2011. Yet I'm still here.

Mar 24, 2011 15:34

Born on 1991, I turned 20 this years. 20 years I've been living on this peaceful Malaysian land, yet the mystery surrounding the journey of finding my true self remains unravelled.

Lately however, I found out something about myself. It turned out that I actually don't like gay sex, not in the term of doing it, but in term of reading it. Not a surprise really, because the religion that I believe in stated that gay is wrong in every single way. Yet I enjoyed watching Junjou Romantica, Okane Ga Nai and Takumi-kun. So that basically puts me under the category of loli-shota fans. Maybe because I never believe that a tough, buff guy can fall in love with another tough, buff guy. Like in the case of a K-1 fighter fell in love with a sumo wrestler. Eww...

I still read fanfics sometimes. I used to search for smuts only - that shows how perverted my mind was - now I just looking for a good read. Good grammar, good storyline - something that I can't achieve through my own writing. All those butchered Engrish really gets me, I guess. But that does not stop me from writing more.

Talking about writing, as you can see in my journal, is just full of craps. Reading back those fics made me cringed. I wonder what got into me when I was writing those things. All of it reminded me for who I was; no_rulle is my alter ego, someone who I am not in the real world. But right from this moment, I want to be me. Nevertheless, I was not ashamed of my past, it just showed how much better I am today, and how much 'cleaner' my state of mind now.

So now I want to introduce myself again here. My name is Nurul, which means 'light' (the shining one, not the weight one) in Arabic. My taste in music is universal. I don't like smuts; subtlety is preferred. Fluff is loved. Quite conservative, yet open-minded. A bit complicated but simple. You would not understand these unless you know me in real life. Despite having a lifejournal account, I do not write my personal things in it basically because I do not feel the need too. Not really into messenger stuff, hence MSN/YM/etc is not in my list of friends contact. E-mail is okay however.

I guess that is the end of it.

Have a great year.

God bless you.

Bye.

rambling

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