fic for astrangerenters
For: astrangerenters
From: littlealex
Title: The Myth of Ohno Satoshi
Pairing/Focus: Nino, with many and sundry guests
Rating: PG, for excessive wine drinking.
Warnings: No warnings, just lots of good fun.
Summary: Arashi/White Collar crossover. Nino chases an old friend and a mythical art forger on a case Sho finds baseless, with the help of some friends.
Notes: astrangerenters I hope you like it! This was loads of fun to write, even if my casefic skills leave something to be desired. At least there are a ton of cameos! Thanks to SS & LS for their help reading it over; this would be riddled with holes otherwise.
It's a beautiful, sunny spring morning when Nino decides to pester Sho with his presence. There's no real reason for him to be at Sho's door, knocking incessantly with one hand as the other holds a paper tray of breakfast. In fact, the whole event is rather out of his way, but Nino woke this morning with the sun in his eyes and a cheery disposition, and that's as much excuse as he needs to visit his superior before breakfast.
Nino finds his timing impeccable, and he grins to himself as a wet-haired and half naked Sho peers around the door as it strains against the latch. "What do you want?" he asks gruffly.
Nino pretends to look offended. "Do I need a reason to drop in on my favorite FBI handler and bring him an apple danish and a grande triple cap with non-fat milk because he should be watching that beer belly that's been creeping up on him lately?"
Sho blinks at him. "Why are you charming with everyone else but always manage to be so backhanded with me?"
Nino smirks. "Jealous?" Sho rolls his eyes and makes to close the door, but Nino stops it with his foot. "Come on, Sakurai, let me in. As much as I love your housing project of an apartment complex, I would prefer to be sitting on a couch than standing on your doorstep."
"And why should I let a convicted felon wait in my home?"
"Hey, I was never convicted of theft, just fraud." Sho rolls his eyes again. "Besides, you've let me in before."
"Fine, but I know where everything in my house is. Don't even think about it." Nino smirks again and removes his foot. Sho unhooks the latch and opens the door, failing to hide his awkwardness as Nino looks him up and down.
"Maybe I shouldn't be worried about that beer belly," Nino says with a wink, earning a huff of frustration from Sho.
"Stop dawdling, I need to get dressed," Sho grumbles, wrangling Nino inside and closing the door behind him.
"No you don't."
"Don't touch anything," Sho replies, retreating to the bathroom.
Nino doesn't touch anything. He likes to play tricks on Sho, of course, moving things around his office or living room with slight of hand, but it's more fun when done right under Sho's nose. And if he were going to steal something, it certainly wouldn't be from Sho's apartment; he doesn't own anything worth more than his television set, and even that's a few years old. So Nino waits quietly in the living room, passing the time by flicking through magazines and leafing through Sho's mail.
"That coffee better not be cold," Sho says, straightening his tie as he finally enters the living room. "If it is, you're buying me a new one." Nino shrugs from his spot on the couch - he'd ordered it extra hot anyway. Sho takes a sip and looks impressed, but doesn't say anything. "Now, why are you at my apartment at seven-thirty in the morning? Was there something particularly urgent you had to tell me? Confessing to any crimes?"
"Not this morning," Nino replies, standing and handing Sho the bag of apple danish. "But Mabo's car is in the shop so he's on his motorcycle and I had no way to get to the office, so I thought I'd hitch a ride with you."
Sho furrows his brow. "It would have been easier for you to catch the subway."
Nino wrinkles his nose. "The subway? Really Sho? I haven't used public transport since I was a teenager, and I don't intend to revert now."
Sho looks unimpressed. "Just for that I should make you get a cab."
"Cabs are worse and you know it. I'd rather steal a car." Sho fixes him with a look that says 'don't you dare'. It's Nino's turn to roll his eyes. "Figure of speech."
---
As soon as they arrive at headquarters, Agent Nakai gives Sho the two-fingered point. Nino puts a hand on Sho's shoulder. "Just remember: you didn't do anything wrong." Sho glares at him, but moves quickly to Nakai's office.
Without Sho to tease, Nino moves on to the other agents on the white collar team. He takes a seat in front of Agent Nishikido's desk and smiles pleasantly. "Morning, Nishki," he says. If Nishikido was to be described in one phrase, it would be 'silent but deadly', and Nino knows his capabilities well. He was on the team with Sakurai dedicated to catching Nino. None of that scares Nino, of course, and he smiles wider as Nishikido frowns at the nickname.
"Any cases today?" Nino prods, flicking his eyes over the paperwork covering Nishikido's desk. It's paperwork for the last case they wrapped, and he can tell that in a glance, but that doesn't stop him asking.
"Not yet," Nishikido says without looking up.
"Nakai's been on the phone since morning; something important because he's had his blinds closed. Pretty sure Sakurai's getting a briefing right now," Kato pipes up from the desk behind Nishikido. The final member of the white collar crimes division, Kato isn't known for being a gossip, but he always trusted Nino more easily than the others.
"Should be interesting, then," Nino replies, pulling a paperback copy of Breakfast At Tiffany's from his jacket pocket and kicking his feet up onto Nishikido's desk.
The meeting doesn't take long, and even Nishikido looks up when he hears Nakai's door close. "You three," Sakurai calls across the room, "in my office, now."
Nino stands first, putting his book away, watching the slight lift to Sakurai's shoulders; there's tension there and it looks like anger. Nino doesn't really like Sho when he's angry, so he lags behind and lets Nishikido and Kato go first. He misses out on a seat in Sho's office, but he would prefer to stand if there's going to be yelling.
"What is it, Sakurai?" Nishikido asks first.
"Kitagawa's daughter has had a break-in. Nothing was stolen or damaged, but she's reported it anyway. Now, you know the only person who could talk back to Kitagawa is Nakai, but he couldn't make him see reason," Sho says, looking as though each word causes him physical pain.
The idea of a break-in without any evidence intrigues Nino, and he casts his mind back to some of his finer breaking-and-entering work, but it does make him wonder,
"Why are we on it?" Kato asks before Nino can say anything.
"And what do you need me for?" Nino adds. "I can help tell you how they might have gotten in, but I think even you guys can work that one out on your own."
The questions raise Sho's shoulders a hair higher and he closes his eyes. "I know, I know. But the only thing she can think of is that she owns an incredibly expensive piece of art. And before you ask, Ninomiya, no, I don't know anything about it. It's Dutch. Worth quite a bit. Anyway, she thinks the painting might have had something to do with it, even though it wasn't touched."
Nishikido folds his arms across his chest. "Well that's about the weirdest briefing you've ever given us, boss."
Sho throws up his hands and glances at the ceiling. "I know. I know. At least it's not taking resources from anything else. So, Nino and I will talk to the daughter; maybe see which of us can work out how this ghost got into her apartment first. If it even happened. Kato, find anyone you think might be relevant - doormen, ex-boyfriends, ex-friends, anyone who might have had a key. But stay away from family for now. Nishikido.... Finish up your paperwork from the Toppo case. Hopefully by the time you're done we won't be on this joke of a case anymore."
---
"Miss Fujishima, can you walk us through your experience last night?" Sho asks, his pen and paper poised, and that's how Nino knows he doesn't care. Sho doesn't usually write anything down, just keeps it in his memory; writing it down means he can throw it away.
"Please, call me July," the young lady says, voice soft as she gestures for them to sit. The decor has a minimalist feel to it, everything in black and white and shades of brown, but over the fireplace hangs the impressive seventeenth century painting. It caught Nino's eye as soon as they entered; not his style, but he could easily name ten people who would want to steal it.
"I had just come home from dinner. The girls and I had gone to this Ethiopian restaurant after yoga, and when I came home, I knew something was wrong." Sho scribbles in his notebook, and Nino peers over his shoulder and smirks. He's not even writing words.
"How did you know?" Sho asks, obviously frustrated, but Nino puts a hand over Sho's notebook and leans forward.
"July," he says, smiling warmly. "Please excuse my partner, he's a little rough around the edges. But you can imagine how difficult it must be for us to understand, when there hasn't been any damage done."
July nods, her dyed hair escaping from its masterfully unkempt ponytail. "Of course. I know it all sounds a bit ridiculous," Sho tries valiantly not to clear his throat too loudly, "but I just knew. It was a feeling. As far as I can tell, nothing in the apartment was disturbed, but I felt a presence. I don't know if they were still here when I got home, but I knew someone had been here."
"Just this room, or the whole house?" Nino asks, as Sho seems to have stepped out of the conversation.
"Just this room."
"Do you mind if we have a look around?" Nino can see the look Sho gives him out of the corner of his eye - it says 'you must be insane' - but ignores it.
"Of course not," July says, standing. "I'll make you some tea. Feel free to look at anything you need to."
"Thank you," Nino says with his most charming smile, standing as well. Sho remains seated and gives July a curt smile as she leaves.
"What are you looking for?" Sho groans, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples.
"Evidence," Nino replies, staring intently at the floor. "Like this indent in the carpet." He steps closer to the painting and the mantelpiece, looking first at all the photographs and then behind them. "Or this piece of short black hair behind the photographs." He turns back to Sho, who now has one eye opened in mild interest, and then goes to the door from the hallway, inspecting the lock. "Or the very small scratches in the paint near the lock." He looks behind the handle, and decides to keep the smudge of black nail polish to himself.
"All of those things can be explained," Sho replies, still sounding bored but at least awake. "The indent could be from anything she owns, the hair could be a boyfriend's, and the scratches in the paint could just be from everyday use. This is an old house, even if it's been gussied up."
Nino shrugs. "You could be right," he says, but he doesn't think so.
July returns, then, with a tray of teacups and a teapot. "Did you find anything?" She asks as she pours their tea.
"No," Sho says at the same time as Nino says "yes". Sho glares at Nino, but Nino ignores him and smiles at July. "It could be something, it could be nothing. I just have one question for you. Did you smell anything in the room? Aftershave or cologne or anything like that?"
July hands him a cup of tea and bites on her lower lip, considering it. Nino sits as he waits for the memory to return to her, and looks over at Sho, who still clearly thinks he's insane, but at least realizes he's running with an idea. "Well, now that you mention it," July finally says, "it did smell faintly salty. Maybe a hint of Gucci For Men. My boss wears it and it stinks up his office." She realizes what she's implied, and her eyes widen. "Not that I think it was him! He doesn't even remember my name, I doubt he knows about the painting."
"Of course not," Nino replies with a private smirk. "Thank you so much July, I think we have everything we need." Nino stands, leaving his tea on the table. July and Sho follow quickly, the latter giving him a confused look. "We appreciate your cooperation. We'll be in touch."
Sho clears his throat and fixes his tie, reasserting his position as the only person in the room qualified to make an investigation. "Thank you, Miss Fujishima." He produces a business card and hands it to her. "If you think of anything else, don't hesitate to call."
July smiles at the both of them. "Thank you."
Back at the car, Sho doesn't unlock it before asking Nino a few questions of his own. "So, what do you think you've found?"
Nino just shrugs, though it's written all over his face. "I have to consult with a friend to confirm some suspicions before I can report back."
"Aiba?" Sho asks, doubt clear in his voice.
"Hey, he's a genius." The look on Sho's face doesn't exactly agree. "Well, you haven't caught him yet, have you?"
"I wasn't aware he'd done anything illegal," Sho counters, raising his eyebrows.
"Exactly."
---
Mabo isn't at home during the afternoons, which Nino is generally thankful for, because that's when Aiba is more likely to be there. Aiba can be a handful enough for someone who knows him inside out, so Nino tries to spare Mabo the trouble. This afternoon, Aiba is in Nino's attic apartment, sprawled out on the couch with a glass of white wine and a book on eighteenth century watch mechanics.
"You're home!" Aiba says excitedly, resting his book on his chest and grinning up at Nino.
"Why do you choose to afternoon-drink where I live? There are hundreds of bars in this city, and all of them have the same shitty cleanskin white you buy at the store." Nino pretends to be annoyed, because that's part of how he puts up with Aiba, but Aiba just ignores him, which Nino has always assumed is how Aiba puts up with him.
"Did you have fun at Zero's today?" Aiba has called Sho 'Zero' since before either of them knew his real name. All that Aiba and Nino knew at the time was that the FBI agent tracking Nino was coming up with nothing every time he looked, and the nickname 'Zero' stuck.
Nino takes the glass of wine from Aiba's hand. "I think Jun's in town," he says, taking a sip. The wine is terrible, as expected, and he makes a face as he hands it back. Aiba sits up, abandoning the book, and his grin widens.
"Jun? What's he up to now? Did he finally get his hands on the mayor's bottle of Chateau Lafite?" He asks, making room for Nino to sit. Nino declines, instead moving to the kitchen portion of the room to find a bottle of Grange to open. Aiba follows, sitting at the kitchen table.
"No, he's here for a de Vlieger. He didn't steal it, though," Nino replies, pouring himself a glass. He speaks slower as the story begins to fall apart. "I think he just went to look at it. Why, I don't know. He's a thief, not a forger. Well, there was that one time, with that horrific Baudelaire first edition, but anyone can find a typewriter and age some paper."
Aiba smiles and clinks his glass against Nino's, reminding Nino to take a sip. "Maybe it was Ohno Satoshi."
Nino rolls his eyes and sits down at the head of the table adjacent to Aiba. "Just once I wish you would give me a normal answer."
"I'm serious! They say Ohno can recreate a painting entirely from memory," Aiba says, punctuating his statement with a wave of his glass. Nino wonders how many Aiba has already had.
"Aiba, I'm not chasing some mythical con artist, I'm just looking for Jun."
"Ohno Satoshi isn't a myth. I know people who have met him! He lives on a boat in Mississauga, and sometimes disappears for months on fishing expeditions. He's also painted some of the best forgeries in history." Aiba has been Nino's friend for years - many more than Nino would prefer to recount - but most of the time, Nino doesn't understand how the man operates. He lives somewhere outside the realm of reality, where airheaded aerospace engineers drop out of university to become slippery criminal masterminds. Only Aiba could make the myth of the glancing art forger seem like a reasonable answer.
Nino realizes he's been staring at Aiba too late. Aiba giggles and reaches forward to tousle Nino's hair. "Don't daydream about Jun too much. It's unbecoming."
"I wasn't daydreaming, I was perfecting my plot to destroy you in your sleep," Nino deadpans, swatting Aiba's hand away and fixing his hair. Aiba giggles again, which is everyone's downfall; even Nino can't hide a smile.
"Well, tell Zero about Ohno Satoshi. He might like the idea."
Nino scoffs. "Sho already thinks this whole case is a complete sham. Just because the victim is the head of the FBI's daughter and has a bit more of the spiritual than logical about her, he thinks it's a waste of time and resources."
Aiba shrugs and drains his glass. "Maybe he's right. Maybe there is no Ohno Satoshi. Maybe Jun's not even involved."
"No, I'm sure about Jun," Nino says, taking a sip of his own wine and then handing it to Aiba. "Ask around, will you? See if anyone's seen Jun."
"I'll start at The Eight!" Aiba says enthusiastically, raising his glass. Nino rolls his eyes and doesn't expect to see Aiba for another day or two. He'll be working off the hangover from The Eight's fake alcohol for a while.
"Say hi to Mac for me," Nino says, picking up his keys and heading back out.
---
Kato knocks before he enters Sakurai's office, because Sakurai has spent the last hour with his back to the glass door, staring out the window (or sleeping, which was where Nishikido put his five dollars). Sho turns slowly, looking bored and uninspired but not recently woken. Kato silently celebrates his five-dollar victory and enters the office, putting a file in front of Sakurai.
"Here's the information you asked for," he says. He's not sure whether to sit or not so he just hovers, folding his hands behind his back. "I couldn't find anyone suspicious on paper, so I called around to the neighbors and asked if they saw anyone. They didn't. I talked to her friends; nobody thought Miss Fujishima was acting strange. There's just... nothing."
Sho flicks through the papers in the file, pretending to glance them over, but he doesn't bother taking anything in. He looks up at Kato, closing the file. "Thank you, Agent Kato."
Kato nods, and hovers a moment longer, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "Uh, sir. I was just wondering. Nishikido has finished the Toppo paperwork, and I've done as much follow-up on this as I can. Could we possibly take the rest of the day...?"
"Go," Sho says, waving towards the door. Everyone knows about them - it's the way that Nishikido constantly harasses Kato that gives them away - and Sho isn't completely heartless. "Have a beer. Nino's on his way back, but unless he's overturned a serious rock, I doubt we'll have anything to do."
Kato tries not to grin but doesn't quite manage it. "Thank you, sir. Keep us informed, and don't hesitate to -"
"Go, Kato," Sho interrupts. Kato tries too hard sometimes. "Enjoy yourselves."
It's not long before Nino shows up, breezing through Sho's office door even though Sho has turned his back again, and makes himself comfortable in a chair across from Sho's desk. "I come bearing news."
Sho turns slowly to face Nino, leveling him with the same skeptical gaze as he had at July's apartment. "Really? You found our ghost?"
Nino waves his hand dismissively. "I didn't find him, but I know who he is. Matsumoto Jun."
"The Baudelaire forger?"
Nino almost laughs, but cuts it back to a grin. "I love that he is known for his worst work to date. No, Matsumoto Jun usually steals things. He has a few fences you might have heard of - Ikuta Toma or Oguri Shun? He works fast, and usually in Europe. Italy is his favorite, but only because he's known to the French police."
Sho blinks and makes mental note of all the details Nino gave him - and those he didn't. "What part of that information makes you think that Matsumoto is here, then? The painting isn't stolen, and at least one of his fences is behind bars for identity theft."
"Oh, they finally got Shun? That's too bad. The man's a chameleon."
"Ninomiya," Sho warns. Getting Nino back on point is a difficult task even when there are concrete things to focus on; Nino's hard-wired to divert from the topic at hand.
"I know it's Jun because of a couple of details at July's: there was black nail polish on the door by the handle - an unfortunate habit of fashion that went out of date more than a decade ago - and the cologne. As for why he was there and didn't take the painting, I'm not sure. Maybe he was caught in the act, maybe he just wanted to scout the place...."
"I'm sensing another 'maybe'," Sho says, even though he still doesn't believe Nino's assessment of the so-called evidence from the apartment.
Nino pauses. "Just a ridiculous theory brought to me by an associate," he says, sounding unconvinced.
"What crazy idea did Aiba bring you this time?" Sho asks. Last time it was something about UFOs, but the time before that it really had been termites in the dollhouse safe, so Sho couldn't always afford to dismiss Aiba's theories.
"Ohno Satoshi," Nino says simply, waiting for recognition.
"The forge-from-memory guy? I thought he was just a con man's campfire story."
Nino smiles, appreciating for a moment the way Sho has made white collar crimes his life. Sometimes he seems to know more than those in the trade with all the information he has stuffed in his head. "I guess it wouldn't be a ridiculous theory if anyone had ever seen Ohno Satoshi. He's just an urban legend as far as I know, but Aiba's had weirder theories."
Sho tilts his head in consideration. "True. But until we have something solid on either Matsumoto Jun or Ohno Satoshi, we can't do anything. Find me something and I'll think about investigating."
"Challenge accepted."
---
Aiba is back at Nino's apartment when he returns that evening, and the only way Nino can tell that he went to The Eight is the horrific stench of stale alcohol emanating from his body. This doesn't necessarily mean that Aiba was drinking, but the fact that Aiba is passed out on the floor certainly suggests that it's not just the atmosphere he soaked up.
Nino kicks Aiba's sleeping form, eliciting a groan as Aiba returns to consciousness. "What time is it?" he asks, curling onto his side around the leg of Nino's table.
"What does it matter?" Nino replies, filling a glass with water and bringing it to Aiba. "It's not like you have regular sleeping habits anyway." He remains crouched on the floor, waiting for Aiba to pull himself up enough to take a sip of water.
"Touche," Aiba says, wobbling slightly as he leans to take a sip. It doesn't quite work, so he sways back in the other direction, looking at Nino and holding onto the ground. "Oh, hey, I found Jun."
Nino raised his eyebrows. "You saw him? You talked to him? Please don't tell me you talked to him."
Aiba grins. "Jealous?" Nino levels a glare at him and Aiba laughs carefully, low and in the back of his throat. "No, I didn't speak to him. Or see him. But Ace told me he's staying at some serviced apartment on East 38th. He's banging the maid and saw Jun when he went to visit her." Aiba manages to steady himself enough to take a sip of water, at which point Nino moves to take a seat at the kitchen table. Aiba remains on the floor.
"East 38th," Nino muses, sifting through a stack of papers and books on the table. At the bottom of the pile is a map of the city, a two-mile circle drawn out from FBI headquarters. "We're in luck. Don't suppose Ace knows what room Jun's staying in?"
Aiba groans, though Nino can't tell if it's from stretching his legs or his memory. "Uh, 601. Or 106. Wait." He pushes his hand into his pocket for his phone, and Nino watches, amused, as the tries to unlock it and find the note he must have saved, all with his left hand. "Huh. 307. Go figure. Oh, wait, it's because six divided by two and one plus -"
"Thank you, Aiba," Nino interrupts as he puts the map away and picks up his lock picking case. "Try to be a little less hung over when I get back."
Aiba attempts a salute but ends up dropping his phone in the glass of water. Nino laughs, and Aiba just shrugs. "It was time for a new number."
---
Picking the lock proves to be the hardest part of getting into Jun's serviced apartment. There's a doorman who is easily distracted by a well-endowed girl passing, and an elevator attendant who looks as though he's been asleep or drunk (or both) since the seventies. Getting past them is child's play, so that the half-assed lock on Jun's apartment door - while easy - is the only feat Nino has to pull off.
He almost feels let down by the time he enters the apartment and starts to look around, a feeling compounded as he can tell that Jun isn't hiding anything here. The only things of note in the apartment are his books - all fiction, none involving crime - and his sparse collection of classical music CDs. Even those bore Nino, so he plucks To Kill A Mockingbird off the shelf and settles on the couch to wait for the elusive Matsumoto Jun.
Eventually, the lock clicks open - Nino smirks at the confidence with which it is maneuvered; clearly Jun didn't notice the breach - and Jun pushes through the door. He stops short when he sees Nino lounging on the couch, but doesn't look surprised.
"Ninomiya," he says without inflection. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
Nino tosses the book on the coffee table and stands. "Just checking in on an old friend, Jun, that's all," he replies, stepping around the coffee table and approaching the other man. Jun isn't carrying anything, but there are two extra keys on his key ring - after the apartment door and a hire car.
Jun doesn't look impressed. "Friend? After you left me stranded in Strasbourg, you really think we're friends?"
Nino waves a hand. "That was years ago. Water under the bridge."
"You weren't the one that got pinched and went to jail."
"No, but you were only there for a little while. Nice work on the escape, by the way."
"It wasn't exactly high security. Not like you; I heard your escape was nothing short of a miracle." Jun folds his arms and shifts his weight to one foot.
"You know me, slippery as they come."
"Yes, well. I also hear you're working for the feds." Jun narrows his eyes and his voice takes on an icy edge.
"Only on and off," Nino replies. "Besides, I have a nice piece of jewelry to go with it." He tugs up the leg of his pants and points his toe.
"How vogue," Jun remarks blithely. "But it does make me wonder as to any other accessories you might have on you."
"I didn't realize you still used the 'let me check if you're wearing a bug' line." Nino smirks and moves to unbutton his shirt.
Jun unfolds his arms and slaps Nino's hands to stop him undressing. "Shut up." Nino can see a faint flush at the neck of Jun's shirt, but he keeps it to himself. "Why are you here, Nino?"
"I know you were in July Fujishima's apartment last night, staring at her de Vlieger." Jun flinches and quickly schools his expression, but Nino still notices. "There's nothing for the feds to get you on - unless I show them the hair I found on the mantelpiece, of course - but honestly, I just wanted to come and ask why you didn't steal it. It's a gorgeous piece; you could probably fence it for a good six digits. And I know you're smart enough not to get caught without enough time. I just want to know why you were there and didn't take advantage." Jun's expression doesn't waver as Nino speaks, but that only means he must have something to hide.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Ninomiya."
"It's just that there was a dent in the carpet, and I couldn't help but wonder if you had a stand to take photos. Though, I don't know what good photos would do you if you hadn't stolen it. I did think you might have taken Ohno Satoshi to see it, but again, if you weren't stealing it, and the location of the original is known, why saturate the market with fakes?"
"You do realize that Ohno Satoshi doesn't actually exist," Jun says, but there's something in his tone that doesn't convince Nino at all.
"It would make a great story if he did."
Jun rolls his eyes. "If that's all, Ninomiya, I think you'd better go," he says, putting a hand on Nino's shoulder and pressing him towards the door.
"Oh, come on," Nino cajoles. "What about hypotheticals? Why would someone break in just stare at a de Vlieger?"
Jun opens the door and holds his hand out expectantly. "Because it's a beautiful painting? I'm sorry, but you'll have to find someone else to brainstorm with, Ninomiya."
Nino looks at Jun for a moment, making note of the chipped black nail polish on his thumb and the light sweat at his hairline. "Well, thank you for your time, Matsumoto" he says, stepping out of the apartment. The door closes and locks before he can say goodbye, and Nino turns to look at the brass numbers on the door. "Methinks the lady doth protest too much."
---
When Nino returns to his apartment, Aiba is still there, asleep on the floor. Nino doesn't bother trying to wake him this time - as long as there isn't vomit, he doesn't mind how Aiba arranges himself for the night. By the time Nino wakes, though, Aiba has migrated to the couch, and Nino makes an exceptionally strong Italian brew to waft under his nose.
"Delicious," Aiba mumbles, before his eyes even open. He rustles and reaches out in the direction of the coffee, but Nino pulls it back until he opens his eyes. "Come on, Nino, I can drink with my eyes closed."
Nino snorts and waits for Aiba to pull himself upright before handing him the mug. "My cashmere throw tells a different story."
Aiba doesn't argue, just holds the mug under his nose and breathes deeply. He looks considerably more awake when he looks up at Nino. "Did you find Jun last night?" he asks, taking a sip of the coffee.
"Yeah," Nino says, and waits for the blissful look to fade from Aiba's features. "He knows I'm working for the feds, so he didn't say much, but I'm even more sure he's up to something now. He had two extra keys, so he's hiding something somewhere."
Aiba nods and takes another sip before saying anything. "Do you want me to tail him?"
Nino looks skeptical. "The last time you tailed a mark for me he ended up at the hospital."
"That wasn't my fault!"
"You ran over his foot."
"With a unicycle!"
Nino sighs. "Okay, okay. As long as there aren't any unicycles involved. Just... follow him in a car or on foot. No cycles of any description."
"Okay," Aiba agrees grudgingly. "You going to tell Zero you met up with him?"
"He'll have tracked my anklet, so I may as well."
"He's gonna yell at you," Aiba sings into his cup before he takes a larger mouthful of coffee.
Nino smirks. "He's not that scary when he yells. He just sort of turns red, and there's this big vein on his temple that starts throbbing."
Aiba giggles. "Have a good day at the big house, then." Nino tries to decide whether or not Aiba is deliberately mixing metaphors, but realizes it doesn't really matter.
"Get going soon. Don't want to miss Jun-pon leaving his apartment."
---
Nino sees the tiny motion from Nishikido that indicates he's a dead man as soon as he walks in the door of headquarters, but before he can turn around to leave, Sho's voice rings across the office. "Ninomiya," he says, and when Nino looks up he can see blotches of red already forming on Sho's neck. "My office, now."
When Nino makes it to the office - after throwing Nishikido a look that hopefully says 'next time, text me before I am about to be murdered' - Sho doesn't even wait for Nino to sit down before starting his rant. "You went to see Matsumoto Jun last night, didn't you? You do realize that when I said to find me something I didn't mean to do so by sabotaging what little of a case we might have."
"I just went for a stroll," Nino replies, because he'd at least like to poke the bear before it tears him up.
"A stro- Ninomiya, I know you saw him. You sat in one spot in a residential block for an hour. How dense do you think I am?"
Nino grins. "Do you really want me to answer that?" Sho's face turns an interesting shade of red, so Nino sits forward and puts both hands on Sho's desk. "Hey, okay. Yes, I went to see him. But there was nothing there; it's just where he sleeps. And he knows I'm with you, so he didn't tell me anything. But I put a tail on him today, so I'll find whatever he's hiding."
The redness in Sho's face dissipates slowly and he sighs. "So did I. Gave Kato the photo on file with the French."
Nino smiles. Aiba might not be as good at surveillance as Kato, but he knows Jun better. "We'll see which tail Jun shakes first, then."
---
That evening, Nino is sitting with Mabo and his dog in the downstairs living room, watching some terrible action movie on Mabo's wide-screen television. Nino likes Mabo for many reasons: mostly because he's giving him a place to stay for free, but also because he doesn't ask any questions. Mabo knows he can forge signatures and has an eye for detail, but he probably thinks Nino's a lawyer with the way he knows how to get around the law. Other than that, he doesn't know and doesn't ask.
Nino gets a text message from Sho at the beginning of the movie that says, "Defeated. Let's hope Aiba didn't bring his unicycle." About halfway through, he gets a text message from an unknown number that says, "SOS party on dock 10/2! Bring all your friends!", which first of all means that Aiba has replaced his phone. Other than that, it could mean that the hiding place is either on dock ten and there are two people, or it's at dock five. He has no idea what the SOS part means, and hopes it doesn't mean he was caught. He excuses himself from the movie to call Aiba.
"Get back here, I have no idea what you're talking about."
Aiba giggles, which at least means he wasn't caught. "Meet me at the fay-du-ca," he says and hangs up.
Nino groans, but at least he can understand Aiba's modified pig Latin. He says a brief goodbye to Mabo before heading to the cafe around the corner. Nino hates the cafe - the coffee manages to be bitter and sweet at the same time, and the sandwiches are limp and tasteless - but the upside is that everyone else hates it too. It's quiet, and the old man who mans the espresso machine is half deaf, so Nino doesn't mind meeting Aiba there on business.
"So what does SOS mean, if not 'Save Our Souls'?" Nino asks as he sits down across from Aiba.
"Saw Ohno Satoshi," Aiba says, as though it should have been obvious.
Nino furrows his brow. "If nobody has ever seen Ohno Satoshi, how do you know it was him?"
Aiba rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his soda - the only safe thing to order at the cafe. "Because Jun kept calling him 'Ohno'. He never was very good at code names, was he?"
"How close were you?" Nino asks, starting to panic a little. If Jun saw Aiba, he would likely move hideouts and they'd be back at square one. And then Sho really would yell at him.
"Oh, I just read his lips. I was in the car looking through my telescope. Well, yours. The one you use for looking at stars. I could see all the way inside a window."
To anyone else, Aiba's story would sound fabricated not only in content but also delivery, with the conspicuous lack of details and flippant waving of his hand. But Nino has known Aiba long enough to not only know when he's lying but also to trust that any crazy thing he says he's done is likely true. He's a genius wrapped in an idiot.
Nino shrugs it off and takes Aiba's can of soda. "Did you see anything else?"
"I'm not that familiar with de Vlieger's work, but there was a lovely marinescape of a peaceful shoreline in twilight with a few sailboats in the distance... is that the one July has?"
Nino nods and hands back the soda. "That describes most of de Vlieger's works, but yes. It's the same. Don't suppose you took your camera with you?"
Aiba grins and produces a memory stick. "The photos are geo-tagged. Will you give it to Zero?"
Nino shrugs and takes the memory stick. "Not yet. I want to meet this Ohno Satoshi, and I would prefer if he wasn't behind bars at the time."
---
"So you say that Aiba found Matsumoto and this Ohno fellow," Sho says the next day when Nino calls everyone into the conference room for a briefing.
Nino nods. "Nothing against you, Kato, but the man's a ninja."
Kato looks at Nino in disbelief. "The last time you sent him on surveillance he cosplayed as Sailor Moon."
"Sailor Venus," Nino corrects him, "but as you'll recall he still got the information." Kato frowns, and Nino allows himself a smirk before continuing. "But to answer your question, Sho, yes. I have the coordinates for you if you'd like them."
"Did Aiba happen to get anything useful that we can pin on Matsumoto?"
"He saw the painting in the warehouse, and the two men inside. What more do you want?" Nino asks, though he knows the answer before he hears it.
"Intent. Proof. Something more than a con man's word. Not that he'd even testify." Sho says, and Nino can hear the frustrated sigh in his voice.
"Why don't you send me out? I know you can't get in there without probable cause, but I'm not FBI. Let me go get it for you," Nino says reasonably, though he can feel Sho's eyes bore through him.
"I don't suppose this secret warehouse hideout is outside your radius?" Nino gives his most winning smile and Nishikido snorts. "Matsumoto knows you're working for us. He won't give up anything."
"I'll go when Jun isn't there."
"What if Ohno Satoshi is there?" Kato asks. "Won't he be suspicious?"
Nino smiles again. "I'm a con artist, Shige. It won't be a problem."
Sho is still inspecting Nino, trying to work out his ulterior motives. "I'll go with you. I'll let you off the leash but we'll be watching you."
Nino shrugs. "Fine. As long as nobody sees you."
"I could get Aiba to take me," Sho suggests, as he often does. He's only spoken to Aiba once, and it was enough of a disaster for Nino to make sure it never happens again.
"I was on a stakeout with Aiba once," Nino replies in a roundabout sort of way. "He spent the entire time talking about the relative benefits of lemons and limes in a variety of mixed drinks. His treatise on limes in gin and tonic was a particular highlight, but it went downhill when he started discussing Long Island Iced Tea."
Nino can see Sho's internal battle play out on his face. "Fine. I won't take Aiba. But you're wearing a wire in case Ohno Satoshi knows anything."
Nino knows how to pick his battles, and this is not something he can be bothered to fight. Besides, if he's right about Ohno Satoshi, it won't matter if he wears a bug. He shrugs, appearing to concede graciously. "I accept your terms. Tonight? Pick me up at eight."
---
Sho knocks on Nino's door promptly at eight, just as Nino is finishing tying his tie. "Come in," he calls, adjusting the knot in his mirror. Sho enters the room with the same look of mild annoyance he has every time he comes to Nino's apartment; it reminds him of how easily Nino found a way around his FBI-assigned housing.
"Would you like a drink?" Nino asks, picking up his glass of pinot noir and taking a sip.
Sho takes the glass from Nino's hand and puts it back on the table. "We're on the job, Ninomiya."
Nino picks up the glass again. "No, you are on the job, Sho. I'm working in a non-official capacity this evening. Besides, I do some of my best work after a glass of good wine."
Sho rolls his eyes and motions to the door. "You're the one who said eight. Let's go."
"What about my bug?" Nino asks, mostly because he doesn't relish redoing his tie in Sho's car. Sho always complains when he moves the rear-view mirror.
Sho pulls a small case from his jacket pocket and hands it to Nino. "You can stick it under your shirt if you like, but too many layers of material distorts the sound. I'd put it on the underside of your lapel."
Nino smirks and opens the case. "You just don't want me to take my shirt off because it embarrasses you," he says, pulling out the bug. Sho doesn't say anything, but his suddenly red ears don't lie. Nino puts the glass of wine down and picks up his jacket, shrugging it on. "Wouldn't want to embarrass you," he says, sticking the device under his lapel as suggested.
Sho frowns slightly and motions towards the door. "Come on, it's past eight."
Nino smiles and picks up his glass again. "No rush," he says, swirling the last of his wine with the smallest of movements. "We don't even know if Jun has left for the day yet."
Sho doesn't do anything for a moment, just stares intently at Nino, and it's a moment like this that makes Nino wonder what the purpose of those looks are. He hasn't worked it out yet - though he and Aiba have a running list of possibilities - and it bothers him more than he would ever admit. But as always, before the moment lingers too long, Sho takes a step back, breaking eye contact. "Come on," he says again, moving to open the door. "We're leaving."
Nino takes a deep breath in, snapping himself out of the moment and puts his glass down for the last time. "One last thing," he says, putting his foot on a chair and lifting his pant leg to reveal his anklet. "If you don't mind."
Nino can see Sho grit his teeth, but he pulls his keys out anyway, unlocking the anklet and moving back to the door as quickly as possible. "There. Can we go now, please?" he says, pocketing the keys and the anklet.
Nino smiles. "After you," he says, a slight bow.
"No, I insist. After you," Sho says, bowing right back at him. Nino smirks a little and sets out first. He would miss these games if he ever did have reason to run.
---
By the time they get there, Aiba has already sent a text confirming that Jun is back at his apartment. Sho looks dubious as Nino checks his bug. "If you do anything stupid, I'll come in there and shoot you myself."
"You're too kind," Nino replies with a smile, leaving the car without waiting for a response. He's fairly sure there aren't any security cameras around the site - he would have seen equipment or evidence of it at the apartment - so he casually strolls up to the warehouse and pulls the door open.
Inside is dim but not dark, the entire space filled with incandescent light, and he can hear the faint sound of music - Wagner, if his ears aren't deceiving him. He's already a little bit in love with Ohno, and his affections are only confirmed when he sees the wine bottles - some empty, some halfway there - scattered across the workspace. Nino slides the door shut behind him, and that's when a figure appears, first as a silhouette and then bathed in warm orange-yellow light in middle of the room.
The man blinks. "Hello," he says simply. Nino smiles to himself; he had this man pegged exactly.
"Hello," Nino replies. "My name's Ninomiya; I'm a friend of Jun's. You must be Ohno Satoshi." He speaks relatively quickly, not giving the other man enough time to think about what he's saying, and approaches with an extended hand. Ohno looks at him for a moment, his hair and his nose, his extended hand and then his shoes. Then he looks back at Nino's eyes, switching his paintbrush into his left hand and taking Nino's with his right.
"Nice to meet you, Ninomiya," he says, shaking his hand once before returning his paintbrush to its rightful hand. "I didn't know Jun had any friends."
Nino can't help but laugh a little. "He's not the type, is he?"
"He reminds me of a lone wolf," Ohno says, and there's something in the way he speaks - not exactly clearly, but with feeling - that makes Nino see exactly that. Nino smiles again, and hopes the stars aren't showing in his eyes.
"I'm his fence on this particular job," Nino clarifies, mentally shaking himself out. "Just wanted to check the merchandise."
Ohno blinks again and gestures towards the easel behind Nino. "I've got to touch it up a bit, but it's nearly done."
Nino turns to look at the painting and nearly stumbles. From a distance of less than fifteen feet, he would swear he's looking at the original. He nearly trips going to look at it closer, but regains his footing and stands from a distance of five feet, then two feet, before finally leaning in six inches from the work. It's a near perfect copy, even with some touching up to do, and Nino doesn't realize he hasn't breathed until he turns back to Ohno.
"You did this from memory?" he asks breathlessly.
Ohno shrugs and nods on an angle. "I had a photo," he says, picking up something from the table beside him and taking it to Nino. It's a photo, but a measly 6x4 photograph of the whole canvas.
Nino looks up at Ohno and feels his knees go weak. "But the detail," he breathes. "I've seen this painting before. Up close." He remembers himself and shakes his head. "Years ago, before it went into a private collection. I... this is incredible. I mean, the stroke work alone.... Surely you've studied de Vlieger?"
Ohno shrugs again. "I saw one of his etchings once. Oh, and his Arrival of William of Orange, at a museum, years ago. I think that's what it was called."
Nino's mind reels. "That's... that's impossible." He's aware he sounds like a star-struck child, but he doesn't care. He is, however, thankful that Sho doesn't have a voice in his ear at the moment.
Ohno smiles, and Nino's knees threaten to turn to jelly again. "I know, right?" he says, without a hint of arrogance. "But there are those people who can listen to a piece of music once and know it back to front. I guess I'm like that with paintings."
Nino can't decide whether he wants to hit him, steal him, or kiss him. It's very confusing. Before he makes a choice, his phone notifies him of a text message. "Excuse me," he says and pulls out his phone. A message from Sho says, "Stop flirting and get me something concrete". He doesn't bother replying and turns his phone on silent before putting it away. "Just an ex," he lies. "So clingy. I should really change my number."
"Been there," Ohno commiserates with a smile. "That's why I live on a boat. If the crazies come looking for me, I just sail off."
Nino is a little shocked that Aiba actually got something right about Ohno - apart from the fact that he existed - but manages to turn back to the painting without skipping a beat. "Well, this is absolutely amazing. You could fool anyone with it."
"That's the idea," Ohno says, moving to stand next to Nino, inspecting the painting up close.
Nino is mesmerized for a moment as Ohno reaches blindly for a palette and starts dabbing his paintbrush in the perfectly mixed paint. He watches as Ohno's hand darts out and instantly smoothes over an earlier stroke. His phone vibrates in his pocket and reminds him of the task at hand, even though he doesn't check what it says.
"So," Nino says quietly, not wanting to disturb the master at work. Ohno doesn't look disturbed, though, and turns back to Nino. "Do you know much about the mark?"
Ohno shakes his head. "I don't know anything. I mean, obviously I'm forging a Baroque Dutch master, but that's all I know. I don't even know who owns the original."
Nino's not really surprised, but he can already hear Sho lamenting over a pointless exercise. "Probably for the best," he says with a smile.
Before anything more can happen, the door to the warehouse opens again and panic shoots through Nino's veins. He knows it isn't Sho, because there's no proof of anything illegal, which only leaves one person.
"Jun," Ohno says with a smile, putting down his palette and paintbrush. "Your fence came to visit. Who's that?" Nino isn't surprised to turn around and see Jun holding Aiba by the neck of his t-shirt.
"This," Jun says through his teeth, "is someone I should have shot the moment I saw him."
Aiba struggles to defend himself, but Nino interjects. "Did he start talking about pudding again? I swear I could strangle him when he starts in on consistency."
Jun looks as though he's going to explode, but instead throws Aiba to the floor. "I should have known he was with you," he seethes, grabbing a piece of sculpting wire from the table and advancing rapidly.
Ohno steps in front of Nino - quicker than Nino would have expected him to move - and puts a paint-stained hand to Jun's chest. "Don't kill him," he says calmly, somehow taking the murder out of Jun's eyes.
"Give me one good reason," Jun asks, eyes burning into Nino's. "He's working for the FBI. He's probably wearing a wire."
"Really, Jun, your desire for me to take my shirt off is getting out of hand," Nino says, unable to resist the jibe. Jun lunges at him but is caught by Ohno, which Nino still can't quite work out.
"Calm down, Jun," Ohno says, taking the wind out of Jun's sails again. "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation." He turns back to look at Nino. "If you're not Jun's fence, then who are you, Ninomiya?"
Nino looks at Ohno and forgets the question immediately. Then he hears Jun growl and turns back to his potential murderer. "I broke away from them, Jun," he says, holding up his hands first, before slowly moving to tug up his pants leg. "Look, no more anklet. I don't have much time before they get to me, but I wanted to see the painting and meet the man. I could help you fence the copy if you want. It's nearly done."
Ohno nods. "Just a couple more strokes."
Jun struggles against Ohno's arms again, though not with much intent this time. "You idiot," he growls, moving back from Ohno and running a hand through his hair. "I'm not getting rid of the copy. I'm switching it for the original and handing it off to Matchy."
Nino's eyes grow wide. "Masahiko Kondo?" Aiba yelps from the other side of the room. Jun turns his angry gaze onto him but all he does is growl again.
"Yes, but this idiot," he brandishes the sculpting wire at Nino, "has the feds on his tail with no time for me to clean up the place." Jun rubs his eyes and takes a breath. "Okay, alright. Ohno, pack what you need. I'll take the painting. We've got to get out of here." Jun throws the sculpting wire on the ground and moves to find a cover for the painting.
Ohno turns to Nino and shrugs. "Sorry," he says kindly, though Nino still isn't sure why he's being so nice. "I hope they don't put you away for long."
Ohno moves unhurriedly into the back room, and Jun returns with a tarpaulin and some rope. "I suggest you start running, Nino. And do me a favor - run away from me this time, will you?"
But before Nino can reply, the warehouse door bursts open and in streams a swarm of FBI agents, Sho leading the charge. Nino just smirks as Jun breaks into a run, leaving the painting behind. Sho sprints after him, deftly jumping over upturned crates and dodging projectiles, and eventually catches Jun at the back door. "You shouldn't have bothered locking it," he says, pinning Jun against the door with his shoulder and snapping handcuffs around his wrists.
Sho walks Jun back to the main area of the warehouse just as the other agents bring Ohno out from the back room. Ohno doesn't look particularly perturbed, just a little dazed.
"I'm going to kill you," Jun promises Nino, struggling against Sho's grip on his shoulder.
Nino smiles placidly. "Remember to write," he says. "Prison can be a lonely place."
"Kato," Sho says, nodding at Nino. "Put his anklet back on and stay with him while I get this priss in the paddywagon."
Kato appears from behind the agents with Ohno and does as he's asked. Nino doesn't say anything as Kato snaps the anklet on him, just looks over at Ohno. "Sorry," he says, and means it.
Ohno smiles. "It's okay. I was rooting for you anyway."
Nino wants to ask what he means, but the agents lead him outside before he can form the words. "What a strange man," Kato says, interrupting Nino's thoughts.
"What makes you say that?"
"He knew we were there, but didn't try to run or anything. He just said 'hello', put down his paintbrushes, and held out his wrists for the cuffs." Kato shrugs, and Nino can see a shiver run down his spine.
"Well, you don't have anything on him. I'd be pretty calm, too."
"What do you mean? We have the painting and everything."
Sho returns that moment, clapping a hand on Nino's shoulder so hard he almost jumps out of his skin. "He's right," he says, sounding hurt to admit it. "Making a copy isn't illegal, and we have a tape of him saying he didn't know Matsumoto's plans."
"He could have been lying," Kato points out, but Sho shrugs.
"We have no proof. And he has no priors. Despite his reputation, this is the first time anyone's ever caught Ohno Satoshi anywhere near a crime - attempted or otherwise. I think I can be happy with that."
Nino grins; he loves it when he and Sho agree on something, because it makes him feel as though he's one step closer to corrupting him. "Shall we go out to celebrate, then? I know this wonderful cocktail bar. It's a little out of my radius, but -"
"No," Sho interrupts, steering Nino out of the warehouse. "I am going to bed and to sleep, and you are getting back within your radius and staying there."
Nino's grin disappears. "You really know how to bring a mood down, don't you?"
Kato snorts in laughter, but stops when Sho glares at him. "Oh, hey," he says, changing the subject quickly. "Where did Aiba go?"
Nishikido approaches the three of them as they exit the warehouse. "I had a couple of agents search the perimeter and the inside, but nobody's seen him."
Nino smiles smugly at Kato. "See? Ninja."
"Call them back," Sho says with a shrug. "We don't need Aiba. Though I would like to know how he got caught at Jun's apartment. That's not exactly ninja-like." Sho looks pointedly at Nino, who holds up his hands in innocence.
"All I told him to do was let me know when Jun was back at his apartment."
Sho doesn't look convinced, but lets it go. "I guess it worked out in the end," he says, closing the subject there. "Kato, Nishikido, good work on response time. I'll see you tomorrow morning for paperwork."
Kato fights a grimace, and Nishikido visibly shudders, but they both nod in resignation and head to the van with the other agents. Sho turns to Nino, only now letting go of his shoulder. "As for you, Ninomiya, I'm driving you home and you are staying there."
"Please tell me you'll be watching my anklet coordinates as you fall sleep," Nino teases, batting his eyelashes.
Sho's mouth quirks in a smile, but he doesn't respond, pushing him towards the car. "Come on, stop wasting time."
---
Aiba greets Nino at his apartment later with a flushed but cheerful face and two over-filled glasses of wine. "Congratulations!" he says, wrapping an arm around Nino's shoulders, subsequently smashing Nino's face into his chest.
"Thank you," Nino mumbles into Aiba's shirt, extracting himself carefully with the glass of wine in his hand. "But I'm not sure I'm happy being the one to expose Ohno Satoshi to the world."
Aiba blows a raspberry in dismissal, pulling Nino to the table and sitting down. "Are you kidding? You've just got him so much more work now that people know what he looks like. And that he exists."
Nino shrugs, loosening his tie before he takes a sip of wine. "Maybe he was better as a myth."
"Was he?" Aiba asks, tucking his legs onto the chair. "You met him. You talked to him. Was he better as a myth, or as a person?"
Nino considers the question for a moment, the wine relaxing his bones into the chair. His mind tracks across his memory of the painting first, the impeccable detail and brilliant brush work, before leading back to the first glimpse he got of Ohno, a serene figure bathed in a warm incandescent glow of light. He sighs, and Aiba giggles before he can say anything to cover it.
"You fell for him, didn't you?" Aiba accuses, brandishing his wine glass at Nino.
"He's a brilliant forger," Nino concedes. "I admire his work. And to be honest, I'm a little jealous of his talent. If I had even half his skill...." But this path of thought is best left untrodden, and Nino shakes his head. "He's an artist. I'm a con. Never the 'twain shall meet."
Aiba snorts, speaking into his wine glass. "I can't believe you went through high school and university and only now are you going through your angst-ridden poetry phase."
Nino throws the first thing that comes into his hand - luckily for Aiba, it's a napkin - and Aiba giggles and makes the wine at his lips bubble. "I can't believe you didn't even finish university and are still a raving lush."
Aiba laughs, pulling his wine glass away and placing it safely on the table. "I love you too, Nino."
Nino smirks, but doesn't say anything in return. They talk into the night about nothing important - reliving an argument about Robert Ludlum they've had many times - before Aiba ends up falling asleep mid-rant. Nino deposits him on the couch before heading to bed. Most days for Nino end the same, but only every now and then does he fall in love.
From: littlealex
Title: The Myth of Ohno Satoshi
Pairing/Focus: Nino, with many and sundry guests
Rating: PG, for excessive wine drinking.
Warnings: No warnings, just lots of good fun.
Summary: Arashi/White Collar crossover. Nino chases an old friend and a mythical art forger on a case Sho finds baseless, with the help of some friends.
Notes: astrangerenters I hope you like it! This was loads of fun to write, even if my casefic skills leave something to be desired. At least there are a ton of cameos! Thanks to SS & LS for their help reading it over; this would be riddled with holes otherwise.
It's a beautiful, sunny spring morning when Nino decides to pester Sho with his presence. There's no real reason for him to be at Sho's door, knocking incessantly with one hand as the other holds a paper tray of breakfast. In fact, the whole event is rather out of his way, but Nino woke this morning with the sun in his eyes and a cheery disposition, and that's as much excuse as he needs to visit his superior before breakfast.
Nino finds his timing impeccable, and he grins to himself as a wet-haired and half naked Sho peers around the door as it strains against the latch. "What do you want?" he asks gruffly.
Nino pretends to look offended. "Do I need a reason to drop in on my favorite FBI handler and bring him an apple danish and a grande triple cap with non-fat milk because he should be watching that beer belly that's been creeping up on him lately?"
Sho blinks at him. "Why are you charming with everyone else but always manage to be so backhanded with me?"
Nino smirks. "Jealous?" Sho rolls his eyes and makes to close the door, but Nino stops it with his foot. "Come on, Sakurai, let me in. As much as I love your housing project of an apartment complex, I would prefer to be sitting on a couch than standing on your doorstep."
"And why should I let a convicted felon wait in my home?"
"Hey, I was never convicted of theft, just fraud." Sho rolls his eyes again. "Besides, you've let me in before."
"Fine, but I know where everything in my house is. Don't even think about it." Nino smirks again and removes his foot. Sho unhooks the latch and opens the door, failing to hide his awkwardness as Nino looks him up and down.
"Maybe I shouldn't be worried about that beer belly," Nino says with a wink, earning a huff of frustration from Sho.
"Stop dawdling, I need to get dressed," Sho grumbles, wrangling Nino inside and closing the door behind him.
"No you don't."
"Don't touch anything," Sho replies, retreating to the bathroom.
Nino doesn't touch anything. He likes to play tricks on Sho, of course, moving things around his office or living room with slight of hand, but it's more fun when done right under Sho's nose. And if he were going to steal something, it certainly wouldn't be from Sho's apartment; he doesn't own anything worth more than his television set, and even that's a few years old. So Nino waits quietly in the living room, passing the time by flicking through magazines and leafing through Sho's mail.
"That coffee better not be cold," Sho says, straightening his tie as he finally enters the living room. "If it is, you're buying me a new one." Nino shrugs from his spot on the couch - he'd ordered it extra hot anyway. Sho takes a sip and looks impressed, but doesn't say anything. "Now, why are you at my apartment at seven-thirty in the morning? Was there something particularly urgent you had to tell me? Confessing to any crimes?"
"Not this morning," Nino replies, standing and handing Sho the bag of apple danish. "But Mabo's car is in the shop so he's on his motorcycle and I had no way to get to the office, so I thought I'd hitch a ride with you."
Sho furrows his brow. "It would have been easier for you to catch the subway."
Nino wrinkles his nose. "The subway? Really Sho? I haven't used public transport since I was a teenager, and I don't intend to revert now."
Sho looks unimpressed. "Just for that I should make you get a cab."
"Cabs are worse and you know it. I'd rather steal a car." Sho fixes him with a look that says 'don't you dare'. It's Nino's turn to roll his eyes. "Figure of speech."
---
As soon as they arrive at headquarters, Agent Nakai gives Sho the two-fingered point. Nino puts a hand on Sho's shoulder. "Just remember: you didn't do anything wrong." Sho glares at him, but moves quickly to Nakai's office.
Without Sho to tease, Nino moves on to the other agents on the white collar team. He takes a seat in front of Agent Nishikido's desk and smiles pleasantly. "Morning, Nishki," he says. If Nishikido was to be described in one phrase, it would be 'silent but deadly', and Nino knows his capabilities well. He was on the team with Sakurai dedicated to catching Nino. None of that scares Nino, of course, and he smiles wider as Nishikido frowns at the nickname.
"Any cases today?" Nino prods, flicking his eyes over the paperwork covering Nishikido's desk. It's paperwork for the last case they wrapped, and he can tell that in a glance, but that doesn't stop him asking.
"Not yet," Nishikido says without looking up.
"Nakai's been on the phone since morning; something important because he's had his blinds closed. Pretty sure Sakurai's getting a briefing right now," Kato pipes up from the desk behind Nishikido. The final member of the white collar crimes division, Kato isn't known for being a gossip, but he always trusted Nino more easily than the others.
"Should be interesting, then," Nino replies, pulling a paperback copy of Breakfast At Tiffany's from his jacket pocket and kicking his feet up onto Nishikido's desk.
The meeting doesn't take long, and even Nishikido looks up when he hears Nakai's door close. "You three," Sakurai calls across the room, "in my office, now."
Nino stands first, putting his book away, watching the slight lift to Sakurai's shoulders; there's tension there and it looks like anger. Nino doesn't really like Sho when he's angry, so he lags behind and lets Nishikido and Kato go first. He misses out on a seat in Sho's office, but he would prefer to stand if there's going to be yelling.
"What is it, Sakurai?" Nishikido asks first.
"Kitagawa's daughter has had a break-in. Nothing was stolen or damaged, but she's reported it anyway. Now, you know the only person who could talk back to Kitagawa is Nakai, but he couldn't make him see reason," Sho says, looking as though each word causes him physical pain.
The idea of a break-in without any evidence intrigues Nino, and he casts his mind back to some of his finer breaking-and-entering work, but it does make him wonder,
"Why are we on it?" Kato asks before Nino can say anything.
"And what do you need me for?" Nino adds. "I can help tell you how they might have gotten in, but I think even you guys can work that one out on your own."
The questions raise Sho's shoulders a hair higher and he closes his eyes. "I know, I know. But the only thing she can think of is that she owns an incredibly expensive piece of art. And before you ask, Ninomiya, no, I don't know anything about it. It's Dutch. Worth quite a bit. Anyway, she thinks the painting might have had something to do with it, even though it wasn't touched."
Nishikido folds his arms across his chest. "Well that's about the weirdest briefing you've ever given us, boss."
Sho throws up his hands and glances at the ceiling. "I know. I know. At least it's not taking resources from anything else. So, Nino and I will talk to the daughter; maybe see which of us can work out how this ghost got into her apartment first. If it even happened. Kato, find anyone you think might be relevant - doormen, ex-boyfriends, ex-friends, anyone who might have had a key. But stay away from family for now. Nishikido.... Finish up your paperwork from the Toppo case. Hopefully by the time you're done we won't be on this joke of a case anymore."
---
"Miss Fujishima, can you walk us through your experience last night?" Sho asks, his pen and paper poised, and that's how Nino knows he doesn't care. Sho doesn't usually write anything down, just keeps it in his memory; writing it down means he can throw it away.
"Please, call me July," the young lady says, voice soft as she gestures for them to sit. The decor has a minimalist feel to it, everything in black and white and shades of brown, but over the fireplace hangs the impressive seventeenth century painting. It caught Nino's eye as soon as they entered; not his style, but he could easily name ten people who would want to steal it.
"I had just come home from dinner. The girls and I had gone to this Ethiopian restaurant after yoga, and when I came home, I knew something was wrong." Sho scribbles in his notebook, and Nino peers over his shoulder and smirks. He's not even writing words.
"How did you know?" Sho asks, obviously frustrated, but Nino puts a hand over Sho's notebook and leans forward.
"July," he says, smiling warmly. "Please excuse my partner, he's a little rough around the edges. But you can imagine how difficult it must be for us to understand, when there hasn't been any damage done."
July nods, her dyed hair escaping from its masterfully unkempt ponytail. "Of course. I know it all sounds a bit ridiculous," Sho tries valiantly not to clear his throat too loudly, "but I just knew. It was a feeling. As far as I can tell, nothing in the apartment was disturbed, but I felt a presence. I don't know if they were still here when I got home, but I knew someone had been here."
"Just this room, or the whole house?" Nino asks, as Sho seems to have stepped out of the conversation.
"Just this room."
"Do you mind if we have a look around?" Nino can see the look Sho gives him out of the corner of his eye - it says 'you must be insane' - but ignores it.
"Of course not," July says, standing. "I'll make you some tea. Feel free to look at anything you need to."
"Thank you," Nino says with his most charming smile, standing as well. Sho remains seated and gives July a curt smile as she leaves.
"What are you looking for?" Sho groans, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples.
"Evidence," Nino replies, staring intently at the floor. "Like this indent in the carpet." He steps closer to the painting and the mantelpiece, looking first at all the photographs and then behind them. "Or this piece of short black hair behind the photographs." He turns back to Sho, who now has one eye opened in mild interest, and then goes to the door from the hallway, inspecting the lock. "Or the very small scratches in the paint near the lock." He looks behind the handle, and decides to keep the smudge of black nail polish to himself.
"All of those things can be explained," Sho replies, still sounding bored but at least awake. "The indent could be from anything she owns, the hair could be a boyfriend's, and the scratches in the paint could just be from everyday use. This is an old house, even if it's been gussied up."
Nino shrugs. "You could be right," he says, but he doesn't think so.
July returns, then, with a tray of teacups and a teapot. "Did you find anything?" She asks as she pours their tea.
"No," Sho says at the same time as Nino says "yes". Sho glares at Nino, but Nino ignores him and smiles at July. "It could be something, it could be nothing. I just have one question for you. Did you smell anything in the room? Aftershave or cologne or anything like that?"
July hands him a cup of tea and bites on her lower lip, considering it. Nino sits as he waits for the memory to return to her, and looks over at Sho, who still clearly thinks he's insane, but at least realizes he's running with an idea. "Well, now that you mention it," July finally says, "it did smell faintly salty. Maybe a hint of Gucci For Men. My boss wears it and it stinks up his office." She realizes what she's implied, and her eyes widen. "Not that I think it was him! He doesn't even remember my name, I doubt he knows about the painting."
"Of course not," Nino replies with a private smirk. "Thank you so much July, I think we have everything we need." Nino stands, leaving his tea on the table. July and Sho follow quickly, the latter giving him a confused look. "We appreciate your cooperation. We'll be in touch."
Sho clears his throat and fixes his tie, reasserting his position as the only person in the room qualified to make an investigation. "Thank you, Miss Fujishima." He produces a business card and hands it to her. "If you think of anything else, don't hesitate to call."
July smiles at the both of them. "Thank you."
Back at the car, Sho doesn't unlock it before asking Nino a few questions of his own. "So, what do you think you've found?"
Nino just shrugs, though it's written all over his face. "I have to consult with a friend to confirm some suspicions before I can report back."
"Aiba?" Sho asks, doubt clear in his voice.
"Hey, he's a genius." The look on Sho's face doesn't exactly agree. "Well, you haven't caught him yet, have you?"
"I wasn't aware he'd done anything illegal," Sho counters, raising his eyebrows.
"Exactly."
---
Mabo isn't at home during the afternoons, which Nino is generally thankful for, because that's when Aiba is more likely to be there. Aiba can be a handful enough for someone who knows him inside out, so Nino tries to spare Mabo the trouble. This afternoon, Aiba is in Nino's attic apartment, sprawled out on the couch with a glass of white wine and a book on eighteenth century watch mechanics.
"You're home!" Aiba says excitedly, resting his book on his chest and grinning up at Nino.
"Why do you choose to afternoon-drink where I live? There are hundreds of bars in this city, and all of them have the same shitty cleanskin white you buy at the store." Nino pretends to be annoyed, because that's part of how he puts up with Aiba, but Aiba just ignores him, which Nino has always assumed is how Aiba puts up with him.
"Did you have fun at Zero's today?" Aiba has called Sho 'Zero' since before either of them knew his real name. All that Aiba and Nino knew at the time was that the FBI agent tracking Nino was coming up with nothing every time he looked, and the nickname 'Zero' stuck.
Nino takes the glass of wine from Aiba's hand. "I think Jun's in town," he says, taking a sip. The wine is terrible, as expected, and he makes a face as he hands it back. Aiba sits up, abandoning the book, and his grin widens.
"Jun? What's he up to now? Did he finally get his hands on the mayor's bottle of Chateau Lafite?" He asks, making room for Nino to sit. Nino declines, instead moving to the kitchen portion of the room to find a bottle of Grange to open. Aiba follows, sitting at the kitchen table.
"No, he's here for a de Vlieger. He didn't steal it, though," Nino replies, pouring himself a glass. He speaks slower as the story begins to fall apart. "I think he just went to look at it. Why, I don't know. He's a thief, not a forger. Well, there was that one time, with that horrific Baudelaire first edition, but anyone can find a typewriter and age some paper."
Aiba smiles and clinks his glass against Nino's, reminding Nino to take a sip. "Maybe it was Ohno Satoshi."
Nino rolls his eyes and sits down at the head of the table adjacent to Aiba. "Just once I wish you would give me a normal answer."
"I'm serious! They say Ohno can recreate a painting entirely from memory," Aiba says, punctuating his statement with a wave of his glass. Nino wonders how many Aiba has already had.
"Aiba, I'm not chasing some mythical con artist, I'm just looking for Jun."
"Ohno Satoshi isn't a myth. I know people who have met him! He lives on a boat in Mississauga, and sometimes disappears for months on fishing expeditions. He's also painted some of the best forgeries in history." Aiba has been Nino's friend for years - many more than Nino would prefer to recount - but most of the time, Nino doesn't understand how the man operates. He lives somewhere outside the realm of reality, where airheaded aerospace engineers drop out of university to become slippery criminal masterminds. Only Aiba could make the myth of the glancing art forger seem like a reasonable answer.
Nino realizes he's been staring at Aiba too late. Aiba giggles and reaches forward to tousle Nino's hair. "Don't daydream about Jun too much. It's unbecoming."
"I wasn't daydreaming, I was perfecting my plot to destroy you in your sleep," Nino deadpans, swatting Aiba's hand away and fixing his hair. Aiba giggles again, which is everyone's downfall; even Nino can't hide a smile.
"Well, tell Zero about Ohno Satoshi. He might like the idea."
Nino scoffs. "Sho already thinks this whole case is a complete sham. Just because the victim is the head of the FBI's daughter and has a bit more of the spiritual than logical about her, he thinks it's a waste of time and resources."
Aiba shrugs and drains his glass. "Maybe he's right. Maybe there is no Ohno Satoshi. Maybe Jun's not even involved."
"No, I'm sure about Jun," Nino says, taking a sip of his own wine and then handing it to Aiba. "Ask around, will you? See if anyone's seen Jun."
"I'll start at The Eight!" Aiba says enthusiastically, raising his glass. Nino rolls his eyes and doesn't expect to see Aiba for another day or two. He'll be working off the hangover from The Eight's fake alcohol for a while.
"Say hi to Mac for me," Nino says, picking up his keys and heading back out.
---
Kato knocks before he enters Sakurai's office, because Sakurai has spent the last hour with his back to the glass door, staring out the window (or sleeping, which was where Nishikido put his five dollars). Sho turns slowly, looking bored and uninspired but not recently woken. Kato silently celebrates his five-dollar victory and enters the office, putting a file in front of Sakurai.
"Here's the information you asked for," he says. He's not sure whether to sit or not so he just hovers, folding his hands behind his back. "I couldn't find anyone suspicious on paper, so I called around to the neighbors and asked if they saw anyone. They didn't. I talked to her friends; nobody thought Miss Fujishima was acting strange. There's just... nothing."
Sho flicks through the papers in the file, pretending to glance them over, but he doesn't bother taking anything in. He looks up at Kato, closing the file. "Thank you, Agent Kato."
Kato nods, and hovers a moment longer, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "Uh, sir. I was just wondering. Nishikido has finished the Toppo paperwork, and I've done as much follow-up on this as I can. Could we possibly take the rest of the day...?"
"Go," Sho says, waving towards the door. Everyone knows about them - it's the way that Nishikido constantly harasses Kato that gives them away - and Sho isn't completely heartless. "Have a beer. Nino's on his way back, but unless he's overturned a serious rock, I doubt we'll have anything to do."
Kato tries not to grin but doesn't quite manage it. "Thank you, sir. Keep us informed, and don't hesitate to -"
"Go, Kato," Sho interrupts. Kato tries too hard sometimes. "Enjoy yourselves."
It's not long before Nino shows up, breezing through Sho's office door even though Sho has turned his back again, and makes himself comfortable in a chair across from Sho's desk. "I come bearing news."
Sho turns slowly to face Nino, leveling him with the same skeptical gaze as he had at July's apartment. "Really? You found our ghost?"
Nino waves his hand dismissively. "I didn't find him, but I know who he is. Matsumoto Jun."
"The Baudelaire forger?"
Nino almost laughs, but cuts it back to a grin. "I love that he is known for his worst work to date. No, Matsumoto Jun usually steals things. He has a few fences you might have heard of - Ikuta Toma or Oguri Shun? He works fast, and usually in Europe. Italy is his favorite, but only because he's known to the French police."
Sho blinks and makes mental note of all the details Nino gave him - and those he didn't. "What part of that information makes you think that Matsumoto is here, then? The painting isn't stolen, and at least one of his fences is behind bars for identity theft."
"Oh, they finally got Shun? That's too bad. The man's a chameleon."
"Ninomiya," Sho warns. Getting Nino back on point is a difficult task even when there are concrete things to focus on; Nino's hard-wired to divert from the topic at hand.
"I know it's Jun because of a couple of details at July's: there was black nail polish on the door by the handle - an unfortunate habit of fashion that went out of date more than a decade ago - and the cologne. As for why he was there and didn't take the painting, I'm not sure. Maybe he was caught in the act, maybe he just wanted to scout the place...."
"I'm sensing another 'maybe'," Sho says, even though he still doesn't believe Nino's assessment of the so-called evidence from the apartment.
Nino pauses. "Just a ridiculous theory brought to me by an associate," he says, sounding unconvinced.
"What crazy idea did Aiba bring you this time?" Sho asks. Last time it was something about UFOs, but the time before that it really had been termites in the dollhouse safe, so Sho couldn't always afford to dismiss Aiba's theories.
"Ohno Satoshi," Nino says simply, waiting for recognition.
"The forge-from-memory guy? I thought he was just a con man's campfire story."
Nino smiles, appreciating for a moment the way Sho has made white collar crimes his life. Sometimes he seems to know more than those in the trade with all the information he has stuffed in his head. "I guess it wouldn't be a ridiculous theory if anyone had ever seen Ohno Satoshi. He's just an urban legend as far as I know, but Aiba's had weirder theories."
Sho tilts his head in consideration. "True. But until we have something solid on either Matsumoto Jun or Ohno Satoshi, we can't do anything. Find me something and I'll think about investigating."
"Challenge accepted."
---
Aiba is back at Nino's apartment when he returns that evening, and the only way Nino can tell that he went to The Eight is the horrific stench of stale alcohol emanating from his body. This doesn't necessarily mean that Aiba was drinking, but the fact that Aiba is passed out on the floor certainly suggests that it's not just the atmosphere he soaked up.
Nino kicks Aiba's sleeping form, eliciting a groan as Aiba returns to consciousness. "What time is it?" he asks, curling onto his side around the leg of Nino's table.
"What does it matter?" Nino replies, filling a glass with water and bringing it to Aiba. "It's not like you have regular sleeping habits anyway." He remains crouched on the floor, waiting for Aiba to pull himself up enough to take a sip of water.
"Touche," Aiba says, wobbling slightly as he leans to take a sip. It doesn't quite work, so he sways back in the other direction, looking at Nino and holding onto the ground. "Oh, hey, I found Jun."
Nino raised his eyebrows. "You saw him? You talked to him? Please don't tell me you talked to him."
Aiba grins. "Jealous?" Nino levels a glare at him and Aiba laughs carefully, low and in the back of his throat. "No, I didn't speak to him. Or see him. But Ace told me he's staying at some serviced apartment on East 38th. He's banging the maid and saw Jun when he went to visit her." Aiba manages to steady himself enough to take a sip of water, at which point Nino moves to take a seat at the kitchen table. Aiba remains on the floor.
"East 38th," Nino muses, sifting through a stack of papers and books on the table. At the bottom of the pile is a map of the city, a two-mile circle drawn out from FBI headquarters. "We're in luck. Don't suppose Ace knows what room Jun's staying in?"
Aiba groans, though Nino can't tell if it's from stretching his legs or his memory. "Uh, 601. Or 106. Wait." He pushes his hand into his pocket for his phone, and Nino watches, amused, as the tries to unlock it and find the note he must have saved, all with his left hand. "Huh. 307. Go figure. Oh, wait, it's because six divided by two and one plus -"
"Thank you, Aiba," Nino interrupts as he puts the map away and picks up his lock picking case. "Try to be a little less hung over when I get back."
Aiba attempts a salute but ends up dropping his phone in the glass of water. Nino laughs, and Aiba just shrugs. "It was time for a new number."
---
Picking the lock proves to be the hardest part of getting into Jun's serviced apartment. There's a doorman who is easily distracted by a well-endowed girl passing, and an elevator attendant who looks as though he's been asleep or drunk (or both) since the seventies. Getting past them is child's play, so that the half-assed lock on Jun's apartment door - while easy - is the only feat Nino has to pull off.
He almost feels let down by the time he enters the apartment and starts to look around, a feeling compounded as he can tell that Jun isn't hiding anything here. The only things of note in the apartment are his books - all fiction, none involving crime - and his sparse collection of classical music CDs. Even those bore Nino, so he plucks To Kill A Mockingbird off the shelf and settles on the couch to wait for the elusive Matsumoto Jun.
Eventually, the lock clicks open - Nino smirks at the confidence with which it is maneuvered; clearly Jun didn't notice the breach - and Jun pushes through the door. He stops short when he sees Nino lounging on the couch, but doesn't look surprised.
"Ninomiya," he says without inflection. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
Nino tosses the book on the coffee table and stands. "Just checking in on an old friend, Jun, that's all," he replies, stepping around the coffee table and approaching the other man. Jun isn't carrying anything, but there are two extra keys on his key ring - after the apartment door and a hire car.
Jun doesn't look impressed. "Friend? After you left me stranded in Strasbourg, you really think we're friends?"
Nino waves a hand. "That was years ago. Water under the bridge."
"You weren't the one that got pinched and went to jail."
"No, but you were only there for a little while. Nice work on the escape, by the way."
"It wasn't exactly high security. Not like you; I heard your escape was nothing short of a miracle." Jun folds his arms and shifts his weight to one foot.
"You know me, slippery as they come."
"Yes, well. I also hear you're working for the feds." Jun narrows his eyes and his voice takes on an icy edge.
"Only on and off," Nino replies. "Besides, I have a nice piece of jewelry to go with it." He tugs up the leg of his pants and points his toe.
"How vogue," Jun remarks blithely. "But it does make me wonder as to any other accessories you might have on you."
"I didn't realize you still used the 'let me check if you're wearing a bug' line." Nino smirks and moves to unbutton his shirt.
Jun unfolds his arms and slaps Nino's hands to stop him undressing. "Shut up." Nino can see a faint flush at the neck of Jun's shirt, but he keeps it to himself. "Why are you here, Nino?"
"I know you were in July Fujishima's apartment last night, staring at her de Vlieger." Jun flinches and quickly schools his expression, but Nino still notices. "There's nothing for the feds to get you on - unless I show them the hair I found on the mantelpiece, of course - but honestly, I just wanted to come and ask why you didn't steal it. It's a gorgeous piece; you could probably fence it for a good six digits. And I know you're smart enough not to get caught without enough time. I just want to know why you were there and didn't take advantage." Jun's expression doesn't waver as Nino speaks, but that only means he must have something to hide.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Ninomiya."
"It's just that there was a dent in the carpet, and I couldn't help but wonder if you had a stand to take photos. Though, I don't know what good photos would do you if you hadn't stolen it. I did think you might have taken Ohno Satoshi to see it, but again, if you weren't stealing it, and the location of the original is known, why saturate the market with fakes?"
"You do realize that Ohno Satoshi doesn't actually exist," Jun says, but there's something in his tone that doesn't convince Nino at all.
"It would make a great story if he did."
Jun rolls his eyes. "If that's all, Ninomiya, I think you'd better go," he says, putting a hand on Nino's shoulder and pressing him towards the door.
"Oh, come on," Nino cajoles. "What about hypotheticals? Why would someone break in just stare at a de Vlieger?"
Jun opens the door and holds his hand out expectantly. "Because it's a beautiful painting? I'm sorry, but you'll have to find someone else to brainstorm with, Ninomiya."
Nino looks at Jun for a moment, making note of the chipped black nail polish on his thumb and the light sweat at his hairline. "Well, thank you for your time, Matsumoto" he says, stepping out of the apartment. The door closes and locks before he can say goodbye, and Nino turns to look at the brass numbers on the door. "Methinks the lady doth protest too much."
---
When Nino returns to his apartment, Aiba is still there, asleep on the floor. Nino doesn't bother trying to wake him this time - as long as there isn't vomit, he doesn't mind how Aiba arranges himself for the night. By the time Nino wakes, though, Aiba has migrated to the couch, and Nino makes an exceptionally strong Italian brew to waft under his nose.
"Delicious," Aiba mumbles, before his eyes even open. He rustles and reaches out in the direction of the coffee, but Nino pulls it back until he opens his eyes. "Come on, Nino, I can drink with my eyes closed."
Nino snorts and waits for Aiba to pull himself upright before handing him the mug. "My cashmere throw tells a different story."
Aiba doesn't argue, just holds the mug under his nose and breathes deeply. He looks considerably more awake when he looks up at Nino. "Did you find Jun last night?" he asks, taking a sip of the coffee.
"Yeah," Nino says, and waits for the blissful look to fade from Aiba's features. "He knows I'm working for the feds, so he didn't say much, but I'm even more sure he's up to something now. He had two extra keys, so he's hiding something somewhere."
Aiba nods and takes another sip before saying anything. "Do you want me to tail him?"
Nino looks skeptical. "The last time you tailed a mark for me he ended up at the hospital."
"That wasn't my fault!"
"You ran over his foot."
"With a unicycle!"
Nino sighs. "Okay, okay. As long as there aren't any unicycles involved. Just... follow him in a car or on foot. No cycles of any description."
"Okay," Aiba agrees grudgingly. "You going to tell Zero you met up with him?"
"He'll have tracked my anklet, so I may as well."
"He's gonna yell at you," Aiba sings into his cup before he takes a larger mouthful of coffee.
Nino smirks. "He's not that scary when he yells. He just sort of turns red, and there's this big vein on his temple that starts throbbing."
Aiba giggles. "Have a good day at the big house, then." Nino tries to decide whether or not Aiba is deliberately mixing metaphors, but realizes it doesn't really matter.
"Get going soon. Don't want to miss Jun-pon leaving his apartment."
---
Nino sees the tiny motion from Nishikido that indicates he's a dead man as soon as he walks in the door of headquarters, but before he can turn around to leave, Sho's voice rings across the office. "Ninomiya," he says, and when Nino looks up he can see blotches of red already forming on Sho's neck. "My office, now."
When Nino makes it to the office - after throwing Nishikido a look that hopefully says 'next time, text me before I am about to be murdered' - Sho doesn't even wait for Nino to sit down before starting his rant. "You went to see Matsumoto Jun last night, didn't you? You do realize that when I said to find me something I didn't mean to do so by sabotaging what little of a case we might have."
"I just went for a stroll," Nino replies, because he'd at least like to poke the bear before it tears him up.
"A stro- Ninomiya, I know you saw him. You sat in one spot in a residential block for an hour. How dense do you think I am?"
Nino grins. "Do you really want me to answer that?" Sho's face turns an interesting shade of red, so Nino sits forward and puts both hands on Sho's desk. "Hey, okay. Yes, I went to see him. But there was nothing there; it's just where he sleeps. And he knows I'm with you, so he didn't tell me anything. But I put a tail on him today, so I'll find whatever he's hiding."
The redness in Sho's face dissipates slowly and he sighs. "So did I. Gave Kato the photo on file with the French."
Nino smiles. Aiba might not be as good at surveillance as Kato, but he knows Jun better. "We'll see which tail Jun shakes first, then."
---
That evening, Nino is sitting with Mabo and his dog in the downstairs living room, watching some terrible action movie on Mabo's wide-screen television. Nino likes Mabo for many reasons: mostly because he's giving him a place to stay for free, but also because he doesn't ask any questions. Mabo knows he can forge signatures and has an eye for detail, but he probably thinks Nino's a lawyer with the way he knows how to get around the law. Other than that, he doesn't know and doesn't ask.
Nino gets a text message from Sho at the beginning of the movie that says, "Defeated. Let's hope Aiba didn't bring his unicycle." About halfway through, he gets a text message from an unknown number that says, "SOS party on dock 10/2! Bring all your friends!", which first of all means that Aiba has replaced his phone. Other than that, it could mean that the hiding place is either on dock ten and there are two people, or it's at dock five. He has no idea what the SOS part means, and hopes it doesn't mean he was caught. He excuses himself from the movie to call Aiba.
"Get back here, I have no idea what you're talking about."
Aiba giggles, which at least means he wasn't caught. "Meet me at the fay-du-ca," he says and hangs up.
Nino groans, but at least he can understand Aiba's modified pig Latin. He says a brief goodbye to Mabo before heading to the cafe around the corner. Nino hates the cafe - the coffee manages to be bitter and sweet at the same time, and the sandwiches are limp and tasteless - but the upside is that everyone else hates it too. It's quiet, and the old man who mans the espresso machine is half deaf, so Nino doesn't mind meeting Aiba there on business.
"So what does SOS mean, if not 'Save Our Souls'?" Nino asks as he sits down across from Aiba.
"Saw Ohno Satoshi," Aiba says, as though it should have been obvious.
Nino furrows his brow. "If nobody has ever seen Ohno Satoshi, how do you know it was him?"
Aiba rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his soda - the only safe thing to order at the cafe. "Because Jun kept calling him 'Ohno'. He never was very good at code names, was he?"
"How close were you?" Nino asks, starting to panic a little. If Jun saw Aiba, he would likely move hideouts and they'd be back at square one. And then Sho really would yell at him.
"Oh, I just read his lips. I was in the car looking through my telescope. Well, yours. The one you use for looking at stars. I could see all the way inside a window."
To anyone else, Aiba's story would sound fabricated not only in content but also delivery, with the conspicuous lack of details and flippant waving of his hand. But Nino has known Aiba long enough to not only know when he's lying but also to trust that any crazy thing he says he's done is likely true. He's a genius wrapped in an idiot.
Nino shrugs it off and takes Aiba's can of soda. "Did you see anything else?"
"I'm not that familiar with de Vlieger's work, but there was a lovely marinescape of a peaceful shoreline in twilight with a few sailboats in the distance... is that the one July has?"
Nino nods and hands back the soda. "That describes most of de Vlieger's works, but yes. It's the same. Don't suppose you took your camera with you?"
Aiba grins and produces a memory stick. "The photos are geo-tagged. Will you give it to Zero?"
Nino shrugs and takes the memory stick. "Not yet. I want to meet this Ohno Satoshi, and I would prefer if he wasn't behind bars at the time."
---
"So you say that Aiba found Matsumoto and this Ohno fellow," Sho says the next day when Nino calls everyone into the conference room for a briefing.
Nino nods. "Nothing against you, Kato, but the man's a ninja."
Kato looks at Nino in disbelief. "The last time you sent him on surveillance he cosplayed as Sailor Moon."
"Sailor Venus," Nino corrects him, "but as you'll recall he still got the information." Kato frowns, and Nino allows himself a smirk before continuing. "But to answer your question, Sho, yes. I have the coordinates for you if you'd like them."
"Did Aiba happen to get anything useful that we can pin on Matsumoto?"
"He saw the painting in the warehouse, and the two men inside. What more do you want?" Nino asks, though he knows the answer before he hears it.
"Intent. Proof. Something more than a con man's word. Not that he'd even testify." Sho says, and Nino can hear the frustrated sigh in his voice.
"Why don't you send me out? I know you can't get in there without probable cause, but I'm not FBI. Let me go get it for you," Nino says reasonably, though he can feel Sho's eyes bore through him.
"I don't suppose this secret warehouse hideout is outside your radius?" Nino gives his most winning smile and Nishikido snorts. "Matsumoto knows you're working for us. He won't give up anything."
"I'll go when Jun isn't there."
"What if Ohno Satoshi is there?" Kato asks. "Won't he be suspicious?"
Nino smiles again. "I'm a con artist, Shige. It won't be a problem."
Sho is still inspecting Nino, trying to work out his ulterior motives. "I'll go with you. I'll let you off the leash but we'll be watching you."
Nino shrugs. "Fine. As long as nobody sees you."
"I could get Aiba to take me," Sho suggests, as he often does. He's only spoken to Aiba once, and it was enough of a disaster for Nino to make sure it never happens again.
"I was on a stakeout with Aiba once," Nino replies in a roundabout sort of way. "He spent the entire time talking about the relative benefits of lemons and limes in a variety of mixed drinks. His treatise on limes in gin and tonic was a particular highlight, but it went downhill when he started discussing Long Island Iced Tea."
Nino can see Sho's internal battle play out on his face. "Fine. I won't take Aiba. But you're wearing a wire in case Ohno Satoshi knows anything."
Nino knows how to pick his battles, and this is not something he can be bothered to fight. Besides, if he's right about Ohno Satoshi, it won't matter if he wears a bug. He shrugs, appearing to concede graciously. "I accept your terms. Tonight? Pick me up at eight."
---
Sho knocks on Nino's door promptly at eight, just as Nino is finishing tying his tie. "Come in," he calls, adjusting the knot in his mirror. Sho enters the room with the same look of mild annoyance he has every time he comes to Nino's apartment; it reminds him of how easily Nino found a way around his FBI-assigned housing.
"Would you like a drink?" Nino asks, picking up his glass of pinot noir and taking a sip.
Sho takes the glass from Nino's hand and puts it back on the table. "We're on the job, Ninomiya."
Nino picks up the glass again. "No, you are on the job, Sho. I'm working in a non-official capacity this evening. Besides, I do some of my best work after a glass of good wine."
Sho rolls his eyes and motions to the door. "You're the one who said eight. Let's go."
"What about my bug?" Nino asks, mostly because he doesn't relish redoing his tie in Sho's car. Sho always complains when he moves the rear-view mirror.
Sho pulls a small case from his jacket pocket and hands it to Nino. "You can stick it under your shirt if you like, but too many layers of material distorts the sound. I'd put it on the underside of your lapel."
Nino smirks and opens the case. "You just don't want me to take my shirt off because it embarrasses you," he says, pulling out the bug. Sho doesn't say anything, but his suddenly red ears don't lie. Nino puts the glass of wine down and picks up his jacket, shrugging it on. "Wouldn't want to embarrass you," he says, sticking the device under his lapel as suggested.
Sho frowns slightly and motions towards the door. "Come on, it's past eight."
Nino smiles and picks up his glass again. "No rush," he says, swirling the last of his wine with the smallest of movements. "We don't even know if Jun has left for the day yet."
Sho doesn't do anything for a moment, just stares intently at Nino, and it's a moment like this that makes Nino wonder what the purpose of those looks are. He hasn't worked it out yet - though he and Aiba have a running list of possibilities - and it bothers him more than he would ever admit. But as always, before the moment lingers too long, Sho takes a step back, breaking eye contact. "Come on," he says again, moving to open the door. "We're leaving."
Nino takes a deep breath in, snapping himself out of the moment and puts his glass down for the last time. "One last thing," he says, putting his foot on a chair and lifting his pant leg to reveal his anklet. "If you don't mind."
Nino can see Sho grit his teeth, but he pulls his keys out anyway, unlocking the anklet and moving back to the door as quickly as possible. "There. Can we go now, please?" he says, pocketing the keys and the anklet.
Nino smiles. "After you," he says, a slight bow.
"No, I insist. After you," Sho says, bowing right back at him. Nino smirks a little and sets out first. He would miss these games if he ever did have reason to run.
---
By the time they get there, Aiba has already sent a text confirming that Jun is back at his apartment. Sho looks dubious as Nino checks his bug. "If you do anything stupid, I'll come in there and shoot you myself."
"You're too kind," Nino replies with a smile, leaving the car without waiting for a response. He's fairly sure there aren't any security cameras around the site - he would have seen equipment or evidence of it at the apartment - so he casually strolls up to the warehouse and pulls the door open.
Inside is dim but not dark, the entire space filled with incandescent light, and he can hear the faint sound of music - Wagner, if his ears aren't deceiving him. He's already a little bit in love with Ohno, and his affections are only confirmed when he sees the wine bottles - some empty, some halfway there - scattered across the workspace. Nino slides the door shut behind him, and that's when a figure appears, first as a silhouette and then bathed in warm orange-yellow light in middle of the room.
The man blinks. "Hello," he says simply. Nino smiles to himself; he had this man pegged exactly.
"Hello," Nino replies. "My name's Ninomiya; I'm a friend of Jun's. You must be Ohno Satoshi." He speaks relatively quickly, not giving the other man enough time to think about what he's saying, and approaches with an extended hand. Ohno looks at him for a moment, his hair and his nose, his extended hand and then his shoes. Then he looks back at Nino's eyes, switching his paintbrush into his left hand and taking Nino's with his right.
"Nice to meet you, Ninomiya," he says, shaking his hand once before returning his paintbrush to its rightful hand. "I didn't know Jun had any friends."
Nino can't help but laugh a little. "He's not the type, is he?"
"He reminds me of a lone wolf," Ohno says, and there's something in the way he speaks - not exactly clearly, but with feeling - that makes Nino see exactly that. Nino smiles again, and hopes the stars aren't showing in his eyes.
"I'm his fence on this particular job," Nino clarifies, mentally shaking himself out. "Just wanted to check the merchandise."
Ohno blinks again and gestures towards the easel behind Nino. "I've got to touch it up a bit, but it's nearly done."
Nino turns to look at the painting and nearly stumbles. From a distance of less than fifteen feet, he would swear he's looking at the original. He nearly trips going to look at it closer, but regains his footing and stands from a distance of five feet, then two feet, before finally leaning in six inches from the work. It's a near perfect copy, even with some touching up to do, and Nino doesn't realize he hasn't breathed until he turns back to Ohno.
"You did this from memory?" he asks breathlessly.
Ohno shrugs and nods on an angle. "I had a photo," he says, picking up something from the table beside him and taking it to Nino. It's a photo, but a measly 6x4 photograph of the whole canvas.
Nino looks up at Ohno and feels his knees go weak. "But the detail," he breathes. "I've seen this painting before. Up close." He remembers himself and shakes his head. "Years ago, before it went into a private collection. I... this is incredible. I mean, the stroke work alone.... Surely you've studied de Vlieger?"
Ohno shrugs again. "I saw one of his etchings once. Oh, and his Arrival of William of Orange, at a museum, years ago. I think that's what it was called."
Nino's mind reels. "That's... that's impossible." He's aware he sounds like a star-struck child, but he doesn't care. He is, however, thankful that Sho doesn't have a voice in his ear at the moment.
Ohno smiles, and Nino's knees threaten to turn to jelly again. "I know, right?" he says, without a hint of arrogance. "But there are those people who can listen to a piece of music once and know it back to front. I guess I'm like that with paintings."
Nino can't decide whether he wants to hit him, steal him, or kiss him. It's very confusing. Before he makes a choice, his phone notifies him of a text message. "Excuse me," he says and pulls out his phone. A message from Sho says, "Stop flirting and get me something concrete". He doesn't bother replying and turns his phone on silent before putting it away. "Just an ex," he lies. "So clingy. I should really change my number."
"Been there," Ohno commiserates with a smile. "That's why I live on a boat. If the crazies come looking for me, I just sail off."
Nino is a little shocked that Aiba actually got something right about Ohno - apart from the fact that he existed - but manages to turn back to the painting without skipping a beat. "Well, this is absolutely amazing. You could fool anyone with it."
"That's the idea," Ohno says, moving to stand next to Nino, inspecting the painting up close.
Nino is mesmerized for a moment as Ohno reaches blindly for a palette and starts dabbing his paintbrush in the perfectly mixed paint. He watches as Ohno's hand darts out and instantly smoothes over an earlier stroke. His phone vibrates in his pocket and reminds him of the task at hand, even though he doesn't check what it says.
"So," Nino says quietly, not wanting to disturb the master at work. Ohno doesn't look disturbed, though, and turns back to Nino. "Do you know much about the mark?"
Ohno shakes his head. "I don't know anything. I mean, obviously I'm forging a Baroque Dutch master, but that's all I know. I don't even know who owns the original."
Nino's not really surprised, but he can already hear Sho lamenting over a pointless exercise. "Probably for the best," he says with a smile.
Before anything more can happen, the door to the warehouse opens again and panic shoots through Nino's veins. He knows it isn't Sho, because there's no proof of anything illegal, which only leaves one person.
"Jun," Ohno says with a smile, putting down his palette and paintbrush. "Your fence came to visit. Who's that?" Nino isn't surprised to turn around and see Jun holding Aiba by the neck of his t-shirt.
"This," Jun says through his teeth, "is someone I should have shot the moment I saw him."
Aiba struggles to defend himself, but Nino interjects. "Did he start talking about pudding again? I swear I could strangle him when he starts in on consistency."
Jun looks as though he's going to explode, but instead throws Aiba to the floor. "I should have known he was with you," he seethes, grabbing a piece of sculpting wire from the table and advancing rapidly.
Ohno steps in front of Nino - quicker than Nino would have expected him to move - and puts a paint-stained hand to Jun's chest. "Don't kill him," he says calmly, somehow taking the murder out of Jun's eyes.
"Give me one good reason," Jun asks, eyes burning into Nino's. "He's working for the FBI. He's probably wearing a wire."
"Really, Jun, your desire for me to take my shirt off is getting out of hand," Nino says, unable to resist the jibe. Jun lunges at him but is caught by Ohno, which Nino still can't quite work out.
"Calm down, Jun," Ohno says, taking the wind out of Jun's sails again. "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation." He turns back to look at Nino. "If you're not Jun's fence, then who are you, Ninomiya?"
Nino looks at Ohno and forgets the question immediately. Then he hears Jun growl and turns back to his potential murderer. "I broke away from them, Jun," he says, holding up his hands first, before slowly moving to tug up his pants leg. "Look, no more anklet. I don't have much time before they get to me, but I wanted to see the painting and meet the man. I could help you fence the copy if you want. It's nearly done."
Ohno nods. "Just a couple more strokes."
Jun struggles against Ohno's arms again, though not with much intent this time. "You idiot," he growls, moving back from Ohno and running a hand through his hair. "I'm not getting rid of the copy. I'm switching it for the original and handing it off to Matchy."
Nino's eyes grow wide. "Masahiko Kondo?" Aiba yelps from the other side of the room. Jun turns his angry gaze onto him but all he does is growl again.
"Yes, but this idiot," he brandishes the sculpting wire at Nino, "has the feds on his tail with no time for me to clean up the place." Jun rubs his eyes and takes a breath. "Okay, alright. Ohno, pack what you need. I'll take the painting. We've got to get out of here." Jun throws the sculpting wire on the ground and moves to find a cover for the painting.
Ohno turns to Nino and shrugs. "Sorry," he says kindly, though Nino still isn't sure why he's being so nice. "I hope they don't put you away for long."
Ohno moves unhurriedly into the back room, and Jun returns with a tarpaulin and some rope. "I suggest you start running, Nino. And do me a favor - run away from me this time, will you?"
But before Nino can reply, the warehouse door bursts open and in streams a swarm of FBI agents, Sho leading the charge. Nino just smirks as Jun breaks into a run, leaving the painting behind. Sho sprints after him, deftly jumping over upturned crates and dodging projectiles, and eventually catches Jun at the back door. "You shouldn't have bothered locking it," he says, pinning Jun against the door with his shoulder and snapping handcuffs around his wrists.
Sho walks Jun back to the main area of the warehouse just as the other agents bring Ohno out from the back room. Ohno doesn't look particularly perturbed, just a little dazed.
"I'm going to kill you," Jun promises Nino, struggling against Sho's grip on his shoulder.
Nino smiles placidly. "Remember to write," he says. "Prison can be a lonely place."
"Kato," Sho says, nodding at Nino. "Put his anklet back on and stay with him while I get this priss in the paddywagon."
Kato appears from behind the agents with Ohno and does as he's asked. Nino doesn't say anything as Kato snaps the anklet on him, just looks over at Ohno. "Sorry," he says, and means it.
Ohno smiles. "It's okay. I was rooting for you anyway."
Nino wants to ask what he means, but the agents lead him outside before he can form the words. "What a strange man," Kato says, interrupting Nino's thoughts.
"What makes you say that?"
"He knew we were there, but didn't try to run or anything. He just said 'hello', put down his paintbrushes, and held out his wrists for the cuffs." Kato shrugs, and Nino can see a shiver run down his spine.
"Well, you don't have anything on him. I'd be pretty calm, too."
"What do you mean? We have the painting and everything."
Sho returns that moment, clapping a hand on Nino's shoulder so hard he almost jumps out of his skin. "He's right," he says, sounding hurt to admit it. "Making a copy isn't illegal, and we have a tape of him saying he didn't know Matsumoto's plans."
"He could have been lying," Kato points out, but Sho shrugs.
"We have no proof. And he has no priors. Despite his reputation, this is the first time anyone's ever caught Ohno Satoshi anywhere near a crime - attempted or otherwise. I think I can be happy with that."
Nino grins; he loves it when he and Sho agree on something, because it makes him feel as though he's one step closer to corrupting him. "Shall we go out to celebrate, then? I know this wonderful cocktail bar. It's a little out of my radius, but -"
"No," Sho interrupts, steering Nino out of the warehouse. "I am going to bed and to sleep, and you are getting back within your radius and staying there."
Nino's grin disappears. "You really know how to bring a mood down, don't you?"
Kato snorts in laughter, but stops when Sho glares at him. "Oh, hey," he says, changing the subject quickly. "Where did Aiba go?"
Nishikido approaches the three of them as they exit the warehouse. "I had a couple of agents search the perimeter and the inside, but nobody's seen him."
Nino smiles smugly at Kato. "See? Ninja."
"Call them back," Sho says with a shrug. "We don't need Aiba. Though I would like to know how he got caught at Jun's apartment. That's not exactly ninja-like." Sho looks pointedly at Nino, who holds up his hands in innocence.
"All I told him to do was let me know when Jun was back at his apartment."
Sho doesn't look convinced, but lets it go. "I guess it worked out in the end," he says, closing the subject there. "Kato, Nishikido, good work on response time. I'll see you tomorrow morning for paperwork."
Kato fights a grimace, and Nishikido visibly shudders, but they both nod in resignation and head to the van with the other agents. Sho turns to Nino, only now letting go of his shoulder. "As for you, Ninomiya, I'm driving you home and you are staying there."
"Please tell me you'll be watching my anklet coordinates as you fall sleep," Nino teases, batting his eyelashes.
Sho's mouth quirks in a smile, but he doesn't respond, pushing him towards the car. "Come on, stop wasting time."
---
Aiba greets Nino at his apartment later with a flushed but cheerful face and two over-filled glasses of wine. "Congratulations!" he says, wrapping an arm around Nino's shoulders, subsequently smashing Nino's face into his chest.
"Thank you," Nino mumbles into Aiba's shirt, extracting himself carefully with the glass of wine in his hand. "But I'm not sure I'm happy being the one to expose Ohno Satoshi to the world."
Aiba blows a raspberry in dismissal, pulling Nino to the table and sitting down. "Are you kidding? You've just got him so much more work now that people know what he looks like. And that he exists."
Nino shrugs, loosening his tie before he takes a sip of wine. "Maybe he was better as a myth."
"Was he?" Aiba asks, tucking his legs onto the chair. "You met him. You talked to him. Was he better as a myth, or as a person?"
Nino considers the question for a moment, the wine relaxing his bones into the chair. His mind tracks across his memory of the painting first, the impeccable detail and brilliant brush work, before leading back to the first glimpse he got of Ohno, a serene figure bathed in a warm incandescent glow of light. He sighs, and Aiba giggles before he can say anything to cover it.
"You fell for him, didn't you?" Aiba accuses, brandishing his wine glass at Nino.
"He's a brilliant forger," Nino concedes. "I admire his work. And to be honest, I'm a little jealous of his talent. If I had even half his skill...." But this path of thought is best left untrodden, and Nino shakes his head. "He's an artist. I'm a con. Never the 'twain shall meet."
Aiba snorts, speaking into his wine glass. "I can't believe you went through high school and university and only now are you going through your angst-ridden poetry phase."
Nino throws the first thing that comes into his hand - luckily for Aiba, it's a napkin - and Aiba giggles and makes the wine at his lips bubble. "I can't believe you didn't even finish university and are still a raving lush."
Aiba laughs, pulling his wine glass away and placing it safely on the table. "I love you too, Nino."
Nino smirks, but doesn't say anything in return. They talk into the night about nothing important - reliving an argument about Robert Ludlum they've had many times - before Aiba ends up falling asleep mid-rant. Nino deposits him on the couch before heading to bed. Most days for Nino end the same, but only every now and then does he fall in love.