I'm not upset. I'm just lonely.

[nitrokin]

When walking around the supermarket today, I felt this urge to get something small and enjoyable for someone I care about. That is one thing I miss about dating or having a boyfriend. Just picking up something that would make them smile, even if it's a "thinking of you" card, which I did from time to time

Comments

[bel_ebat]

sometimes i have a difficult time understanding that too. but i think it's because i naturally reach out far more to strangers who are awkward or withdrawn or really shy and so if we were to get into a relationship or even a hookup on the spot, i would probably have to initiate it. and i'm no good at that at all.

it's funny though because most of my really close friends as well as the people i've dated are complete extroverts and very blunt- the complete opposite of me. sometimes i wonder how we ever managed to get close.

[nitrokin]

You are describing my dating life to a tee. I, too, lean toward the more introverted, socially shy and then it just becomes something I don't want because of that awkwardness of having to suddenly be the leader. I just think I was attracted to them due to my own insecurities, so they seemed less threatening.

And, YEP, all my boyfriends were very opinionated and outwardly confident (even if they weren't inwardly so). I felt more comfortable here, because at least there was a stronger ego that took over when I didn't have the confidence to do so.

[bel_ebat]

yes, i'm definitely not comfortable being the more aggressive one, or the teacher. what i want most of all is to be a comfort- but i really only feel that more intense (or "difficult") people are worth my time/patience. because i really admire their fierceness and integrity, but i love bringing out the softness in a person, too.

[nitrokin]

Completely agree. I never thought I would appreciate the silent challenge.