(no subject)
What's the point. What is the point at all, you think I would have learned by now. I have no point in living this life anymore; fate proved itself again I'm not allowed to have anything good perminantly. And for that I should go around and apologize to any 'friends' I made here because truth is right now all I would like to do is lay down and sleep this entire..whatever, this experience, this dream, all of it, just away.
I have not felt this numb and depressed since I was thrown in jail.
Please something, just show me and tell me this is a dream, that I'm going to wake up and be back on that stupid aircraft going to Titan to die. better than than one by one counting the people who are going to 'leave' me again. What's going to happen, is Henry now going to come into my room and say something crazy about leaving the apartment because it's going to haunt him? And Sakon, who knows, he's capable of doing anything out of the blue.
I should have stayed away from everyone, and stepped back, and realized this was going to happen. Being in an enclosed community does this, it always will, I need to pack up and travel or something, but I can't get myself to move.
Now all I need is Leon to come back here and throw me in 'jail' for being an outlaw still. Then I can go on death row, or someone will kill me here, oh the possibilities are endless. Why does this keep happening?
Am I that pathetic? I'm going to just go about regularly tomorrow and forget about this. I have to. What else do I have to do?
This rain is starting to reflect moods. I like watchign it suddenly. By saying that, it might start. Damn, just when I start to enjoy it.
Oh well. The sun is going to rise again.