[FIC] Arrested Developments
Title: Arrested Developments
Word Count: ~1400
Characters/Pairings: China, France
Rating: PG
Summary: Summers in China are hot. And because France would so get arrested by China's people.
Notes: Unbeta-ed and loosely based off of my cousin's experience with French expats. Title is not in anyway related to the show.
"China, your country is hot," France complained after they had eaten their late night meal. It was probably about one in the morning, and France looked up to the night. The sky looked more red than black, and France knew with little doubt that the next day would be just as hot.
"I cannot help that," China said, strolling besides the other nation on the path back to his residence. "This is why I said we should stay indoors where there is air conditioning-aru."
"The air conditioning dries my skin," France explained, his fingers touching his neck as if emphasizing how dire air conditioning was to him. "And hurts my throat."
China refrained from calling France a baby when they happened to walk by a circular stone fountain.
"Oh! A fountain! Let's go swim!" France exclaimed rather excitedly as he hurried towards the object in question.
"You can't swim in that-aru; that's a fountain!" China scolded like he would his siblings, but his words fell on deaf ears as France--strange and questionable France--promptly stripped himself of t-shirt, shorts, and underwear and hopped into the fountain. Needless to say, China was horrified.
"What are you doing-aru?" China frantically flailed at France from the edge of the fountain. His head darted to and fro as he prayed to the heavens that no one would come over and see France in all his natural glory.
"Swimming," France said as if it were the most natural thing in the world to swim completely starkers in a fountain.
"Why are you naked-aru? We have swimming pools," China said, covering half his face with his hand, not sure if he should laugh or cry. "Or did you not get the memo-aru? Hurry up and get dressed before someone sees you."
France waded over to where China stood with a leer, "Would you care to join me?"
He was 4000 years old and he wasn't about to be persuaded by such a line. "Are you insane-aru?"
"Non," France grinned. "Just hot."
Without any other warning, France picked China up from the fountain edge and dropped him into the mildly cooler water, easily soaking the Asian nation from head to toe.
"What the fuck?!" China cursed in Chinese as he glared heatedly at France. France only understood it because he'd heard China shout that at Korea so many times before asking the other Nation what it meant.
"Isn't the fountain much better?" France asked delightedly, as he sat back in the water and splashed at China.
"No-aru! I'm all wet! Why are you so weird-aru?" China whined, vainly attempting to kick at France under the water. To his chagrin, he missed, only succeeding to splash water at the Western nation.
France moved forward, his tush pert and sticking in the air as he stopped right before China, flicking ebony hair from the large nation's face. France smirked, "It's actually an excuse to get you wet and naked."
China's face turned bright crimson in a mix of rage, embarrassment, and the much too hot night. "What do you think--"
"Hold it you two! What's all this shouting? What are you doing? That's public property!"
Both France and China looked up at a man in the sky blue button up and familiar uniform cap of the police, running towards them with his partner in tow.
"What's going on here?" The first officer demanded, pointing his flashlight at them back and forth.
France sent China a look of confusion, and somehow, China knew that something like this would happen. He mentally cursed France and tried to stand.
"Apologies, Sir," China said, inclining his head slightly. "My friend got a little drunk."
"Don't move," the second officer barked at them, eyeing them (but especially France) suspiciously. China paused from hoisting himself up and settled back in the fountain with a scowl.
"Calm down," France said, shifting a bit because he was still rather naked and it felt awkward with authority figures glare at him when he was a nation. France had enough of that from the other nations.
"I said don't move," the second officer snarled at France. The yelling only made the bewildered France shift closer to an exasperated China who was still sitting in the water.
"What did he say," the first officer asked, turning his flashlight on China.
"France, don't move," China said urgently because he knew his officers, and if France so much as made a wrong move, they wouldn't hesitate to arrest the foreigner for public indecency if nothing else. Why did France have to be so weird, China asked himself.
"What did you just say to him," the first officer demanded.
"Understood," France chirped, smiling at the increasingly anxious police officers. He felt slightly bad for not being able to understand what the officers were saying so he broke out the little Chinese he knew and said, "Sorry?"
"We're really sorry about this, Sirs," China said amicably. "I'll make sure this never happens again."
"All right, show me your identification," the first officer told them.
China could feel himself begin to sweat despite the water, because they were Nations, they didn't carry identification tags of any sort. "Look, will you please call the President and the French Ambassador? I'm sure we can get this sorted out right away."
"I asked for your identification cards," the officer snarled.
"What's he so angry about?" France asked China, glancing between the two officers.
"He wants identification-aru," China translated.
"Just tell him to call the Embassy," France said, eyeing his clothes somewhat mournfully on the edge of the fountain. "Can I get dressed?"
"Hey! Stop talking! If you don't show me your identification, I'm going to have to take you down to the precinct."
China sighed and hoped to the Heavens that they would accept his explanation, even though it would probably be a tad farfetched. "I am China. This is France. Call the President and the Embassador, he'll tell you."
"You're making fun of us," the second officer accused feral.
"That's it; we're arresting you two."
"Wait! You can't do this!" China exclaimed to deaf ears as the first officer turned him around and shackled him with a pair of handcuffs. The second officer looked completely pissed as he had already done the same to France who was still not allowed his clothes. "Let us go!"
"Are your officers arresting us?" France asked China incredulously as they were lead off, presumably to the police station. "What about my clothes?!"
As they sat in the dank cell that smelled of urine and fecal matter in the police station, China laughed somewhat hysterically because it was all too surreal. He, the great nation of China, was in arrested in his own home, by his own officers. Something about the entire situation screamed irony to him.
France stood in the middle of the cell, reluctant to sit anywhere because it wasn't wartime and he'd grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle of relative cleaniness. Even during wartime, he hadn't been in prisons of such questionable sanitary conditions, but then again, in those times, the guards knew who he was. If France ignored the fact that he was in prison for being mistaken as another foreign tourist, it was actually rather exciting. He'd never been in a common cell before, nor had he ever been treated so harshly by authority figures in peacetime.
France supposed that he was grateful he at least had his clothes back, because he thought the police officers were going to either leave them or burn them during their arrest. So really, the glass was half full, and all they needed to do was contact their bosses and things would probably be settled quickly, even if China was muttering to himself in Chinese, using a lot of swears if France was correct. Who knows, maybe he'd even get to meet China's rumored Dragon boss.
"This is completely your fault-aru," China said, leaning against the iron bars of the cell bars. "If you hadn't taken your clothes off and jumped into that stupid fountain-aru, we wouldn't be here."
"You were yelling too," France pointed out, trying not to breathe though his nose, or even at all because the cell was rather putrid. "The only reason the police noticed us was because you were so loud."
China glared at him like a reproachful adult, which made France feel as if he were at fault regardless. France surmised it was the experience of a 4000 year old nation.
After a long moment, China sighed. "The reason we're here doesn't matter-aru; we're still in a cell."
"At least we have something to brag to the other nations about," France said cheerfully. "I don't think many nations have been in a cell when it wasn't wartime."
China scowled, "How is this something to be proud of-aru?"
"Because," France grinned, cocking his head to the side, "If we say it with just the right amount of boastfulness, America's going to want to try."
China thought it over for a moment before a small smile made its way to his lips. "I'm listening-aru."
Word Count: ~1400
Characters/Pairings: China, France
Rating: PG
Summary: Summers in China are hot. And because France would so get arrested by China's people.
Notes: Unbeta-ed and loosely based off of my cousin's experience with French expats. Title is not in anyway related to the show.
"China, your country is hot," France complained after they had eaten their late night meal. It was probably about one in the morning, and France looked up to the night. The sky looked more red than black, and France knew with little doubt that the next day would be just as hot.
"I cannot help that," China said, strolling besides the other nation on the path back to his residence. "This is why I said we should stay indoors where there is air conditioning-aru."
"The air conditioning dries my skin," France explained, his fingers touching his neck as if emphasizing how dire air conditioning was to him. "And hurts my throat."
China refrained from calling France a baby when they happened to walk by a circular stone fountain.
"Oh! A fountain! Let's go swim!" France exclaimed rather excitedly as he hurried towards the object in question.
"You can't swim in that-aru; that's a fountain!" China scolded like he would his siblings, but his words fell on deaf ears as France--strange and questionable France--promptly stripped himself of t-shirt, shorts, and underwear and hopped into the fountain. Needless to say, China was horrified.
"What are you doing-aru?" China frantically flailed at France from the edge of the fountain. His head darted to and fro as he prayed to the heavens that no one would come over and see France in all his natural glory.
"Swimming," France said as if it were the most natural thing in the world to swim completely starkers in a fountain.
"Why are you naked-aru? We have swimming pools," China said, covering half his face with his hand, not sure if he should laugh or cry. "Or did you not get the memo-aru? Hurry up and get dressed before someone sees you."
France waded over to where China stood with a leer, "Would you care to join me?"
He was 4000 years old and he wasn't about to be persuaded by such a line. "Are you insane-aru?"
"Non," France grinned. "Just hot."
Without any other warning, France picked China up from the fountain edge and dropped him into the mildly cooler water, easily soaking the Asian nation from head to toe.
"What the fuck?!" China cursed in Chinese as he glared heatedly at France. France only understood it because he'd heard China shout that at Korea so many times before asking the other Nation what it meant.
"Isn't the fountain much better?" France asked delightedly, as he sat back in the water and splashed at China.
"No-aru! I'm all wet! Why are you so weird-aru?" China whined, vainly attempting to kick at France under the water. To his chagrin, he missed, only succeeding to splash water at the Western nation.
France moved forward, his tush pert and sticking in the air as he stopped right before China, flicking ebony hair from the large nation's face. France smirked, "It's actually an excuse to get you wet and naked."
China's face turned bright crimson in a mix of rage, embarrassment, and the much too hot night. "What do you think--"
"Hold it you two! What's all this shouting? What are you doing? That's public property!"
Both France and China looked up at a man in the sky blue button up and familiar uniform cap of the police, running towards them with his partner in tow.
"What's going on here?" The first officer demanded, pointing his flashlight at them back and forth.
France sent China a look of confusion, and somehow, China knew that something like this would happen. He mentally cursed France and tried to stand.
"Apologies, Sir," China said, inclining his head slightly. "My friend got a little drunk."
"Don't move," the second officer barked at them, eyeing them (but especially France) suspiciously. China paused from hoisting himself up and settled back in the fountain with a scowl.
"Calm down," France said, shifting a bit because he was still rather naked and it felt awkward with authority figures glare at him when he was a nation. France had enough of that from the other nations.
"I said don't move," the second officer snarled at France. The yelling only made the bewildered France shift closer to an exasperated China who was still sitting in the water.
"What did he say," the first officer asked, turning his flashlight on China.
"France, don't move," China said urgently because he knew his officers, and if France so much as made a wrong move, they wouldn't hesitate to arrest the foreigner for public indecency if nothing else. Why did France have to be so weird, China asked himself.
"What did you just say to him," the first officer demanded.
"Understood," France chirped, smiling at the increasingly anxious police officers. He felt slightly bad for not being able to understand what the officers were saying so he broke out the little Chinese he knew and said, "Sorry?"
"We're really sorry about this, Sirs," China said amicably. "I'll make sure this never happens again."
"All right, show me your identification," the first officer told them.
China could feel himself begin to sweat despite the water, because they were Nations, they didn't carry identification tags of any sort. "Look, will you please call the President and the French Ambassador? I'm sure we can get this sorted out right away."
"I asked for your identification cards," the officer snarled.
"What's he so angry about?" France asked China, glancing between the two officers.
"He wants identification-aru," China translated.
"Just tell him to call the Embassy," France said, eyeing his clothes somewhat mournfully on the edge of the fountain. "Can I get dressed?"
"Hey! Stop talking! If you don't show me your identification, I'm going to have to take you down to the precinct."
China sighed and hoped to the Heavens that they would accept his explanation, even though it would probably be a tad farfetched. "I am China. This is France. Call the President and the Embassador, he'll tell you."
"You're making fun of us," the second officer accused feral.
"That's it; we're arresting you two."
"Wait! You can't do this!" China exclaimed to deaf ears as the first officer turned him around and shackled him with a pair of handcuffs. The second officer looked completely pissed as he had already done the same to France who was still not allowed his clothes. "Let us go!"
"Are your officers arresting us?" France asked China incredulously as they were lead off, presumably to the police station. "What about my clothes?!"
As they sat in the dank cell that smelled of urine and fecal matter in the police station, China laughed somewhat hysterically because it was all too surreal. He, the great nation of China, was in arrested in his own home, by his own officers. Something about the entire situation screamed irony to him.
France stood in the middle of the cell, reluctant to sit anywhere because it wasn't wartime and he'd grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle of relative cleaniness. Even during wartime, he hadn't been in prisons of such questionable sanitary conditions, but then again, in those times, the guards knew who he was. If France ignored the fact that he was in prison for being mistaken as another foreign tourist, it was actually rather exciting. He'd never been in a common cell before, nor had he ever been treated so harshly by authority figures in peacetime.
France supposed that he was grateful he at least had his clothes back, because he thought the police officers were going to either leave them or burn them during their arrest. So really, the glass was half full, and all they needed to do was contact their bosses and things would probably be settled quickly, even if China was muttering to himself in Chinese, using a lot of swears if France was correct. Who knows, maybe he'd even get to meet China's rumored Dragon boss.
"This is completely your fault-aru," China said, leaning against the iron bars of the cell bars. "If you hadn't taken your clothes off and jumped into that stupid fountain-aru, we wouldn't be here."
"You were yelling too," France pointed out, trying not to breathe though his nose, or even at all because the cell was rather putrid. "The only reason the police noticed us was because you were so loud."
China glared at him like a reproachful adult, which made France feel as if he were at fault regardless. France surmised it was the experience of a 4000 year old nation.
After a long moment, China sighed. "The reason we're here doesn't matter-aru; we're still in a cell."
"At least we have something to brag to the other nations about," France said cheerfully. "I don't think many nations have been in a cell when it wasn't wartime."
China scowled, "How is this something to be proud of-aru?"
"Because," France grinned, cocking his head to the side, "If we say it with just the right amount of boastfulness, America's going to want to try."
China thought it over for a moment before a small smile made its way to his lips. "I'm listening-aru."