And it goes on and on and on...
So winter has left us and spring jumped out of its hideout. Everything seems to be a bit brighter and warmer. But nothing has really changed... Has it?
Everything feels a bit different... But I'm still doing the same things in the same way every day I've been doing all the time. I wake up, go to school, return home, sleep, get online, do my homework, sleep and wake up.
Uusually, I don't mind. I'm not afraid of changes but I'm not seeking them out either. But if I think about it... This monotony is driving me crazy. Imagining I'll live this way another... ~4 years 'til I either study or work, and then when I got a job I'll work my ass off for the rest of my life.
And yes, this leads us to the age old question about the meaning of life. What are we waking up for? What are we working for? What makes life worth living?
In a biological way, the only point in a human's life is reproducing. So, if I decide to be a virgin my whole life, may I just quit life?
Of course life is offering much more. But I can't see that 'more' right now. I won't jump down the bridge, it's just that life is boring. Boring boring boring boring.
Of course I could easily change that. And I got enough stuff to do too. I'm just so damn lazy. Lazy and numb and dumb and annoyed and bitchy and not there for anyone. At the moment, I can't take more than, lemme say... three people at the same time. I'm sorry, really, I am. I'll buy myself a new brain cause my current one seems to be pretty dead.
Psha. I always only complain, rant and apologize. But it never changes anything. I never change anything.
When did we start to cry about the past? When did we start to be afraid of the future? Why are we scared if we KNOW there's nothing to be scared about?
It bothers me. It bothers me all. And I can't change it, I won't change it, I don't even want to.
Maybe that's what bothers me the most.
But I'll hug my bed now, wake up, rewrite my Physics exercise book, try to keep away from teh intarnet, sleep again and just continue running around on the track.
So long and good night.
Everything feels a bit different... But I'm still doing the same things in the same way every day I've been doing all the time. I wake up, go to school, return home, sleep, get online, do my homework, sleep and wake up.
Uusually, I don't mind. I'm not afraid of changes but I'm not seeking them out either. But if I think about it... This monotony is driving me crazy. Imagining I'll live this way another... ~4 years 'til I either study or work, and then when I got a job I'll work my ass off for the rest of my life.
And yes, this leads us to the age old question about the meaning of life. What are we waking up for? What are we working for? What makes life worth living?
In a biological way, the only point in a human's life is reproducing. So, if I decide to be a virgin my whole life, may I just quit life?
Of course life is offering much more. But I can't see that 'more' right now. I won't jump down the bridge, it's just that life is boring. Boring boring boring boring.
Of course I could easily change that. And I got enough stuff to do too. I'm just so damn lazy. Lazy and numb and dumb and annoyed and bitchy and not there for anyone. At the moment, I can't take more than, lemme say... three people at the same time. I'm sorry, really, I am. I'll buy myself a new brain cause my current one seems to be pretty dead.
Psha. I always only complain, rant and apologize. But it never changes anything. I never change anything.
When did we start to cry about the past? When did we start to be afraid of the future? Why are we scared if we KNOW there's nothing to be scared about?
It bothers me. It bothers me all. And I can't change it, I won't change it, I don't even want to.
Maybe that's what bothers me the most.
But I'll hug my bed now, wake up, rewrite my Physics exercise book, try to keep away from teh intarnet, sleep again and just continue running around on the track.
So long and good night.