(no subject)
hm. posted a long entry about how i'm feeling and i think lj f***** up on me. been so long and still ain't posted. it's 5:40am and i'm working at 8. my bike's wheel got jacked i gotta walk to work and i'm still awake. sober. thinking.
and what i really wrote didn't matter.. all that's left is "update about everything..
fell off my bike when the handlebars and stem broke.
managed to get it bolted in place but brake cables are screwed badly.
went brakeless. speeding past traffic made me braver. try to stop and be dead.
some minor accidents. am okay. waiting for chief manager to get back from holiday.. wants to less work so i'll have time to look for jobs.
more colleagues express their fondness for me. don't like them. beginning to believe i'm a flirt.
forgeting my life, my goals, who i wanted to be. believing i'm stupid.. can't remember much of anything technical.. computers aren't my stuff already.
chinese new year was better. i've become more outgoing already. bad thing was i took all the money i had and spent it on a phone.. and i knew even before buying that it wasn't a good deal.. i still bought it at +60 the retail price. and didn't care. noticed how different i am.. thinking of the past.. how things could have gone.. but i don't want to go back. i want to create something new with the past i had. i miss somebody alot.
everything about work is stupid. i hate everything about it. stuck in a relationship i don't want to have. it's my fault i didn't give the right signals"..
and what i really wrote didn't matter.. all that's left is "update about everything..
fell off my bike when the handlebars and stem broke.
managed to get it bolted in place but brake cables are screwed badly.
went brakeless. speeding past traffic made me braver. try to stop and be dead.
some minor accidents. am okay. waiting for chief manager to get back from holiday.. wants to less work so i'll have time to look for jobs.
more colleagues express their fondness for me. don't like them. beginning to believe i'm a flirt.
forgeting my life, my goals, who i wanted to be. believing i'm stupid.. can't remember much of anything technical.. computers aren't my stuff already.
chinese new year was better. i've become more outgoing already. bad thing was i took all the money i had and spent it on a phone.. and i knew even before buying that it wasn't a good deal.. i still bought it at +60 the retail price. and didn't care. noticed how different i am.. thinking of the past.. how things could have gone.. but i don't want to go back. i want to create something new with the past i had. i miss somebody alot.
everything about work is stupid. i hate everything about it. stuck in a relationship i don't want to have. it's my fault i didn't give the right signals"..