(Untitled)

[rasiah]

I believe I'm supposed to report to somebody here, but I'm afraid you're all such utter hedonists there's been enough going on here in the past year or so that I can't get my bearings right away.

Good God, do any of you realise how thick the sexual tension is here? Like walking through mud.I was led to believe my superiors forwarded my files, but

Comments

[mabit]

Hello!

I'm Meligot, and I'll be your boss for today I got the files just a short while ago. Thanks for checking in. Welcome to THEY!

...And I promise I don't usually sound like the perky girl in the next office cubicle down.

[rasiah]

Thomas Rasiah, ma'am, as you probably know from the files, and perky is quite all right.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm expected to do here, so perhaps when you've a moment we can go over that? I was told that T.H.E.Y. was severely understaffed, hence my transferrence, but not what you needed me for.

Besides, T.H.I.S. doesn't lend out agents easily.

[mabit]

Ah, but perky is not quite what I'm going for, Mr. Rasiah. (Unless you prefer Thomas.) I generally like to hit a balance between professional and approachably friendly, with perky not registering at all.

And yes, of course. T.H.E.Y. does diplomatic work, for the most part, although diplomacy is only broadly what we do. It's our job to solve the worlds' problems. We attempt to stop wars, and end corrupt regimes, and make sure treaties are signed. Our general range of talent, however, runs the gamut from diplomacy to spying.

We also have advance scouts, to get the feel of new worlds and compile information for me and the computer system. I'm your head dispatch officer. I'm the one who briefs you before you go out on mission.

And I believe, based on the records that were sent me, that you will be in the diplomacy department, perhaps on the spying end of things.

[rasiah]

Mr. Rasiah or Thomas suit just as well as each other, ma'am, whichever you prefer.

Diplomacy and espionage are my areas of expertise from my work with T.H.I.S., my handicap notwithstanding, although I believe advance scouting would be inadvisable, all things considered. Usually I'm able to pass as normal, but I assume you prefer your information about new worlds to come from someone who doesn't experience them in quite the way I do.

If it's not too forward, ma'am, despite my disability, I am better at espionage. I can find out things that others can't.

[lord_alden]

Good God, are we actually getting a new agent who is not either an inexperienced whelp or hacking our system? Could it be we are in fact getting a professional?

Hello, sir.

[rasiah]

It's been some years since I could be classed as a whelp, and while I've got sufficient computer skills to handle the more intricate workings of these machines, I'm no hacker.

Thomas Rasiah, recent tranfer from Tactical Headquarters Intelligence Service.

[lord_alden]

It is still probable you know more than do I about all this horrible technology. I just use it because they tell me to.

Lord Alden, T.H.E.Y. agent for the past twenty-six years.

[rasiah]

It's entirely possible, I'm afraid. I had to use the more advanced programs on computers before I was recruited, out of sheer neccesity, and I found no reason not to hone my skills when I had the opportunity.

I would say it's a pleasure to meet you, but I tend to reserve such sentiments for actual meetings. I find it much harder for people to lie to me effectively when they meet me in person.

Not that I'm accusing you of subterfuge, of course.

[justwingit]

Um. Hi?

[rasiah]

Well, aren't you a nervous little thing?

Hello.

I'm assuming, then, that you're one of my new co-workers?

[justwingit]

Apparently! I'm Hayes. How're you? Hope you're settling in well? Stuff like that?

[rasiah]

Oh, God, it's going to be fun talking to you in person. Better get some painkillers.

I'm settling in well enough. It's always a little disconcerting at first, but it seems an easy enough place to get accustomed to.

My name is Thomas. I was tranferred from another branch of WE.

[armin_isaac]

Hi there.

[rasiah]

Hello.

You're the gentleman with the monkey problem, I believe?

[armin_isaac]

That's me -- Isaac Armin. (Nancy, according to my Jack.)

Normally I don't have such an issue, really.

[rasiah]

Thomas Rasiah. I'm an agent from T.H.I.S., but they saw fit to transfer me here to help alleviate the staff shortage.

I would assume monkeys aren't an everyday problem, no.

[juilliard_vichy]

His name is what?

A bit adrift, m'sieur Rasiah? I am terribly sorry to hear that. Could you use any assistance?

[rasiah]

This place is a little confusing. I imagine it's easy enough to get around for normal people, but I've never exactly been that. Thank you for your offer, although really I think I'll acclimatise in time.

[juilliard_vichy]

Upon intense reflection I can't particularly name anyone here who fits that description in the slightest. You are a transfer? From where?

[rasiah]

Tactical Headquarters Intelligence Service. My name is Thomas Rasiah, as you've apparently already found out.