We wish you a Barge-y Christmas
Well, I suppose we definitely could have had a worse time than spending three days acting like college students on a ski weekend. At least the shopping was good when you could actually look through the snow to see what we were getting our greedy little hands on.
At least the beer was good.
Dear Admiral wearing a Santa disguise,
In my near year long time here, this is quite possibly one of the more foolish things you've forced us to do, and it completely reiterates the fact that you're probably some horny teenage kid playing god. Especially with the mistletoe. But considering I don't have any choice for the letter, here we go.
For my delightful and darling little brother, I want him to get a Corallus caninus or the emerald tree boa. Oh, and the terrarium and heat lamp to go with the snake. Also, give him a good selection of skin cream. And make Wichita stop messing with him, that would be nice considering he won't let me make her stop should she come back again.
For my own personal warden and conscience, a Jiminy Cricket pendant. Silver, not gold and with a diamond to serve as the star. It's simple but classy like she is. Also, give her some weird future tea thing, and a make up kit that contains more than the standard nail polish that she has.
For Erik, a bed complete with all of the sheets and blankets and pillows that come with it. And fixed with a note: "Only corpses sleep in coffins, and you're not dead yet. -Ana." And give him one of the masks like the other one had, with an opening for his mouth.
For Damon, a yellow rain slicker, rain boots and hat with the note "for flood protection."
For Snape: A really nice gift basket with toiletries that replenish every month, including conditioner. But don't be obnoxious and get him anything overtly offensive or fruity.
For Narvin: Some kind of black hole-like hiding place for whatever I got close to during the mistletoe kiss, or a silly spy gadget from the 40s. One of those gun rings or something. The kind with the 22 that you put up to someone's neck.
For Doctor Smith: More ginger beer and a scarf with question marks knit into it.
For Claire: some kind of charm for her bracelet.
For me? I want some good sushi, a good pair of sneakers for when I go running with Uhura and for Rex to be alright if I go. I know you don't actually give a damn about what happens to us, but that's what I want.
At least the beer was good.
Dear Admiral wearing a Santa disguise,
In my near year long time here, this is quite possibly one of the more foolish things you've forced us to do, and it completely reiterates the fact that you're probably some horny teenage kid playing god. Especially with the mistletoe. But considering I don't have any choice for the letter, here we go.
For my delightful and darling little brother, I want him to get a Corallus caninus or the emerald tree boa. Oh, and the terrarium and heat lamp to go with the snake. Also, give him a good selection of skin cream. And make Wichita stop messing with him, that would be nice considering he won't let me make her stop should she come back again.
For my own personal warden and conscience, a Jiminy Cricket pendant. Silver, not gold and with a diamond to serve as the star. It's simple but classy like she is. Also, give her some weird future tea thing, and a make up kit that contains more than the standard nail polish that she has.
For Erik, a bed complete with all of the sheets and blankets and pillows that come with it. And fixed with a note: "Only corpses sleep in coffins, and you're not dead yet. -Ana." And give him one of the masks like the other one had, with an opening for his mouth.
For Damon, a yellow rain slicker, rain boots and hat with the note "for flood protection."
For Snape: A really nice gift basket with toiletries that replenish every month, including conditioner. But don't be obnoxious and get him anything overtly offensive or fruity.
For Narvin: Some kind of black hole-like hiding place for whatever I got close to during the mistletoe kiss, or a silly spy gadget from the 40s. One of those gun rings or something. The kind with the 22 that you put up to someone's neck.
For Doctor Smith: More ginger beer and a scarf with question marks knit into it.
For Claire: some kind of charm for her bracelet.
For me? I want some good sushi, a good pair of sneakers for when I go running with Uhura and for Rex to be alright if I go. I know you don't actually give a damn about what happens to us, but that's what I want.