A lot on my mind
Do you believe in self-fulfilling prophecies? One of my best friends wrote this in an end-of-summer entry (which this, btw, is decidedly not; there are only a few days but my summer is FAR from over):
"Starting thursday, we'll go back to living our parallel lives rather than basically the same one"
So Tiff indeed went back to Bing on me, and we had perhaps the happiest farewell Thursday morning in front of the infamous Lake Ronkonkoma. And no sooner does she do this that the paralellisms of our two lives make themselves known. SO FCK'N WEIRD hahaha. I love this girl!
Describing my mood right now is incredibly difficult, so of course I'm going to try to do it. I feel conflicted, about a lot of things. About this ridiculous guy, about going back to school, about [and I know we all are feeling this one right now] my major, about this summer rapidly coming to a close. There is a bittersweet nature to all of these topics right now, and for whatever reason I'm freaking out just a little bit right now.
Yesterday, Tina, J.Lai and I went for pizza and then visited Salmon at work, and then Kelly to say au revoir before she left. Whatever kind of craziness might be taking place, having people to stand by you and keep you [at least a little] grounded is always very nice. :-) I am gonna miss good pizza, and I am really gonna miss these people. Ahhh, so torn!
Then there are the elements of complete ridiculousness that threaten to make me crazy yet also ecstatic. Wherever I am years from now, wherever we stand in just a few months from now, there is something classic and entirely unforgettable about speeding across the Robert Moses Causeway towards the ocean at 3am with the windows down, blasting Tool. Cette vie folle indeed. I've been taught to be a skeptic, and to be especially skeptical of high amounts of that decieving thing called charm, but trying to discern between what is genuine and what isn't is EXTREMELY difficult. And I'm still shaking my head in disbelief wondering, 'Where the HELL did this come from?' So is he.
"Oh, life."