I've waited a long time for this life, just to ruin it.
Carry on as normal. Carry. On. As. Normal. It's not actually as easy as I thought. In fact, it's fucking difficult. I got pushed right to the wire by nothing but myself. And that changes a lot, doesn't it? It changes how I see the world, how I relate to people, hell, how I relate to God. Or my family. My...fucking hell, my daughter. It does change a lot. It makes you appreciate it, but there's sure as hell a lot of things you can't take back. A lot of things you don't want to.
Like...like Cadence. Every-single-time I see her, it hurts. And yet, I can't resist it. I wouldn't want to resist it, I wouldn't want to throw it away, because now I appreciate it more. But if it weren't for all that... I wouldn't be in this situation, would I? She doesn't help matters either. I want...I want her, but I don't want to be that man. Not to my best mate. Never. And I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want to do that either. But somehow, when we're together...that goes out of the window.
I haven't got a clue how this works anymore. How my life works. And ugh, this rum is making me feel sick. Possibly not the best move on top of a hangover. Who'd think I was putting the alcohol down at this point. Ugh. Need a cigarette.
Student folk! Student folk! Hear ye, hear ye etc etc. I am looking for someone to assist me on a nice trip to the National Wizarding Library in London. I need to find me some books for some researchy bits I'm doing to distract me from the mundaneness that is teaching you lot. So if anyone wants to come give me a hand, throw yourself in my direction. It'll...look good? Can't offer you anything more than that.
Failing that. Do any of the staff folk want to be my servant for the day? I...pay well?*
*actually, I don't.*
**in fact, it's not just that I don't pay well, I don't pay at all.***
*** You can stop looking at me like that, I have children to feed****
****For your information, I keep them in a small menagarie between the Ancient Runes and Arithmancy offices.*****
*****For your own safety. Do not feed the children.