Fic: Undefined
Title: Undefined
Fandom: NEWS
Word Count: 1100+
Rating: PG (Maybe PG13? I've no clue)
Summary: It wasn't a relationship; not really... Shige didn't know what they were. [Ryo/Shige]
Notes: It's been so long since I've written anything, but... happy birthday, trivialaffair! I destroyed your prompt. Twice. And with bad writing. I'm not sure what I wrote actually.
It started as a desperate attempt to hinder the misery eating away at him, a secret affair with Ryo. Inconspicuous glances were thrown at each other during work, one of knowing, the other of complete apathy. Quick moments were stolen around the corridor, breaks taken in one of the dance practice rooms, lunches hidden in the studio, escaping for ten minutes in the stairwell.
The first time these meeting happened, it was due to an argument over the theme of the next concert. It was obvious that Ryo was under pressure from his workload. The group members saw him getting increasingly frustrated, snapping at every mistake that anyone made, and Shige took the brunt of the attack as he usually stumbled the most.
But Shige had an important paper due, was feeling miserable and alone and even questioning his worth as an entertainer because no one in his group understood what it was like to be the least popular one. He tried to keep calm, some of his friends suggested that he meditate, but stress load was piling on him.
"That's a stupid idea! Do you think you can even organize the fans to do something like that, Idiot?"
"As if you're coming up with a much better idea? I don't see you contributing to this discussion in any way at all," Shige hissed. "If you're just going to be dead weight, maybe you should leave!"
"What did you say?" Ryo gritted, his flashing dangerously as he stood, kicking his chair away.
"That you're dead weight," Shige enunciated, purposefully patronizing and unflinching.
A hand reached out and grabbed Shige's collar, pulling him violently out of his seat as the young man's thigh crashed harshly into the table. It took less than a second for Koyama and Yamapi to spring out of their chairs, but Ryo already had Shige out of the room and the others just blinked in disbelief, unsure of whether they should go after them.
There was yelling from both of them, and Shige remembered being harshly shoved against the cold metal railing of the stairway, remembered the sharp pain shooting in his back from impact, remembered the crash of the door closing behind Ryo. He still remembered shutting his eyes because he regretted what he said fear flowing through him, wanting to run but unable to as Ryo stared him down, feral and ready to hit him.
And then he remembered the harsh mouth being pressed against own, forceful, angry--if Shige was in his proper state of mind, he would have realized that it constituted as harassment. But he didn't; all he thought was that he was scared and didn't know how to fight, and that somehow, he needed it just as much as Ryo did.
He hated himself a little for what happened afterwords. Shige hated himself for the glances he threw at Ryo, trying to explain why they did what they did. He wondered how the other man could act so calm as if nothing happened when he was on constant edge, as if he were standing at the on the ledge of a sixty story building.
"Shige!"
Jumping, Shige blinked at Tegoshi. "Yes?"
Beaming, Tegoshi asked, "Want to go out for dinner?"
Shige thought he saw Ryo staring from the corner of his eyes, but when he turned to look, Ryo was already shoving things into his bag and ready to leave.
"Sure."
Ryo shoved past Shige, roughly shouldering him before glaring at Shige as if he were at fault.
When Ryo disappeared behind the door, Shige hissed, rubbing at this shoulder, "What the hell? Who does he think he is?"
"Maybe you should talk to him," Tegoshi suggested quietly. "I'll wait for you."
Shige didn't need more encouragement before heading towards the door, not sure whether he was relieved or not to find Ryo standing at the elevator, waiting for the lift. As Shige was about confront him, the elevator doors opened and he found himself pulled inside, the doors closing and Ryo on him without another word.
Shige forgot about his dinner plans with Tegoshi.
*
This went on for three months before Shige realized that something was wrong. The thought came quite suddenly, Shige thought that it should have been strange for him and Ryo to do what they did when there was no feeling there. It was surprising when Shige really thought about it that perhaps it wasn't that feelings didn't exist between them, because there was. Something was there, forcing him to gravitate toward Ryo. Logically, it didn't make any sense, not when their bond was based upon nothing but carnal desire, but that in itself was a feeling.
Nothing changed between them. They were still at each other's throats when they were stressed, and Ryo still bullied Shige. Something was there and Shige didn't know how to define it.
"What are we?" Shige asked once when Ryo was buttoning his shirt for him, trailing kisses on his collarbone.
"What do you mean?"
Shige closed his eyes, memorizing the sensation of Ryo's lips on his skin. "I mean, what are we? What is this thing that we’re doing?"
Ryo stopped and looked at him, accessing him. Shige thought he saw something passed over his eyes when Ryo fixed his collar. "I don't know." And then Shige was alone in the empty studio.
*
Once, Massu told Shige, "I think that it's easiest to get to know people and talk to them over food," Massu told Shige once while they were taking a break from shopping. "Because everyone likes food. And people who don't still need to eat to live, so I really think that's the best way of communicating."
"You think so?" Shige asked as he sipped his coffee.
"I know it. Food is the best way to get into another's heart," Massu replied confidently as he ate the last of the strawberry on his cake. "If not, then at least you still got a meal out of it, right?"
The truth was that Shige didn't know if it'd be worth it.
*
"Dinner."
"What?"
"Do you want to go get dinner?" Shige elaborated, his eyes trained on Ryo's shoulder, occasionally darting to the man's face. "With me?"
Ryo stared at Shige who grew increasingly anxious at the lack of response. The younger man wondered whether the silence implied no. Flushing in humiliation, Shige turned around.
"Forget I asked."
"Wait." And that was enough for Shige to stop.
They decided on something simple, a small family restaurant by the train station that Koyama once recommended Shige to try. As they were eating at the bar, chatting about nothing and everything, Shige finally asked, "What are we?"
Ryo looked straight ahead at the wall decoration behind the counter, thinking and considering. "I don't know," he said finally. "We just... are, I guess."
Shige's not sure what that meant, but when he felt Ryo hesitantly take his hand under the counter, he supposed it was okay for now.
Extra: And this is what happened the first time I tried to write the fic.
"If you tried hard enough, and focused on just a small group, you can get them to fall for you. That's how it works with fans, isn't it?"
"It's sex," Shige said with certainty. "It's the sex appeal that sells. That's why you're so popular, Tegoshi."
"Really?" Tegoshi laughed, as if they were sharing a joke that Shige really didn't understand. "I didn't know that. I thought it's because I'm cute and can sing!"
"You're not cute. Your personality is extremely un-cute," Shige denied, feeling the need to knock the youngest NEWS member off the figurative pedestal that he placed himself upon. "Besides, that's what you do to get people to fall for you. Sex and food, and you already have one of them down."
"I thought that was the way into a man's heart?" Tegoshi retorted, because he's sure he's heard his mother tell him that before. Though why he needed to know that, he had no idea. "But it really works because I completely opened my heart to Massu when he brought those cookies he made!"
Shige blinked. "What? When? Why didn't I get any?"
"It was a TegoMass event, why would Shige be there?" Tegoshi told him, giving him a look that always made Shige feel inferior and want to sulk. But Tegoshi smiled charmingly, and linked arms with Shige, "It's okay. I still like Shige the most!"
"Shut up." Despite himself, Shige smiled back.
Fandom: NEWS
Word Count: 1100+
Rating: PG (Maybe PG13? I've no clue)
Summary: It wasn't a relationship; not really... Shige didn't know what they were. [Ryo/Shige]
Notes: It's been so long since I've written anything, but... happy birthday, trivialaffair! I destroyed your prompt. Twice. And with bad writing. I'm not sure what I wrote actually.
It started as a desperate attempt to hinder the misery eating away at him, a secret affair with Ryo. Inconspicuous glances were thrown at each other during work, one of knowing, the other of complete apathy. Quick moments were stolen around the corridor, breaks taken in one of the dance practice rooms, lunches hidden in the studio, escaping for ten minutes in the stairwell.
The first time these meeting happened, it was due to an argument over the theme of the next concert. It was obvious that Ryo was under pressure from his workload. The group members saw him getting increasingly frustrated, snapping at every mistake that anyone made, and Shige took the brunt of the attack as he usually stumbled the most.
But Shige had an important paper due, was feeling miserable and alone and even questioning his worth as an entertainer because no one in his group understood what it was like to be the least popular one. He tried to keep calm, some of his friends suggested that he meditate, but stress load was piling on him.
"That's a stupid idea! Do you think you can even organize the fans to do something like that, Idiot?"
"As if you're coming up with a much better idea? I don't see you contributing to this discussion in any way at all," Shige hissed. "If you're just going to be dead weight, maybe you should leave!"
"What did you say?" Ryo gritted, his flashing dangerously as he stood, kicking his chair away.
"That you're dead weight," Shige enunciated, purposefully patronizing and unflinching.
A hand reached out and grabbed Shige's collar, pulling him violently out of his seat as the young man's thigh crashed harshly into the table. It took less than a second for Koyama and Yamapi to spring out of their chairs, but Ryo already had Shige out of the room and the others just blinked in disbelief, unsure of whether they should go after them.
There was yelling from both of them, and Shige remembered being harshly shoved against the cold metal railing of the stairway, remembered the sharp pain shooting in his back from impact, remembered the crash of the door closing behind Ryo. He still remembered shutting his eyes because he regretted what he said fear flowing through him, wanting to run but unable to as Ryo stared him down, feral and ready to hit him.
And then he remembered the harsh mouth being pressed against own, forceful, angry--if Shige was in his proper state of mind, he would have realized that it constituted as harassment. But he didn't; all he thought was that he was scared and didn't know how to fight, and that somehow, he needed it just as much as Ryo did.
He hated himself a little for what happened afterwords. Shige hated himself for the glances he threw at Ryo, trying to explain why they did what they did. He wondered how the other man could act so calm as if nothing happened when he was on constant edge, as if he were standing at the on the ledge of a sixty story building.
"Shige!"
Jumping, Shige blinked at Tegoshi. "Yes?"
Beaming, Tegoshi asked, "Want to go out for dinner?"
Shige thought he saw Ryo staring from the corner of his eyes, but when he turned to look, Ryo was already shoving things into his bag and ready to leave.
"Sure."
Ryo shoved past Shige, roughly shouldering him before glaring at Shige as if he were at fault.
When Ryo disappeared behind the door, Shige hissed, rubbing at this shoulder, "What the hell? Who does he think he is?"
"Maybe you should talk to him," Tegoshi suggested quietly. "I'll wait for you."
Shige didn't need more encouragement before heading towards the door, not sure whether he was relieved or not to find Ryo standing at the elevator, waiting for the lift. As Shige was about confront him, the elevator doors opened and he found himself pulled inside, the doors closing and Ryo on him without another word.
Shige forgot about his dinner plans with Tegoshi.
*
This went on for three months before Shige realized that something was wrong. The thought came quite suddenly, Shige thought that it should have been strange for him and Ryo to do what they did when there was no feeling there. It was surprising when Shige really thought about it that perhaps it wasn't that feelings didn't exist between them, because there was. Something was there, forcing him to gravitate toward Ryo. Logically, it didn't make any sense, not when their bond was based upon nothing but carnal desire, but that in itself was a feeling.
Nothing changed between them. They were still at each other's throats when they were stressed, and Ryo still bullied Shige. Something was there and Shige didn't know how to define it.
"What are we?" Shige asked once when Ryo was buttoning his shirt for him, trailing kisses on his collarbone.
"What do you mean?"
Shige closed his eyes, memorizing the sensation of Ryo's lips on his skin. "I mean, what are we? What is this thing that we’re doing?"
Ryo stopped and looked at him, accessing him. Shige thought he saw something passed over his eyes when Ryo fixed his collar. "I don't know." And then Shige was alone in the empty studio.
*
Once, Massu told Shige, "I think that it's easiest to get to know people and talk to them over food," Massu told Shige once while they were taking a break from shopping. "Because everyone likes food. And people who don't still need to eat to live, so I really think that's the best way of communicating."
"You think so?" Shige asked as he sipped his coffee.
"I know it. Food is the best way to get into another's heart," Massu replied confidently as he ate the last of the strawberry on his cake. "If not, then at least you still got a meal out of it, right?"
The truth was that Shige didn't know if it'd be worth it.
*
"Dinner."
"What?"
"Do you want to go get dinner?" Shige elaborated, his eyes trained on Ryo's shoulder, occasionally darting to the man's face. "With me?"
Ryo stared at Shige who grew increasingly anxious at the lack of response. The younger man wondered whether the silence implied no. Flushing in humiliation, Shige turned around.
"Forget I asked."
"Wait." And that was enough for Shige to stop.
They decided on something simple, a small family restaurant by the train station that Koyama once recommended Shige to try. As they were eating at the bar, chatting about nothing and everything, Shige finally asked, "What are we?"
Ryo looked straight ahead at the wall decoration behind the counter, thinking and considering. "I don't know," he said finally. "We just... are, I guess."
Shige's not sure what that meant, but when he felt Ryo hesitantly take his hand under the counter, he supposed it was okay for now.
Extra: And this is what happened the first time I tried to write the fic.
"If you tried hard enough, and focused on just a small group, you can get them to fall for you. That's how it works with fans, isn't it?"
"It's sex," Shige said with certainty. "It's the sex appeal that sells. That's why you're so popular, Tegoshi."
"Really?" Tegoshi laughed, as if they were sharing a joke that Shige really didn't understand. "I didn't know that. I thought it's because I'm cute and can sing!"
"You're not cute. Your personality is extremely un-cute," Shige denied, feeling the need to knock the youngest NEWS member off the figurative pedestal that he placed himself upon. "Besides, that's what you do to get people to fall for you. Sex and food, and you already have one of them down."
"I thought that was the way into a man's heart?" Tegoshi retorted, because he's sure he's heard his mother tell him that before. Though why he needed to know that, he had no idea. "But it really works because I completely opened my heart to Massu when he brought those cookies he made!"
Shige blinked. "What? When? Why didn't I get any?"
"It was a TegoMass event, why would Shige be there?" Tegoshi told him, giving him a look that always made Shige feel inferior and want to sulk. But Tegoshi smiled charmingly, and linked arms with Shige, "It's okay. I still like Shige the most!"
"Shut up." Despite himself, Shige smiled back.