How we were.
A conversation we had online a day or two after his big breakdown. Probably in Mid-February...
I am greenizeonu. Steven is ksyrium5.
Just to clarify, the pictures we are talking about were all the pictures of me and Elvis that I had on my myspace and facebook. He asked me to take them down because they upset him, so I did. I thought it was a bit much, but I wanted to make him happy. (In case you don't remember I was with Elvis for four years and broke up with him about a year ago.)
ksyrium5 (9:58:24 PM): hey you
green ize on u (9:58:38 PM): Hey!
green ize on u (9:58:52 PM): How are you?
ksyrium5 (9:59:07 PM): aite. had a damn long day at school
ksyrium5 (9:59:13 PM): from 8am, and i just got back home
ksyrium5 (9:59:15 PM): strong
green ize on u (9:59:18 PM): Holy shit.
ksyrium5 (9:59:27 PM): no joke
green ize on u (9:59:28 PM): Sorry dude.
green ize on u (9:59:41 PM): I did homework all day...
green ize on u (9:59:45 PM): Poo...
green ize on u (10:00:07 PM): But at least I got stuff done.
green ize on u (10:00:17 PM): How was class
green ize on u (10:00:18 PM): ?
ksyrium5 (10:01:09 PM): twas good times
ksyrium5 (10:01:19 PM): i've got the highest grade in my econ class so far
ksyrium5 (10:01:25 PM): even tho we've had 3 assignments haha
ksyrium5 (10:01:32 PM): still an ego booster for sure
green ize on u (10:01:43 PM): Wow! That's great!
green ize on u (10:02:11 PM): Seriously awesome.
ksyrium5 (10:02:31 PM): yea it was sweet
ksyrium5 (10:02:38 PM): how was your day. we didn't talk too much
green ize on u (10:03:06 PM): Yeah, I was kinda wondering about that!
green ize on u (10:03:29 PM): (I'm playing with my little cloud faces. Tee hee)
green ize on u (10:04:18 PM): My day was fine. I don't know if I told you, but you know how I didn't feel well yesterday morning?
ksyrium5 (10:04:26 PM): haha i love em
ksyrium5 (10:04:29 PM): yeah
green ize on u (10:04:41 PM): Well, it didn't get any better for the rest of the day, so I only ended up going to one class.
green ize on u (10:04:59 PM): And found out that I got a 60 out of 100 on a test.
green ize on u (10:05:07 PM): -headdesk-
ksyrium5 (10:05:13 PM): are you serious?
ksyrium5 (10:05:16 PM): wall
ksyrium5 (10:05:17 PM): head desk
ksyrium5 (10:05:22 PM): you gotta mix it up
green ize on u (10:05:32 PM): Exactly.
green ize on u (10:05:39 PM): So... uh...
green ize on u (10:05:47 PM): I have some studying to do too... =\
ksyrium5 (10:06:22 PM): all good. text me whenever the
ksyrium5 (10:06:24 PM): n
green ize on u (10:06:38 PM): No, I mean, that I'm not doing particularly well.
green ize on u (10:06:43 PM): I'm not going!
green ize on u (10:06:53 PM): I freaking want to talk to you!
ksyrium5 (10:07:01 PM): haha i like this news
green ize on u (10:07:53 PM): Is it news? I'm pretty sure I make that clear regularly.
green ize on u (10:07:55 PM): lol
ksyrium5 (10:08:00 PM): didn't mean to sound douchey last night btw...
ksyrium5 (10:08:05 PM): lol you def do
green ize on u (10:08:20 PM): You didn't.
green ize on u (10:08:32 PM): Check my facebook though...
green ize on u (10:08:36 PM): They're all gone.
green ize on u (10:09:00 PM): Took me a freaking hour or something.
ksyrium5 (10:09:02 PM): i trust you
ksyrium5 (10:09:50 PM): you just gotta see it from where i am... i was gonna comment on your page then i see that guy... and knowing that you've said the same things to him that you have to me didn't make me feel amazing
green ize on u (10:10:43 PM): I understand, don't worry about it, okay?
green ize on u (10:11:18 PM): I wouldn't have taken them down if I thought you were being ridiculous
green ize on u (10:12:06 PM): And honestly, you should not think about it that way.
ksyrium5 (10:12:50 PM): what do you mean?
ksyrium5 (10:12:54 PM): how am i thinking about it
green ize on u (10:13:09 PM): "I said the same things to him that I say to you."
green ize on u (10:13:13 PM): Not true.
green ize on u (10:14:29 PM): Just isn't.
ksyrium5 (10:15:21 PM): you were with him for 5 years, so i dont blame you
green ize on u (10:15:26 PM): four.
ksyrium5 (10:15:36 PM): dont worry about it.
green ize on u (10:15:41 PM): but it was shitty for most of it, you forget.
green ize on u (10:17:24 PM): You make me feel good about myself.
green ize on u (10:17:34 PM): He made me nearly suicidal. Not comparable.
ksyrium5 (10:17:37 PM): forget it. we all have our exes. you dont wanna hear about mine in any way.
ksyrium5 (10:17:48 PM): i'd prefer to hear the same
green ize on u (10:18:27 PM): Okay.
green ize on u (10:19:05 PM): Sorry I upset you.
ksyrium5 (10:19:40 PM): you didnt. i promise. i'm just talking to you.
green ize on u (10:20:24 PM): Okay, if you say so.
ksyrium5 (10:20:29 PM): i shouldn't have done it, but i got this sense of morbid curiosity when i was going to comment on your page
ksyrium5 (10:20:50 PM): and i looked at what you had posted on each others comments back in the day
green ize on u (10:21:08 PM): On myspace?
ksyrium5 (10:21:11 PM): bad idea... especially the way things have been going lately
ksyrium5 (10:21:12 PM): yeah
green ize on u (10:21:55 PM): Steven... why did you do that?
ksyrium5 (10:22:21 PM): i knew nothing good was going to come out of it, but it was just the morbid curiosity.
ksyrium5 (10:22:40 PM): like watching a train wreck. same kind of antic
green ize on u (10:24:46 PM): Why on Earth? I mean, obviously it has no relavance to what is going on now.
green ize on u (10:24:51 PM): Why would you do that?
ksyrium5 (10:24:53 PM): one thing lead to another after getting hung up about the pics. trust me i dont do this kind of self destructive shit on a regular basis
ksyrium5 (10:26:09 PM): that's why
green ize on u (10:27:10 PM): Steven... I don't ask you about your past.
green ize on u (10:27:13 PM): Everyone has a past.
green ize on u (10:27:22 PM): If I could change it, I could.
green ize on u (10:27:27 PM): *would.
ksyrium5 (10:27:41 PM): i didn't ask you about your past, it was just out there in plain view
ksyrium5 (10:27:47 PM): what kind of person wouldn't look at it
green ize on u (10:28:28 PM): Okay, well I took the pictures down immediately after you asked me to.
ksyrium5 (10:29:12 PM): and i thank you for that. it seriously means a lot
ksyrium5 (10:30:24 PM): i dont want to have down times like this anymore...
green ize on u (10:30:56 PM): Down times in what sense?
ksyrium5 (10:31:21 PM): feeling down. as in shit. and it's affecting you
ksyrium5 (10:31:36 PM): you're too much fun when you're happy. fuck this drama...
green ize on u (10:32:49 PM): Listen, I'm able to deal with down times.
green ize on u (10:32:59 PM): Believe it or not.
green ize on u (10:33:58 PM): But know that I'm here for you, and I'm not your enemy when you're feeling bad. I'm not out to hurt you.
ksyrium5 (10:34:17 PM): I never thought that you were. I'm serious
ksyrium5 (10:34:57 PM): trust me i know when girls are bringing me down lol
green ize on u (10:35:43 PM): =)
ksyrium5 (10:36:27 PM): so are we still on for thursday, muffin
ksyrium5 (10:36:37 PM): buns
green ize on u (10:36:41 PM): I would love that.
green ize on u (10:36:47 PM): As long as you don't mind.
ksyrium5 (10:37:01 PM): hopefully things are better in the house by then
green ize on u (10:37:15 PM): Is it okay if I come over?
ksyrium5 (10:37:18 PM): so if they are, then you'll be here for sure
green ize on u (10:38:10 PM): Is everything okay?
ksyrium5 (10:38:35 PM): i'll just say things have definitely been better...
ksyrium5 (10:38:48 PM): haven't talked to my parents since sunday
green ize on u (10:38:52 PM): Why is that?
green ize on u (10:39:19 PM): I mean, at all?
ksyrium5 (10:39:24 PM): they really didnt give a fuck about what i had to tell them about the other night
ksyrium5 (10:39:30 PM): not at all
green ize on u (10:39:45 PM): Are you kidding?
green ize on u (10:40:02 PM): They just didn't understand at all?
ksyrium5 (10:40:05 PM): still aren't giving me any money for the week.
ksyrium5 (10:40:19 PM): didn't seem to care that i'm still looking for jobs
ksyrium5 (10:40:21 PM): w/e
green ize on u (10:40:28 PM): What the fuck?
green ize on u (10:40:39 PM): That's really strange.
ksyrium5 (10:40:52 PM): they think being hardasses is going to teach me lessons on how to deal with adult life
green ize on u (10:41:30 PM): Did you express the magnitude of the situation to them?
ksyrium5 (10:42:09 PM): yeah
ksyrium5 (10:42:26 PM): i might go talk to them agian tonight. but i dunno
green ize on u (10:42:36 PM): You should.
green ize on u (10:42:50 PM): Say, "listen, I wouldn't ask you for help unless I really needed it."
ksyrium5 (10:42:54 PM): they just piss me off whenever i talk to them cause they always make it seem like they do everything for me and i give nothing back
green ize on u (10:44:17 PM): Say, "just listen to me for a bit. Let me say what I have to say all the way through."
green ize on u (10:44:26 PM): Start off by saying how much you appreciate what they do.
green ize on u (10:44:29 PM): List examples.
ksyrium5 (10:44:33 PM): sure i dont do chores around the house, etc. but maybe it would be a little easier if i wasn't trying to train, do homework, go to class, go to work and maintain somewhat of a relationship with my friends and girlfriend
green ize on u (10:44:57 PM): Maybe you can do little things.
ksyrium5 (10:45:02 PM): the latter of which i'm not doing a stellar job..
green ize on u (10:45:03 PM): Like take out the trash.
green ize on u (10:45:15 PM): You're doing fine.
green ize on u (10:45:25 PM): Just offer to do things in return.
ksyrium5 (10:45:33 PM): i really dont want to drag you into any of this though
green ize on u (10:45:33 PM): Say exactly that though.
green ize on u (10:45:37 PM): Make a compromise.
ksyrium5 (10:45:40 PM): you have enough to deal with.
green ize on u (10:45:46 PM): Psh... shut up already.
green ize on u (10:46:17 PM): You obviously need someone to talk to.
ksyrium5 (10:46:19 PM): i love when you order me around. mmm...
green ize on u (10:46:29 PM): Tee hee. =)
green ize on u (10:46:55 PM): Seriously though...
ksyrium5 (10:46:59 PM): i have people to talk to. it's just that i'm never one to talk to anyone about personal issues likethis
ksyrium5 (10:47:12 PM): regardless of how good of friends i hvae to talk to
green ize on u (10:47:18 PM): Well, that's why you tend to explode.
ksyrium5 (10:47:24 PM): i'm not down for complaining to people
green ize on u (10:47:32 PM): Believe me, I know how that feels.
green ize on u (10:47:35 PM): It's really okay.
ksyrium5 (10:48:15 PM): but like i said the other night. you can tell me what you want, but i seriously doubt this is a good impression on you
green ize on u (10:48:39 PM): Listen, I'm flattered when you talk to me.
ksyrium5 (10:48:44 PM): us being together for a month, and me thinking i can drop all this all on you
green ize on u (10:48:51 PM): You're not "dropping things on me"
green ize on u (10:49:24 PM): I far prefer this to a superficial relationship in which I have no idea what is really going on with you and we just pretend we're happy all the time.
green ize on u (10:49:32 PM): The idea of that kinda makes me want to vomit.
ksyrium5 (10:50:03 PM): yeah... i know
ksyrium5 (10:50:10 PM): we only are allowed to make amber vomit
green ize on u (10:50:18 PM): Exactly!
green ize on u (10:51:02 PM): Uh... believe it or not... I love you. In my personal opinion, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, that entails actually giving a shit about the person.
green ize on u (10:51:21 PM): So... like I said...
ksyrium5 (10:51:48 PM): i love you and everything thing you do for me.
green ize on u (10:51:48 PM): You should emphasize what you appreciate about your parent.
green ize on u (10:52:19 PM): I love YOU and everything YOU do for me.
ksyrium5 (10:52:56 PM): ha i dont do too much
green ize on u (10:53:03 PM): You do more than you know.
ksyrium5 (10:53:15 PM): i just make sure you don't have too much food money to roll over with for the next semester
green ize on u (10:53:21 PM): Psh... IO
green ize on u (10:53:30 PM): I'm right on target with my meal plan actually.
ksyrium5 (10:53:41 PM): glad i could help
green ize on u (10:53:45 PM): I'm on meal plan C anyway, it doesn't roll over.
green ize on u (10:53:59 PM): You actually are helping, lol
green ize on u (10:54:25 PM): No, but seriously.
ksyrium5 (10:54:35 PM): your seal just made a serious face
ksyrium5 (10:54:42 PM): one to be reckoned with
green ize on u (10:54:50 PM): He can be seirous sometimes too.
green ize on u (10:55:03 PM): He's one serious motherfucker.
ksyrium5 (10:55:19 PM): as he should be, there's seal business that needs to be tended to
ksyrium5 (10:55:24 PM): can't be fuckin around
green ize on u (10:55:36 PM): Precisely.
green ize on u (10:55:47 PM): Anyway, final word. Talk to your parents.
ksyrium5 (10:55:48 PM): but yeah, i'll talk to my parents
green ize on u (10:55:54 PM): Oh good. =)
green ize on u (10:56:01 PM): Just be willing to compromise.
ksyrium5 (10:56:03 PM): i dont like coming home anymore
green ize on u (10:56:09 PM): Tell them that.
green ize on u (10:56:17 PM): Tell them just how much it's affecting you.
green ize on u (10:56:21 PM): They will care.
green ize on u (10:56:29 PM): They can't avoid caring.
green ize on u (10:56:35 PM): Because you're not bullshitting.
green ize on u (10:56:41 PM): You're really bothered by this.
green ize on u (10:56:58 PM): They can't ignore that, they love you too much.
ksyrium5 (10:57:12 PM): we'll se
ksyrium5 (10:57:13 PM): e
ksyrium5 (10:58:41 PM): how are you feeling though? better than you were the day i was with you
green ize on u (10:59:07 PM): Much better, thank you. =)
green ize on u (10:59:23 PM): You know, I just had a thought.
ksyrium5 (10:59:45 PM): whats that
green ize on u (11:00:00 PM): The way my parents are... they only punish me when they think I don't give a shit.
green ize on u (11:00:21 PM): When they think I'm taking advantage of them.
ksyrium5 (11:01:00 PM): i dont see how they can think i'm taking advantage of them
green ize on u (11:01:07 PM): Maybe they just miss you.
green ize on u (11:02:06 PM): You don't like coming home. They probably notice the distance between you and it bothers them so it comes off as ange rand disinterest.
green ize on u (11:02:12 PM): *anger
ksyrium5 (11:02:34 PM): it's a cycle that needs to stop...
ksyrium5 (11:02:49 PM): i can't focus on the things i need to focus on'
green ize on u (11:02:55 PM): Exactly.
green ize on u (11:03:25 PM): Tell them that distance bothers you to, and that it's making it hard for you to do the things you need to.
ksyrium5 (11:03:42 PM): so i was thinking about it, that statement i said about us being part of a disposable society was pretty damn good
ksyrium5 (11:03:48 PM): i kinda amazed myself
green ize on u (11:03:53 PM): That was freaking amazing.
green ize on u (11:04:01 PM): It really made me think.
ksyrium5 (11:06:14 PM): it's true though. nothing today is really valuable enough to maintain. its all replaceable. even people
green ize on u (11:06:30 PM): Disgusting really.
green ize on u (11:06:51 PM): Everything moves in cycles too, people go through phazes and nothing mantains it's importance.
green ize on u (11:07:10 PM): There is a lack of sentimentality and human connection.
ksyrium5 (11:07:39 PM): the attention span pretty much no longer exists
ksyrium5 (11:08:01 PM): one more reason why i should have grown up in miami in the 80s
green ize on u (11:08:19 PM): Haha, I'm glad you didn't thougn.
green ize on u (11:08:21 PM): *though
ksyrium5 (11:08:42 PM): na you woulda been there with me.
green ize on u (11:09:01 PM): Or you would be here now and you'd be quite the pedophile.
ksyrium5 (11:09:09 PM): i would have seen you at the gym in a jazzercise class
ksyrium5 (11:09:29 PM): digging on your neon spandex and sweat bands
ksyrium5 (11:09:35 PM): so hot
green ize on u (11:09:46 PM): Haha, I bet that's exactly what would have happened.
ksyrium5 (11:10:40 PM): would've been amazing no doubt
green ize on u (11:10:57 PM): Probably so. In some ways anyway.
ksyrium5 (11:11:09 PM): well i'm going to maybe talk to my parents then go for a ride.
green ize on u (11:11:18 PM): Right now?
ksyrium5 (11:11:24 PM): yup yup
green ize on u (11:11:44 PM): Wow, its definitely 11:11
green ize on u (11:11:49 PM): Oh! Make a wish!
ksyrium5 (11:11:58 PM): hhmmm.....
ksyrium5 (11:12:01 PM): ok i go it
ksyrium5 (11:12:05 PM): *got
green ize on u (11:12:12 PM): Good. =)
ksyrium5 (11:12:15 PM): hey do you wanna know what it was?
green ize on u (11:12:20 PM): Kinda...
ksyrium5 (11:12:26 PM): sorry you can't...
green ize on u (11:12:30 PM): I know...
ksyrium5 (11:12:38 PM): but if it comes true then you'll know
green ize on u (11:12:56 PM): Oh good! You'll tell me if it does?
ksyrium5 (11:13:14 PM): promise
green ize on u (11:13:23 PM): =)
green ize on u (11:13:52 PM): Have a good talk with your parents.
green ize on u (11:14:05 PM): Be as honest as possible. Can't go wrong!
ksyrium5 (11:14:15 PM): true dat...
ksyrium5 (11:14:31 PM): hey, btw, why didn't you tell me good night last night?
green ize on u (11:14:46 PM):
green ize on u (11:15:09 PM): I thought I had been bugging you...
ksyrium5 (11:15:13 PM): i was kinda hurt. i didn't sleep the whole night. broke out in a cold sweat, got this massive rash.
ksyrium5 (11:15:19 PM): just cause i didn't hear back from you
green ize on u (11:15:25 PM): Oh no!
ksyrium5 (11:15:49 PM): yeah it was a little painful for sure
green ize on u (11:16:31 PM): Sorry... I just thought... well, I had called you earlier, and IM'd you and stuff... I didn't want to bug you by just constantly trying to get ahold of you...
green ize on u (11:17:55 PM): I dunno, I didn't realize you wanted a response. I was under the impression you were annoyed with me after the whole picture thing.
ksyrium5 (11:18:22 PM): i told you... i never am able to be bothered by you. i'm telling you the truth. if i thought there would ever be a time where i would have the slightest feeling of being bothered by you, i wouldn't say that
green ize on u (11:19:04 PM): Really?
green ize on u (11:19:31 PM):
ksyrium5 (11:19:50 PM): really really
green ize on u (11:20:37 PM): Did you get my IM yesterday?
green ize on u (11:20:41 PM): Perhaps?
ksyrium5 (11:21:04 PM): um
ksyrium5 (11:21:12 PM): this is the first time i've been on in the past few days
ksyrium5 (11:21:18 PM): what did it say?
green ize on u (11:21:22 PM): Oh really?
green ize on u (11:21:34 PM): Well you were idle.
green ize on u (11:21:54 PM): You weren't there but I was hoping you would get it when you came back from work.
ksyrium5 (11:22:01 PM): my parents use my comp sometimes. it signs on to aim automatically when you turn it on
green ize on u (11:22:07 PM): Oh...
green ize on u (11:22:12 PM): Oh dear...
ksyrium5 (11:22:12 PM): old people dont know what AIM is, so they prob didn't do anything
green ize on u (11:22:41 PM): I hope they didn't read it...
green ize on u (11:22:51 PM): I mean, I guess it doesn't matter all that much...
ksyrium5 (11:23:44 PM): ha it really doesn't matter
ksyrium5 (11:23:48 PM): what did it say?
green ize on u (11:24:39 PM): It just said that I love you, and that I think you're amazing and have so much potential and goodness in you.
green ize on u (11:24:49 PM): But in more sentences I think.
ksyrium5 (11:25:26 PM): ...
ksyrium5 (11:25:41 PM): why do you have to be so amazing
green ize on u (11:26:02 PM): I'm really not.
green ize on u (11:27:02 PM): I just like you.
ksyrium5 (11:27:07 PM): i'm still gonna think so.
ksyrium5 (11:27:15 PM): ok now that you said that, nevermind lol
green ize on u (11:27:40 PM): What? lol
ksyrium5 (11:28:00 PM): haha i'm kidding. i just meant that i'm not that great
green ize on u (11:28:16 PM): -smacks you upside the head and pushes you down the stairs-
green ize on u (11:28:22 PM): FALSE!
ksyrium5 (11:29:43 PM): ahahaha
ksyrium5 (11:29:50 PM): it doesn't get much lower than that
green ize on u (11:30:15 PM): =)
ksyrium5 (11:30:18 PM): i've just been smacked and now i'm laying at the bottom of the stairs in the fetal position
green ize on u (11:30:52 PM): And then I help you up and gently remind you that you are amazing and thats why I hang around you.
green ize on u (11:31:43 PM): Then I warn you if you ever insult yourslef in my pressence again the punishment will be far worse.
green ize on u (11:31:55 PM): The seal is really happy about that too.
ksyrium5 (11:32:08 PM): haha i noticed
ksyrium5 (11:32:26 PM): 'so i'm gonna push you down the stairs and then punish you harder next time'
ksyrium5 (11:32:31 PM): 'YEP!'
green ize on u (11:32:45 PM): Pretty much/
ksyrium5 (11:33:14 PM): well i'm going to go talk so i dont have to go for a ride at 5am
green ize on u (11:33:24 PM): Good, I was just going to tell you to.
ksyrium5 (11:33:29 PM): thanks for dealing with my massive baggage
green ize on u (11:33:50 PM): Psh... don't even worry about it.
ksyrium5 (11:33:54 PM): including my flabby saddle bags
green ize on u (11:34:01 PM): ...?
green ize on u (11:34:08 PM): lol
ksyrium5 (11:34:39 PM): ha i need to stop..
ksyrium5 (11:34:47 PM): sleep well megan
green ize on u (11:35:01 PM): You too Steven. =)
green ize on u (11:35:29 PM): It's been lovely talking to you.
ksyrium5 (11:36:37 PM): same to you babe
ksyrium5 (11:36:39 PM): good night
green ize on u (11:37:12 PM): Nighty night love.
ksyrium5 signed off at 11:37:34 PM.
ksyrium5 is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
So I advised him on how to talk to his parents.
He lives with his parents and chooses to own two cars which he can barely make the payments on rather than move out. He wasn't getting along very well with them due to all the above mentioned reasons. He tried to convince them to give him some money a few days before this, and it ended with them not speaking...
After talking with me and taking my advice he tried to reason with them again, using my tactics. By the end of their conversation, not only were they speaking again, his parents started giving him extra money on a regular basis.
Do you see they dynamic? Do you see how we were with each other?
There is a reason why I'm posting this, of course. I want to lay out how everything began so I can get across just how fucked up the rest of it was. It simply doesn't make sense.
I am greenizeonu. Steven is ksyrium5.
Just to clarify, the pictures we are talking about were all the pictures of me and Elvis that I had on my myspace and facebook. He asked me to take them down because they upset him, so I did. I thought it was a bit much, but I wanted to make him happy. (In case you don't remember I was with Elvis for four years and broke up with him about a year ago.)
ksyrium5 (9:58:24 PM): hey you
green ize on u (9:58:38 PM): Hey!
green ize on u (9:58:52 PM): How are you?
ksyrium5 (9:59:07 PM): aite. had a damn long day at school
ksyrium5 (9:59:13 PM): from 8am, and i just got back home
ksyrium5 (9:59:15 PM): strong
green ize on u (9:59:18 PM): Holy shit.
ksyrium5 (9:59:27 PM): no joke
green ize on u (9:59:28 PM): Sorry dude.
green ize on u (9:59:41 PM): I did homework all day...
green ize on u (9:59:45 PM): Poo...
green ize on u (10:00:07 PM): But at least I got stuff done.
green ize on u (10:00:17 PM): How was class
green ize on u (10:00:18 PM): ?
ksyrium5 (10:01:09 PM): twas good times
ksyrium5 (10:01:19 PM): i've got the highest grade in my econ class so far
ksyrium5 (10:01:25 PM): even tho we've had 3 assignments haha
ksyrium5 (10:01:32 PM): still an ego booster for sure
green ize on u (10:01:43 PM): Wow! That's great!
green ize on u (10:02:11 PM): Seriously awesome.
ksyrium5 (10:02:31 PM): yea it was sweet
ksyrium5 (10:02:38 PM): how was your day. we didn't talk too much
green ize on u (10:03:06 PM): Yeah, I was kinda wondering about that!
green ize on u (10:03:29 PM): (I'm playing with my little cloud faces. Tee hee)
green ize on u (10:04:18 PM): My day was fine. I don't know if I told you, but you know how I didn't feel well yesterday morning?
ksyrium5 (10:04:26 PM): haha i love em
ksyrium5 (10:04:29 PM): yeah
green ize on u (10:04:41 PM): Well, it didn't get any better for the rest of the day, so I only ended up going to one class.
green ize on u (10:04:59 PM): And found out that I got a 60 out of 100 on a test.
green ize on u (10:05:07 PM): -headdesk-
ksyrium5 (10:05:13 PM): are you serious?
ksyrium5 (10:05:16 PM): wall
ksyrium5 (10:05:17 PM): head desk
ksyrium5 (10:05:22 PM): you gotta mix it up
green ize on u (10:05:32 PM): Exactly.
green ize on u (10:05:39 PM): So... uh...
green ize on u (10:05:47 PM): I have some studying to do too... =\
ksyrium5 (10:06:22 PM): all good. text me whenever the
ksyrium5 (10:06:24 PM): n
green ize on u (10:06:38 PM): No, I mean, that I'm not doing particularly well.
green ize on u (10:06:43 PM): I'm not going!
green ize on u (10:06:53 PM): I freaking want to talk to you!
ksyrium5 (10:07:01 PM): haha i like this news
green ize on u (10:07:53 PM): Is it news? I'm pretty sure I make that clear regularly.
green ize on u (10:07:55 PM): lol
ksyrium5 (10:08:00 PM): didn't mean to sound douchey last night btw...
ksyrium5 (10:08:05 PM): lol you def do
green ize on u (10:08:20 PM): You didn't.
green ize on u (10:08:32 PM): Check my facebook though...
green ize on u (10:08:36 PM): They're all gone.
green ize on u (10:09:00 PM): Took me a freaking hour or something.
ksyrium5 (10:09:02 PM): i trust you
ksyrium5 (10:09:50 PM): you just gotta see it from where i am... i was gonna comment on your page then i see that guy... and knowing that you've said the same things to him that you have to me didn't make me feel amazing
green ize on u (10:10:43 PM): I understand, don't worry about it, okay?
green ize on u (10:11:18 PM): I wouldn't have taken them down if I thought you were being ridiculous
green ize on u (10:12:06 PM): And honestly, you should not think about it that way.
ksyrium5 (10:12:50 PM): what do you mean?
ksyrium5 (10:12:54 PM): how am i thinking about it
green ize on u (10:13:09 PM): "I said the same things to him that I say to you."
green ize on u (10:13:13 PM): Not true.
green ize on u (10:14:29 PM): Just isn't.
ksyrium5 (10:15:21 PM): you were with him for 5 years, so i dont blame you
green ize on u (10:15:26 PM): four.
ksyrium5 (10:15:36 PM): dont worry about it.
green ize on u (10:15:41 PM): but it was shitty for most of it, you forget.
green ize on u (10:17:24 PM): You make me feel good about myself.
green ize on u (10:17:34 PM): He made me nearly suicidal. Not comparable.
ksyrium5 (10:17:37 PM): forget it. we all have our exes. you dont wanna hear about mine in any way.
ksyrium5 (10:17:48 PM): i'd prefer to hear the same
green ize on u (10:18:27 PM): Okay.
green ize on u (10:19:05 PM): Sorry I upset you.
ksyrium5 (10:19:40 PM): you didnt. i promise. i'm just talking to you.
green ize on u (10:20:24 PM): Okay, if you say so.
ksyrium5 (10:20:29 PM): i shouldn't have done it, but i got this sense of morbid curiosity when i was going to comment on your page
ksyrium5 (10:20:50 PM): and i looked at what you had posted on each others comments back in the day
green ize on u (10:21:08 PM): On myspace?
ksyrium5 (10:21:11 PM): bad idea... especially the way things have been going lately
ksyrium5 (10:21:12 PM): yeah
green ize on u (10:21:55 PM): Steven... why did you do that?
ksyrium5 (10:22:21 PM): i knew nothing good was going to come out of it, but it was just the morbid curiosity.
ksyrium5 (10:22:40 PM): like watching a train wreck. same kind of antic
green ize on u (10:24:46 PM): Why on Earth? I mean, obviously it has no relavance to what is going on now.
green ize on u (10:24:51 PM): Why would you do that?
ksyrium5 (10:24:53 PM): one thing lead to another after getting hung up about the pics. trust me i dont do this kind of self destructive shit on a regular basis
ksyrium5 (10:26:09 PM): that's why
green ize on u (10:27:10 PM): Steven... I don't ask you about your past.
green ize on u (10:27:13 PM): Everyone has a past.
green ize on u (10:27:22 PM): If I could change it, I could.
green ize on u (10:27:27 PM): *would.
ksyrium5 (10:27:41 PM): i didn't ask you about your past, it was just out there in plain view
ksyrium5 (10:27:47 PM): what kind of person wouldn't look at it
green ize on u (10:28:28 PM): Okay, well I took the pictures down immediately after you asked me to.
ksyrium5 (10:29:12 PM): and i thank you for that. it seriously means a lot
ksyrium5 (10:30:24 PM): i dont want to have down times like this anymore...
green ize on u (10:30:56 PM): Down times in what sense?
ksyrium5 (10:31:21 PM): feeling down. as in shit. and it's affecting you
ksyrium5 (10:31:36 PM): you're too much fun when you're happy. fuck this drama...
green ize on u (10:32:49 PM): Listen, I'm able to deal with down times.
green ize on u (10:32:59 PM): Believe it or not.
green ize on u (10:33:58 PM): But know that I'm here for you, and I'm not your enemy when you're feeling bad. I'm not out to hurt you.
ksyrium5 (10:34:17 PM): I never thought that you were. I'm serious
ksyrium5 (10:34:57 PM): trust me i know when girls are bringing me down lol
green ize on u (10:35:43 PM): =)
ksyrium5 (10:36:27 PM): so are we still on for thursday, muffin
ksyrium5 (10:36:37 PM): buns
green ize on u (10:36:41 PM): I would love that.
green ize on u (10:36:47 PM): As long as you don't mind.
ksyrium5 (10:37:01 PM): hopefully things are better in the house by then
green ize on u (10:37:15 PM): Is it okay if I come over?
ksyrium5 (10:37:18 PM): so if they are, then you'll be here for sure
green ize on u (10:38:10 PM): Is everything okay?
ksyrium5 (10:38:35 PM): i'll just say things have definitely been better...
ksyrium5 (10:38:48 PM): haven't talked to my parents since sunday
green ize on u (10:38:52 PM): Why is that?
green ize on u (10:39:19 PM): I mean, at all?
ksyrium5 (10:39:24 PM): they really didnt give a fuck about what i had to tell them about the other night
ksyrium5 (10:39:30 PM): not at all
green ize on u (10:39:45 PM): Are you kidding?
green ize on u (10:40:02 PM): They just didn't understand at all?
ksyrium5 (10:40:05 PM): still aren't giving me any money for the week.
ksyrium5 (10:40:19 PM): didn't seem to care that i'm still looking for jobs
ksyrium5 (10:40:21 PM): w/e
green ize on u (10:40:28 PM): What the fuck?
green ize on u (10:40:39 PM): That's really strange.
ksyrium5 (10:40:52 PM): they think being hardasses is going to teach me lessons on how to deal with adult life
green ize on u (10:41:30 PM): Did you express the magnitude of the situation to them?
ksyrium5 (10:42:09 PM): yeah
ksyrium5 (10:42:26 PM): i might go talk to them agian tonight. but i dunno
green ize on u (10:42:36 PM): You should.
green ize on u (10:42:50 PM): Say, "listen, I wouldn't ask you for help unless I really needed it."
ksyrium5 (10:42:54 PM): they just piss me off whenever i talk to them cause they always make it seem like they do everything for me and i give nothing back
green ize on u (10:44:17 PM): Say, "just listen to me for a bit. Let me say what I have to say all the way through."
green ize on u (10:44:26 PM): Start off by saying how much you appreciate what they do.
green ize on u (10:44:29 PM): List examples.
ksyrium5 (10:44:33 PM): sure i dont do chores around the house, etc. but maybe it would be a little easier if i wasn't trying to train, do homework, go to class, go to work and maintain somewhat of a relationship with my friends and girlfriend
green ize on u (10:44:57 PM): Maybe you can do little things.
ksyrium5 (10:45:02 PM): the latter of which i'm not doing a stellar job..
green ize on u (10:45:03 PM): Like take out the trash.
green ize on u (10:45:15 PM): You're doing fine.
green ize on u (10:45:25 PM): Just offer to do things in return.
ksyrium5 (10:45:33 PM): i really dont want to drag you into any of this though
green ize on u (10:45:33 PM): Say exactly that though.
green ize on u (10:45:37 PM): Make a compromise.
ksyrium5 (10:45:40 PM): you have enough to deal with.
green ize on u (10:45:46 PM): Psh... shut up already.
green ize on u (10:46:17 PM): You obviously need someone to talk to.
ksyrium5 (10:46:19 PM): i love when you order me around. mmm...
green ize on u (10:46:29 PM): Tee hee. =)
green ize on u (10:46:55 PM): Seriously though...
ksyrium5 (10:46:59 PM): i have people to talk to. it's just that i'm never one to talk to anyone about personal issues likethis
ksyrium5 (10:47:12 PM): regardless of how good of friends i hvae to talk to
green ize on u (10:47:18 PM): Well, that's why you tend to explode.
ksyrium5 (10:47:24 PM): i'm not down for complaining to people
green ize on u (10:47:32 PM): Believe me, I know how that feels.
green ize on u (10:47:35 PM): It's really okay.
ksyrium5 (10:48:15 PM): but like i said the other night. you can tell me what you want, but i seriously doubt this is a good impression on you
green ize on u (10:48:39 PM): Listen, I'm flattered when you talk to me.
ksyrium5 (10:48:44 PM): us being together for a month, and me thinking i can drop all this all on you
green ize on u (10:48:51 PM): You're not "dropping things on me"
green ize on u (10:49:24 PM): I far prefer this to a superficial relationship in which I have no idea what is really going on with you and we just pretend we're happy all the time.
green ize on u (10:49:32 PM): The idea of that kinda makes me want to vomit.
ksyrium5 (10:50:03 PM): yeah... i know
ksyrium5 (10:50:10 PM): we only are allowed to make amber vomit
green ize on u (10:50:18 PM): Exactly!
green ize on u (10:51:02 PM): Uh... believe it or not... I love you. In my personal opinion, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, that entails actually giving a shit about the person.
green ize on u (10:51:21 PM): So... like I said...
ksyrium5 (10:51:48 PM): i love you and everything thing you do for me.
green ize on u (10:51:48 PM): You should emphasize what you appreciate about your parent.
green ize on u (10:52:19 PM): I love YOU and everything YOU do for me.
ksyrium5 (10:52:56 PM): ha i dont do too much
green ize on u (10:53:03 PM): You do more than you know.
ksyrium5 (10:53:15 PM): i just make sure you don't have too much food money to roll over with for the next semester
green ize on u (10:53:21 PM): Psh... IO
green ize on u (10:53:30 PM): I'm right on target with my meal plan actually.
ksyrium5 (10:53:41 PM): glad i could help
green ize on u (10:53:45 PM): I'm on meal plan C anyway, it doesn't roll over.
green ize on u (10:53:59 PM): You actually are helping, lol
green ize on u (10:54:25 PM): No, but seriously.
ksyrium5 (10:54:35 PM): your seal just made a serious face
ksyrium5 (10:54:42 PM): one to be reckoned with
green ize on u (10:54:50 PM): He can be seirous sometimes too.
green ize on u (10:55:03 PM): He's one serious motherfucker.
ksyrium5 (10:55:19 PM): as he should be, there's seal business that needs to be tended to
ksyrium5 (10:55:24 PM): can't be fuckin around
green ize on u (10:55:36 PM): Precisely.
green ize on u (10:55:47 PM): Anyway, final word. Talk to your parents.
ksyrium5 (10:55:48 PM): but yeah, i'll talk to my parents
green ize on u (10:55:54 PM): Oh good. =)
green ize on u (10:56:01 PM): Just be willing to compromise.
ksyrium5 (10:56:03 PM): i dont like coming home anymore
green ize on u (10:56:09 PM): Tell them that.
green ize on u (10:56:17 PM): Tell them just how much it's affecting you.
green ize on u (10:56:21 PM): They will care.
green ize on u (10:56:29 PM): They can't avoid caring.
green ize on u (10:56:35 PM): Because you're not bullshitting.
green ize on u (10:56:41 PM): You're really bothered by this.
green ize on u (10:56:58 PM): They can't ignore that, they love you too much.
ksyrium5 (10:57:12 PM): we'll se
ksyrium5 (10:57:13 PM): e
ksyrium5 (10:58:41 PM): how are you feeling though? better than you were the day i was with you
green ize on u (10:59:07 PM): Much better, thank you. =)
green ize on u (10:59:23 PM): You know, I just had a thought.
ksyrium5 (10:59:45 PM): whats that
green ize on u (11:00:00 PM): The way my parents are... they only punish me when they think I don't give a shit.
green ize on u (11:00:21 PM): When they think I'm taking advantage of them.
ksyrium5 (11:01:00 PM): i dont see how they can think i'm taking advantage of them
green ize on u (11:01:07 PM): Maybe they just miss you.
green ize on u (11:02:06 PM): You don't like coming home. They probably notice the distance between you and it bothers them so it comes off as ange rand disinterest.
green ize on u (11:02:12 PM): *anger
ksyrium5 (11:02:34 PM): it's a cycle that needs to stop...
ksyrium5 (11:02:49 PM): i can't focus on the things i need to focus on'
green ize on u (11:02:55 PM): Exactly.
green ize on u (11:03:25 PM): Tell them that distance bothers you to, and that it's making it hard for you to do the things you need to.
ksyrium5 (11:03:42 PM): so i was thinking about it, that statement i said about us being part of a disposable society was pretty damn good
ksyrium5 (11:03:48 PM): i kinda amazed myself
green ize on u (11:03:53 PM): That was freaking amazing.
green ize on u (11:04:01 PM): It really made me think.
ksyrium5 (11:06:14 PM): it's true though. nothing today is really valuable enough to maintain. its all replaceable. even people
green ize on u (11:06:30 PM): Disgusting really.
green ize on u (11:06:51 PM): Everything moves in cycles too, people go through phazes and nothing mantains it's importance.
green ize on u (11:07:10 PM): There is a lack of sentimentality and human connection.
ksyrium5 (11:07:39 PM): the attention span pretty much no longer exists
ksyrium5 (11:08:01 PM): one more reason why i should have grown up in miami in the 80s
green ize on u (11:08:19 PM): Haha, I'm glad you didn't thougn.
green ize on u (11:08:21 PM): *though
ksyrium5 (11:08:42 PM): na you woulda been there with me.
green ize on u (11:09:01 PM): Or you would be here now and you'd be quite the pedophile.
ksyrium5 (11:09:09 PM): i would have seen you at the gym in a jazzercise class
ksyrium5 (11:09:29 PM): digging on your neon spandex and sweat bands
ksyrium5 (11:09:35 PM): so hot
green ize on u (11:09:46 PM): Haha, I bet that's exactly what would have happened.
ksyrium5 (11:10:40 PM): would've been amazing no doubt
green ize on u (11:10:57 PM): Probably so. In some ways anyway.
ksyrium5 (11:11:09 PM): well i'm going to maybe talk to my parents then go for a ride.
green ize on u (11:11:18 PM): Right now?
ksyrium5 (11:11:24 PM): yup yup
green ize on u (11:11:44 PM): Wow, its definitely 11:11
green ize on u (11:11:49 PM): Oh! Make a wish!
ksyrium5 (11:11:58 PM): hhmmm.....
ksyrium5 (11:12:01 PM): ok i go it
ksyrium5 (11:12:05 PM): *got
green ize on u (11:12:12 PM): Good. =)
ksyrium5 (11:12:15 PM): hey do you wanna know what it was?
green ize on u (11:12:20 PM): Kinda...
ksyrium5 (11:12:26 PM): sorry you can't...
green ize on u (11:12:30 PM): I know...
ksyrium5 (11:12:38 PM): but if it comes true then you'll know
green ize on u (11:12:56 PM): Oh good! You'll tell me if it does?
ksyrium5 (11:13:14 PM): promise
green ize on u (11:13:23 PM): =)
green ize on u (11:13:52 PM): Have a good talk with your parents.
green ize on u (11:14:05 PM): Be as honest as possible. Can't go wrong!
ksyrium5 (11:14:15 PM): true dat...
ksyrium5 (11:14:31 PM): hey, btw, why didn't you tell me good night last night?
green ize on u (11:14:46 PM):
green ize on u (11:15:09 PM): I thought I had been bugging you...
ksyrium5 (11:15:13 PM): i was kinda hurt. i didn't sleep the whole night. broke out in a cold sweat, got this massive rash.
ksyrium5 (11:15:19 PM): just cause i didn't hear back from you
green ize on u (11:15:25 PM): Oh no!
ksyrium5 (11:15:49 PM): yeah it was a little painful for sure
green ize on u (11:16:31 PM): Sorry... I just thought... well, I had called you earlier, and IM'd you and stuff... I didn't want to bug you by just constantly trying to get ahold of you...
green ize on u (11:17:55 PM): I dunno, I didn't realize you wanted a response. I was under the impression you were annoyed with me after the whole picture thing.
ksyrium5 (11:18:22 PM): i told you... i never am able to be bothered by you. i'm telling you the truth. if i thought there would ever be a time where i would have the slightest feeling of being bothered by you, i wouldn't say that
green ize on u (11:19:04 PM): Really?
green ize on u (11:19:31 PM):
ksyrium5 (11:19:50 PM): really really
green ize on u (11:20:37 PM): Did you get my IM yesterday?
green ize on u (11:20:41 PM): Perhaps?
ksyrium5 (11:21:04 PM): um
ksyrium5 (11:21:12 PM): this is the first time i've been on in the past few days
ksyrium5 (11:21:18 PM): what did it say?
green ize on u (11:21:22 PM): Oh really?
green ize on u (11:21:34 PM): Well you were idle.
green ize on u (11:21:54 PM): You weren't there but I was hoping you would get it when you came back from work.
ksyrium5 (11:22:01 PM): my parents use my comp sometimes. it signs on to aim automatically when you turn it on
green ize on u (11:22:07 PM): Oh...
green ize on u (11:22:12 PM): Oh dear...
ksyrium5 (11:22:12 PM): old people dont know what AIM is, so they prob didn't do anything
green ize on u (11:22:41 PM): I hope they didn't read it...
green ize on u (11:22:51 PM): I mean, I guess it doesn't matter all that much...
ksyrium5 (11:23:44 PM): ha it really doesn't matter
ksyrium5 (11:23:48 PM): what did it say?
green ize on u (11:24:39 PM): It just said that I love you, and that I think you're amazing and have so much potential and goodness in you.
green ize on u (11:24:49 PM): But in more sentences I think.
ksyrium5 (11:25:26 PM): ...
ksyrium5 (11:25:41 PM): why do you have to be so amazing
green ize on u (11:26:02 PM): I'm really not.
green ize on u (11:27:02 PM): I just like you.
ksyrium5 (11:27:07 PM): i'm still gonna think so.
ksyrium5 (11:27:15 PM): ok now that you said that, nevermind lol
green ize on u (11:27:40 PM): What? lol
ksyrium5 (11:28:00 PM): haha i'm kidding. i just meant that i'm not that great
green ize on u (11:28:16 PM): -smacks you upside the head and pushes you down the stairs-
green ize on u (11:28:22 PM): FALSE!
ksyrium5 (11:29:43 PM): ahahaha
ksyrium5 (11:29:50 PM): it doesn't get much lower than that
green ize on u (11:30:15 PM): =)
ksyrium5 (11:30:18 PM): i've just been smacked and now i'm laying at the bottom of the stairs in the fetal position
green ize on u (11:30:52 PM): And then I help you up and gently remind you that you are amazing and thats why I hang around you.
green ize on u (11:31:43 PM): Then I warn you if you ever insult yourslef in my pressence again the punishment will be far worse.
green ize on u (11:31:55 PM): The seal is really happy about that too.
ksyrium5 (11:32:08 PM): haha i noticed
ksyrium5 (11:32:26 PM): 'so i'm gonna push you down the stairs and then punish you harder next time'
ksyrium5 (11:32:31 PM): 'YEP!'
green ize on u (11:32:45 PM): Pretty much/
ksyrium5 (11:33:14 PM): well i'm going to go talk so i dont have to go for a ride at 5am
green ize on u (11:33:24 PM): Good, I was just going to tell you to.
ksyrium5 (11:33:29 PM): thanks for dealing with my massive baggage
green ize on u (11:33:50 PM): Psh... don't even worry about it.
ksyrium5 (11:33:54 PM): including my flabby saddle bags
green ize on u (11:34:01 PM): ...?
green ize on u (11:34:08 PM): lol
ksyrium5 (11:34:39 PM): ha i need to stop..
ksyrium5 (11:34:47 PM): sleep well megan
green ize on u (11:35:01 PM): You too Steven. =)
green ize on u (11:35:29 PM): It's been lovely talking to you.
ksyrium5 (11:36:37 PM): same to you babe
ksyrium5 (11:36:39 PM): good night
green ize on u (11:37:12 PM): Nighty night love.
ksyrium5 signed off at 11:37:34 PM.
ksyrium5 is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
So I advised him on how to talk to his parents.
He lives with his parents and chooses to own two cars which he can barely make the payments on rather than move out. He wasn't getting along very well with them due to all the above mentioned reasons. He tried to convince them to give him some money a few days before this, and it ended with them not speaking...
After talking with me and taking my advice he tried to reason with them again, using my tactics. By the end of their conversation, not only were they speaking again, his parents started giving him extra money on a regular basis.
Do you see they dynamic? Do you see how we were with each other?
There is a reason why I'm posting this, of course. I want to lay out how everything began so I can get across just how fucked up the rest of it was. It simply doesn't make sense.