loggage
Arguing's pointless when you know what's going to happen.
Finn looked up from his handheld, frowning. Plan? What plan?
Alden was lying on the bed, frowning in concentration as he typed something into his handheld. At a quick glance it looked like mission logging notes of some sort.
Finn shut his handheld off with a touch and got up, crossing over to where Alden lay and sprawling out on his back next to him, looking up into Alden’s face.
Alden shot him a quick glance and a little grin. “Hullo,” he murmured, finished what he was typing, and pushed the handheld away.
“Hi,” Finn said softly, completing the oddly formal routine. “Mabit said I should talk to you.”
Alden’s eyebrows rose. “Is she acting the relationship councilor now? Good God.” He grinned again. “What, precisely, did our Mellie tell you to talk to me about?”
“I don’t think she’s particularly concerned about our relationship,” Finn murmured, with a little flickering smile that died rather quickly. “No, it was about missions and what we’re going to do next.”
“Ah,” said Alden quietly, and looked away. “Well. I’d prefer doing spywork.”
“And that’s better done with one,” Finn finished, staring up a the ceiling and swallowing hard.
“Not necessarily,” Alden said, just a touch desperately. “I mean. We wouldn’t... see each other very much, no. But it would be useful, Finn.”
“I don’t usually do spywork,” Finn said quietly. “It’s not what I’m good at.”
Alden winced. “I suppose we could do something diplomatic,” he said at length, a little thickly.
“But you’d be more use with this,” Finn pointed out, trying to keep his voice even.
“I would, rather,” Alden agreed, and rolled over to sit up with a little wrenching laugh. “I don’t think you’ll much like the way I usually do spywork, though.”
Finn rolled onto his side, so he could keep watching the other man. “Wouldn’t I?” he whispered.
“Not... No, you wouldn’t.” Alden gave him a horrible little smile. “Nearly everyone knows me, lad. I’m good at what I do. And they won’t believe for a moment that I’ve decided to go to the other side.”
“Well, no.” Finn sat up slowly. “So how would you-?”
“I’d,” Alden started, and stopped for a moment, and raked a hand through his hair, and then said very quietly, “People say very interesting things when they believe you’re completely in their power.”
Finn went very still for a moment. Then he lunged at Alden, pinning him against the bed, holding so hard he was almost certain that it hurt. He buried his face against Alden’s shirt and held on, wondering why he so often felt that the man would vanish if he let go.
“Finn,” Alden murmured, hands gentle on his back. “What sort of answer is that?”
“Fuck,” Finn whispered. “Why do you always have to get hurt? And they will hurt you. Especially if you go back there.”
“Doesn’t hurt too much,” Alden returned quietly. “I mean that. Not much does, really. It’s all right.”
“No it’s not.” Finn shut his eyes, went quiet for a moment and just listened to Alden’s heartbeat. “But you’re going anyway, aren’t you.”
“I won’t if you tell me not to,” Alden whispered.
“And what would happen if I did that?” Finn said softly. “How fair would that be?”
“Then we’d think of something else to do,” Alden returned, and gently pushed Finn away enough to look at his face. “Look, if I do go back to that world and do what I need, what will you do?”
“Meligot will find something for me,” Finn whispered. He curled his fingers around Alden’s. “I’m a diplomat. She’ll find something.”
“And how am I to know you won’t just do what you did last time I was there?” Alden murmured.
“Because she’ll send me somewhere and tell me to be useful,” Finn said quietly.
Alden went silent for a moment, simply looking at him. “I don’t have to be as useful as I can,” he whispered. “I’ll still be useful on a diplomatic mission.”
Finn shut his eyes. “You know where you should be,” he whispered.
Alden cupped Finn’s face in his hands, gently stroked Finn’s cheeks with his thumbs. “That’s very brave of you, lad.”
“I love you.” Finn gave him a trembling smile. “And sure I’d like to have you with me always but I still have that even when you can’t be.”
Alden’s hands trembled, very slightly. That was all, and when he nodded there was no pain in his face. “And I love you, Finn. It shouldn’t take too long, anyway. I won’t-- want to be there for a very long time. Just long enough to get a bit of information. Mellie can probably make up some technology that they can’t discover. Voice-activated, perhaps, so I’ll never have to get it out. I’ll ask.”
“Okay.” Finn curled close against him. “You ought to tell her,” he whispered. “Can you do that without me having to move?”
Alden grinned and gestured. His handheld slid across the bed. “Yes,” he told Finn, and poked its screen to life, then kissed the top of Finn’s head. “I know Mellie will find something interesting for you to do.”
“Yeah.” Finn settled more fully against him and forced himself to relax while Alden typed. “I love you,” he whispered again.
“I love you,” Alden said in return, like an echo or an affirmation. “Only for a few days, Finn. Only until I know enough.”
“Only until then,” Finn agreed, and that would have to do for now.
Finn looked up from his handheld, frowning. Plan? What plan?
Alden was lying on the bed, frowning in concentration as he typed something into his handheld. At a quick glance it looked like mission logging notes of some sort.
Finn shut his handheld off with a touch and got up, crossing over to where Alden lay and sprawling out on his back next to him, looking up into Alden’s face.
Alden shot him a quick glance and a little grin. “Hullo,” he murmured, finished what he was typing, and pushed the handheld away.
“Hi,” Finn said softly, completing the oddly formal routine. “Mabit said I should talk to you.”
Alden’s eyebrows rose. “Is she acting the relationship councilor now? Good God.” He grinned again. “What, precisely, did our Mellie tell you to talk to me about?”
“I don’t think she’s particularly concerned about our relationship,” Finn murmured, with a little flickering smile that died rather quickly. “No, it was about missions and what we’re going to do next.”
“Ah,” said Alden quietly, and looked away. “Well. I’d prefer doing spywork.”
“And that’s better done with one,” Finn finished, staring up a the ceiling and swallowing hard.
“Not necessarily,” Alden said, just a touch desperately. “I mean. We wouldn’t... see each other very much, no. But it would be useful, Finn.”
“I don’t usually do spywork,” Finn said quietly. “It’s not what I’m good at.”
Alden winced. “I suppose we could do something diplomatic,” he said at length, a little thickly.
“But you’d be more use with this,” Finn pointed out, trying to keep his voice even.
“I would, rather,” Alden agreed, and rolled over to sit up with a little wrenching laugh. “I don’t think you’ll much like the way I usually do spywork, though.”
Finn rolled onto his side, so he could keep watching the other man. “Wouldn’t I?” he whispered.
“Not... No, you wouldn’t.” Alden gave him a horrible little smile. “Nearly everyone knows me, lad. I’m good at what I do. And they won’t believe for a moment that I’ve decided to go to the other side.”
“Well, no.” Finn sat up slowly. “So how would you-?”
“I’d,” Alden started, and stopped for a moment, and raked a hand through his hair, and then said very quietly, “People say very interesting things when they believe you’re completely in their power.”
Finn went very still for a moment. Then he lunged at Alden, pinning him against the bed, holding so hard he was almost certain that it hurt. He buried his face against Alden’s shirt and held on, wondering why he so often felt that the man would vanish if he let go.
“Finn,” Alden murmured, hands gentle on his back. “What sort of answer is that?”
“Fuck,” Finn whispered. “Why do you always have to get hurt? And they will hurt you. Especially if you go back there.”
“Doesn’t hurt too much,” Alden returned quietly. “I mean that. Not much does, really. It’s all right.”
“No it’s not.” Finn shut his eyes, went quiet for a moment and just listened to Alden’s heartbeat. “But you’re going anyway, aren’t you.”
“I won’t if you tell me not to,” Alden whispered.
“And what would happen if I did that?” Finn said softly. “How fair would that be?”
“Then we’d think of something else to do,” Alden returned, and gently pushed Finn away enough to look at his face. “Look, if I do go back to that world and do what I need, what will you do?”
“Meligot will find something for me,” Finn whispered. He curled his fingers around Alden’s. “I’m a diplomat. She’ll find something.”
“And how am I to know you won’t just do what you did last time I was there?” Alden murmured.
“Because she’ll send me somewhere and tell me to be useful,” Finn said quietly.
Alden went silent for a moment, simply looking at him. “I don’t have to be as useful as I can,” he whispered. “I’ll still be useful on a diplomatic mission.”
Finn shut his eyes. “You know where you should be,” he whispered.
Alden cupped Finn’s face in his hands, gently stroked Finn’s cheeks with his thumbs. “That’s very brave of you, lad.”
“I love you.” Finn gave him a trembling smile. “And sure I’d like to have you with me always but I still have that even when you can’t be.”
Alden’s hands trembled, very slightly. That was all, and when he nodded there was no pain in his face. “And I love you, Finn. It shouldn’t take too long, anyway. I won’t-- want to be there for a very long time. Just long enough to get a bit of information. Mellie can probably make up some technology that they can’t discover. Voice-activated, perhaps, so I’ll never have to get it out. I’ll ask.”
“Okay.” Finn curled close against him. “You ought to tell her,” he whispered. “Can you do that without me having to move?”
Alden grinned and gestured. His handheld slid across the bed. “Yes,” he told Finn, and poked its screen to life, then kissed the top of Finn’s head. “I know Mellie will find something interesting for you to do.”
“Yeah.” Finn settled more fully against him and forced himself to relax while Alden typed. “I love you,” he whispered again.
“I love you,” Alden said in return, like an echo or an affirmation. “Only for a few days, Finn. Only until I know enough.”
“Only until then,” Finn agreed, and that would have to do for now.