over his face, and Nino smiles, assuring him that he’s okay. Aiba tells him that he has washed his uniform and tried to save as many letters as possible. Nino winces. The letters, he almost forgot about them.
They spread the letters on the table, shaking them hopelessly since most of the ink has faded. Nino sighs, thinking of how he will be scolded by his bosses for this - not that he can blame them; he knows he is the one at fault - when his eyes notice one of the letters that can still be saved.
It’s a letter addressed to Sho. He flips it around and sees that it’s from his family. Nino tears the envelope apart, and Aiba’s eyes widen in surprise, “What are y…” but Nino simply waves his hand. He stretches the letter and reads it.
Dear Sho,
How are you doing? I hope you are well, so are Mother and Shu. We are all doing fine here, only a little bit busy. Exam time is coming near and both Shu and I have to study harder than usual. I wish you were here to teach us, Sho, like you always did. Things always look less difficult when you’re beside us.
Maki often comes here to ask if we’ve heard any news from you. She is worried about you, as she should be, because you’re betrothed. Her annoying mother always asks if you will really marry her. Of course you would! How rude of her to ask that. A gentleman like you never abandons his fiancée, that’s what I tell her.
How about your invention, Sho? Have you finally figured out how to make it work properly? It would be fascinating if you could, but truthfully, we don’t care if you never become the world’s biggest inventor. We just want you go back home. Get settled, marry Maki, and give Mother lots of grandchildren.
Sho, you don’t have to worry about Father. He never mentions the night when you had a fight with him. It seems that he now regrets how he always demands too much from you, but we all know how big his pride is! He won’t admit it, but I’m sure he will accept you with open arms if you’re back, with or without an invention.
Please come back soon, Sho. We miss you terribly.
Answer me as soon as you’re able to.
Sincerely,
Your sister, Mai.
22.
That’s it.
Nino folds the letter carefully, pushing it to the center of the table to add to the others. He put his hands on the table; his voice is firm when he speaks “I’ve made the decision.” Aiba leans over the table to hear him better. “I will take the chance, Aiba. I will study in the city.”
Aiba’s face suddenly changes. Nino can make out a few things from his reaction; sadness, confusion, and disappointment but also understanding. He nods and gives him the best smile he can manage. “I will be lonely here, but I only want what’s best for you.”
Nino taps his best friend’s hand. “You have Becky to take care of, don’t you?”
23.
Nino packs up his things the very next day and knocks on his father’s hotel room, telling him his decision. His father’s face brightens, and he spread his arms as if wanting to pull Nino into a hug, but then decides better and pats his son’s shoulders instead. He takes Nino with him as soon as his recital ends and goes straight to the university, signing his registration papers. The principal is beyond excited to see him that he immediately accepts him without an entry test.
The university surely lives up to its reputation. Nino spends his days strolling the campus, attending classes of enormous size that are taught by well-renowned teachers. He ventures in music halls where students do their recitals, libraries full of music sheets and books, and studios with musical instruments from all over the world, some of which Nino has never seen before.
He buries himself in his study, telling himself that he has too many things to catch up on to consider other trivial matters. Busy trying new instruments he has never played before, busy testing how the sound will turn out if he plays them in the music halls, busy reading the histories of famous people, busy practicing songs he has never heard before. He clings on to opportunities to be better.
The only problem is, that no matter how busy he gets, he still can’t sleep well. He keeps having the same nightmare: dreams of chains binding his legs, trying to pull him down. Sometimes his father is there, but more often he is replaced by Sho telling him that he has never seen him as a child. Or Sho slurping up his noodle, smiling at him. Or Sho in a church, surrounded by his family, walking down the aisle with his soon-to-be-wife. Or Ohno, asking him, Because of what, Nino? Because of what? Before he is able to react, Jun always shows up, repeating over and over his last words from years ago.
Nino always wakes up panting, sweat dripping down his body. He ends up clutching his violin next to his heart, and practicing his lessons instead of going back to sleep.
His father is on his tour again, and he sends one or two letters to Nino, asking how his studies are going, but Nino simply tosses them away in the trash bin.
He only replies to letter from his mother and Aiba. His former roommate continuously tells him how lonely he is without him, but he understands Nino’s decision and wishes him the best. Becky adds cute flowers to the letter, telling him that they are taking care of a dog together. Aiba tries to draw the dog, but it turns up as a weird-looking monster instead.
Nino chuckles at Aiba’s dog, and then he stops, because the drawing reminds him of someone else. Sho. He shakes his head, convincing himself it’s for the best. Sho’s parents want him to give them grandchildren; he will only be a hindrance to their wish.
As he writes his reply letter, he hears someone knocking on his door and opens it up. To his surprise, Jun is standing outside. “Hi.”
Nino’s mouth gapes open.
Jun takes off his hat, “Aren’t you going to let me in?” and barges inside, making himself comfortable in Nino’s chair.
Nino sighs. He can’t believe that Jun just act as if those separated years mean nothing. Yet he is there in his room, already removing his coat and hanging it behind the chair. Nino closes the door and sits on his bed across from Jun, eyeing him suspiciously. “Why are you here, Jun?”
“Well, first, I study here too,” Jun begins to explain. “Second, I always wanted to see you after you entered this school, but I didn’t because I was participating in a teacher’s tour, but now…” He shrugs. “I’m back.”
Nino doesn’t give a reaction.
Jun looks at the room carefully. “Nice room. Must be because of your father.” Then he picks some sheet music from the table and pretends to study them. “Well…there is a third reason, but I will tell you later.” He leans forward, “How is it? Studying here?”
Nino snorts and tries to change the subject, “I thought you were going to ask me about how I feel about Ohno.”
Jun smiles, points to one of the music halls and explains how he first saw Ohno during an art exhibition there.
Nino takes a glance at the hall. “He is a good man, Ohno.”
“He is.”
“You’re lucky to have him.”
Jun nods, his expression grim, as his fingers continue to flip through the sheet music. “I am.”
Nino watches the movements. He knows Jun has more things to say; he wouldn’t come to his room just for the sake of saying hi. Lacking the patience this time around for Jun to speak up, Nino grabs the sheets away. “What is it? If you want to say something, just say it.”
“It’s nothing. It’s just…” Seeing Nino’s irritated face, Jun sighs and rubs his face in frustration. The expression is familiar; he knows Nino won’t let go of the problem unless he spills it out now. “Oh okay, I just want to finish this unsolved matter between us.”
Nino narrows his eyes but says nothing.
Jun catches his breath and continues, “You were afraid, not of me, but of being left behind,” he stressing out the last part.
Nino clenches his jaw. All the images from his nightmares flash in his mind: his father walking away, Jun leaving him, and Sho walking down the alley. He always knew what it meant; he just didn’t want to admit it, though by then he knows that avoiding the issue doesn’t mean he can escape from his problems.
He glares at Jun, “What do you know of me?” His voice is shaking, not because of anger, but because Jun has caught him off guard and Jun knows it.
“Kazu.” Jun kneels down to hold Nino’s hands, his brows furrowed. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to say it that way.” Nino throws his gaze away but Jun’s voice forces him to look up again.“Years ago, I ran away, because I wasn’t sure if you loved me…” Nino raises his face up, trying to interrupt, but Jun continues, “and I know you did, but I felt that I failed you, since you didn’t feel safe enough to let down your guard. I was just a child after all,” he smiles sadly.
Nino looks at his lap, closing his eyes. He could always count on Jun to be so earnest and so honest at the same time. He envies Jun for being brave enough to say what’s on his mind.
“And I know, because I was the same,” Jun speaks again. “I accused you of keeping yourself at a distance, while I did precisely the same thing. I ran away before you could hurt me.”
Nino starts chuckling, feeling amused at the irony that what he loves from Jun is also the one thing he hates the most. Why is Jun always the one who says sorry first?
Jun takes the laugh as a sign that he is permitted to finish. “Ohno made me realize that quitting things is not the same as letting go.” He pauses for a while. “And I’m here to let you go, to let our memories go.” He rubs Nino’s hands slowly. “Because otherwise it will still linger here, haunting the both of us.”
And Jun was right, of course; he is always right like that.
There is silence for a while as they both absorb the new revelation. Nino takes the time to study Jun’s face below him, trying to find the love he once felt so strongly for him, but there is none. He tries to search for jealousy or hate, for Jun is in love with Ohno, but there’s also none. What Nino feels is just relief.
All these years, he was unable to remove Jun from his mind, and he thought it was due to his thirst for revenge, a grudge because Jun left first. Now, he realizes that it was regret. Regret that they didn’t end it right, that they both ran away from what they could have become.
No matter how many years passed, there was always this gap; there was always something lingering there, deep down, something unfinished. The question was always there, hanging, waiting to be asked, and now strangely, Nino couldn’t understand why it took so long to say it out loud. He begins with a snort, then a chuckle, and then finally a laugh, throwing his head back. Jun follows, laughing uncontrollably because of the silliness of their youth.
Nino finds his voice first. He stops laughing and squeezes the hands in his. “Together but yet not together?” He says softly with a hint of playfulness, and Jun sighs, relieved from the awareness that Nino understands him and that they have somehow let go of their burdens. He squeezes back as his smiles grows wider, “You still remember those words?”
“No thanks to you,” Nino remarks.
Carefully, Jun lets go of his hands and sits back to his chair. “Does this mean I am forgiven?”
Nino kicks the chair. “Not so fast,” and before he loses his bravery, he confesses, “I’ve never meant to deceive you.”
Jun leans back, the amusement still lingering in his eyes. “We made the right decision back then. We couldn’t fulfill each other, could we?”
Nino crosses his legs, nodding quietly, “We still can’t.”
“Which is why,” Jun coughs and takes out a newspaper cut from his pocket, “I am here to prevent you from making the same mistake again.”
Nino eyes him with a questioning look.
Jun hands him the newspaper. “Read it, please. This is my third reason.”
24.
THE INVENTION OF THE CENTURY
Sakurai Sho, the son of the Diplomat Sakurai Shinzu, has just invented a machine that combines the function of musical recording and film. Taking his inspiration from films, which are made up of a series of individual images that change rapidly in succession, Sakurai Sho’s machine is able to capture the images in more detailed motion to further enhance illusion of movement. What makes the machine so special is that not only do they move, but we are also able to hear sounds. It is exactly like reality seen through an opera glass and heard through a tube.
The first film Sakurai recorded is about a boy playing a violin by windowsill. Sakurai named the machine Ninoscope, claiming that it is named after someone he loves. When he was asked if the person he talked about is the boy in his film and if that was the reason of his marriage cancellation, Sakurai just smiled and retreated back to his house.
There’s a picture of Sho standing beside his machine with Nino’s blurry picture projected beside it. Nino raises his head up.
Jun gives him the answer to the question for which he doesn’t ask, “Aiba checked out the letter you opened that day. It was a letter for this Sakurai, wasn’t it?” Without waiting for Nino’s reply, he searches for something in his pocket. “I have the train ticket. It’s time to face your fears.”
25.
Nino runs to Sho’s tower right after the train hits the station. He usually flies there, so he’s a little confused about which direction he should go. However, noticing the tower from afar, he immediately runs toward it, never stopping even though people start whispering and pointing their fingers at him, probably recognizing his figure from the newspaper’s front page.
Nino doesn’t care. He runs as if there’s a madman chasing him.
He is tired of running away. All this time he unconsciously believed that it’s better to leave than to be left. But it’s not true; he smiles, remembering Jun and Aiba and even his father. He doesn’t want to regret anything again, not this time.
He arrives at Sho’s door and immediately knocks on it hard, harder than he should; only realizing then that he has never seen the front door before. Someone comes to open the door and it’s Sho. He stares at the sight of Nino and freezes.
Nino pants, too exhausted to say anything, and leans on the wall, trying to catch his breath. Sho doesn’t say anything; he just grabs him and pulls him inside. Nino pulls on Sho’s shirt, trying to make out his words, “You…Ninoscope…Fiancée.”
Sho’s brows furrow, and he asks, “How do you know that I have, no,” he shakes his head gently, “had a fiancée?”
Nino’s body slumps to the floor, leaning back on the window to support himself. Sho kneels down in front of him. “I...I was here, in the attic, when she came to see you.”
Sho holds Nino’s hand, a hint of annoyance shows in his face. “Is that why you left?”
Nino stares at his feet. “And I read your letter,” he continues, “the letter from your sister talking about your fiancée and such.” He searches for Sho’s face and touches it, “I’m sorry.”
Sho takes his hand and brings it to his lips. He sighs and his anger seems to be subsided. “Nino, oh Nino. Why didn’t ever tell me about this? You just left, leaving a silly message behind.” Nino’s heart swells at Sho’s touch. He tries to say something but Sho cuts him off, “If only you stayed longer to hear what I said to Maki. I told her that very day that I couldn’t marry her, because she’s not the one I love.”
Nino shakes his head and lets out a wry laugh. “You’ve never said anything about it.”
“I thought you knew. I thought that I didn’t have to put a name on it.”
Nino’s fingers run through Sho lips. “Oh Sho, what are we doing? I can’t bring you down with me.”
“Who says that you’re bringing me down?” Sho’s voice rises up. “Who says that you are the only one who needs me?” Sho cups Nino’s face and kisses him slowly. “Don’t make your own presumptions. I need you as bad as you need me.”
Nino gasps, his hand holding Sho’s neck, bringing him closer.
“I miss you,” Sho whispers, “I miss you laughing at me. I miss us eating food together. I miss your giggles when you tease me. I miss you smiling proudly after a successful card trick. I miss you sitting beside the window, playing your music, watching me. I don’t need a drawing teacher; Besides, I can always draw those again if I wanted. What I need is you.” He chuckles. “You’d be afraid to know how much I’ve missed you.”
Sho hugs him, rubbing his hair and Nino snuggles, hiding his face in Sho’s neck.
“When you found me,” Sho began again, “I was frustrated, devastated to prove my worth to my father, to my family. I ran out of ideas, of confidence, of my sanity, but then you came and you saved me.” He kisses Nino’s head. “I saw you with your wings, and for a moment I was convinced that you’re the muse heaven sent to me.” Sho’s words cause Nino to laugh. “And what a muse you are.”
“The Ninoscope?”
“Yes,” Sho grins and Nino kisses it, remembering how much he has missed those red lips. “It was because I wanted to see you, to hear you so badly that I created the machine. I tried so hard to create the world’s biggest invention, but who knew such a simple machine would gain so much recognition?”
“At least it has a beautiful name,” Nino snorts, and Sho laughs, a laugh that Nino loves more than anything in the world. He stares at Sho’s eyes and makes a decision, “I won’t run away again, Sho, I promise you.”
Now Nino understands why he was attracted to Sho at first sight. Sho promises him safety and protection. He needs Sho, and Nino’s heart requires someone who can assure him that he is needed as well. Someone who is not too stubborn to admit his weakness or to confess his feelings, because Nino would never be able to say it first. Someone who will forgive him, and above all, someone who loves him better than anyone else.
He now realizes that while it was wrong to leave Sho, it was also right. The separation allowed him to realize how much they love, how much they care for, and how much they need each other. It allowed him to see how badly they want to be a part of each other’s lives. A home for his weary soul, Nino notes, and he won’t let him slip away from his fingers again.
Sho is about to say something, but Nino is not finished yet. He swears, “This time it will be different. I know you’re too valuable for me to let go, the biggest inventor of the century or not.” His eyes twinkle playfully, teasing Sho. “I want to make an effort to be in your life. Will you let me try?”
Sho bows his head, and for a second, Nino is afraid that Sho can’t forgive him. Then Sho raises his head up, and smiles widely, “There isn’t a question I approve of more.”
With that answer, Nino throws himself at Sho. There are tears in the corner of his eyes, the first tears he’s shed in years, and Sho notices. He quickly cups Nino’s face and kisses them away. As they embrace each other again, Sho lifts up Nino’s body and cradles him in his lap. Nino turns his head and kisses Sho’s jaw, enjoying their closeness. “It’s Kazu.”
Sho obediently repeats, “Kazu.”
He leans his mouth to Sho’s ears and whispers, “By the way, that muse from heaven thing is pretty cliché.”
Sho silences him, “I know that.”
26.
Nino doesn’t really remember how it starts. One moment he is just sitting there on Sho’s lap, then next the space in between their bodies has disappeared. Their kisses grow desperate, and suddenly Sho’s lips are on his shoulder, his neck, his collarbones. Nino squirms, not exactly sure what he is supposed to do. Eyes dark and slightly unfocused, Sho pulls his body into a hug, and Nino hides his head in the crook of Sho’s neck as Sho takes him.
Sho lays Nino on his bed, opens his shirt, and comes back to Nino, kissing him, helping him remove his clothes. Nino whimpers as Sho explores his body. Every move makes him feel helpless under Sho’s hands. Sho growls quietly as he grinds his hips, and Nino gasps, his lips finding Sho’s jaw, kissing it. Nino can sense Sho’s confidence, and he feels lost compared to him, but Sho moans his appreciation, and Nino decides to just move as he pleases.
Sho nuzzles Nino’s nape, leaving bruises that will surely be seen in the morning, and Nino is shaking when Sho finally removes his pants. Sho kisses him; his kiss is deep and lingering, as if promising that he won’t hurt him. Nino lets his body relax as Sho rubs him carefully, trying to wash away his nervousness. When Nino nods to show that he can continue, Sho crawls over his body, covering it as he bends down, and reaches for Nino’s length. Nino moans and rolls his head on the pillow as Sho strokes it. Sho smiles at the view in front of him: Nino, lying on his bed, with tousled hair and dark eyes. Nino looks down and gulps as he sees Sho’s masculine hands on his length, and then all thoughts stop as Sho starts pulling with sure strokes.
Sho licks his neck as he strokes Nino, who closes his eyes, gasping Sho’s name with each breath. Then Sho suddenly stops his hand movement, and Nino whines, stunned at how lost he feels without Sho. They’re both panting. Nino opens his eyes to see Sho reach for a jar of oil on his bedside table, struggling to open it. He oils his fingers and instructs Nino to opens his legs wider, and so Nino does, knowing vaguely what will happen next.
Sho puts a pillow underneath Nino’s back before pressing his finger in, and Nino keens, his fingers clenching the bed sheets. He takes it slow, checking Nino’s condition before adding a second finger and scissoring it carefully, going wider as Nino’s lips part slightly, and light pants escape his lips. It is a strange sensation, and Nino feels dizzy as each move delivers a shock to his nerves, but Sho kisses his shoulder and licks his neck, and Nino whimpers in pleasure, getting used to the feeling of Sho’s fingers inside him.
Sho murmurs that Nino needs to grip his shoulders, and Nino obeys, arching up when Sho adds his third finger and pushes them as far as he can. Then Nino feels as if Sho has just touched something inside him that lights all of his senses on fire. It is slightly uncomfortable but is also the greatest pleasure he has ever felt. Sho smiles as Nino cries out and unconsciously bucks his hips down to meet his fingers. He touches it again and again, enjoying how helpless Nino looks.
Soon, he can’t ignore his own hardness, and he pulls his fingers out to pull his pants down and spreads some more oil onto his length. Sho stumbles upon the bed, and Nino reaches for him, panting as his hands touch Sho’s chest. Sho presses him to lie on his back, one of his legs pushing between Nino’s, and Nino gasps as a pair of lips plays on his flesh.
Sho’s hardness against his entrance creates a different sensation than his fingers. Nino stares at Sho’s eyes and finds Sho looking at him back. He nods, and Sho wraps his hands around his waist, holding him as he presses himself in, letting out a moan that sounds more like a growl as Nino hisses. Nino presses their foreheads together, and Sho pushes more of himself, loving how Nino moans more the longer they go. He tries to go slowly, but Nino mewls and rolls his head, giving access for Sho to kiss and lick at his Adam’s apple. He whispers his adoration, and Nino replies, reaching anxiously for Sho, urging him to move faster.
Sho sets a pace of shallow thrusting, allowing Nino to catch his breath, before he suddenly changes his angle and hits that spot inside him again. Nino cries, and his hand forcefully grips Sho’s shoulders. He knows it will leave marks later, which turn him on even more.
Sho’s hand goes to his length, stroking it in time with his thrusts, and Nino forgets everything as he whimpers, trying to hold on. Sho leans in, and Nino gives him affectionate kisses, holding him close as Sho pounds into him. Nino puts his hips up, trying to meet Sho halfway, letting out noises that suspiciously sound like Sho’s name.
Sho smiles; he knows that Nino is close. He twists his wrist, stroking harder and faster as he snaps his hips, and Nino comes, shuddering as he cries out. Sho slowly lets go of Nino’s length but keeps moving his hips, thrusting into his orgasm, and Nino does something to make his body clench, causing Sho to growl, unable to hold back. The warmth encases him while Nino rubs his back, holding him.
Sho opens his eyes as Nino lies silently in the bed, and then they pull away from each other. Sho kisses Nino’s forehead and smiles, leaving for the bathroom soon after in search of a damp washcloth to clean their bodies.
There is a comfortable silence after that, Sho lying on top of Nino, soothing him. Sho rolls over, pulling Nino closer, and cradles against him. Nino listens to Sho’s heartbeat as he presses his head onto his chest. In Sho’s hands, Nino feels, and knows, that he has found the place where he belongs. He closes his eyes, and after months, he is finally able to sleep without any nightmares haunting him.
27.
Nino takes Sho to meet Aiba and Becky. He is getting tired of their constant demands to be introduced to Sho ever since he returned.
He sends a letter to his father on their way to the park, thanking him for everything, apologizing for choosing to stay in the same town as Sho. He appreciates his father’s decision to focus on music, but for Nino, having someone to go back to is more important than being excellent in music. He knows music won’t leave him even if he doesn’t chase it. He just has different priorities than his father. He ends the letter by saying that his father can visit them anytime he wants; he will always be welcomed.
Aiba and Becky wave at them. They are ecstatic to see Sho, and immediately seem to like him. Becky even comments that Sho is far too good for Nino, which begins a chase between the two around the park.
Aiba tells them that they’re getting married soon, and Nino shouts out his congratulations, hugging them both together and wishing them the best and dozens of children.
It is a beautiful day at the park and Becky points out that they should ride a hot air balloon -- Nino’s treat, because she and Aiba are getting married.
Sho moans but avoids answering when they look at him with bewilderment. Up in the air, his face goes pale, and he won’t let go of the railing. “I’m actually afraid of heights,” he whispers.
Nino stares at him with his mouth open. “You live in a tower!”
His voice rising slightly, Sho defends, “But I’ve never looked down below!”
They all laugh at him.
“How can a man who is afraid of heights live in a place so high?” Nino snorts.
“Well, otherwise I would never have gotten the chance to meet you,” Sho reasons, causing Nino to blush and look away.
Aiba looks at them in turn and grins widely. He pats Sho’s back and declares how happy he is to see Nino happy, and taking Sho’s hand dramatically, Aiba asks him to take care of his best friend. Sho promises as Nino whines, “What are you, my father?”
But his eyes meet Sho’s, and he knows that they don’t have to put a title on their feelings. He doesn’t have to tell Sho about his fear. He doesn’t have to state his reasons. Sho understands, and he will be there when Nino reaches for him. For the first time in years, Nino feels safe.
28.
Ohno looks up from his easel when he hears a chuckling sound from Jun’s direction, “What’s wrong?”
Jun grins. He stands up and hugs Ohno from behind, placing butterfly kisses along his neck, “Nino sends a challenge.”
♥ Me and Sho are really lovey-dovey here, much more than you and Ohno! ♥