(no subject)
Chap II!
Title:What I Keep For Myself
Chapter: II
Author: nishibi
Pairing: Heiderich x Edward
Rating: G for now
Disclaimer: not mine.
Note: Well, chap. II seems a bit longer than the first one ^^. Still the same warnings than the previous chapter ^^;, apart from alcohol. Enjoy!
. What I Keep For Myself .
Chapter Two
The sun was already down when Edward opened (painfully) his eyes, his eyelashes stuck together with dried tears. He blinked twice, his sleepy gaze blinded by the last light drops the day offered. Releasing the pillow, he rolled on his other side, yawning, and met Alfons' sleeping body face-to-face.
The golden blonde kept from screaming in surprise and made a strangled sound instead, and blushed shyly when he felt the German's arm surrounding his waist.
It wasn't unusual for both of them to sleep curled around each other, both in need of a warmth that memories couldn't give. It was Edward who came in Alfons' bed first. He had nightmares, or rather memories, and each night was made of sorrow and useless wrath. Edward said that he needed to feel a heat against his, as he was used to sleep with his brother. The tall boy agreed, as long as it stopped his nightmares (Ed had the bad habit to wake up in the middle of the night, screaming names Alfons sometimes recognized).
At first it was only sleeping side-by-side, but soon they slept in each other's arms, feeling a familiar breath on their neck ; and Edward was now only pretending to need a brother's warmth, he knew it.
All he needed was Alfons. Alfons' heat, Alfons' scent, Alfons' breath, Alfons' arms.
Each night was impatiently waited by the small blonde, but that need was unavowed, neither to Alfons, neither to himself.
Edward refused to accept his growing feelings towards his roommate, neither wanted he to see them.
But sometimes that cuddling need became an urge, and he allowed himself to slip into the bed near to his...friend, who always welcomed him with open arms and a large smile.
Alfons never mentioned what happened on rest times, as if all ceased to exist right when he left the bed.
There wasn't any other physical tenderness between them, except sometimes, when they both sat on the big leather couch to read. They were sitting in the nearly same pose, resting the book on one knee, legs crossed (or not), the other hand on the couch.
And sometimes, sometimes those hands touched.
When it happened for the first time, as he hadn't felt Alfons moving his hand away, Edward had thrown the taller boy panicked looks, a ridiculous panic it is true, but he had really been lost as what he should have done. Moving his hand away? Alfons wasn't. Letting them touch? Would it let him know about his tormented feelings? So Edward had thrown his friend desperate looks, doing his best to know what attitude to adopt. As the younger boy wasn't paying attention, looking normally calm and such, Edward had done his best to hide his trouble and tried to read. But he had only stared at his book, his cheeks and ears burning, his gaze as blank as his mind was full.
Since then, it had become as natural as the night time cuddling.
And the two blondes lived a normal day-to-day life, if "normal" is the appropriate word to talk about boxes of limbs, parallel universes, parallel lives, and Edward.
--
This morning, Edward woke up alone, again.
Though his awakening had been rather nice (no headache because of alcohol, no "fucking birds yelling like cows" outside, no blinding sun), the empty bed set him in a kind of sad mood.
It's not that he didn't like waking up alone -he had done that many times before after all-, it's that he loved waking up by Alfons' side way too much. Mornings near to him were always sweet and delightful. He would delicately escape from the smaller boy's embrace, place a gentle kiss on his forehead and whisper "good morning"s in his ear, stroking the top of his head. Then he would hold Edward close until he was fully awoken. That had the ability to set him in a particularly good mood.
But this morning, Alfons had left before.
Edward sat up, looking at the empty flat shrouded in orangey morning lights with a rather dazed glance.
He looked at the clock for a few seconds that he needed to understand the meaning of these arrows above these numbers. 9:25. His friend wouldn't be long now. He stood up and got dressed, put his chair against the wall, nearby the window, and started to watch silently the steaming roofs of the still sleeping city.
A typical Munich winter morning. A light white mist filling the streets, slowly disappearing as the sun rose in the pale blue sky. Edward admitted that Munich was a beautiful city, or at least what he could see of the city from where he was.
"- Hi there! "
The door slammed. Edward turned to face his roommate.
"- Hallo. What 'd you bring?
- Croissants, and today's newspaper, the pale blonde said, setting the table.
- Croissant's aren't cheap. If you go on like this we're gonna be ruined. Hand over the newspaper.
- We have a little of money for now, we should make the most of it. And, remember, you must never miss a breakfast, it's the most impor-
- You should keep it for when we don't, instead. And I've missed lotsa breakfasts, and yet, look, I'm still here."
Alfons sighed loudly and gave up. He made a mental note never to argue with Ed. Especially in the morning. He was rather moody (something Alfons did not get, after all he was in a tip-top shape at dawn).
Edward was reading the newspaper, lips moving as fast as his eyes were sliding on the paper.
"- Always talking 'bout Nazis like if they were holy guys. I saw 'em. They're not holy to everybody. You, Germans, should keep an eye on them rather than believing them blindly.
- Well, I don't know. You know, I think they can do something for Germany. Look in what hole we've been since Versailles' treaty : unemployment and stuff. We really need something to get us out of here. But it's true they're not the ones I'd follow blindly. Something in their way of acting smells really bad. And I saw many of them beating up innocent people. I don't want my country to fall into fascism, but Germany need to hold on and look up. And it's rather desperate.
- To me they're all sick bastards.
- Er-, they aren't all clean and such, but they are the only ones that can make things move. Let's keep an eye on them, as you said. A big one. I'm thinking of my country, here, and- ah. I don't know what to think.
Alfons turned his head to look at the window, a confused look on his face, and sighed.
Edward bit his croissant and chewed it for a few seconds, looking puzzled.
- Look, I'll tell you what I think". He swallowed loudly." I'm not German, but I did lend an ear to all their blah-blah, and I believe they can do something for Germany. I believe they can do some good things, but I believe they can mostly do bad things. And for 'em, making Germany look up means making war. Not sure it's the best way, not at all, especially after all the deceases you said the First War brought. Plus I just don't get what's their problem with Jews. They're human beings, as we all are. They don't have nothing special.
- Jews, Gypsies, handicapped, homosexuals..."
That rang a bell.
Edward decided to drop that uneasy subject to run to this door his roommate had opened.
He hid his face behind the newspaper, as if he were barely interested by the discussion he was about to start.
"- Homosexuals?
- Yes, homosexual too. In fact anybody who don't fit with their ideal. And they are lots of people who don't.
- And, er- what's wrong with homosexuals ?"
Edward was brick red behind his newspaper, his voice sounding falsely neglecting.
"- Well, nothing more than the others.
- Even if they are Aryan?
- Yes. They don't care. Sodomites have always been rejected by the Christian Church anyway. And morals." Alfons showed a small smirk.
"- And... You think it's wrong too?"
Alfons' smirk grew much bigger when he turned his head to see his friend, still hidden behind his newspaper.
"- You're asking for my point of view?"
Edward was breathing harder and harder. It's never been that hot in this house, he thought.
"- Well, I don't see anything wrong in loving people the same gender we are. After all it's love we're talking about, something everybody talks about, is looking for, is hoping to get, the principal subject of books, songs, even movies... Looks like our lives are ruled by love. So, I don't see why anything related to love would be wrong. And, about the attraction and desire stuff and such, nothing wrong either. I mean, anybody is free to feel desire towards anybody he wants. Our freedom stops were others' starts, so as long as our sexual orientation isn't a bother to anybody, no problem. I feel the same way towards homosexuals than towards heterosexuals."
Edward's breath was slowing down, but something was still tormenting his mind.
"- And, guys are so attractive after all."
He had said that with a soft voice, as if he was talking of a lover.
Edward put violently his newspaper on the table, staring at his friend with wide open eyes.
The newspaper knocked a cup of café over, whose content spilled all over the pages.
"- You were reading it the wrong way up anyway" Alfons said in an amused voice.
"- W… Was I? I'm sorry I saw a fly or something flying around and… I…
- You? Freaked out by a fly?
- I'VE BEEN SURPRISED!"
The small boy was looking at his friend with a furious face, and he looked exactly like a 5-year-old pouting kid.
Alfons was, him, looking back at him with folded eyes and a huge grin, half mocking, half curious.
He sat on the table, near to Ed.
"- Why? What about you?
- Hu? What? What 'bout me?
- Well, homosexuality. What do you think about it?
- Ho, er-, me? Er- nothing. I mean, like you. I agree. Yeah. You're right.
- … Well, then it's perfect."
Edward didn't seem to want to pursue the conversation, so Alfons, disappointed, picked the plate and cups up and started to wash them up.
"- You'll clean up the table, please?"
Since that, none of them said a single word.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Wow, the suspense!!!! .. er... *lame* *hides*
Chap. III on its way ^^
Hope you enjoyed ^^!
crossposted on blau_und_gold
Title:What I Keep For Myself
Chapter: II
Author: nishibi
Pairing: Heiderich x Edward
Rating: G for now
Disclaimer: not mine.
Note: Well, chap. II seems a bit longer than the first one ^^. Still the same warnings than the previous chapter ^^;, apart from alcohol. Enjoy!
. What I Keep For Myself .
Chapter Two
The sun was already down when Edward opened (painfully) his eyes, his eyelashes stuck together with dried tears. He blinked twice, his sleepy gaze blinded by the last light drops the day offered. Releasing the pillow, he rolled on his other side, yawning, and met Alfons' sleeping body face-to-face.
The golden blonde kept from screaming in surprise and made a strangled sound instead, and blushed shyly when he felt the German's arm surrounding his waist.
It wasn't unusual for both of them to sleep curled around each other, both in need of a warmth that memories couldn't give. It was Edward who came in Alfons' bed first. He had nightmares, or rather memories, and each night was made of sorrow and useless wrath. Edward said that he needed to feel a heat against his, as he was used to sleep with his brother. The tall boy agreed, as long as it stopped his nightmares (Ed had the bad habit to wake up in the middle of the night, screaming names Alfons sometimes recognized).
At first it was only sleeping side-by-side, but soon they slept in each other's arms, feeling a familiar breath on their neck ; and Edward was now only pretending to need a brother's warmth, he knew it.
All he needed was Alfons. Alfons' heat, Alfons' scent, Alfons' breath, Alfons' arms.
Each night was impatiently waited by the small blonde, but that need was unavowed, neither to Alfons, neither to himself.
Edward refused to accept his growing feelings towards his roommate, neither wanted he to see them.
But sometimes that cuddling need became an urge, and he allowed himself to slip into the bed near to his...friend, who always welcomed him with open arms and a large smile.
Alfons never mentioned what happened on rest times, as if all ceased to exist right when he left the bed.
There wasn't any other physical tenderness between them, except sometimes, when they both sat on the big leather couch to read. They were sitting in the nearly same pose, resting the book on one knee, legs crossed (or not), the other hand on the couch.
And sometimes, sometimes those hands touched.
When it happened for the first time, as he hadn't felt Alfons moving his hand away, Edward had thrown the taller boy panicked looks, a ridiculous panic it is true, but he had really been lost as what he should have done. Moving his hand away? Alfons wasn't. Letting them touch? Would it let him know about his tormented feelings? So Edward had thrown his friend desperate looks, doing his best to know what attitude to adopt. As the younger boy wasn't paying attention, looking normally calm and such, Edward had done his best to hide his trouble and tried to read. But he had only stared at his book, his cheeks and ears burning, his gaze as blank as his mind was full.
Since then, it had become as natural as the night time cuddling.
And the two blondes lived a normal day-to-day life, if "normal" is the appropriate word to talk about boxes of limbs, parallel universes, parallel lives, and Edward.
--
This morning, Edward woke up alone, again.
Though his awakening had been rather nice (no headache because of alcohol, no "fucking birds yelling like cows" outside, no blinding sun), the empty bed set him in a kind of sad mood.
It's not that he didn't like waking up alone -he had done that many times before after all-, it's that he loved waking up by Alfons' side way too much. Mornings near to him were always sweet and delightful. He would delicately escape from the smaller boy's embrace, place a gentle kiss on his forehead and whisper "good morning"s in his ear, stroking the top of his head. Then he would hold Edward close until he was fully awoken. That had the ability to set him in a particularly good mood.
But this morning, Alfons had left before.
Edward sat up, looking at the empty flat shrouded in orangey morning lights with a rather dazed glance.
He looked at the clock for a few seconds that he needed to understand the meaning of these arrows above these numbers. 9:25. His friend wouldn't be long now. He stood up and got dressed, put his chair against the wall, nearby the window, and started to watch silently the steaming roofs of the still sleeping city.
A typical Munich winter morning. A light white mist filling the streets, slowly disappearing as the sun rose in the pale blue sky. Edward admitted that Munich was a beautiful city, or at least what he could see of the city from where he was.
"- Hi there! "
The door slammed. Edward turned to face his roommate.
"- Hallo. What 'd you bring?
- Croissants, and today's newspaper, the pale blonde said, setting the table.
- Croissant's aren't cheap. If you go on like this we're gonna be ruined. Hand over the newspaper.
- We have a little of money for now, we should make the most of it. And, remember, you must never miss a breakfast, it's the most impor-
- You should keep it for when we don't, instead. And I've missed lotsa breakfasts, and yet, look, I'm still here."
Alfons sighed loudly and gave up. He made a mental note never to argue with Ed. Especially in the morning. He was rather moody (something Alfons did not get, after all he was in a tip-top shape at dawn).
Edward was reading the newspaper, lips moving as fast as his eyes were sliding on the paper.
"- Always talking 'bout Nazis like if they were holy guys. I saw 'em. They're not holy to everybody. You, Germans, should keep an eye on them rather than believing them blindly.
- Well, I don't know. You know, I think they can do something for Germany. Look in what hole we've been since Versailles' treaty : unemployment and stuff. We really need something to get us out of here. But it's true they're not the ones I'd follow blindly. Something in their way of acting smells really bad. And I saw many of them beating up innocent people. I don't want my country to fall into fascism, but Germany need to hold on and look up. And it's rather desperate.
- To me they're all sick bastards.
- Er-, they aren't all clean and such, but they are the only ones that can make things move. Let's keep an eye on them, as you said. A big one. I'm thinking of my country, here, and- ah. I don't know what to think.
Alfons turned his head to look at the window, a confused look on his face, and sighed.
Edward bit his croissant and chewed it for a few seconds, looking puzzled.
- Look, I'll tell you what I think". He swallowed loudly." I'm not German, but I did lend an ear to all their blah-blah, and I believe they can do something for Germany. I believe they can do some good things, but I believe they can mostly do bad things. And for 'em, making Germany look up means making war. Not sure it's the best way, not at all, especially after all the deceases you said the First War brought. Plus I just don't get what's their problem with Jews. They're human beings, as we all are. They don't have nothing special.
- Jews, Gypsies, handicapped, homosexuals..."
That rang a bell.
Edward decided to drop that uneasy subject to run to this door his roommate had opened.
He hid his face behind the newspaper, as if he were barely interested by the discussion he was about to start.
"- Homosexuals?
- Yes, homosexual too. In fact anybody who don't fit with their ideal. And they are lots of people who don't.
- And, er- what's wrong with homosexuals ?"
Edward was brick red behind his newspaper, his voice sounding falsely neglecting.
"- Well, nothing more than the others.
- Even if they are Aryan?
- Yes. They don't care. Sodomites have always been rejected by the Christian Church anyway. And morals." Alfons showed a small smirk.
"- And... You think it's wrong too?"
Alfons' smirk grew much bigger when he turned his head to see his friend, still hidden behind his newspaper.
"- You're asking for my point of view?"
Edward was breathing harder and harder. It's never been that hot in this house, he thought.
"- Well, I don't see anything wrong in loving people the same gender we are. After all it's love we're talking about, something everybody talks about, is looking for, is hoping to get, the principal subject of books, songs, even movies... Looks like our lives are ruled by love. So, I don't see why anything related to love would be wrong. And, about the attraction and desire stuff and such, nothing wrong either. I mean, anybody is free to feel desire towards anybody he wants. Our freedom stops were others' starts, so as long as our sexual orientation isn't a bother to anybody, no problem. I feel the same way towards homosexuals than towards heterosexuals."
Edward's breath was slowing down, but something was still tormenting his mind.
"- And, guys are so attractive after all."
He had said that with a soft voice, as if he was talking of a lover.
Edward put violently his newspaper on the table, staring at his friend with wide open eyes.
The newspaper knocked a cup of café over, whose content spilled all over the pages.
"- You were reading it the wrong way up anyway" Alfons said in an amused voice.
"- W… Was I? I'm sorry I saw a fly or something flying around and… I…
- You? Freaked out by a fly?
- I'VE BEEN SURPRISED!"
The small boy was looking at his friend with a furious face, and he looked exactly like a 5-year-old pouting kid.
Alfons was, him, looking back at him with folded eyes and a huge grin, half mocking, half curious.
He sat on the table, near to Ed.
"- Why? What about you?
- Hu? What? What 'bout me?
- Well, homosexuality. What do you think about it?
- Ho, er-, me? Er- nothing. I mean, like you. I agree. Yeah. You're right.
- … Well, then it's perfect."
Edward didn't seem to want to pursue the conversation, so Alfons, disappointed, picked the plate and cups up and started to wash them up.
"- You'll clean up the table, please?"
Since that, none of them said a single word.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Wow, the suspense!!!! .. er... *lame* *hides*
Chap. III on its way ^^
Hope you enjoyed ^^!
crossposted on blau_und_gold