What ever happened to Normal

[nodakgirl]

So many emotions for the last 2 weeks, sadness, guilt, regret, anger and just plain stress.  My mother passed away on Feb 11th.  It was totally unexpected.  But maybe when a parent dies no matter when or what has happened to precede it, that is a normal reaction.  My mother has never been particularly healthy.  She gets a cold and it hangs on

Comments

[nodakgirl]

Thank you, Rena!! It is nice to hear that. I get bogged down in my own..."I didn't do enough." You are right, I know you are, I just have to personalize it.

Thank you for the support. Thank you for the card and the gorgeous flowers. They are such a reminder of spring. I LOVE them.

((HUGS)))

[linda319]

Gail, all these feelings are so normal after the death of a parent. Luckily I haven't lost my mom, but she lost hers about three years ago, and she too had the "did I do enough"? feelings. At my Grandma's end, she ended up in the nursing home right across the street from my mom's house, and my mom felt guilty because she couldn't care for her in her home, but when they gave my Grandma the morphine for her pain, she would (miracuosly) be able to swing her legs over the guard rail and try to walk, only to fall on the floor. There was no way my mom could stop her from doing that so she had to be put in the home for round the clock care. Sometimes the best choices aren't the easiest ones and your mother knew how much you helped her. I guarantee it. Much love, sympathy and support to you and your family, with not so much to your sister. :-)

[nodakgirl]

Thank you, Linda for your support. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one feeling like that. I guess we always think that we're the only one with these thoughts and feelings. I hope that I did the best for her. I hope she knew she could depend on me. I was always there when she called. At least I hope I was. Thank you also for the card. It is treasured!!

[linda319]

You're welcome, Gail and I hope there are brighter days ahead for you. :-)

[oceanid_song]

I'm going to chime in and reiterate what Rena and Linda have already said.

All of those emotions you have had over the last two weeks are so very very normal for anyone grieving. And they could very likely to continue being mixed up for a while yet.

Normal too is the regret, and the thought that you mightn't have done enough. Even people who have the best of relationships with their parents have that feeling. It's entirely normal. So is the frustration we feel with our parents (I watched my mother go through that, I battle with it myself now) and feeling guilty for feeling that frustration.

You are human. Your mother was human. We are all human beings who are doing the best we can. You did the best you can, and I can guarantee your mother appreciated everything you have done for her, especially since she moved to ND.

I feel so inadequate living so far away ... I want to come over, talk, hug, have coffee, let you cry if you need...

(((((hugs))))

[nodakgirl]

Thank you!! It's good to hear those words. I have to start believing them.

I wish you lived closer. It would have been such a comfort having you near. Sigh!!

Thank you for all of your support.

[hobbit_71]

Again, I am so sorry and agree with Rena and Julia.

You have gone above and beyond the call of duty for a very long time and should not feel guilty.

I admire you for all of the patience and strength that you have shown over the past few years, and the excellent care that you have given.

[nodakgirl]

Thank you so much for the support and the kind words. They mean so very much to me. Thank you also for the card. It gives me a lot of comfort. I'm so glad that we're friends.

((((Hug))))

[nodakgirl]

Thank you soo much What a lovely thing to say. You make me feel so good. I hope that I do live up to your impressions. I'm so lucky to have a friend like you.

Hugs