The Fire Alarm.

Aug 25, 2006 23:00



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Comments 67

anonymous August 26 2006, 05:27:52 UTC
Good script writing here; I can see it being performed on stage. The stage directions and personal cues are detailed enough to make it a solid scene. The conversation was decent, but there were a few things which slightly bothered me. It wasn't the priest; his lines were in character and flawless. The condemned prisoner, however, wasn't quite as accurate as I would have imagined. There's nothing wrong with his childhood story; I think that's an excellant idea, and brilliantly told. It's the way he told it that's slightly off ( ... )

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anonymous August 26 2006, 05:28:44 UTC
I would like to see that on stage, It was very good.

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anonymous August 26 2006, 05:29:25 UTC
You might want to take some of the profanity out. I understand that it's in Second person's character to speak like that, but he comes off sounding like an idiot who just likes to curse.

Also, It's a bit like the stranger, so the plot although different did remind me of the stranger.

The main character is too steryotypical. He isn't original at all. He's your basic bad ***, so you knew what was coming. Not terrible though.

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anonymous August 26 2006, 05:30:02 UTC
Pretty good story. It was interesting that for all those years, to be told of something and then finding out the truth. Almost like finding out that there really is no Santa and the Easter bunny really has no significance at all.
I think he would rather be in jail that at that school he was in. And, to actually make a fire just to hear any type of fire alarm was his personal triumph.
Not bad at all.

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anonymous August 26 2006, 05:30:41 UTC
Your story deserves compliments its great!

I believe in you, I would like to commend you for expressing yourself well, if that was your experience?

I know that saying all those things are everyones right. But as a member of our democratic locale, I must say that all students are experiencing the same, like me, when I was still in middle school.

You know here's a piece of advice my dear friend, do your best as a student especially if you are a fulltime student, because not all students can perform 100% best, because of some reasons.

Like for example, working students, they half manage their time, time for school and time for work and in that case they would find it more difficult than that of being a full time student.

So please do your best always. In real life, theres no such thing such as easy life.

thats all for my turn!

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