stuff and things...
Well... lots of stuff going on, not a heck of a lot of fun actually. Lots of work stuff, Lots of stress stuff... and other things. Some not so bad, and actually good, but anyhoo...
As some of you may already know, I am a compliance manager for a transportation company. In my position I have to make sure that compliance is maintained for all the governing organizations that our company "interacts" with. These organizations are The:
FAA (Federal Aviation Administration)
FMCSA / DOT (Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration / Department of Transportation)
TSA DHS (Transportation Security Administration / Department of Homeland Security)
OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration)
USCBP (US Customs & Border Protection)
And a few others...
In July of last year, my entire department was let go, but me. So, I now have the responsibility of 4 people instead of just managing my team. Anyway... old news I suppose.
The main difference between someone in a position such as mine, and another position is simple...
When someone in another position makes a mistake, a shipment is late, a bill is overpaid, customers can get upset, data is lost etc...
When someone in a position such as mine makes a mistake, The federal government can shut us down, Fine the company out of existence, imprison and fine me personally on a federal level, etc, etc...
Needless to say, it's stressful.
A week ago, a driver from another company collapsed on our dock. He was not breathing, did not have a pulse and was non-responsive. He was gone. After performing CPR for almost 5 min I was able to revive him. The HR manager at our company is a ex-CRN and assisted me in monitoring his vitals. 2 min later the paramedics arrived. His name is Odell Washington, and his wife completely crushed me when I spoke with her on the phone and she said I "saved the love of her life".
Everyone at work and around me keep telling me how great it must feel, how much of a hero I am. But, it is nothing like anything you would expect.
I have spoken with Odell several times, and since then he had been discharged from the hospital and appears to be ok. I actually really enjoyed hearing his voice and talking with him, such a character... But it was so hard being there, going through that, trying to breathe air into a dead man's lungs. Trying to not think about if he wouldn't make it, if you did something wrong...
He's ok though, and probably being smothered by kisses and snuggles by his wife (who stated she had a few huge hugs for myself and Debra (HR mgr) when she sees us.)
But I still cannot get it out of my head.
I feel in a way that in bringing Odell back to life, I have somehow broken or lost a piece of my own. I don't regret it though. He deserved to live, we all do. (except when Maze and I play RHS... then it's different) inside joke
In any case, Since then I haven't been sleeping all that much, ended up having what turned out to be an severe panic attack (which included a brief stay in the ER)complete with chest and arm pains...
They have prescribed me Xanax, however I don't think they are really working or anything. (not sure actually)
So, I'm not having a heart attack, just crazy...
Replaced the extremely stretched chain on the bike on monday... smashed the hell out of my left index finger while trying to "knock" out a rivet in a link to make the new chain shorter. (couldn't find a chain breaker to rent near by, and didn't feel like spending $150+ on something I was going to rarely use) so so typing is fun and interesting in a very painful way. Currently the letters "r,t,f,g & c" can all just go to f-ing hell.
In all this commotion of the past several weeks, I noticed that our cat Barnaby hasn't been around lately trying to sit on my keyboard when I'm typing, or getting into fights with our other cat... I asked Sarah if she's seen him around today or anything and she couldn't remember either. He didn't have his tags on.
Barnaby is a scaredy cat. Even if we're walking into the kitchen he'll run off and under the bed. He usually comes out after I get home, or when the kids go to bed, so "not seeing him" sometimes is the norm.
But he wasn't under the bed, or on the porch, or basement, or yard (even though we don't let our cats outside)... he's just gone. Last night I walked the neighborhood trying to find him, but had no luck. Haven't been able to visit Animal control & Care center for chicago yet, but I doubt we'll find him there. I mean, it's one thing when a police officer finds a dog wondering around, can call it over and coerce it into the back of the car... but a "flighty" cat who runs at the sound of anything? besides... I doubt a cop would stop a squad car to chase down a cat.
I'm composing again... it's a bit difficult trying to learn the newer version of cakewalk, but I'm "forcing" it to do what I want in a backward way. Regardless I'm having issues with some of the sound fonts (instrument voicing) working at all, so that's interesting. I'll try to put it up somewhere or something maybe... not sure. it's extremely rough and no where near complete.
Sarah's at a wine / book thing with Kristi tonight. Just me again at home tonight with the kids asleep, 1 busted finger, 1 cat short, a beer and my crazy.
As some of you may already know, I am a compliance manager for a transportation company. In my position I have to make sure that compliance is maintained for all the governing organizations that our company "interacts" with. These organizations are The:
FAA (Federal Aviation Administration)
FMCSA / DOT (Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration / Department of Transportation)
TSA DHS (Transportation Security Administration / Department of Homeland Security)
OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration)
USCBP (US Customs & Border Protection)
And a few others...
In July of last year, my entire department was let go, but me. So, I now have the responsibility of 4 people instead of just managing my team. Anyway... old news I suppose.
The main difference between someone in a position such as mine, and another position is simple...
When someone in another position makes a mistake, a shipment is late, a bill is overpaid, customers can get upset, data is lost etc...
When someone in a position such as mine makes a mistake, The federal government can shut us down, Fine the company out of existence, imprison and fine me personally on a federal level, etc, etc...
Needless to say, it's stressful.
A week ago, a driver from another company collapsed on our dock. He was not breathing, did not have a pulse and was non-responsive. He was gone. After performing CPR for almost 5 min I was able to revive him. The HR manager at our company is a ex-CRN and assisted me in monitoring his vitals. 2 min later the paramedics arrived. His name is Odell Washington, and his wife completely crushed me when I spoke with her on the phone and she said I "saved the love of her life".
Everyone at work and around me keep telling me how great it must feel, how much of a hero I am. But, it is nothing like anything you would expect.
I have spoken with Odell several times, and since then he had been discharged from the hospital and appears to be ok. I actually really enjoyed hearing his voice and talking with him, such a character... But it was so hard being there, going through that, trying to breathe air into a dead man's lungs. Trying to not think about if he wouldn't make it, if you did something wrong...
He's ok though, and probably being smothered by kisses and snuggles by his wife (who stated she had a few huge hugs for myself and Debra (HR mgr) when she sees us.)
But I still cannot get it out of my head.
I feel in a way that in bringing Odell back to life, I have somehow broken or lost a piece of my own. I don't regret it though. He deserved to live, we all do. (except when Maze and I play RHS... then it's different) inside joke
In any case, Since then I haven't been sleeping all that much, ended up having what turned out to be an severe panic attack (which included a brief stay in the ER)complete with chest and arm pains...
They have prescribed me Xanax, however I don't think they are really working or anything. (not sure actually)
So, I'm not having a heart attack, just crazy...
Replaced the extremely stretched chain on the bike on monday... smashed the hell out of my left index finger while trying to "knock" out a rivet in a link to make the new chain shorter. (couldn't find a chain breaker to rent near by, and didn't feel like spending $150+ on something I was going to rarely use) so so typing is fun and interesting in a very painful way. Currently the letters "r,t,f,g & c" can all just go to f-ing hell.
In all this commotion of the past several weeks, I noticed that our cat Barnaby hasn't been around lately trying to sit on my keyboard when I'm typing, or getting into fights with our other cat... I asked Sarah if she's seen him around today or anything and she couldn't remember either. He didn't have his tags on.
Barnaby is a scaredy cat. Even if we're walking into the kitchen he'll run off and under the bed. He usually comes out after I get home, or when the kids go to bed, so "not seeing him" sometimes is the norm.
But he wasn't under the bed, or on the porch, or basement, or yard (even though we don't let our cats outside)... he's just gone. Last night I walked the neighborhood trying to find him, but had no luck. Haven't been able to visit Animal control & Care center for chicago yet, but I doubt we'll find him there. I mean, it's one thing when a police officer finds a dog wondering around, can call it over and coerce it into the back of the car... but a "flighty" cat who runs at the sound of anything? besides... I doubt a cop would stop a squad car to chase down a cat.
I'm composing again... it's a bit difficult trying to learn the newer version of cakewalk, but I'm "forcing" it to do what I want in a backward way. Regardless I'm having issues with some of the sound fonts (instrument voicing) working at all, so that's interesting. I'll try to put it up somewhere or something maybe... not sure. it's extremely rough and no where near complete.
Sarah's at a wine / book thing with Kristi tonight. Just me again at home tonight with the kids asleep, 1 busted finger, 1 cat short, a beer and my crazy.