SGA: Niceties (PG-13), McKay/Sheppard.
John and Rodney are playing nice. The Atlantiens are properly terrified.
Teyla sat down beside John in the commissary and eyed the military rations with distaste. "This is proper food on your world?" she asked, looking vaguely horrified.
Across from her, Ford grinned. "Nah. Just for us. Only the best for us military grunts."
"Who you calling a grunt?" John asked, but he was grinning. "I'm a pilot. You're a grunt."
Ford ducked his head to hide his smile. "Yes, sir."
Teyla watched them with a sly grin, before getting back to her question. "So this is the best there is…on your world?"
"No, that was sarcasm," John explained. "Lieutenant Ford here was trying to be funny."
"On our world," Ford explained, "you're supposed to follow the example your leaders set."
John laughed. "That's cute, Ford. Really."
Rodney wandered up to the table, looking reserved, and lowered slowly beside Ford. "Teyla, Ford," he said, before glancing up at John. "Major Sheppard."
John sat a little straighter. "Good morning, Doctor McKay. Did you sleep well?"
"Oh, yes. Quite well, thank you, Major," McKay said, a grin slipping up and back almost too quick to catch. "And you?"
John grinned widely. "I had a wonderful night, thank you."
"You're welcome," McKay said, lifting his coffee cup to take a drink.
Teyla watched them, looking more confused than she had when they had been explaining to her the role of MREs on Earth. "Are you well, Doctor McKay?" she asked.
He glanced at her, before saying dismissively, "I'm fine."
She frowned but let it go, sharing a look with Ford before returning her eyes dubiously down towards the food.
"Major Sheppard," McKay said kindly. "Would you please pass me the Sweet and Low?"
"It would be my pleasure, Doctor McKay," Sheppard said, shooting him another grin, before grabbing a packet and placing it in his hand.
"Thank you ever so much, Major Sheppard," Rodney said.
"Oh, it was no trouble at all, Doctor McKay," John said quickly.
Teyla watched them for a moment before taking a deep breath. "Are you sure you're both alright? You are acting very strangely."
John looked over at her. "What makes you say that?" he asked.
She bit her lip, not quite sure how to phrase it. "Well, you're being nice to each other," she explained, and John and Rodney both looked taken aback.
"I resent the implications of that," Rodney snapped, before smiling sweetly over at John. "I have nothing but the utmost respect for Major Sheppard."
John returned the smile in full. "And I certainly have nothing but admiration for our esteemed Dr. McKay."
Ford looked vaguely sick. "Okay. Teyla's right. You're both freaking me out."
"Should we dine somewhere else?" Teyla asked Ford cautiously, and he nodded immediately.
Sheppard and McKay watched them go with identical bemused expressions. "What's with them?" John asked.
Rodney shrugged, and dug into his macaroni and cheese.
* * * *
"The MALP picked up pictures of ruins, but no signs of recent life," Weir was explaining. "Our linguists are unsure if the ruins were left by the Ancients at this time, but they believe it's worth a closer look. Sergeant Bates has offered to take the mission, but I thought I should check with you two first. Doctor McKay, I thought you might want a closer look, maybe you could see if the Ancients were there, if they left any technology…" Weir trailed off, a little disturbed by the two calmly silent stares aimed at her.
"That sounds like a wonderful opportunity," McKay said, before turning to look at John. "What do you think, Major Sheppard?"
John smiled. "If you want to go, we can go."
"I don't want to go if you don't want to go," Rodney said quickly.
"Well I would only go if you want to go," John said. He shifted a little. "If you want to go we'll go."
"You don't really want to go," McKay said. "So I don't want to go." He turned to Weir. "Give the mission to Bates, would you, Elizabeth?"
"I-" she started to protest, not quite sure what to say, but trailed off again, caught by the spectacle of John Sheppard standing and then holding out a hand to pull Rodney up. They left the room together, still smiling, and she wondered if maybe she should send them both for physicals.
Something was obviously terribly wrong.
She headed back towards her office, pausing when she saw Teyla. "Teyla," she said, with a smile. "How are you?"
She smiled back, somewhat uncertainly. "I am well, Dr. Weir. Though I fear Doctor McKay and Major Sheppard are acting quite unlike themselves."
"You noticed that too, huh?" she asked. Teyla nodded and Weir frowned. "Well, we can hardly get on their case for being nice, can we?" she asked.
Teyla frowned. "I suppose not, but it is most unsettling."
Weir couldn't help but agree. She had negotiated peace treaties throughout all of Earth, and even she would never have attempted to get Rodney McKay and John Sheppard to play nice.
* * * *
Weir, Teyla, and Ford were eating lunch together, occasionally their gazes would slip to the other side of the room where McKay and Sheppard had been banished to eat alone. No one could stand the pleasantries, but they didn't stop simply because there were no witnesses.
They could tell from their expressions that they could be talking about nothing but the weather.
"Maybe they're pod people," Ford suggested helpfully. Weir gave him a withering glance, but Teyla leaned forward, interested.
"What are these…pod people?" she asked gravely. "And how do we fix them?"
Ford's eyes brightened. "Well, you see, pod people-"
"Lieutenant," Weir said warningly, before glancing at Teyla. "He's talking about a movie-fiction. McKay and Sheppard are not pod people."
Ford gave the two people in question a suspicious glance. "Don't be so sure."
Teyla smiled with understanding. "You were being…cute, again, yes?"
Ford laughed and Weir rolled her eyes. "I think I should send them to Doctor Beckett," she said.
Teyla frowned. "Perhaps they have simply found a way to get along."
Weir and Ford shared a glance. "I think you should send them to Doctor Beckett," Ford said, and Weir nodded.
* * * *
"Enough with the light already, Doc," Sheppard said irritably, pushing Carson's hands away.
Beckett frowned. "I thought Elizabeth sent you here because you were being overly nice."
"Doctor Weir sent us here for being nice?" John said incredulously. "Are you kidding me with this?"
"Stay still, please," Carson said, grabbing the Major's chin and shining the light in his eyes again. "Well, you're both fine," he said. "I'll know more once I get the blood work, but you seem to be acting like yourselves. You haven't felt ill?"
"We told you," McKay snapped from the other bed. "We're fine."
"Well," Carson said. "You can never be too careful here."
"Whatever," Sheppard said, before pausing and smiling over at McKay. "Would you like to join me for a meal, Doctor McKay?"
"It would be my pleasure, Major Sheppard," he said graciously.
Carson's mouth dropped open as they left, and he decided Elizabeth was definitely right to be concerned. That was just…wrong.
* * * *
Rodney McKay sighed and hit the chime on John's door. It opened almost immediately, and he stepped inside.
"Doctor McKay," John said with a smile. "What a pleasant surprise. What brings you here?"
"I think we need to talk," Rodney said, and with a sigh, John nodded and dropped down on his bed.
"I guess things have been a little strained lately," John admitted.
"I think Elizabeth is considering having us committed," Rodney said. "I just…we agreed we were going to act like nothing had happened, act casual, but we kind of-"
"Suck at it?" John asked.
"You noticed too?" Rodney said, relieved.
"Yeah. I'm a little worried how easily everyone is freaked out by me being nice, though. I'm not a jerk, am I?" John asked.
"No, not a jerk," Rodney said instantly. "I'm the jerk. You're the lovable yet sarcastic trouble maker."
"Lovable?" John asked wryly. "Why, Rodney, I didn't know you cared."
"I don't," he said, long-sufferingly. "I'm the jerk, remember?"
"I could hardly forget," John said wryly.
"So, ah, what are we going to do?" Rodney asked.
"You mean about how you tried to jump me?" John asked innocently.
Rodney bristled. "I did not try to jump you."
John shrugged. "Hey, it's not like anyone could blame you. I'm lovable. People tell me all the time."
Rodney narrowed his eyes. "I didn't jump on you. I…fell…"
"Conveniently with our mouths lined up?" John asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I never heard you complaining!" Rodney snapped defensively.
John shrugged. "I'm not complaining now. I wouldn't mind if you tripped more often."
Rodney's eyes went wide. "But I thought, I mean, we were going to act like nothing happened…"
"Yeah, well, that plan kind of backfired. The stuff of Broadway we are not. And anyway, I never said that I wanted that, I thought that was what you wanted." John leaned back casually.
Rodney paused, unsure about the signals he was getting. "So…do I…ah, still have to be nice?"
"Please don't," John said. "You were driving me nuts with the nice."
Rodney grinned, then walked over to him. "Well, I was better at nice than you."
John rolled his eyes. "You're a bastard, you know that?"
Rodney laughed. And then jumped him.
Teyla sat down beside John in the commissary and eyed the military rations with distaste. "This is proper food on your world?" she asked, looking vaguely horrified.
Across from her, Ford grinned. "Nah. Just for us. Only the best for us military grunts."
"Who you calling a grunt?" John asked, but he was grinning. "I'm a pilot. You're a grunt."
Ford ducked his head to hide his smile. "Yes, sir."
Teyla watched them with a sly grin, before getting back to her question. "So this is the best there is…on your world?"
"No, that was sarcasm," John explained. "Lieutenant Ford here was trying to be funny."
"On our world," Ford explained, "you're supposed to follow the example your leaders set."
John laughed. "That's cute, Ford. Really."
Rodney wandered up to the table, looking reserved, and lowered slowly beside Ford. "Teyla, Ford," he said, before glancing up at John. "Major Sheppard."
John sat a little straighter. "Good morning, Doctor McKay. Did you sleep well?"
"Oh, yes. Quite well, thank you, Major," McKay said, a grin slipping up and back almost too quick to catch. "And you?"
John grinned widely. "I had a wonderful night, thank you."
"You're welcome," McKay said, lifting his coffee cup to take a drink.
Teyla watched them, looking more confused than she had when they had been explaining to her the role of MREs on Earth. "Are you well, Doctor McKay?" she asked.
He glanced at her, before saying dismissively, "I'm fine."
She frowned but let it go, sharing a look with Ford before returning her eyes dubiously down towards the food.
"Major Sheppard," McKay said kindly. "Would you please pass me the Sweet and Low?"
"It would be my pleasure, Doctor McKay," Sheppard said, shooting him another grin, before grabbing a packet and placing it in his hand.
"Thank you ever so much, Major Sheppard," Rodney said.
"Oh, it was no trouble at all, Doctor McKay," John said quickly.
Teyla watched them for a moment before taking a deep breath. "Are you sure you're both alright? You are acting very strangely."
John looked over at her. "What makes you say that?" he asked.
She bit her lip, not quite sure how to phrase it. "Well, you're being nice to each other," she explained, and John and Rodney both looked taken aback.
"I resent the implications of that," Rodney snapped, before smiling sweetly over at John. "I have nothing but the utmost respect for Major Sheppard."
John returned the smile in full. "And I certainly have nothing but admiration for our esteemed Dr. McKay."
Ford looked vaguely sick. "Okay. Teyla's right. You're both freaking me out."
"Should we dine somewhere else?" Teyla asked Ford cautiously, and he nodded immediately.
Sheppard and McKay watched them go with identical bemused expressions. "What's with them?" John asked.
Rodney shrugged, and dug into his macaroni and cheese.
* * * *
"The MALP picked up pictures of ruins, but no signs of recent life," Weir was explaining. "Our linguists are unsure if the ruins were left by the Ancients at this time, but they believe it's worth a closer look. Sergeant Bates has offered to take the mission, but I thought I should check with you two first. Doctor McKay, I thought you might want a closer look, maybe you could see if the Ancients were there, if they left any technology…" Weir trailed off, a little disturbed by the two calmly silent stares aimed at her.
"That sounds like a wonderful opportunity," McKay said, before turning to look at John. "What do you think, Major Sheppard?"
John smiled. "If you want to go, we can go."
"I don't want to go if you don't want to go," Rodney said quickly.
"Well I would only go if you want to go," John said. He shifted a little. "If you want to go we'll go."
"You don't really want to go," McKay said. "So I don't want to go." He turned to Weir. "Give the mission to Bates, would you, Elizabeth?"
"I-" she started to protest, not quite sure what to say, but trailed off again, caught by the spectacle of John Sheppard standing and then holding out a hand to pull Rodney up. They left the room together, still smiling, and she wondered if maybe she should send them both for physicals.
Something was obviously terribly wrong.
She headed back towards her office, pausing when she saw Teyla. "Teyla," she said, with a smile. "How are you?"
She smiled back, somewhat uncertainly. "I am well, Dr. Weir. Though I fear Doctor McKay and Major Sheppard are acting quite unlike themselves."
"You noticed that too, huh?" she asked. Teyla nodded and Weir frowned. "Well, we can hardly get on their case for being nice, can we?" she asked.
Teyla frowned. "I suppose not, but it is most unsettling."
Weir couldn't help but agree. She had negotiated peace treaties throughout all of Earth, and even she would never have attempted to get Rodney McKay and John Sheppard to play nice.
* * * *
Weir, Teyla, and Ford were eating lunch together, occasionally their gazes would slip to the other side of the room where McKay and Sheppard had been banished to eat alone. No one could stand the pleasantries, but they didn't stop simply because there were no witnesses.
They could tell from their expressions that they could be talking about nothing but the weather.
"Maybe they're pod people," Ford suggested helpfully. Weir gave him a withering glance, but Teyla leaned forward, interested.
"What are these…pod people?" she asked gravely. "And how do we fix them?"
Ford's eyes brightened. "Well, you see, pod people-"
"Lieutenant," Weir said warningly, before glancing at Teyla. "He's talking about a movie-fiction. McKay and Sheppard are not pod people."
Ford gave the two people in question a suspicious glance. "Don't be so sure."
Teyla smiled with understanding. "You were being…cute, again, yes?"
Ford laughed and Weir rolled her eyes. "I think I should send them to Doctor Beckett," she said.
Teyla frowned. "Perhaps they have simply found a way to get along."
Weir and Ford shared a glance. "I think you should send them to Doctor Beckett," Ford said, and Weir nodded.
* * * *
"Enough with the light already, Doc," Sheppard said irritably, pushing Carson's hands away.
Beckett frowned. "I thought Elizabeth sent you here because you were being overly nice."
"Doctor Weir sent us here for being nice?" John said incredulously. "Are you kidding me with this?"
"Stay still, please," Carson said, grabbing the Major's chin and shining the light in his eyes again. "Well, you're both fine," he said. "I'll know more once I get the blood work, but you seem to be acting like yourselves. You haven't felt ill?"
"We told you," McKay snapped from the other bed. "We're fine."
"Well," Carson said. "You can never be too careful here."
"Whatever," Sheppard said, before pausing and smiling over at McKay. "Would you like to join me for a meal, Doctor McKay?"
"It would be my pleasure, Major Sheppard," he said graciously.
Carson's mouth dropped open as they left, and he decided Elizabeth was definitely right to be concerned. That was just…wrong.
* * * *
Rodney McKay sighed and hit the chime on John's door. It opened almost immediately, and he stepped inside.
"Doctor McKay," John said with a smile. "What a pleasant surprise. What brings you here?"
"I think we need to talk," Rodney said, and with a sigh, John nodded and dropped down on his bed.
"I guess things have been a little strained lately," John admitted.
"I think Elizabeth is considering having us committed," Rodney said. "I just…we agreed we were going to act like nothing had happened, act casual, but we kind of-"
"Suck at it?" John asked.
"You noticed too?" Rodney said, relieved.
"Yeah. I'm a little worried how easily everyone is freaked out by me being nice, though. I'm not a jerk, am I?" John asked.
"No, not a jerk," Rodney said instantly. "I'm the jerk. You're the lovable yet sarcastic trouble maker."
"Lovable?" John asked wryly. "Why, Rodney, I didn't know you cared."
"I don't," he said, long-sufferingly. "I'm the jerk, remember?"
"I could hardly forget," John said wryly.
"So, ah, what are we going to do?" Rodney asked.
"You mean about how you tried to jump me?" John asked innocently.
Rodney bristled. "I did not try to jump you."
John shrugged. "Hey, it's not like anyone could blame you. I'm lovable. People tell me all the time."
Rodney narrowed his eyes. "I didn't jump on you. I…fell…"
"Conveniently with our mouths lined up?" John asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I never heard you complaining!" Rodney snapped defensively.
John shrugged. "I'm not complaining now. I wouldn't mind if you tripped more often."
Rodney's eyes went wide. "But I thought, I mean, we were going to act like nothing happened…"
"Yeah, well, that plan kind of backfired. The stuff of Broadway we are not. And anyway, I never said that I wanted that, I thought that was what you wanted." John leaned back casually.
Rodney paused, unsure about the signals he was getting. "So…do I…ah, still have to be nice?"
"Please don't," John said. "You were driving me nuts with the nice."
Rodney grinned, then walked over to him. "Well, I was better at nice than you."
John rolled his eyes. "You're a bastard, you know that?"
Rodney laughed. And then jumped him.