Fic: Cloudy with a Chance of Isolated Storms
Title: Cloudy with a Chance of Isolated Storms
Fandom: D.Gray-Man
Word Count: 4000+
Rating: PG13 (for repeated swears)
Summary: In which Kanda was a pop idol, Lavi finds music videos, and they have their first fight. [AU]
Notes: Friendship fic with not very well veil slash? It is totally meant to be read as gen. I haven't written an actual fic in... a very long time so I'm very rusty (wah, drabbles are so much easier!). I was in a rush to finish this for LaviYu Day, so feel free to point out edits.
When Lavi found out that Kanda was at one point a pop idol, he laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed until he cried and that was when Kanda punched him in the face and left the Dark Order (their regular pub) in a huff. Of course Kanda did not leave without warning Lavi that should he attempt to find out more, the Japanese man would not promise his safety.
However, it was much too hilarious to just let it go, even with the threat of bodily harm; so, Lavi decided to scour the depths of the Earth (also known as the Internet) to find any information he could about Kanda during his pop idol years. Surprisingly, or perhaps not so much, it was a ridiculously easy task as soon as he was able to paste together what little he knew of Japanese and started a thread on the man in the Japanese forum, 2chan. The response was instantaneous.
Fans flooded the thread with magazine scans, and interviews, and the best of all gems that totally made Lavi’s efforts worth it was the music videos. Terrible, bubbly pop songs, flashy and colorful stage costumes that fucking sparkled, and oh my god, Kanda was swiveling his hips and his group mates were practically dry-humping the longhaired man. Lavi felt like Christmas came early that year.
So the moment Professor Bookman released Lavi from his TA duties, the redhead went straight to the Dark Order and to Allen and Lenalee sitting in their regular booth, with his laptop in tow. Lenalee didn’t even get a chance to finish greeting Lavi when the man eased into the seat next to Allen and set his computer on the table. The redhead gave them a shit-eating grin and flipped open his laptop screen.
“Okay, you guys have to watch this,” Lavi told them, turning his laptop so that they could all see.
“This isn’t another ‘guy sets himself on fire by accident’ video is it?” Lenalee asked warily, “Because while they are funny, it’s also very, very not funny.”
“Lighten up a little, Lenalee,” Lavi ginned as he tapped play on the video player. “This is infinitely funnier.”
That was when bad pop music emitted from Lavi’s laptop speakers, and then an explosion of color. The only words Lenalee could utter were: “Oh my God.”
“Is-is that Kanda?” Allen squeaked in a mix of disbelief and amusement, unable to tear his eyes away from the screen. “Oh Lord.”
“I know, right? Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Kanda’s so… young!” Lenalee exclaimed, attempting to stifle her giggles as she watched the video, watched as Kanda ‘danced’ across the screen of Lavi’s laptop to the oddest choreography she’s ever seen. “And agile!”
“This is brilliant,” Allen guffawed as he pounded his fist on the table, his laughter echoing in the bar. “Oh my God, I have no words for how brilliant this is! Is Kanda gyrating his hips?!”
“Isn’t it the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen?” Lavi cackled.
“There’s so much fan service,” Lenalee suddenly said, pointing at Kanda’s screen counterpart getting randomly groped by a guy who sported a terrible blond dye job. “Kanda’s so cute! Doesn’t he look more girly when he was younger?”
“Oh god, the fan service,” Lavi exclaimed, pulling his laptop back to himself as soon as the music video ended and frantically scrolling through the thread. “There’s this concert video that you have to see. I’m not kidding. It’s so epically hilarious.”
“There’s more of this?” Allen chirped gleefully, leaning closer to Lavi to look at the screen.
“You haven’t seen the best of it yet,” Lavi told them before finding the post he was looking for. “Ah-hah!”
The video buffered, and then came the performance. A solo performance. Where Kanda was ‘dancing’ with a fold up chair. And then about a minute and a half into the performance, Kanda loosened his tie, pulled it off and tossed it to the side. He winked (WINKED!) at the camera, and there were screams and twenty seconds later, the Kanda on the screen began to unbutton his shirt to even louder screams. That was when it all went downhill and Allen and Lenalee couldn’t watch through the tears in their eyes.
“What’s so funny?” Kanda came in, upon seeing the trio laughing like the world was ending.
Allen took one look at Kanda and he was gone, clutching his stomach because he was trying so hard to subdue his laughter only it really wasn’t working.
“You shouldn’t keep parts of your life hidden from us,” Lenalee told the Japanese man, wiping tears from her eyes as she made room in the booth for Kanda. The man slid into the seat next to her and frowned, not understanding. “You know it only leads to bad things.”
“Do the words Late Night Dancing, mean anything to you?” Lavi asked innocently.
Kanda immediately paled, mortified and cold. “You didn’t…?”
“Oh Yu, you’re so cute. Of course I did,” Lavi told him, reaching across the table to ruffle Kanda’s hair. “2chan is kind of epic.”
“Oh God, Kanda, I don’t think even Lenalee can move her hips as well as you,” Allen gasped between bouts of laughter.
“That’s unfortunately true,” Lenalee added. “I’m not sure whether to be ashamed or proud right now.”
“Another thing to add to how Yu is more girly than Lenalee,” Lavi snickered, putting his laptop away in his bag.
Kanda didn’t say a single word. Instead, he immediately got up and left, ignoring the group’s cries for his return.
The three friends look at each other, immediately sobered at Kanda’s reaction.
“Guys, I think he’s really mad,” Lenalee said quietly, fiddling with the napkin her cup had rested on. “Maybe we should go apologize?”
“Kanda’s always like this,” Allen sighed, taking a swig from his beer bottle. “He’s a big boy, he’ll get over it and be back in a few days like nothing happened. Besides, it’s not like he never laughs at our expense.”
“Lavi,” Lenalee said, giving the ginger head a reproachful look.
“Allen’s right; Yu’ll get over it,” Lavi reassured Lenalee. The Chinese girl didn’t look convinced, but nodded anyway.
It wasn’t until they hadn’t seen hide or hair of Kanda for two weeks that Lenalee dragged Lavi and Allen over to Kanda’s apartment for a long overdue apology. Only Kanda refused to open the door for them. It was nearing eight in the evening when Allen apologized profusely because he had night shift at the Millennium Casino and left. Lenalee was the next to go two hours later because she had work in the morning and her brother had been calling at fifteen minute intervals since six. That left Lavi, sitting in the hallway outside Kanda’s apartment, a stack of undergraduate papers piled next to him.
“Yu, I’m not going to leave, you know,” Lavi said loudly, his voice echoing in the empty hall. “I don’t have classes tomorrow, so I can sit here all night if I have to.”
Except Lavi was really hungry and kind of thirsty and in his determination and focus to get Kanda to open the door (read: idiocy), he forgot that he had Jerry’s Pizza-who also delivered-on speed dial two. So he sat in the hallway, reading papers in the dim lighting.
“I hope you know I’m starving out here!” Lavi complained after his stomach grumbled for the nth time. “And that I’m grading papers in the dark so if I ruin this eye too, it’s your fault!”
The sound of a door wretched open and a very large, very intimidating man with wavy hair stormed down the hall and up to the redhead, clearly angry.
“Hey, Ginger!”
The startled man sitting on the floor look around and finally pointed at himself, “Who? Me?”
The man picked Lavi up by the front of his shirt and growled, “Yeh, you! I was tryin’ ta sleep, but ya keep makin’ a fuckin’ ruckus an’ it’s pissin’ me off.”
Lavi gulped nervously, because from his proximity, he could see that the very scary man’s veins were actually popping out on his neck. “Sorry, I’ll try to keep it down.”
“Tryin’ ain’t good enough, Punk,” the man spat in his face and then Lavi felt a sharp explosion of pain on the left side of his face.
That was when Kanda’s door finally opened. The brunet didn’t even look at Lavi when he growled at the big man, “I’ve had enough of this shit. Get the fuck off him and go back to sleep, Bolic.”
“Yeah, well, fuck you too,” the large man told Kanda, standing up. The man gave both Kanda and Lavi one last contemptuous look before stomping back down the hall, muttering profanities about ‘goddamn fags’.
When the man slammed the door to his apartment shut, Lavi released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and rubbed at his cheek, knowing it was going to bruise. His racing heart calmed itself upon the threat leaving, and he looked up at Kanda who just glared at him before he briskly returned to his apartment. Only, Kanda didn’t close the door after him; so, Lavi took that as an invitation.
The redhead quickly gathered the essays on the floor and shoved them into his messenger bag before rushing into Kanda’s apartment, gently shutting the door behind him. The first thing Lavi did was toe his sneakers off at the door, like he always did whenever he visited either Kanda or Lenalee’s homes. Usually, Lavi would then claim his space on Kanda’s couch and then turn on the television like he owned the place. However, that day was not a usual visit, and everything was still not okay between them. As a result, Lavi could not permit himself to relax until Kanda at least forgave him.
Except Kanda wasn’t in the living room when he padded his way there. Instead, Lavi heard water running from the bathroom and Lavi’s own hand clenched at the strap of his bag while he waited for Kanda. He didn’t have to wait long because a moment later, Kanda emerged from the bathroom with a cold towel that he tossed not very gently at Lavi’s head.
Folding the towel over until it was the size of his hand, Lavi quietly thanked Kanda as he pressed the makeshift cold compress to the side of his face.
Kanda glowered at Lavi, but that wasn’t really something new. Except Kanda was stand-offish and closed, controlling his emotions so completely that Lavi did not know what he could say to get the man to stop locking himself away. So Lavi stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room shifting his weight from one leg to the other, pressing the towel to his red cheek as the other man impassively scrutinized him. The man still had not uttered a single word to Lavi, and it depressed the redhead a bit to know that Kanda was still mad. And over something so ridiculous! Regardless of whose fault it was, Lavi had a mission, and that was to get the Japanese man to return to the pub-so, too bad for Kanda that he let Lavi in, because now the man wasn’t going to leave until Kanda swore to go to the Dark Order the next day.
Unfortunately, Lavi didn’t know the right words to say and Kanda had his arms crossed over his chest with a scowl didn’t look like it was going disappear any time soon. Conceding defeat in the game of wills, Lavi sighed and bowed his head.
“I’m sorry we laughed at you,” Lavi told Kanda, having recited this speech three times in his head already. “We didn’t mean it, so will you please come back to the pub and hang out with us? Lenalee and Allen miss you.”
Kanda snorted, “If you’re going to lie, do it better.”
“Okay, Allen doesn’t miss you that much,” Lavi confessed, lifting his gaze to look at Kanda’s guarded face. “But Lenalee does; so will you please come back?”
Lavi didn’t pause to wonder why he hadn’t thought to add himself as someone who missed Kanda. Then again, telling the Japanese man that would probably just tick him off. Besides, they had already been friends for so long that Lavi’s feelings should have already been implied.
The lone clock hanging on the wall above the television ticked loudly in the silence that followed. Lavi briefly wondered whether Kanda was considering his words, but that thought was shot when Kanda frigidly accused, “You don’t even know why I’m pissed.”
Lavi blinked. If the man’s mood was not a result of Lavi and company indirectly mocking his pride, then Kanda made a very good point saying that Lavi did not know why he was upset. From the looks of it, Lavi’s mostly sure that he probably missed the point. But that wasn’t Lavi’s fault. He didn’t understand why Kanda had to be so angry that he didn’t get it; Lavi was not a mind reader!
“God, you’re acting like a fucking girl,” Lavi snapped, losing his patience. “Don’t assume I know what wrong if you don’t tell me!”
“I already fucking told you to drop it the first time!” Kanda snarled back.
Lavi didn’t dare step any closer because he was just a hair’s breath away from punching Kanda. “Drop what?! Stop being so freakin’ vague all the time!”
“Drop the goddamn idol business! I told you to not fucking look into it,” Kanda barked, glaring ice daggers at Lavi. “But you never ever listen do you? No! Mister PhD-candidate has to fucking get into anything that makes him remotely curious! Guess what? The cat gets run over by a fucking car!”
“What’s the big deal?” Lavi returned sharply, his green eye burning with aggression. “It’s not like it’s the end of the world!”
“That’s another thing! You’re so fucking self-centered! Did it ever cross that tiny brain of yours that I didn’t tell you this shit for a reason?”
Lavi threw the towel compress on the wooden coffee table, and crossed his arms over his chest as his tone took on a sardonic edge. “Oh, a reason. That’s rich, coming from Mister I-don’t-talk-about-myself! It’s because you’re so damn condescending and freaked out about trusting people that you never tell me anything! I had to drag your fucking birthday from Lenalee! You couldn’t even tell me something as simple as your goddamn birth date; so, forgive me if I decide to look into it myself because, hey, I thought that was what friends did!”
“That’s precisely why I don’t tell you anything!” Kanda bellowed, his hand gesturing furiously at Lavi’s general direction, “You always, always take things into your own hands before I decide to tell you! You never ever respect my privacy! When I want to tell you something, I will; so, don’t pull this shit on me about trust when you’ve never given me a single goddamn reason to trust you!”
“Well fuck you too,” Lavi snapped. “Guess I’m just not good enough for the Ice Prince.”
“DON’T CALL ME THAT! DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!”
“Why? Whose fault is it that I don’t know you?” Lavi asked heatedly. “Because I’ve been fucking trying for a very long time and I’m beginning to think that it’s not worth putting up with your bullshit anymore!”
“You want to know why?” Kanda tossed irately at Lavi, his control over his feelings gone completely. “Why I never told you about that stupid, stupid job?”
“Why?” Lavi asked when logic had already lost to passion. “What was so bad about your time as a pop idol that you couldn’t even tell me?”
“Because I tried to killed someone, and I would have done it if my manager didn’t stop me!”
Kanda’s words rang in the small apartment, heavy and stifling. The only sounds came from the clock, ticking on the wall while Lavi stared dumbly at Kanda in complete and utter shock.
“Come again?”
“Forget it.”
“No. What do you mean you tried to…? Why…?” Lavi tried to force his mind to form coherent thoughts, except it really didn’t work that well.
“One of the assholes in the group tried to do shit to me,” Kanda said harshly, glaring into his carpeted floor. “So I tried to kill him. End of story.”
“Oh."
After a moment, Lavi lightly added, “You’re leaving out quite a bit there." Watching Kanda’s expression carefully, he asked, “What exactly did he do to warrant an attempted murder?”
Kanda paced a bit, scowling at everything except Lavi.
“Yu,” Lavi said sternly, like a reprimand, when Kanda showed no signs of elaborating.
Kanda muttered something in Japanese that Lavi couldn’t catch and then spat, “What do you think he tried to do?”
“I call the r-word, but that’s just me,” Lavi said jokingly, trying to make the situation slightly less grave. When Kanda didn’t say anything, Lavi immediately sobered. “Really?” Lavi’s mind couldn’t really wrap around it. The mere idea kind of boggled him because as pretty as Kanda was, he did not seem like the type who would take shit like that lying down-the man practically radiated a ‘back-off’ aura. “Really? And you… tried to kill him for it?”
The only response Lavi got was a slight nod of the brunet’s bowed head.
“Oh.” Lavi did not know what else he could say. What did you say to a confession like that? Lavi could barely figure out what he was supposed to think upon hearing something like that. All the redhead felt was surprised numbness and incredulousness mixed with confusion.
“I’m not proud of it,” Kanda suddenly murmured, and Lavi looked at him, really looked.
Standing stock still before him, Lavi took in Kanda’s long, long hair still neat and out of the way like always. The man’s proud face hid beyond a veil of too long ebony bangs, and then Lavi realized with a start that Kanda had not once looked him in the eye since they stopped screaming at one another. The entirety of Kanda’s rage finally dawned on him. It was not because he felt embarrassed by the cheesy songs, the ugly sequined costumes, or the ridiculous fan service. It was never about that at all. Lavi didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry because all of this was just so ridiculous, and Kanda had blown it completely out of proportion. Because Kanda over thought everything and was so private, that he probably never properly resolved that incident. Rather than confronting his shame and guilt, the man just bottled everything deep inside him and started his life over, pretending it never happened because that was apparently a much better decision. Lavi groaned inwardly because Kanda was so many kinds of stupid at that moment he wanted to beat the other man into realizing his follies. Instead of acting on that impulse, Lavi took the three strides between him and Kanda and hugged the man. Somehow, he thought that would be a better remedy.
“You’re an idiot,” Lavi told Kanda, unable to keep the small grin from his lip. “You are a complete and total baboon. The only thing you can read on another person is hostility. You seriously have to work on your people skills.”
“Shut up; I don’t feel good about it.”
“Don’t feel bad about it either,” Lavi said lightly, holding Kanda even tighter. Lavi thought that Kanda’s priorities were a little screwed up sometimes if he still felt guilty for attempted murder, even more so if he was still ashamed the incident manifested in the first place. “If anything, that guy should have felt bad for trying to pull that shit on you. Now, shut up and just let me…”
It took a bit; but Kanda finally relaxed, dropping his tensed shoulders and even his head as he leaned on Lavi. Lavi would never admit it, but thinking about it all terrified him a little. Of course, he could stand there and dwell upon which of the four boys attempted to hurt Kanda like that, would think to even do such a thing. As much as he wanted to know, Lavi knew that finding out would be even worse; so just like that, Lavi pushed it all to the back of his mind. Vaguely, he wondered if he was doing the same thing that Kanda did.
“That was our first real fight, wasn’t it?” Lavi said in awe, breaking the silence as he mentally went over the last hour, each word of their argument imprinted in his mind forever. Unfortunately, that was the down side to his impeccable memory.
“I guess.”
“Do you feel any different?” Lavi asked, because he sure felt like something changed, even if he wasn’t quite sure what it was.
“Just more awkward,” Kanda mumbled into Lavi’s shoulder. And of course Kanda would say that. Lavi’s actually not sure he’s ever hugged Kanda before, but he had definitely never seen anyone hug Kanda.
“We’re still friends, right?”
Kanda made a noise, like he wanted to stifle a laugh. “Idiot.”
That was when Lavi realized that was the first time he’s heard Kanda laugh too. Or made a noise that resembled laughter. The day was just full of firsts, but Lavi thought it was probably an inappropriate time to ask for a high five.
“So… Yu,” Lavi began, “On the forums, some of the people were mentioning something about a song called Love Potion no. 10 being the hottest Kanda Yu-chan performance ever. And try as I might, I could not find a vide-oof.”
Kanda immediately shoved the man off, his mouth twisting into a displeased frown. Despite that, Lavi felt pleased to note that this expression was a lot less guarded than earlier, which meant Kanda wasn’t mad anymore.
“I’m not showing you that video,” Kanda told Lavi firmly.
“Oh come on,” the redhead pleaded, pulling down his bandana and letting his fiery hair hang around his face in attempt to make himself look as pitiful as possible. “I’m injured here! And because of your neighbor, might I add.”
“And whose fault is that, yelling at midnight in the hallway?” Kanda retorted, not taken by Lavi’s kicked puppy-look.
“But I’m your biggest fan,” Lavi tried, pouting and clinging at Kanda’s arm. “How can you deprive your number one fan like that?”
“Do you know who watches those videos? Teenage girls who fantasizes pop stars as their ideal boyfriends,” Kanda informed Lavi as he attempted to wrench his arm from the ginger haired man’s viselike grip.
“I’ll be a teenage girl for you if you show me the video,” Lavi bartered, but supposed that he probably said the wrong thing considering that Kanda looked more horrified than convinced. “What?”
“Why do you think that would persuade me to show you the video?” Kanda squawked incredulously, red-faced as he finally freed his arm from Lavi’s grasp.
“I didn’t really think it through,” Lavi admitted, scratching at his head. And then his stomach made a loud sound of protest that silenced them both. It was then that Lavi remembered that he hadn’t eaten since lunch twelve hours prior and he chuckled awkwardly. “I haven’t eaten since lunch. Whoops? Maybe that’s why my thinking is kind of messed up right now.”
“You’re a complete idiot,” Kanda informed Lavi as he shoved pass the redhead and into the kitchen. Lavi couldn’t help grinning as Kanda set a pot of water on the stove.
“Are you cooking for me?”
“You can starve for all I care,” Kanda remarked, grabbing a package of instant ramen from the cupboard.
“I see what you’re doing there,” Lavi said slyly as the man moved to his refrigerator, only to emerge a moment later with an egg, some scallions, and a head of lettuce. He watched as Kanda sliced the lettuce with frightening speed and precision, while the water reached a rolling boil. “Yu, can I stay over? It’s late, you know. And the metro’s stopped.”
“Walk home then.”
“What if I get attacked?”
“Trust me, no one would want your stuff badly enough to try.”
“I meant the molested sort of attack.”
“Same difference.”
“You’re mean.”
In the end, Lavi stayed the night anyway.
Fandom: D.Gray-Man
Word Count: 4000+
Rating: PG13 (for repeated swears)
Summary: In which Kanda was a pop idol, Lavi finds music videos, and they have their first fight. [AU]
Notes: Friendship fic with not very well veil slash? It is totally meant to be read as gen. I haven't written an actual fic in... a very long time so I'm very rusty (wah, drabbles are so much easier!). I was in a rush to finish this for LaviYu Day, so feel free to point out edits.
When Lavi found out that Kanda was at one point a pop idol, he laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed until he cried and that was when Kanda punched him in the face and left the Dark Order (their regular pub) in a huff. Of course Kanda did not leave without warning Lavi that should he attempt to find out more, the Japanese man would not promise his safety.
However, it was much too hilarious to just let it go, even with the threat of bodily harm; so, Lavi decided to scour the depths of the Earth (also known as the Internet) to find any information he could about Kanda during his pop idol years. Surprisingly, or perhaps not so much, it was a ridiculously easy task as soon as he was able to paste together what little he knew of Japanese and started a thread on the man in the Japanese forum, 2chan. The response was instantaneous.
Fans flooded the thread with magazine scans, and interviews, and the best of all gems that totally made Lavi’s efforts worth it was the music videos. Terrible, bubbly pop songs, flashy and colorful stage costumes that fucking sparkled, and oh my god, Kanda was swiveling his hips and his group mates were practically dry-humping the longhaired man. Lavi felt like Christmas came early that year.
So the moment Professor Bookman released Lavi from his TA duties, the redhead went straight to the Dark Order and to Allen and Lenalee sitting in their regular booth, with his laptop in tow. Lenalee didn’t even get a chance to finish greeting Lavi when the man eased into the seat next to Allen and set his computer on the table. The redhead gave them a shit-eating grin and flipped open his laptop screen.
“Okay, you guys have to watch this,” Lavi told them, turning his laptop so that they could all see.
“This isn’t another ‘guy sets himself on fire by accident’ video is it?” Lenalee asked warily, “Because while they are funny, it’s also very, very not funny.”
“Lighten up a little, Lenalee,” Lavi ginned as he tapped play on the video player. “This is infinitely funnier.”
That was when bad pop music emitted from Lavi’s laptop speakers, and then an explosion of color. The only words Lenalee could utter were: “Oh my God.”
“Is-is that Kanda?” Allen squeaked in a mix of disbelief and amusement, unable to tear his eyes away from the screen. “Oh Lord.”
“I know, right? Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Kanda’s so… young!” Lenalee exclaimed, attempting to stifle her giggles as she watched the video, watched as Kanda ‘danced’ across the screen of Lavi’s laptop to the oddest choreography she’s ever seen. “And agile!”
“This is brilliant,” Allen guffawed as he pounded his fist on the table, his laughter echoing in the bar. “Oh my God, I have no words for how brilliant this is! Is Kanda gyrating his hips?!”
“Isn’t it the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen?” Lavi cackled.
“There’s so much fan service,” Lenalee suddenly said, pointing at Kanda’s screen counterpart getting randomly groped by a guy who sported a terrible blond dye job. “Kanda’s so cute! Doesn’t he look more girly when he was younger?”
“Oh god, the fan service,” Lavi exclaimed, pulling his laptop back to himself as soon as the music video ended and frantically scrolling through the thread. “There’s this concert video that you have to see. I’m not kidding. It’s so epically hilarious.”
“There’s more of this?” Allen chirped gleefully, leaning closer to Lavi to look at the screen.
“You haven’t seen the best of it yet,” Lavi told them before finding the post he was looking for. “Ah-hah!”
The video buffered, and then came the performance. A solo performance. Where Kanda was ‘dancing’ with a fold up chair. And then about a minute and a half into the performance, Kanda loosened his tie, pulled it off and tossed it to the side. He winked (WINKED!) at the camera, and there were screams and twenty seconds later, the Kanda on the screen began to unbutton his shirt to even louder screams. That was when it all went downhill and Allen and Lenalee couldn’t watch through the tears in their eyes.
“What’s so funny?” Kanda came in, upon seeing the trio laughing like the world was ending.
Allen took one look at Kanda and he was gone, clutching his stomach because he was trying so hard to subdue his laughter only it really wasn’t working.
“You shouldn’t keep parts of your life hidden from us,” Lenalee told the Japanese man, wiping tears from her eyes as she made room in the booth for Kanda. The man slid into the seat next to her and frowned, not understanding. “You know it only leads to bad things.”
“Do the words Late Night Dancing, mean anything to you?” Lavi asked innocently.
Kanda immediately paled, mortified and cold. “You didn’t…?”
“Oh Yu, you’re so cute. Of course I did,” Lavi told him, reaching across the table to ruffle Kanda’s hair. “2chan is kind of epic.”
“Oh God, Kanda, I don’t think even Lenalee can move her hips as well as you,” Allen gasped between bouts of laughter.
“That’s unfortunately true,” Lenalee added. “I’m not sure whether to be ashamed or proud right now.”
“Another thing to add to how Yu is more girly than Lenalee,” Lavi snickered, putting his laptop away in his bag.
Kanda didn’t say a single word. Instead, he immediately got up and left, ignoring the group’s cries for his return.
The three friends look at each other, immediately sobered at Kanda’s reaction.
“Guys, I think he’s really mad,” Lenalee said quietly, fiddling with the napkin her cup had rested on. “Maybe we should go apologize?”
“Kanda’s always like this,” Allen sighed, taking a swig from his beer bottle. “He’s a big boy, he’ll get over it and be back in a few days like nothing happened. Besides, it’s not like he never laughs at our expense.”
“Lavi,” Lenalee said, giving the ginger head a reproachful look.
“Allen’s right; Yu’ll get over it,” Lavi reassured Lenalee. The Chinese girl didn’t look convinced, but nodded anyway.
It wasn’t until they hadn’t seen hide or hair of Kanda for two weeks that Lenalee dragged Lavi and Allen over to Kanda’s apartment for a long overdue apology. Only Kanda refused to open the door for them. It was nearing eight in the evening when Allen apologized profusely because he had night shift at the Millennium Casino and left. Lenalee was the next to go two hours later because she had work in the morning and her brother had been calling at fifteen minute intervals since six. That left Lavi, sitting in the hallway outside Kanda’s apartment, a stack of undergraduate papers piled next to him.
“Yu, I’m not going to leave, you know,” Lavi said loudly, his voice echoing in the empty hall. “I don’t have classes tomorrow, so I can sit here all night if I have to.”
Except Lavi was really hungry and kind of thirsty and in his determination and focus to get Kanda to open the door (read: idiocy), he forgot that he had Jerry’s Pizza-who also delivered-on speed dial two. So he sat in the hallway, reading papers in the dim lighting.
“I hope you know I’m starving out here!” Lavi complained after his stomach grumbled for the nth time. “And that I’m grading papers in the dark so if I ruin this eye too, it’s your fault!”
The sound of a door wretched open and a very large, very intimidating man with wavy hair stormed down the hall and up to the redhead, clearly angry.
“Hey, Ginger!”
The startled man sitting on the floor look around and finally pointed at himself, “Who? Me?”
The man picked Lavi up by the front of his shirt and growled, “Yeh, you! I was tryin’ ta sleep, but ya keep makin’ a fuckin’ ruckus an’ it’s pissin’ me off.”
Lavi gulped nervously, because from his proximity, he could see that the very scary man’s veins were actually popping out on his neck. “Sorry, I’ll try to keep it down.”
“Tryin’ ain’t good enough, Punk,” the man spat in his face and then Lavi felt a sharp explosion of pain on the left side of his face.
That was when Kanda’s door finally opened. The brunet didn’t even look at Lavi when he growled at the big man, “I’ve had enough of this shit. Get the fuck off him and go back to sleep, Bolic.”
“Yeah, well, fuck you too,” the large man told Kanda, standing up. The man gave both Kanda and Lavi one last contemptuous look before stomping back down the hall, muttering profanities about ‘goddamn fags’.
When the man slammed the door to his apartment shut, Lavi released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and rubbed at his cheek, knowing it was going to bruise. His racing heart calmed itself upon the threat leaving, and he looked up at Kanda who just glared at him before he briskly returned to his apartment. Only, Kanda didn’t close the door after him; so, Lavi took that as an invitation.
The redhead quickly gathered the essays on the floor and shoved them into his messenger bag before rushing into Kanda’s apartment, gently shutting the door behind him. The first thing Lavi did was toe his sneakers off at the door, like he always did whenever he visited either Kanda or Lenalee’s homes. Usually, Lavi would then claim his space on Kanda’s couch and then turn on the television like he owned the place. However, that day was not a usual visit, and everything was still not okay between them. As a result, Lavi could not permit himself to relax until Kanda at least forgave him.
Except Kanda wasn’t in the living room when he padded his way there. Instead, Lavi heard water running from the bathroom and Lavi’s own hand clenched at the strap of his bag while he waited for Kanda. He didn’t have to wait long because a moment later, Kanda emerged from the bathroom with a cold towel that he tossed not very gently at Lavi’s head.
Folding the towel over until it was the size of his hand, Lavi quietly thanked Kanda as he pressed the makeshift cold compress to the side of his face.
Kanda glowered at Lavi, but that wasn’t really something new. Except Kanda was stand-offish and closed, controlling his emotions so completely that Lavi did not know what he could say to get the man to stop locking himself away. So Lavi stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room shifting his weight from one leg to the other, pressing the towel to his red cheek as the other man impassively scrutinized him. The man still had not uttered a single word to Lavi, and it depressed the redhead a bit to know that Kanda was still mad. And over something so ridiculous! Regardless of whose fault it was, Lavi had a mission, and that was to get the Japanese man to return to the pub-so, too bad for Kanda that he let Lavi in, because now the man wasn’t going to leave until Kanda swore to go to the Dark Order the next day.
Unfortunately, Lavi didn’t know the right words to say and Kanda had his arms crossed over his chest with a scowl didn’t look like it was going disappear any time soon. Conceding defeat in the game of wills, Lavi sighed and bowed his head.
“I’m sorry we laughed at you,” Lavi told Kanda, having recited this speech three times in his head already. “We didn’t mean it, so will you please come back to the pub and hang out with us? Lenalee and Allen miss you.”
Kanda snorted, “If you’re going to lie, do it better.”
“Okay, Allen doesn’t miss you that much,” Lavi confessed, lifting his gaze to look at Kanda’s guarded face. “But Lenalee does; so will you please come back?”
Lavi didn’t pause to wonder why he hadn’t thought to add himself as someone who missed Kanda. Then again, telling the Japanese man that would probably just tick him off. Besides, they had already been friends for so long that Lavi’s feelings should have already been implied.
The lone clock hanging on the wall above the television ticked loudly in the silence that followed. Lavi briefly wondered whether Kanda was considering his words, but that thought was shot when Kanda frigidly accused, “You don’t even know why I’m pissed.”
Lavi blinked. If the man’s mood was not a result of Lavi and company indirectly mocking his pride, then Kanda made a very good point saying that Lavi did not know why he was upset. From the looks of it, Lavi’s mostly sure that he probably missed the point. But that wasn’t Lavi’s fault. He didn’t understand why Kanda had to be so angry that he didn’t get it; Lavi was not a mind reader!
“God, you’re acting like a fucking girl,” Lavi snapped, losing his patience. “Don’t assume I know what wrong if you don’t tell me!”
“I already fucking told you to drop it the first time!” Kanda snarled back.
Lavi didn’t dare step any closer because he was just a hair’s breath away from punching Kanda. “Drop what?! Stop being so freakin’ vague all the time!”
“Drop the goddamn idol business! I told you to not fucking look into it,” Kanda barked, glaring ice daggers at Lavi. “But you never ever listen do you? No! Mister PhD-candidate has to fucking get into anything that makes him remotely curious! Guess what? The cat gets run over by a fucking car!”
“What’s the big deal?” Lavi returned sharply, his green eye burning with aggression. “It’s not like it’s the end of the world!”
“That’s another thing! You’re so fucking self-centered! Did it ever cross that tiny brain of yours that I didn’t tell you this shit for a reason?”
Lavi threw the towel compress on the wooden coffee table, and crossed his arms over his chest as his tone took on a sardonic edge. “Oh, a reason. That’s rich, coming from Mister I-don’t-talk-about-myself! It’s because you’re so damn condescending and freaked out about trusting people that you never tell me anything! I had to drag your fucking birthday from Lenalee! You couldn’t even tell me something as simple as your goddamn birth date; so, forgive me if I decide to look into it myself because, hey, I thought that was what friends did!”
“That’s precisely why I don’t tell you anything!” Kanda bellowed, his hand gesturing furiously at Lavi’s general direction, “You always, always take things into your own hands before I decide to tell you! You never ever respect my privacy! When I want to tell you something, I will; so, don’t pull this shit on me about trust when you’ve never given me a single goddamn reason to trust you!”
“Well fuck you too,” Lavi snapped. “Guess I’m just not good enough for the Ice Prince.”
“DON’T CALL ME THAT! DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!”
“Why? Whose fault is it that I don’t know you?” Lavi asked heatedly. “Because I’ve been fucking trying for a very long time and I’m beginning to think that it’s not worth putting up with your bullshit anymore!”
“You want to know why?” Kanda tossed irately at Lavi, his control over his feelings gone completely. “Why I never told you about that stupid, stupid job?”
“Why?” Lavi asked when logic had already lost to passion. “What was so bad about your time as a pop idol that you couldn’t even tell me?”
“Because I tried to killed someone, and I would have done it if my manager didn’t stop me!”
Kanda’s words rang in the small apartment, heavy and stifling. The only sounds came from the clock, ticking on the wall while Lavi stared dumbly at Kanda in complete and utter shock.
“Come again?”
“Forget it.”
“No. What do you mean you tried to…? Why…?” Lavi tried to force his mind to form coherent thoughts, except it really didn’t work that well.
“One of the assholes in the group tried to do shit to me,” Kanda said harshly, glaring into his carpeted floor. “So I tried to kill him. End of story.”
“Oh."
After a moment, Lavi lightly added, “You’re leaving out quite a bit there." Watching Kanda’s expression carefully, he asked, “What exactly did he do to warrant an attempted murder?”
Kanda paced a bit, scowling at everything except Lavi.
“Yu,” Lavi said sternly, like a reprimand, when Kanda showed no signs of elaborating.
Kanda muttered something in Japanese that Lavi couldn’t catch and then spat, “What do you think he tried to do?”
“I call the r-word, but that’s just me,” Lavi said jokingly, trying to make the situation slightly less grave. When Kanda didn’t say anything, Lavi immediately sobered. “Really?” Lavi’s mind couldn’t really wrap around it. The mere idea kind of boggled him because as pretty as Kanda was, he did not seem like the type who would take shit like that lying down-the man practically radiated a ‘back-off’ aura. “Really? And you… tried to kill him for it?”
The only response Lavi got was a slight nod of the brunet’s bowed head.
“Oh.” Lavi did not know what else he could say. What did you say to a confession like that? Lavi could barely figure out what he was supposed to think upon hearing something like that. All the redhead felt was surprised numbness and incredulousness mixed with confusion.
“I’m not proud of it,” Kanda suddenly murmured, and Lavi looked at him, really looked.
Standing stock still before him, Lavi took in Kanda’s long, long hair still neat and out of the way like always. The man’s proud face hid beyond a veil of too long ebony bangs, and then Lavi realized with a start that Kanda had not once looked him in the eye since they stopped screaming at one another. The entirety of Kanda’s rage finally dawned on him. It was not because he felt embarrassed by the cheesy songs, the ugly sequined costumes, or the ridiculous fan service. It was never about that at all. Lavi didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry because all of this was just so ridiculous, and Kanda had blown it completely out of proportion. Because Kanda over thought everything and was so private, that he probably never properly resolved that incident. Rather than confronting his shame and guilt, the man just bottled everything deep inside him and started his life over, pretending it never happened because that was apparently a much better decision. Lavi groaned inwardly because Kanda was so many kinds of stupid at that moment he wanted to beat the other man into realizing his follies. Instead of acting on that impulse, Lavi took the three strides between him and Kanda and hugged the man. Somehow, he thought that would be a better remedy.
“You’re an idiot,” Lavi told Kanda, unable to keep the small grin from his lip. “You are a complete and total baboon. The only thing you can read on another person is hostility. You seriously have to work on your people skills.”
“Shut up; I don’t feel good about it.”
“Don’t feel bad about it either,” Lavi said lightly, holding Kanda even tighter. Lavi thought that Kanda’s priorities were a little screwed up sometimes if he still felt guilty for attempted murder, even more so if he was still ashamed the incident manifested in the first place. “If anything, that guy should have felt bad for trying to pull that shit on you. Now, shut up and just let me…”
It took a bit; but Kanda finally relaxed, dropping his tensed shoulders and even his head as he leaned on Lavi. Lavi would never admit it, but thinking about it all terrified him a little. Of course, he could stand there and dwell upon which of the four boys attempted to hurt Kanda like that, would think to even do such a thing. As much as he wanted to know, Lavi knew that finding out would be even worse; so just like that, Lavi pushed it all to the back of his mind. Vaguely, he wondered if he was doing the same thing that Kanda did.
“That was our first real fight, wasn’t it?” Lavi said in awe, breaking the silence as he mentally went over the last hour, each word of their argument imprinted in his mind forever. Unfortunately, that was the down side to his impeccable memory.
“I guess.”
“Do you feel any different?” Lavi asked, because he sure felt like something changed, even if he wasn’t quite sure what it was.
“Just more awkward,” Kanda mumbled into Lavi’s shoulder. And of course Kanda would say that. Lavi’s actually not sure he’s ever hugged Kanda before, but he had definitely never seen anyone hug Kanda.
“We’re still friends, right?”
Kanda made a noise, like he wanted to stifle a laugh. “Idiot.”
That was when Lavi realized that was the first time he’s heard Kanda laugh too. Or made a noise that resembled laughter. The day was just full of firsts, but Lavi thought it was probably an inappropriate time to ask for a high five.
“So… Yu,” Lavi began, “On the forums, some of the people were mentioning something about a song called Love Potion no. 10 being the hottest Kanda Yu-chan performance ever. And try as I might, I could not find a vide-oof.”
Kanda immediately shoved the man off, his mouth twisting into a displeased frown. Despite that, Lavi felt pleased to note that this expression was a lot less guarded than earlier, which meant Kanda wasn’t mad anymore.
“I’m not showing you that video,” Kanda told Lavi firmly.
“Oh come on,” the redhead pleaded, pulling down his bandana and letting his fiery hair hang around his face in attempt to make himself look as pitiful as possible. “I’m injured here! And because of your neighbor, might I add.”
“And whose fault is that, yelling at midnight in the hallway?” Kanda retorted, not taken by Lavi’s kicked puppy-look.
“But I’m your biggest fan,” Lavi tried, pouting and clinging at Kanda’s arm. “How can you deprive your number one fan like that?”
“Do you know who watches those videos? Teenage girls who fantasizes pop stars as their ideal boyfriends,” Kanda informed Lavi as he attempted to wrench his arm from the ginger haired man’s viselike grip.
“I’ll be a teenage girl for you if you show me the video,” Lavi bartered, but supposed that he probably said the wrong thing considering that Kanda looked more horrified than convinced. “What?”
“Why do you think that would persuade me to show you the video?” Kanda squawked incredulously, red-faced as he finally freed his arm from Lavi’s grasp.
“I didn’t really think it through,” Lavi admitted, scratching at his head. And then his stomach made a loud sound of protest that silenced them both. It was then that Lavi remembered that he hadn’t eaten since lunch twelve hours prior and he chuckled awkwardly. “I haven’t eaten since lunch. Whoops? Maybe that’s why my thinking is kind of messed up right now.”
“You’re a complete idiot,” Kanda informed Lavi as he shoved pass the redhead and into the kitchen. Lavi couldn’t help grinning as Kanda set a pot of water on the stove.
“Are you cooking for me?”
“You can starve for all I care,” Kanda remarked, grabbing a package of instant ramen from the cupboard.
“I see what you’re doing there,” Lavi said slyly as the man moved to his refrigerator, only to emerge a moment later with an egg, some scallions, and a head of lettuce. He watched as Kanda sliced the lettuce with frightening speed and precision, while the water reached a rolling boil. “Yu, can I stay over? It’s late, you know. And the metro’s stopped.”
“Walk home then.”
“What if I get attacked?”
“Trust me, no one would want your stuff badly enough to try.”
“I meant the molested sort of attack.”
“Same difference.”
“You’re mean.”
In the end, Lavi stayed the night anyway.