Oh God, Please NO!!!!

[nocturnali]

Okay, I'm sorry I have to do this but, because I read it, I feel I have to share. That's the kind of gal I am. ♥

Go here. It's not an LJ but the site is safe, no viruses (virii?).

Enjoy... *straps on body armour anticipating objects slightly heavier than Nerf Balls being thrown*

Comments

[jamie2109]

Oh, well if ever there was a case for keeping 12 year olds away from porn, I think this is it. I mean, really...

[nocturnali]

The saddest thing is that I think, judging by the site it's on, the author is over 18.
It is easily the most confusing thing I've ever read. And that includes H/D... ; )

[jamie2109]

Oi! H/D isn't confusing lol. ;p

But yes, that thing was. It was actually pretty bad.

[qtheallpowerful]

Over 18? srsly? Oh god, lord help the human race.

[andrea__88]

And here is a classic example of how not to write smut :o)
You should go through it and point out all the mistakes and post it for learning purposes
Get the red pen out ;o)

I can happily state that half asleep I an write better than that thanks to my wonderful teacher ;o)

[nocturnali]

I don't think I could beta that. I make it a point of understanding the things I beta...

Heh heh... *blush*
You do good.

[andrea__88]

Understanding things is overrated... ok no it's not ;o)

Well I was thrown into the deep end when we continued those drabbles
I owe all my smut to you so take a bow

[nocturnali]

Good point.
And look how far you've come.

[tm_nicholas]

What the fuck?! I couldn't even read the entire thing.

[nocturnali]

I made myself read it 'cause I read the beginning, then the end and thought I'd missed something huge in the middle. Sadly, I hadn't...

[qtheallpowerful]

OMGWTFHOAS??????!?!?!?

That is like...badfic^2 to the fifteenth power. I am so tempted to down this bottle of wine to get rid of the memory. *shudder*

[nocturnali]

Sorry.
The last thing I want to do is encourage drug and alcohol abuse.

*is sheepish*

But did it confuse you?

[qtheallpowerful]

Oh, be not sorry. It is my own fault. I should know better then to click links to a place called adulttoychest when I have wine on the table. Fear not though, i am sane, and shall not do the dumb and drink myself into a stooper.(How do you spell that word?) Even this small bottle in one sitting would be a one way ticket to the hospital for this little Q on her current drugz, and that is not something I fancy. ...As you can see I am already a bit loose, from just the half glass I had with my tasty lasagna dinner...which now that I think about it I did not actually write about...HI! ..Did I mention that half a glass of wine plus tired plus only one meal and a cup of coffee is a recipe for tipsy? Try it. It is a cool feeling, not drunk, but kind of a loose middle of the night randomness...um

[nocturnali]

Exactly, get past the absolute butchering of any language known to man and you have the plot (and I use the term loosely).

The whole money thing and the party thing. And what was with the ending? I was looking for more - whilst desperately hoping there wasn't any.

I like that almost tipsy feeling and I hope you don't suffer for it later. : D

Do you hate us or something?

[onehundredmoons]

Wait...

*is thinking*

Our protagonist has both a penis and a clit.

*thinks more*

And I like the nice detail that John is a HV/AC repair man. Only in badfic...

Re: Do you hate us or something?

[nocturnali]

I am worried for the sanity of the author. Is this based on rl? Or is it fantasy of hers (I assume Bambi is a she)? It would have to be pure fiction... wouldn't it?

Don't think too much and no, I don't hate any of you. I just felt a wild desire to share.