Just An Update
( Feeling Odd Again )
Well, this time I'm not feeling weird simply because of where I am staying. No, this is the typical mental weird that is quite common for me. Not that just because it's common means it sucks less. It's just that at times, I will feel emotions, or memories, or thoughts that just put me in this mood. I don't understand it, and I don't know why. All I can do is assume what the reasoning is, and try to deal with it.
My theory on it, is that it is just me either wanting to do something, or me trying to figure something out. It's a very vague explanation, and doesn't feel like the right one, but it's all I've ever been able to come up with.
Somehow, I've done something to my conscious/thoughts that is causing this. Either I have been trying to analyze myself so much and so deeply that I'm in a perpetual state of self appointed confusion, and thus analysis, or I've divided my right-brained thoughts from my left-brained thoughts so much that there are times when my thoughts only occur on one side, and then fight to become compatible with the other side.
Again, I really don't know what is going on... and I don't know how to feel about it. It always feels like a kind of push, or want to do a certain something, and that something is usually something that I want to do anyways; it's just that it always seems too untimely for me to do anything about.
( Another Online Revival )
I feel like I am nearing another online revival. I keep wanting to start using my FurAffinity and DeviantArt accounts again, and despite not being able to draw yet, I can see a way to do that. If nothing else I can still favorite artwork and just talk/comment at people. I rather liked it when I was doing that.
The only that that has really kept me from starting is first my family (Since a good portion of FA art is mature), and also the amount of time it will take to get everything setup the way I would like it. All I need is time feeling comfortable on a computer. That kind of time is difficult to find around here.
I may start drawing, regardless of anything though. Just recently going through my notebooks and such, I realized that I've already draw a hell of a lot of art, most not good, but not all bad. I just need to start doing it again... no exceptions or excuses. I still need to read through Drawing On The Right Side Of The Brain, but that's not an excuse.
( LJ Story Idea Rough Draft )
Just thinking of stuff to write about, and I remembered this idea I had. Quite simply, I want to use LJ and it's journal system as a medium for writing a story. I'm trying to decided if I want it to be setup, where the story is told through realistically written journal entries, or if each entry is a chapter for the story.
Either way, I think it would be a great way for me to start my ideas. Once again, I just need time enough to figure it out, and do it.
( Of My Situation )
I talked with Mom and Rod today, and after the talk, I've decided to stay here for a good while, to help myself move forward where I want to go. I just need to get a car to be able to travel to different events, and get a computer so I can start really moving my online life ahead.
First thing I need is a job, and then I will see what I can do.
Money money money. I don't want to be wealthy or have money... but it's the only way I can do what I want/need and be free. I want to find a way of making money that suits me best, after I get a mainstream job. I have to balance out realistic and desired.
Well, this time I'm not feeling weird simply because of where I am staying. No, this is the typical mental weird that is quite common for me. Not that just because it's common means it sucks less. It's just that at times, I will feel emotions, or memories, or thoughts that just put me in this mood. I don't understand it, and I don't know why. All I can do is assume what the reasoning is, and try to deal with it.
My theory on it, is that it is just me either wanting to do something, or me trying to figure something out. It's a very vague explanation, and doesn't feel like the right one, but it's all I've ever been able to come up with.
Somehow, I've done something to my conscious/thoughts that is causing this. Either I have been trying to analyze myself so much and so deeply that I'm in a perpetual state of self appointed confusion, and thus analysis, or I've divided my right-brained thoughts from my left-brained thoughts so much that there are times when my thoughts only occur on one side, and then fight to become compatible with the other side.
Again, I really don't know what is going on... and I don't know how to feel about it. It always feels like a kind of push, or want to do a certain something, and that something is usually something that I want to do anyways; it's just that it always seems too untimely for me to do anything about.
( Another Online Revival )
I feel like I am nearing another online revival. I keep wanting to start using my FurAffinity and DeviantArt accounts again, and despite not being able to draw yet, I can see a way to do that. If nothing else I can still favorite artwork and just talk/comment at people. I rather liked it when I was doing that.
The only that that has really kept me from starting is first my family (Since a good portion of FA art is mature), and also the amount of time it will take to get everything setup the way I would like it. All I need is time feeling comfortable on a computer. That kind of time is difficult to find around here.
I may start drawing, regardless of anything though. Just recently going through my notebooks and such, I realized that I've already draw a hell of a lot of art, most not good, but not all bad. I just need to start doing it again... no exceptions or excuses. I still need to read through Drawing On The Right Side Of The Brain, but that's not an excuse.
( LJ Story Idea Rough Draft )
Just thinking of stuff to write about, and I remembered this idea I had. Quite simply, I want to use LJ and it's journal system as a medium for writing a story. I'm trying to decided if I want it to be setup, where the story is told through realistically written journal entries, or if each entry is a chapter for the story.
Either way, I think it would be a great way for me to start my ideas. Once again, I just need time enough to figure it out, and do it.
( Of My Situation )
I talked with Mom and Rod today, and after the talk, I've decided to stay here for a good while, to help myself move forward where I want to go. I just need to get a car to be able to travel to different events, and get a computer so I can start really moving my online life ahead.
First thing I need is a job, and then I will see what I can do.
Money money money. I don't want to be wealthy or have money... but it's the only way I can do what I want/need and be free. I want to find a way of making money that suits me best, after I get a mainstream job. I have to balance out realistic and desired.