(no subject)
Is everyone still talking about the blasted Lantern Festival? It came and went. What's the big sodding deal?
I'll tell you what the big sodding deal is. The Lantern Festival was miserable, and it comes as no surprise, of course, seeing as it was hosted by Hogwarts. Does everything that this castle does have to turn out to be a complete disaster? Evidently. Does it have anything to do with the fact that it's a great lot of Muggle-lovers who couldn't organise their way out of a paper bag? Definitely. Have I taken to answering my own questions? Apparently. Merlin knows I'm not going to get answers from anyone else around here.
Of course, I shouldn't have expected anything more. A great congregation like this one can only lead to catastrophe. Who wants to spend their entire evening with Hufflepuffs, Gryffindors, Muggle-lovers and certain professors who would be best left in the kennel? Not me, that's who.
Evidently, 'Professor' Black decided to pick a row with My Father. I hardly think this sort of disorderly conduct should be allowed from a 'professor.' I'm sure My Father is going to want to see the Headmaster over this one, and if I'm not mistaken, Black will be out of this school soon enough. Honestly, this is certainly not the first fight Black has started this year. First he attacks Professor Snape, numerous times, and now he's trying to beat on innocent bystanders. I'm not sure what else can be expected from a former prisoner. After all, they do say that all those years in Azkaban make one batty.
Of course, I highly doubt it's Azkaban that made Black this way. He certainly does seem to be the rather clichéd tough-wizard, doesn't he? Let's take a look at his record. The 'leather' trousers. Oh, yeah, there's a winner right there. He may as well walk around in fishnet stockings and a g-string for all the originality he's winning with that wardrobe. And what sort of respectable professor wears 'leather' trousers? Or perhaps Black just thought that as soon as he'd decided he wasn't attracted to breasts that he ought to start wearing dead cows in revolt. After all, you know how large utters are. Please, can we get any more stereotypical? Leather went out of style aeons ago - as in, when demons walked the earth.
Then we have the flying motorbike. Oh, lord, talk about class! Certainly that sort of thing is fun and whimisical and all that rot, if you're about five years old. After that, it sort of loses its nonexistent charm.
Hmm. A wizard who wears leather trousers, rides a flying motorbike, and listens to what My Father tells me is 'hair metal.' Oh, no, he doesn't seem the violent type at all. He probably keeps a pair of brass knuckles in his bedside table, just to be sure it goes with the 'look' he's going for.
Then we have the issue everyone's pretending not to notice. The fact that Black frequently boasts publicly, around students no less, about being some sort of 'stallion'. I wonder who it is, exactly, that he thinks he's impressing. Please, he acts as though he's a first year. And, of course, we all know what it is that they say about overcompensation.
Yet, somehow, this hooligan of a professor (why was he hired again? Oh, wait, he's Potter's godfather. Convenient.) thought it wise to try to pick a row with My Father. Ha ha ha. Perhaps all that time in Azkaban went to his head. Perhaps he's forgotten that My Father is one of the most important wizards in our society.
Anyway. Aside from that little fiasco, the festival was equally boring and dull as anything else around here. I charmed myself to walk on water early on in the evening, but of course, the lake is so filthy the charm couldn't hold. They allow that disgusting Giant Squid to live in there. It's no wonder the water was too polluted! I could have DROWNED! But did anyone think of that? Oh, no, they were too busy thinking about their pathetic little lanterns catching fire.
It seems Pansy has returned to Hogwarts, and is offering some sort of truce with me. I suppose I'll have to think about it. The girl's probably still enamoured with me. And with good reason. Fortunately, I didn't see much of her at the festival, although she did manage to call me 'darling'. She's obviously having trouble getting with the now.
I did get some interesting mooncake notes. Of course, I don't eat mooncakes. I did have fun ripping the notes out of a few before the Drunken Professor Sinistra staggered over and chased me off. I managed to keep the notes, though, and they were quite the interesting read. Redheads say the darnedest things.
Then, to add insult to injury, after the festival, Sinistra practically turned into a banshee when she saw I was out on the grounds and took four points from Slytherin for 'lingering'. I am a Prefect. Prefects are allowed to be out after curfew! But Sinistra was a woman driven mad by drink, and she simply wouldn't listen to reason. Then again, she took six points from Gryffindor for lingering, so I suppose it isn't completely bad. Ha ha ha.
I noticed the Hufflepuffs filing down to the kitchens for detention this morning. Such a shame, really. I know if I had to serve someone else's detention, I certainly wouldn't do it. I'd revolt. But then, I'm not a Hufflepuff, now am I?
I'll tell you what the big sodding deal is. The Lantern Festival was miserable, and it comes as no surprise, of course, seeing as it was hosted by Hogwarts. Does everything that this castle does have to turn out to be a complete disaster? Evidently. Does it have anything to do with the fact that it's a great lot of Muggle-lovers who couldn't organise their way out of a paper bag? Definitely. Have I taken to answering my own questions? Apparently. Merlin knows I'm not going to get answers from anyone else around here.
Of course, I shouldn't have expected anything more. A great congregation like this one can only lead to catastrophe. Who wants to spend their entire evening with Hufflepuffs, Gryffindors, Muggle-lovers and certain professors who would be best left in the kennel? Not me, that's who.
Evidently, 'Professor' Black decided to pick a row with My Father. I hardly think this sort of disorderly conduct should be allowed from a 'professor.' I'm sure My Father is going to want to see the Headmaster over this one, and if I'm not mistaken, Black will be out of this school soon enough. Honestly, this is certainly not the first fight Black has started this year. First he attacks Professor Snape, numerous times, and now he's trying to beat on innocent bystanders. I'm not sure what else can be expected from a former prisoner. After all, they do say that all those years in Azkaban make one batty.
Of course, I highly doubt it's Azkaban that made Black this way. He certainly does seem to be the rather clichéd tough-wizard, doesn't he? Let's take a look at his record. The 'leather' trousers. Oh, yeah, there's a winner right there. He may as well walk around in fishnet stockings and a g-string for all the originality he's winning with that wardrobe. And what sort of respectable professor wears 'leather' trousers? Or perhaps Black just thought that as soon as he'd decided he wasn't attracted to breasts that he ought to start wearing dead cows in revolt. After all, you know how large utters are. Please, can we get any more stereotypical? Leather went out of style aeons ago - as in, when demons walked the earth.
Then we have the flying motorbike. Oh, lord, talk about class! Certainly that sort of thing is fun and whimisical and all that rot, if you're about five years old. After that, it sort of loses its nonexistent charm.
Hmm. A wizard who wears leather trousers, rides a flying motorbike, and listens to what My Father tells me is 'hair metal.' Oh, no, he doesn't seem the violent type at all. He probably keeps a pair of brass knuckles in his bedside table, just to be sure it goes with the 'look' he's going for.
Then we have the issue everyone's pretending not to notice. The fact that Black frequently boasts publicly, around students no less, about being some sort of 'stallion'. I wonder who it is, exactly, that he thinks he's impressing. Please, he acts as though he's a first year. And, of course, we all know what it is that they say about overcompensation.
Yet, somehow, this hooligan of a professor (why was he hired again? Oh, wait, he's Potter's godfather. Convenient.) thought it wise to try to pick a row with My Father. Ha ha ha. Perhaps all that time in Azkaban went to his head. Perhaps he's forgotten that My Father is one of the most important wizards in our society.
Anyway. Aside from that little fiasco, the festival was equally boring and dull as anything else around here. I charmed myself to walk on water early on in the evening, but of course, the lake is so filthy the charm couldn't hold. They allow that disgusting Giant Squid to live in there. It's no wonder the water was too polluted! I could have DROWNED! But did anyone think of that? Oh, no, they were too busy thinking about their pathetic little lanterns catching fire.
It seems Pansy has returned to Hogwarts, and is offering some sort of truce with me. I suppose I'll have to think about it. The girl's probably still enamoured with me. And with good reason. Fortunately, I didn't see much of her at the festival, although she did manage to call me 'darling'. She's obviously having trouble getting with the now.
I did get some interesting mooncake notes. Of course, I don't eat mooncakes. I did have fun ripping the notes out of a few before the Drunken Professor Sinistra staggered over and chased me off. I managed to keep the notes, though, and they were quite the interesting read. Redheads say the darnedest things.
Then, to add insult to injury, after the festival, Sinistra practically turned into a banshee when she saw I was out on the grounds and took four points from Slytherin for 'lingering'. I am a Prefect. Prefects are allowed to be out after curfew! But Sinistra was a woman driven mad by drink, and she simply wouldn't listen to reason. Then again, she took six points from Gryffindor for lingering, so I suppose it isn't completely bad. Ha ha ha.
I noticed the Hufflepuffs filing down to the kitchens for detention this morning. Such a shame, really. I know if I had to serve someone else's detention, I certainly wouldn't do it. I'd revolt. But then, I'm not a Hufflepuff, now am I?