The Past
Summary - Sho is from the past and he's here in the present because...
Pairings - Sakuraiba
Disclaimer- Unfortunately, I do not own anything, even if I really want to, I DON’T.
Note - I know the title's weird.. I can't think of a proper title so if you have suggestions to change the title, feel free to tell me ne =)
-----
It was the day I failed my entrance exam. It has always been my dream to be able to study at Waseda but now, everything that I have once planned flew out the window. I was sulking while pouting as I walked through the busy streets even though it seemed more of the silent gloomy streets of depression. There’s no light in sight, not daring to return home with the shocking news that might cause my mum to have a heart attack.
Not knowing where I was heading, walking around aimlessly. I ended up wandering into the streets of ‘ruins’. The streets were dark and mysterious, making me shiver to every gust of wind. Feeling lost and scared, I wished someone was there with me to keep me company. Just then, as if my wish were heard and answered by the heaven above, I saw a handsome young man leaning against one of the dirty walls with his eyes closed.
With second thoughts and hesitation, I slowly and cautiously approached the young man. When I was closing the distance between the both of us, I noticed something very different about him. He wore clothes that were really outdated. He somehow resembles those dynasty warriors in history books. He was also carrying a long sword, a katana. I paused and stopped all my movements, staring at the man’s katana. I soon recalled that a similar katana was shown in one of those history slides and that katana was owned by a strong, smart and loyal warrior who died protecting his lover.
As I was about to start walking again, he calmly opened his eyes, most probably sensed that I was there. I was taken aback when he stood up straight and started to approach me. I couldn’t help myself but stare into his beautiful brown eyes as he continued walking towards me. It might be only my mind playing tricks on me but I couldn’t budge a bit from the place where I stood.
“Are you okay? You looked troubled.” He asked with a concerned voice.
“I’m fine. Thanks.” I answered, feeling my blood boil. We were standing so close to each other that we could feel each other’s breath.
“You don’t seem fine to me though.” He smiled a warm and gentle smile, leaving me with butterflies in my tummy. “I’ll listen if you’re willing to tell me.”
“I.. I failed my entrance exam and I think my mum would get a heart attack hearing the news.” I willingly told him about the topic that has been bothering me. He kept quiet, giving me his full attention so I decided to go on. “My parents had always had high hopes on me and I’m the only child in the family. It was also my dream but…” I felt a tear slide down my cheeks but it did not make it to my neck.
He stopped the tear as he palmed my cheek, wiping the tear away. There it was, a total silence as we both stood there staring at each other without saying a word. A warm and unknown feeling crept up to my chest. He smiled again, the warm gentle smile.
“Thank you for trusting me,” his smile never left his face. “but I think you should face it instead of running away. Be a warrior and not a coward. Keep in mind that nothing will be solved by running away but in turn might get worse.”
I was shocked by his advise because not only does he dress like some weird warrior though I must say that he looked really handsome in it, he was talking like one too. Before I knew it, he was nowhere to be found and I found myself back at the main street leading to home. Did he just guide me here?
----
“Masaki- it’s time for dinner.” My mum called from downstairs.
I closed my book and took a deep breath. Many thoughts were running in and out of my mind as I made my way to the dining table. Mum and dad had both seated at their respective places waiting for me to start the meal.
“Itadakimasu.” We all said in unison and started digging into our food.
“Kaa-chan, Tou-chan..” I hesitated, slurring a bit as I tried to tell them the truth. “I.. err, I-”
“We know.” Mum said smiling. “We know dear, it is okay. You’ve tried.”
I sank into my seat, speechless. They knew?
“Kaa-san made your favourite fried chicken. Eat up and cheer up.” Dad said as he shoved a mouth full of rice into his mouth.
I almost tear up. This was totally unpredicted. Not only did they not scold nor lecture me but tried to cheer me up. I unconsciously smiled at the thought of what that young man told me about. My parents were relief to see me smile and thus we ate with joy and laughter.
----
I went back to the streets of ‘ruins’ hoping to be able to meet that young man again. It was manners to thank someone after receiving their help and to show gratitude but in my case, it wasn’t just a simple thank you. I wanted to meet him. I wanted to know more about him, get to know him. I am not here to say a simple thank you to a stranger but I wanted to be friends.
Unlike last time, I was walking through the streets with a cheerful heart so everything seemed so different compared to the last time I’ve been here. The streets of ‘ruins’ were like a maze. I did not know where I was heading but I continued to walk my way to finding this young man that has been in my mind since.
“It’s dangerous to walk around not knowing where you’re heading.” A voice came.
I turned around towards the source, and there stood the person I’ve been thinking of. He was still wearing that warm gentle smile. As I’ve expected, he was still wearing that warrior outfit but I’ve came to like it. The coolness to his personality but the warmness to his smile, he was what everyone would dream to be.
“Is everything okay?” he asked, looking a little concern to my lack of reaction.
“Ah-hai.” I answered, looking down to the ground. “I told them and they weren’t mad.” Silence filled the air and I was afraid that the same thing would happen again, him disappearing before I knew it. “Thank you.” I said with sincerity and determination as I looked up to meet his gaze.
Looking confused, he has an amusing facial expression. I couldn’t help but giggle.
“You look beautiful when you’re cheerful.” He commented, smiling ever so warmly. I could feel my cheeks heat up to his comment. “I’m sorry, I was rude. I’m Sho. Sakurai Sho.”
Not just he looked like a warrior, his name somehow sounds like samurai. Sakurai, Samurai. I giggled a bit and let of a small laughter to my own thoughts.
“No no no.. I’m sorry, I’m happy.” I smiled telling him that I was indeed happy to his comment. “I’m Masaki. Aiba Masaki.”
He smiled again. He was always smiling at me and his smile never failed to make me feel funny as a warm feeling will linger around my chest. We quickly became friends ever so naturally without force. It came so naturally that even I didn’t know it happened.
----
“I’ve decided to try again.” I announced. “I want to make my dream come true.” I smiled at the person sitting beside me.
We’re at the roof of one of the buildings at the streets of ‘ruins’. Needless to say, the person next to me now is none other than Sakurai Sho. It’d become part of my daily routine to drop by the streets of ‘ruins’ to meet him.
“You told your parents?” he asked looking at the sunset in front of us, warm and beautiful.
“Not yet. They’re hardly home these days.” I admitted. Mum and dad are rarely home and I’ve already got used to eating take-outs alone.
“Good luck then. You can do it. Learn from your past mistakes. It’ll help you succeed in the future.” He turned to look at me, his smile as warm as the sunset.
“Nn~” I nodded agreeing to his statement.
He’s always been so wise, saying all these wise statements and giving great advises. Even though we’ve been talking and getting to know each other, I’ve totally no idea where his origin or where he lives, nor do I know who he is. All I know is his name and that’s it.
Life was nice and calm, almost peaceful. My daily routine is simple and if it’s put into an equation, it’ll be S square. S(tudy)x S(ho)= my daily routine. Too bad, things don’t go your way or the way you wanted things to be.
I started receiving odd phone calls recently. Some are just silent calls while some will scold vulgar words. There’s even some who threaten to hurt my family. Honestly, I have absolutely no idea to what was going on. I couldn’t consult anyone about this. It’ll be weird to talk to Sho about this and my parents are no longer rarely home, but are never home. Or at least that’s what it seems to me since they’re always home late and often goes out again early morning.
Worse things happen as time goes by and I noticed that my routine these days lacks the most important S in my life and I can tell that S does not belong to the S(tudy) category. I hardly see my parents now a days and I’m getting worried. Being the useless me, not knowing what to do. I stayed at home often, awaiting their return as well as to entertain those disturbing calls.
----
“Is everything alright? I haven’t seen you for awhile.” The same smile was there, the smile that never fails to make me feel warm on the inside.
“Does feeling like dying consider as okay?” even with the warmth Sho is giving me, I can’t help but feel depressed.
He stared straight into my eyes, looking straight into me. I stood there like an idiot staring blankly and totally confused to his reaction.
“You look exactly like when I first met you.” He frowned for the very first time since I’ve met him.
He seemed even more depressed than I am, but in a blink of an eye, he smiled again. Smiling so warmly, I could not help but to smile as well.
“You know I’ll listen if you want to talk about it.” he said with the smile still shining on his warm expression.
I wanted to tell him straight away. I know I can trust him and I do trust him to even begin with. I didn’t know how to start and it’s killing from the inside. I really wanted to tell him about everything. But I couldn’t react, my voice wouldn’t come out.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to force.” He was still smiling. Yes he was most definitely still smiling. His smile was so addictive as well as so healing that I thought a burden has been lifted off my shoulders.
“It’s not it.. not it.” I said. I was wracking my mind to how to begin telling him. “It’s my parents.” I started. “They did not return. I don’t know where they are. Disturbing calls has been non-stop. It seems like my family business is in chaos and I can do nothing to help. My family is breaking apart without me even noticing.” I blurt out everything all at once but he did not once ignore any of what I was saying.
He gave me his full attention like how a warrior would pay attention to his enemy’s movement. He looked like he was trapped in his own train of thoughts, looking awesomely handsome.
“Don’t jump into conclusions too soon.” He walked towards me “Your parents might be doing their best to try things right.” He cornered me and sandwiched me in between the wall “Think positive Masaki-” he just called me Masaki? “Think calmly, there must be a way out. As long as the sky has not fallen, there’s still time to think.” again, he smiled at me and walked away to take his place against the wall. “Your family might be breaking apart but there’s still hope that you’ll be able to save it.”
“But I can’t. With my knowledge, there’s no way I’m able to help with the business. I don’t even know where they are now. How am I suppose to help?” I asked, feeling kind of desperate.
He was no longer smiling anymore. He looked as if feeling disappointed and sad. Did I say something wrong?
“Don’t give up. Never give up. Listen to your heart. I’ll be here for you.” he slowly approached me, hugging me in the end.
“Sho-san?” I mumbled.
“Masaki, think positive, stay strong.” He whispered into my ear.
I relaxed with his actions. His warmth and gentleness exceeds and knows no limits. With that I’ve made up my mind to be strong and try my best to help my parents with whatever that I might be able to do.
----
I spent sleepless nights coming up with a plan and it’s no easy work. I could not afford to neglect my studies so I would study during day and try to think of something that might help my parents during night. Time seem to pass so fast when you need more of them. I seldom meet up with Sho anymore but I somehow feel his presence in me.
I hardly sleep, and there are times where I thought I would just collapse. After days, wait no, after nights and nights of endless thinking, I came up with the most idiotic idea but well better than nothing. Without thinking twice, I dumbly went to my parents company and consulted my dad’s secretary. Funny, everything seemed to be fine. So what was the problem? What were all those calls about?
I tried to contact my parents but failed as usual. Wait, maybe all those calls were fake, my parents dumped me? Am I a burden? No, I have to think positive or else Sho will start frowning again and I don’t like him frowning. I went back home and locked myself in my bedroom, lost in my own train of thoughts, I wanted to meet him. But what am I to say after meeting him?
Sighing to my own discomfort, I covered myself up and cuddled myself to slumber, hoping that everything will be okay and back to normal when I awake later. Too bad, it doesn’t happen that way. After awaking from the most horrid nightmare I had in my entire life, I was sweating as if I ran a thousand meters, I found myself at a very foreign place, definitely not my bedroom.
The scenery was the best I’ve ever seen. I was at a field. The wind blew into my face comfortably. Everything just seem so perfect until I saw people, no their not normal people though they’re indeed humans. They were all dressed like Sho, in warrior outfits, funny hairstyle and some even riding horses. I feel like I was caught in between some film making.
Then out of nowhere, I spotted someone who’s rather familiar. Sho? What the heck? I didn’t know if it’s a dream or am I going nuts due to the insufficient sleep. Then I saw me. ME!? I was too dressed in warrior clothes with a katana hanging by my waist just like Sho. I don’t know what was going on but one thing I know for sure is that person who looks like me is NOT me. I am standing here like an idiot watching Sho and well, me, fighting weird people with funny hairstyles.
“This is the past. That’s you Masaki.” A voice came from behind.
“eh?” I was shocked. Me? That’s me? Couldn’t be, I’m not that brave to just charge into the enemy like what that person who looks like me is doing.
“That’s Kyou. He’s my boyfriend.” He smiled like he usually did but much warmer while he’s looking at him. “You’re him. So well, technically you’re also mine. Well just technically. It’s too difficult to explain but why I’m showing you Kyou is because I want you to be as brave as your past self. You can do it Masaki. Believe in yourself, believe in me.” his voice suddenly seem so distant and he blended into the scenery along with the other warriors as well as Kyou.
That was when I really woke up. I sat up straight on my bed, taking deep breaths.
“Kyou~” I smiled to myself thinking of the weird dream Sho showed me.
Wait a second, Sho just showed me a dream?? Isn’t Sho human with a weird hobby of wearing funny clothes? I took a few more deep breaths trying to get my thinking straight. Sho and Kyou are lovers and I am Kyou which technically became Sho’s as well. I slummed back into my pillow. This is too complicated for my poor brain.
----
I decided to pay Sho a visit thus went to the streets of ‘ruins’ again. The maze like streets were no longer maze like to me since I’ve came here quite often. I could make my way with my eyes closed. I walked the endless streets in search for a certain someone.
“It’s been awhile ne~” a cheerful voice came and there he was. Standing there in his warrior clothes leaning so ever handsomely against the wall. “Looking for me?” he smiled.
“Umm, yeah.” I slurred. Not knowing what to say or ask.
“You’re here to ask me about last night right.” He asked smiling, looking straight into my eyes as he walked towards me.
I nodded.
“Kyou-chan, you there?” he asked smiling as usual but this time, I smiled along with him without my own self control.
I felt a warm feeling creeping into my chest. A sensation that’s unexplainable. I saw him smiling and for the first time smirking. He came closer, closing the little gap in between us as he placed his hand behind my head for what I think for support and kissed me.
Not just I did not push him away, I gladly accepted and answered his kiss but I do know that the one controlling my body now isn’t myself but a certain someone who’s not suppose to exist, Kyou. Sho broke the kiss in need of air while I could feel my cheeks flush.
“Gomen ne Masaki. Kyou can be a little aggressive.” He smiled softly, pointing towards my lips.
I shook my head telling him it’s okay and that I understand.
“Kyou as you know is my lover.” He started, walking away to the wall he often lean onto. “I’m Sakurai Sho from another era, or time or whatever you people of this time calls it, but to tell the truth, I’m the same as Kyou, someone who has died.” even speaking of his own death, he was still smiling.
I remained silent, wanting him to continue and he did.
“Unlike Kyou who died during a battle, I committed suicide in order to be with him, but there was a price to pay. We were united for a while in the underworld but Kyou, he has the chance to be reborn and have a new life thus thinking about his future, I selfishly forced him into reincarnation.” His smile slowly disappeared and I could feel a piercing pain in my chest as if reacting to Sho’s emotions.
“…” I was speechless at first, thinking about the weird sensations that’s running wild in me. “What about you then? You said there was a price to pay..” ahh, I mentally hit myself for being so straight forward and at that very moment, I feel like burying my head into the ground so I could hide from embarrassment.
“The price was that I could never be reborn and go through the circle of reincarnation. It’s a horrible price to pay but for me, I’m actually thankful.” The smile returned as he smiled at his own statement.
“So then what brings you here? Kyou?” I asked without thinking again. I’m really an idiot.
He laughed, for the first time. “You called me here.” Again, he made his way towards me. “A part of your soul, where Kyou is, called me here on your behalf, I’m here to help you.” As he continued to approach me, I backed away. “You don’t have to feel fear. I’m indeed here to help you. The dream last night was to remind you how brave and strong you were. I want you to strive on and overcome you problems as well as face them head on, not run away like a coward. Running away won’t solve anything.” He closed our distance again, taking me into a hug but this time, he has his katana near my neck. “But if you were to fail, I’ll gladly claim Kyou for myself and my needs.”
“Sho-san.” I said calmly. “Arigatou~” I smiled.
He smiled in return and I turned away to the main street.
----
Conclusion now is that, I don’t know where my parents are, I have a warrior’s lover in me or well, I’m him or whatsoever. It’s too complicated and I also have someone waiting to kill me if I were to fail to face my problems head on. What a perfect life of a student I have there.
I sighed. I’ve been sighing a lot lately. Just then, my phone rang. I’ll normally ignore it as it’ll be one of those prank calls or those rude calls but this time, I answered. I should face those low lives that can’t stop bugging me and get a life, just like Sho said. To my surprise, it wasn’t one of those idiot but mum.
“Masaki? Ahh, you finally answered.” Mum sounded relief. I was too relief but I was finding the right words to use so I wouldn’t sound rude.
“Kaa-chan, where are you now?” I asked slowly. “Are you okay?”
“What are you talking about? I’m fine. Tou-san needs to settle some business contract and needs to be away for awhile. It was too sudden so we couldn’t contact you immediately.. and you another one, just wouldn’t answer your calls. Do you have any idea how many times I called?” Mum started nagging.
I missed listening to her nagging. It’s been really awhile. I’m glad I answered the call. The calls, the calls, what about the weird calls?
“Kaa-chan, are you free to talk? There’s something I want to ask you.” I asked as politely as possible.
“Sure dear.”
“The reason I haven’t been answering calls was because, I’ve received a lot of disturbing calls from unknown people. I even went to the extent of coming to a conclusion that kaa-chan and tou-chan got into trouble.” I said, straight forward not wanting to beat around the bush.
“Masaki. You’ve really mature ne~” I could feel her smiling at the other end of the line. “Those calls were from a long time ago, it’s just that you’re normally busy studying and I’m often at home to entertain those calls so you’re clueless about them. Once you’ve started a business of any kind, people around you will start to take useless but sometimes efficient actions to bring you and the company down.” She slowly explained everything through the phone. “I’m happy that you were able to handle them even though ignoring the calls isn’t a very good idea.” She commented and it somehow reminds me of a certain warrior, a smile crept up to my lips. “I have to go. I’ll call you later and be sure to pick up.”
I hang up and then fell straight into my train of thoughts. I’ve been practically worrying about nothing at all. Those fears, worries, everything weren’t real. It was just me thinking too much. It was me and if it wasn’t for Sho I wouldn’t have answered mum’s call and I wouldn’t know what had happen and Sho… It was Sho.
Sho was the first person besides my parents that has worried about me and supported me. I felt myself redden to the thought. No I can’t. Sho belongs to Kyou which is the past me not the current me. I can’t steal my own boyfriend. Now that’s just weird. I’m falling for a guy whom I must not fall for. It’ll change history. It’ll bring chaos. He’s not real. The simple thought of him not being real nearly brought me to tears.
Then it clicked. I blame my idiotic brain for not noticing it earlier. Everything, through everything, Sho was there. Sho, it was all about Sho. Everything that happened, it was all him. Immediately I went to the streets of ‘ruins’. I practically dashed my way through, not wanting to waste a single second. I wanted to see him that instant.
“Sho!” I can’t help but shout.
“You did well Masaki.” a gentle voice came from behind me and before I knew it, a pair of protective arms came circling my waist into a hug.
“Sho?” I turned to face him, having a confused look on my face.
He chuckled and smiled. He pulled me into another hug then slowly but surely placed his lips on mine. It was soft but sweet.
“I know what you’re thinking Masaki.” He said after pulling away. “True, I knew the truth from the very beginning, but I can’t tell you straight forwardly that your parents are fine. All I could do was guide you.” he frowned a bit before continuing. “I’m sorry Masaki, having to put you in all those fear and agony.”
I shook my head. This isn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want him to apologize.
“There’s no need to apologize.” I smiled. “But there’s a need to thank you.” he looked up, looking totally confused. “You’ve helped me as well as thought me to face my problems bravely and not run away like a coward.” I stared straight into his eyes, filled with sincerity.. “Arigatou..”
I took the chance to close our distance and brought him into a passionate kiss. A kiss of thanks, of gratitude or whatever you want to call it, but that kiss somehow felt so distant and miserable.
“Masaki, you know we can’t.” ahh, so he knew what my intention was. “I am a warrior, and I belong to Kyou and only Kyou alone.” He smiled and gave me a peck on the cheek. “I am here to help you, to guide you but now, you’re doing better on your own than I’ve predicted. As expected from Kyou’s spirit.” He’s standing right in front of me, yet his voice started to sound distant. “Remember Masaki, I will always be part of your soul just as you’re part of mine. We’re always connected…”
And with that, we didn’t even get to say our proper goodbyes and he was gone.
----
A/N- Nope it’s not one of the multi-chap >< it’s something random and messy thanks to my messy mind of history XD
Sakuraiba~!! YAY.. -_-“ It’s kinda messy.. I’m sorry ne~ Been really stressed out and drained lately.. XD still having exams and No-P nee-chan is gonna kill me if she sees this >< yikes.. XD so there you go.. an update after soooooo long.. =) gotta go back to my books soon. -_-“
I shall be back by the 15th of december ^^ sigh .. owh owh, and pls pardon my errors here coz it's not just messy, i wrote it in the middle of the night XD
Happy belated birthday Oh-chan ^^ We ALL LOVE YOU ~!! *darn I'm so late ><*
Charge me up with your comments good or bad.. I love them and I really need them *kisses* =)
Comments are LOVED ♥♥
Pairings - Sakuraiba
Disclaimer- Unfortunately, I do not own anything, even if I really want to, I DON’T.
Note - I know the title's weird.. I can't think of a proper title so if you have suggestions to change the title, feel free to tell me ne =)
-----
It was the day I failed my entrance exam. It has always been my dream to be able to study at Waseda but now, everything that I have once planned flew out the window. I was sulking while pouting as I walked through the busy streets even though it seemed more of the silent gloomy streets of depression. There’s no light in sight, not daring to return home with the shocking news that might cause my mum to have a heart attack.
Not knowing where I was heading, walking around aimlessly. I ended up wandering into the streets of ‘ruins’. The streets were dark and mysterious, making me shiver to every gust of wind. Feeling lost and scared, I wished someone was there with me to keep me company. Just then, as if my wish were heard and answered by the heaven above, I saw a handsome young man leaning against one of the dirty walls with his eyes closed.
With second thoughts and hesitation, I slowly and cautiously approached the young man. When I was closing the distance between the both of us, I noticed something very different about him. He wore clothes that were really outdated. He somehow resembles those dynasty warriors in history books. He was also carrying a long sword, a katana. I paused and stopped all my movements, staring at the man’s katana. I soon recalled that a similar katana was shown in one of those history slides and that katana was owned by a strong, smart and loyal warrior who died protecting his lover.
As I was about to start walking again, he calmly opened his eyes, most probably sensed that I was there. I was taken aback when he stood up straight and started to approach me. I couldn’t help myself but stare into his beautiful brown eyes as he continued walking towards me. It might be only my mind playing tricks on me but I couldn’t budge a bit from the place where I stood.
“Are you okay? You looked troubled.” He asked with a concerned voice.
“I’m fine. Thanks.” I answered, feeling my blood boil. We were standing so close to each other that we could feel each other’s breath.
“You don’t seem fine to me though.” He smiled a warm and gentle smile, leaving me with butterflies in my tummy. “I’ll listen if you’re willing to tell me.”
“I.. I failed my entrance exam and I think my mum would get a heart attack hearing the news.” I willingly told him about the topic that has been bothering me. He kept quiet, giving me his full attention so I decided to go on. “My parents had always had high hopes on me and I’m the only child in the family. It was also my dream but…” I felt a tear slide down my cheeks but it did not make it to my neck.
He stopped the tear as he palmed my cheek, wiping the tear away. There it was, a total silence as we both stood there staring at each other without saying a word. A warm and unknown feeling crept up to my chest. He smiled again, the warm gentle smile.
“Thank you for trusting me,” his smile never left his face. “but I think you should face it instead of running away. Be a warrior and not a coward. Keep in mind that nothing will be solved by running away but in turn might get worse.”
I was shocked by his advise because not only does he dress like some weird warrior though I must say that he looked really handsome in it, he was talking like one too. Before I knew it, he was nowhere to be found and I found myself back at the main street leading to home. Did he just guide me here?
----
“Masaki- it’s time for dinner.” My mum called from downstairs.
I closed my book and took a deep breath. Many thoughts were running in and out of my mind as I made my way to the dining table. Mum and dad had both seated at their respective places waiting for me to start the meal.
“Itadakimasu.” We all said in unison and started digging into our food.
“Kaa-chan, Tou-chan..” I hesitated, slurring a bit as I tried to tell them the truth. “I.. err, I-”
“We know.” Mum said smiling. “We know dear, it is okay. You’ve tried.”
I sank into my seat, speechless. They knew?
“Kaa-san made your favourite fried chicken. Eat up and cheer up.” Dad said as he shoved a mouth full of rice into his mouth.
I almost tear up. This was totally unpredicted. Not only did they not scold nor lecture me but tried to cheer me up. I unconsciously smiled at the thought of what that young man told me about. My parents were relief to see me smile and thus we ate with joy and laughter.
----
I went back to the streets of ‘ruins’ hoping to be able to meet that young man again. It was manners to thank someone after receiving their help and to show gratitude but in my case, it wasn’t just a simple thank you. I wanted to meet him. I wanted to know more about him, get to know him. I am not here to say a simple thank you to a stranger but I wanted to be friends.
Unlike last time, I was walking through the streets with a cheerful heart so everything seemed so different compared to the last time I’ve been here. The streets of ‘ruins’ were like a maze. I did not know where I was heading but I continued to walk my way to finding this young man that has been in my mind since.
“It’s dangerous to walk around not knowing where you’re heading.” A voice came.
I turned around towards the source, and there stood the person I’ve been thinking of. He was still wearing that warm gentle smile. As I’ve expected, he was still wearing that warrior outfit but I’ve came to like it. The coolness to his personality but the warmness to his smile, he was what everyone would dream to be.
“Is everything okay?” he asked, looking a little concern to my lack of reaction.
“Ah-hai.” I answered, looking down to the ground. “I told them and they weren’t mad.” Silence filled the air and I was afraid that the same thing would happen again, him disappearing before I knew it. “Thank you.” I said with sincerity and determination as I looked up to meet his gaze.
Looking confused, he has an amusing facial expression. I couldn’t help but giggle.
“You look beautiful when you’re cheerful.” He commented, smiling ever so warmly. I could feel my cheeks heat up to his comment. “I’m sorry, I was rude. I’m Sho. Sakurai Sho.”
Not just he looked like a warrior, his name somehow sounds like samurai. Sakurai, Samurai. I giggled a bit and let of a small laughter to my own thoughts.
“No no no.. I’m sorry, I’m happy.” I smiled telling him that I was indeed happy to his comment. “I’m Masaki. Aiba Masaki.”
He smiled again. He was always smiling at me and his smile never failed to make me feel funny as a warm feeling will linger around my chest. We quickly became friends ever so naturally without force. It came so naturally that even I didn’t know it happened.
----
“I’ve decided to try again.” I announced. “I want to make my dream come true.” I smiled at the person sitting beside me.
We’re at the roof of one of the buildings at the streets of ‘ruins’. Needless to say, the person next to me now is none other than Sakurai Sho. It’d become part of my daily routine to drop by the streets of ‘ruins’ to meet him.
“You told your parents?” he asked looking at the sunset in front of us, warm and beautiful.
“Not yet. They’re hardly home these days.” I admitted. Mum and dad are rarely home and I’ve already got used to eating take-outs alone.
“Good luck then. You can do it. Learn from your past mistakes. It’ll help you succeed in the future.” He turned to look at me, his smile as warm as the sunset.
“Nn~” I nodded agreeing to his statement.
He’s always been so wise, saying all these wise statements and giving great advises. Even though we’ve been talking and getting to know each other, I’ve totally no idea where his origin or where he lives, nor do I know who he is. All I know is his name and that’s it.
Life was nice and calm, almost peaceful. My daily routine is simple and if it’s put into an equation, it’ll be S square. S(tudy)x S(ho)= my daily routine. Too bad, things don’t go your way or the way you wanted things to be.
I started receiving odd phone calls recently. Some are just silent calls while some will scold vulgar words. There’s even some who threaten to hurt my family. Honestly, I have absolutely no idea to what was going on. I couldn’t consult anyone about this. It’ll be weird to talk to Sho about this and my parents are no longer rarely home, but are never home. Or at least that’s what it seems to me since they’re always home late and often goes out again early morning.
Worse things happen as time goes by and I noticed that my routine these days lacks the most important S in my life and I can tell that S does not belong to the S(tudy) category. I hardly see my parents now a days and I’m getting worried. Being the useless me, not knowing what to do. I stayed at home often, awaiting their return as well as to entertain those disturbing calls.
----
“Is everything alright? I haven’t seen you for awhile.” The same smile was there, the smile that never fails to make me feel warm on the inside.
“Does feeling like dying consider as okay?” even with the warmth Sho is giving me, I can’t help but feel depressed.
He stared straight into my eyes, looking straight into me. I stood there like an idiot staring blankly and totally confused to his reaction.
“You look exactly like when I first met you.” He frowned for the very first time since I’ve met him.
He seemed even more depressed than I am, but in a blink of an eye, he smiled again. Smiling so warmly, I could not help but to smile as well.
“You know I’ll listen if you want to talk about it.” he said with the smile still shining on his warm expression.
I wanted to tell him straight away. I know I can trust him and I do trust him to even begin with. I didn’t know how to start and it’s killing from the inside. I really wanted to tell him about everything. But I couldn’t react, my voice wouldn’t come out.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to force.” He was still smiling. Yes he was most definitely still smiling. His smile was so addictive as well as so healing that I thought a burden has been lifted off my shoulders.
“It’s not it.. not it.” I said. I was wracking my mind to how to begin telling him. “It’s my parents.” I started. “They did not return. I don’t know where they are. Disturbing calls has been non-stop. It seems like my family business is in chaos and I can do nothing to help. My family is breaking apart without me even noticing.” I blurt out everything all at once but he did not once ignore any of what I was saying.
He gave me his full attention like how a warrior would pay attention to his enemy’s movement. He looked like he was trapped in his own train of thoughts, looking awesomely handsome.
“Don’t jump into conclusions too soon.” He walked towards me “Your parents might be doing their best to try things right.” He cornered me and sandwiched me in between the wall “Think positive Masaki-” he just called me Masaki? “Think calmly, there must be a way out. As long as the sky has not fallen, there’s still time to think.” again, he smiled at me and walked away to take his place against the wall. “Your family might be breaking apart but there’s still hope that you’ll be able to save it.”
“But I can’t. With my knowledge, there’s no way I’m able to help with the business. I don’t even know where they are now. How am I suppose to help?” I asked, feeling kind of desperate.
He was no longer smiling anymore. He looked as if feeling disappointed and sad. Did I say something wrong?
“Don’t give up. Never give up. Listen to your heart. I’ll be here for you.” he slowly approached me, hugging me in the end.
“Sho-san?” I mumbled.
“Masaki, think positive, stay strong.” He whispered into my ear.
I relaxed with his actions. His warmth and gentleness exceeds and knows no limits. With that I’ve made up my mind to be strong and try my best to help my parents with whatever that I might be able to do.
----
I spent sleepless nights coming up with a plan and it’s no easy work. I could not afford to neglect my studies so I would study during day and try to think of something that might help my parents during night. Time seem to pass so fast when you need more of them. I seldom meet up with Sho anymore but I somehow feel his presence in me.
I hardly sleep, and there are times where I thought I would just collapse. After days, wait no, after nights and nights of endless thinking, I came up with the most idiotic idea but well better than nothing. Without thinking twice, I dumbly went to my parents company and consulted my dad’s secretary. Funny, everything seemed to be fine. So what was the problem? What were all those calls about?
I tried to contact my parents but failed as usual. Wait, maybe all those calls were fake, my parents dumped me? Am I a burden? No, I have to think positive or else Sho will start frowning again and I don’t like him frowning. I went back home and locked myself in my bedroom, lost in my own train of thoughts, I wanted to meet him. But what am I to say after meeting him?
Sighing to my own discomfort, I covered myself up and cuddled myself to slumber, hoping that everything will be okay and back to normal when I awake later. Too bad, it doesn’t happen that way. After awaking from the most horrid nightmare I had in my entire life, I was sweating as if I ran a thousand meters, I found myself at a very foreign place, definitely not my bedroom.
The scenery was the best I’ve ever seen. I was at a field. The wind blew into my face comfortably. Everything just seem so perfect until I saw people, no their not normal people though they’re indeed humans. They were all dressed like Sho, in warrior outfits, funny hairstyle and some even riding horses. I feel like I was caught in between some film making.
Then out of nowhere, I spotted someone who’s rather familiar. Sho? What the heck? I didn’t know if it’s a dream or am I going nuts due to the insufficient sleep. Then I saw me. ME!? I was too dressed in warrior clothes with a katana hanging by my waist just like Sho. I don’t know what was going on but one thing I know for sure is that person who looks like me is NOT me. I am standing here like an idiot watching Sho and well, me, fighting weird people with funny hairstyles.
“This is the past. That’s you Masaki.” A voice came from behind.
“eh?” I was shocked. Me? That’s me? Couldn’t be, I’m not that brave to just charge into the enemy like what that person who looks like me is doing.
“That’s Kyou. He’s my boyfriend.” He smiled like he usually did but much warmer while he’s looking at him. “You’re him. So well, technically you’re also mine. Well just technically. It’s too difficult to explain but why I’m showing you Kyou is because I want you to be as brave as your past self. You can do it Masaki. Believe in yourself, believe in me.” his voice suddenly seem so distant and he blended into the scenery along with the other warriors as well as Kyou.
That was when I really woke up. I sat up straight on my bed, taking deep breaths.
“Kyou~” I smiled to myself thinking of the weird dream Sho showed me.
Wait a second, Sho just showed me a dream?? Isn’t Sho human with a weird hobby of wearing funny clothes? I took a few more deep breaths trying to get my thinking straight. Sho and Kyou are lovers and I am Kyou which technically became Sho’s as well. I slummed back into my pillow. This is too complicated for my poor brain.
----
I decided to pay Sho a visit thus went to the streets of ‘ruins’ again. The maze like streets were no longer maze like to me since I’ve came here quite often. I could make my way with my eyes closed. I walked the endless streets in search for a certain someone.
“It’s been awhile ne~” a cheerful voice came and there he was. Standing there in his warrior clothes leaning so ever handsomely against the wall. “Looking for me?” he smiled.
“Umm, yeah.” I slurred. Not knowing what to say or ask.
“You’re here to ask me about last night right.” He asked smiling, looking straight into my eyes as he walked towards me.
I nodded.
“Kyou-chan, you there?” he asked smiling as usual but this time, I smiled along with him without my own self control.
I felt a warm feeling creeping into my chest. A sensation that’s unexplainable. I saw him smiling and for the first time smirking. He came closer, closing the little gap in between us as he placed his hand behind my head for what I think for support and kissed me.
Not just I did not push him away, I gladly accepted and answered his kiss but I do know that the one controlling my body now isn’t myself but a certain someone who’s not suppose to exist, Kyou. Sho broke the kiss in need of air while I could feel my cheeks flush.
“Gomen ne Masaki. Kyou can be a little aggressive.” He smiled softly, pointing towards my lips.
I shook my head telling him it’s okay and that I understand.
“Kyou as you know is my lover.” He started, walking away to the wall he often lean onto. “I’m Sakurai Sho from another era, or time or whatever you people of this time calls it, but to tell the truth, I’m the same as Kyou, someone who has died.” even speaking of his own death, he was still smiling.
I remained silent, wanting him to continue and he did.
“Unlike Kyou who died during a battle, I committed suicide in order to be with him, but there was a price to pay. We were united for a while in the underworld but Kyou, he has the chance to be reborn and have a new life thus thinking about his future, I selfishly forced him into reincarnation.” His smile slowly disappeared and I could feel a piercing pain in my chest as if reacting to Sho’s emotions.
“…” I was speechless at first, thinking about the weird sensations that’s running wild in me. “What about you then? You said there was a price to pay..” ahh, I mentally hit myself for being so straight forward and at that very moment, I feel like burying my head into the ground so I could hide from embarrassment.
“The price was that I could never be reborn and go through the circle of reincarnation. It’s a horrible price to pay but for me, I’m actually thankful.” The smile returned as he smiled at his own statement.
“So then what brings you here? Kyou?” I asked without thinking again. I’m really an idiot.
He laughed, for the first time. “You called me here.” Again, he made his way towards me. “A part of your soul, where Kyou is, called me here on your behalf, I’m here to help you.” As he continued to approach me, I backed away. “You don’t have to feel fear. I’m indeed here to help you. The dream last night was to remind you how brave and strong you were. I want you to strive on and overcome you problems as well as face them head on, not run away like a coward. Running away won’t solve anything.” He closed our distance again, taking me into a hug but this time, he has his katana near my neck. “But if you were to fail, I’ll gladly claim Kyou for myself and my needs.”
“Sho-san.” I said calmly. “Arigatou~” I smiled.
He smiled in return and I turned away to the main street.
----
Conclusion now is that, I don’t know where my parents are, I have a warrior’s lover in me or well, I’m him or whatsoever. It’s too complicated and I also have someone waiting to kill me if I were to fail to face my problems head on. What a perfect life of a student I have there.
I sighed. I’ve been sighing a lot lately. Just then, my phone rang. I’ll normally ignore it as it’ll be one of those prank calls or those rude calls but this time, I answered. I should face those low lives that can’t stop bugging me and get a life, just like Sho said. To my surprise, it wasn’t one of those idiot but mum.
“Masaki? Ahh, you finally answered.” Mum sounded relief. I was too relief but I was finding the right words to use so I wouldn’t sound rude.
“Kaa-chan, where are you now?” I asked slowly. “Are you okay?”
“What are you talking about? I’m fine. Tou-san needs to settle some business contract and needs to be away for awhile. It was too sudden so we couldn’t contact you immediately.. and you another one, just wouldn’t answer your calls. Do you have any idea how many times I called?” Mum started nagging.
I missed listening to her nagging. It’s been really awhile. I’m glad I answered the call. The calls, the calls, what about the weird calls?
“Kaa-chan, are you free to talk? There’s something I want to ask you.” I asked as politely as possible.
“Sure dear.”
“The reason I haven’t been answering calls was because, I’ve received a lot of disturbing calls from unknown people. I even went to the extent of coming to a conclusion that kaa-chan and tou-chan got into trouble.” I said, straight forward not wanting to beat around the bush.
“Masaki. You’ve really mature ne~” I could feel her smiling at the other end of the line. “Those calls were from a long time ago, it’s just that you’re normally busy studying and I’m often at home to entertain those calls so you’re clueless about them. Once you’ve started a business of any kind, people around you will start to take useless but sometimes efficient actions to bring you and the company down.” She slowly explained everything through the phone. “I’m happy that you were able to handle them even though ignoring the calls isn’t a very good idea.” She commented and it somehow reminds me of a certain warrior, a smile crept up to my lips. “I have to go. I’ll call you later and be sure to pick up.”
I hang up and then fell straight into my train of thoughts. I’ve been practically worrying about nothing at all. Those fears, worries, everything weren’t real. It was just me thinking too much. It was me and if it wasn’t for Sho I wouldn’t have answered mum’s call and I wouldn’t know what had happen and Sho… It was Sho.
Sho was the first person besides my parents that has worried about me and supported me. I felt myself redden to the thought. No I can’t. Sho belongs to Kyou which is the past me not the current me. I can’t steal my own boyfriend. Now that’s just weird. I’m falling for a guy whom I must not fall for. It’ll change history. It’ll bring chaos. He’s not real. The simple thought of him not being real nearly brought me to tears.
Then it clicked. I blame my idiotic brain for not noticing it earlier. Everything, through everything, Sho was there. Sho, it was all about Sho. Everything that happened, it was all him. Immediately I went to the streets of ‘ruins’. I practically dashed my way through, not wanting to waste a single second. I wanted to see him that instant.
“Sho!” I can’t help but shout.
“You did well Masaki.” a gentle voice came from behind me and before I knew it, a pair of protective arms came circling my waist into a hug.
“Sho?” I turned to face him, having a confused look on my face.
He chuckled and smiled. He pulled me into another hug then slowly but surely placed his lips on mine. It was soft but sweet.
“I know what you’re thinking Masaki.” He said after pulling away. “True, I knew the truth from the very beginning, but I can’t tell you straight forwardly that your parents are fine. All I could do was guide you.” he frowned a bit before continuing. “I’m sorry Masaki, having to put you in all those fear and agony.”
I shook my head. This isn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want him to apologize.
“There’s no need to apologize.” I smiled. “But there’s a need to thank you.” he looked up, looking totally confused. “You’ve helped me as well as thought me to face my problems bravely and not run away like a coward.” I stared straight into his eyes, filled with sincerity.. “Arigatou..”
I took the chance to close our distance and brought him into a passionate kiss. A kiss of thanks, of gratitude or whatever you want to call it, but that kiss somehow felt so distant and miserable.
“Masaki, you know we can’t.” ahh, so he knew what my intention was. “I am a warrior, and I belong to Kyou and only Kyou alone.” He smiled and gave me a peck on the cheek. “I am here to help you, to guide you but now, you’re doing better on your own than I’ve predicted. As expected from Kyou’s spirit.” He’s standing right in front of me, yet his voice started to sound distant. “Remember Masaki, I will always be part of your soul just as you’re part of mine. We’re always connected…”
And with that, we didn’t even get to say our proper goodbyes and he was gone.
----
A/N- Nope it’s not one of the multi-chap >< it’s something random and messy thanks to my messy mind of history XD
Sakuraiba~!! YAY.. -_-“ It’s kinda messy.. I’m sorry ne~ Been really stressed out and drained lately.. XD still having exams and No-P nee-chan is gonna kill me if she sees this >< yikes.. XD so there you go.. an update after soooooo long.. =) gotta go back to my books soon. -_-“
I shall be back by the 15th of december ^^ sigh .. owh owh, and pls pardon my errors here coz it's not just messy, i wrote it in the middle of the night XD
Happy belated birthday Oh-chan ^^ We ALL LOVE YOU ~!! *darn I'm so late ><*
Charge me up with your comments good or bad.. I love them and I really need them *kisses* =)
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