Jun 11, 2012 01:19
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Spoilers: Takes place at the end of Season 4 (Pre-Carol)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine. Everything belongs to Tina (as it should). Title is from a Vonda Shepard song featured on the Ally McBeal soundtrack.
Finally, any comments/feedback are always welcome.
Liz has never prided herself on her maturity. Or her ability to have unpleasant conversations. So she’s not surprised when she decides that she simply won’t tell George about her arrangement with Jack. Since George’s demanding job has him frequently traveling around the world, Liz figures she could probably get away with watching over Liddy without having to tell George for weeks. Maybe even months. It’s not the most honest tactic, but it’ll have to do. Because anything else would require her to explain her weird, messed-up relationship with her ex-boss and, for once in her life, she wants the guy she’s dating to think she is a normal, well-adjusted person. And, she knows that a day will come - probably soon- when Jack will fall in love and that new person will help Jack take care of his daughter. And, she really doesn’t want to be alone when that happens.
A few weeks later, she is in her living room when her phone rings and she sees Jack’s name on the caller ID. Since George is in the room with her, she excuses herself to the bedroom so she can have the conversation privately.
“Hey.” She says, trying her best to sound nonchalant.
“Good evening, Lemon. Am I interrupting anything?”
“What? No.” She scoffs. “I wasn’t doing anything shady.” Yeah, she really needs to learn how to be a better liar.
“I will let you resume whatever shady activities you were doing shortly.” He says briskly. “I called to talk about this Thursday.”
“Oh yeah, my calendar is free to take care of Liddy….”
“Actually, Liddy will not be accompanying me on this trip. Avery has had a change of heart and has decided that she wants to be able to see Liddy when she is in the States.”
“Really? How magnanimous of her.” She doesn’t even try to mask the sharpness in her voice. Even though she has only taken care of Liddy for several weeks, she has already fallen head over heels in love with her. “Sorry, that was a bitchy thing to say. I guess I’m kind of protective.”
“I’m not exactly Avery’s number one fan either, but she is her mother. I’m not going to deny her right to see her daughter.”
“I know, I know, you’re right.” She mumbles. “So I’ll cancel Thursday and I’ll see you the next time you come down with Liddy.”
“Actually, I still need you on Thursday.”
“Huh? But Liddy…”
“Hank is having his 60th birthday party. I would like for you to come with me. Hank likes you…”
“Yeah, right. He likes me so much that he cancelled my show?”
“If you will recall, he cancelled your show after you left. He still asks about you. Your presence will please him and, in turn, look favorably upon me. As someone who is in the running for the future CEO of the company, I have to be in the Hank pleasing business.”
“Yeah, when you describe it like that, Kabletown sounds like a cult.”
“At Kabletown we prefer the term, ‘Alternative Empowerment Organization.’” He quips, before repeating his question. “So you will come with me?”
“Jack, I don’t know…those kind of parties aren’t really my scene.”
“Nonsense. You’ve written an excellent screenplay, lecture at a prestigious school and the thickness and shine of your hair will look excellent beside mine in pictures.”
“I have a boyfriend.” She says. “You’ve met him.”
“Yes, well, lucky for him I’m asking you as a friend. He is secure enough in his masculinity for you to have male friends, correct?”
She sighs and closes her eyes before she begins to speak. “Yes. His masculinity is not facing any sort of threat.”
“Good, then I will see you on Thursday.” There is a long pause, and Jack knows Liz is taking time to decide. Since Jack practically invented the art of persuasion, he knows exactly what to say in order to tip the scales in his favor. “I’ve snuck a peak at the catering menu...there will be a gourmet Philly Cheesesteak stand.” He pauses and rasps, “Manned by Bobby Flay himself.”
Annoyed that he knows her so well, she reluctantly acquiesces. “Ugh, fine I’ll go to your stupid party. But just so you know, since I’m always afraid the fabric of my dress will dip into the toilet when I pee, I’ll be wearing a knee-length dress instead.”
“If you must.”
“And I’m gonna wear industrial strength spanx underneath and you’re not allowed to make fun of me.”
“My lips will be sealed.” He grins.
“And I want you to pick me up.”
“Don’t I always?”
“In a Prius.” She hears him cursing on the other line and her face breaks into a triumphant smile.
“You’re making me regret showing you the finer points of negotiation, Liz. But I agree to all your terms.”
“I killed that negotiation thing didn’t I?”
“You did indeed.” He says warmly. “So…I will pick you up at 8.”
“Looking forward to it, Jack.” She smiles when she hangs up and tries to be as neutral as possible when she joins George on the couch.
“Who was that?” He asks casually, draping his arm around her.
“Oh, just my agent.“
“What did she want?” He brushes the hair out of her eyes, and the tender gesture makes Liz feel like a horrible person.
“Just wanted to talk about...movie stuff.”
“That’s specific.” He seems amused, but Liz is desperate to change the subject before he asks any more questions.
“Eh, it’s boring. Nothing worth talking about.” She says quickly and shrugs while straddling his waist. “So…wanna have sex?” George looks up at her and is more than a little surprised by her directness.
“Yes…yes I do.”
“Awesome.” She bends down to kiss him and in the back of her mind, she starts to think of other non-sexual ways she can effectively change the conversation in the future. Because if she is going to continue spending time with Jack, she knows changing the subject is probably going to be a common occurrence.
----
When Liz hears a knock at her door at 7:59, she quickly runs her hands over the soft lacey material of her newly purchased cocktail dress. While trying on the dress in the store, she wasn’t sure she could pull it off. In fact, when she tentatively walked out of the dressing room to see what she looked like in the three-way mirror, she thought she looked ridiculous. The black lace over the nude silk slip hugged every single inch of her body and certainly didn’t help in deflecting attention from her butt. Once the woman assisting her in the store caught a glimpse of her in the dress, she declared that she refused to show Liz any other dresses, and as far as she was concerned, that was the winning “Kardashian booty” dress.
At the time, it sounded like a good idea. But now, seconds away from being the subject of Jack’s brutally honest scrutiny, she worries that she probably made the wrong choice. Liz quickly rushes to the door to let Jack in, and immediately after the door is open, Liz rushes back into her bedroom.
“Make yourself at home, Jack. I just have to change!” She calls from inside her closet. Liz’s sprint back into the bedroom only afforded Jack a brief second to look at her. When he saw her retreating backside, he is pretty sure he liked what he saw.
“May I see what you’re currently wearing?” He asks from the doorway of her bedroom.
“No. It’s too slutty, I need to change.”
“You don’t own a single piece of clothing that can be described as ‘slutty.’ ‘Homely’ and ‘mannish’ perhaps, but never ‘slutty.’” He smirks as he follows Liz into her closet. “Let me look at you.”
Liz turns around, and mentally prepares herself for his mockery, but instead she sees his eyes hungrily rake over her.
“You are not changing.” He murmurs huskily.
“But it’s…”
“Absolutely perfect.” Her shoulders relax and she lets out a small, relieved smile at Jack’s praise. In turn, he extends his hand, and she eagerly takes it and lets him usher her out of her bedroom.
When they get to the car parked outside, Liz giggles in surprise when she sees a silver Prius waiting for them.
“You listened to me!” She begins to rush excitedly to the car, but Jack’s hand on her elbow stop her.
“First, despite what you think, I always listen to you.” He says quietly. “Second, there is one important point that I kept from you regarding tonight.”
“Which is…?” He doesn’t respond, instead, he reaches into his breast pocket and fishes out a small jewelry box. Opening the box, Jack reveals what looks to be a very extravagant and expensive engagement ring.
“I may have told Hank that you are my fiancé.” He admits, and to his credit, actually appears a bit guilty at the bald-faced lie.
“What the what??”
“Liz, Hank is a family man. My brief marriage did not win me any brownie points and I knew of the affinity he has for you…”
“So you told him that we’re engaged? In what universe is that a normal thing to do??” She whacks him against his chest with her free hand and tries to extract her elbow from his grip. “And this pattern you have of pretending that we’re lovers every time you have to save your butt is weird.”
“One or two instances hardly constitute a pattern, Elizabeth.” He rests his hands on her shoulder and says pleadingly, “In the interest of full disclosure, I am not doing very well at work at the moment. In fact, I believe I am a slip-up away of getting demoted or even fired. This may very well save my career. Please, Liz? I’ll give you anything you want. Name it and it’s yours.”
She tilts her head to the side, taking a moment to think about his request and what she could possibly ask for in return. “I want you to help Pete find a job.”
“That’s it? You do realize you have me by the balls here.” He asks in shock, surprised that she doesn’t request something more flamboyant or expensive (and that she refrained from making a crack at his "balls" reference).
“Yep. Promise to get Pete a job and you’ll score a fake fiancé for the night.” Jack takes a step closer to her and gently holds her hand. Most women, when faced with an opportunity like this, would gladly take him to the cleaners and demand the world of him. But Liz Lemon only wants to help a friend. When he takes her hand and slowly slips the ring on her finger, he knows his face shows the unadulterated affection he has for her - the only woman who truly cared for him and not his wealth and social status.
He bends down to softly kiss her forehead, and hums quietly “Thank you, Liz.”
---
She’s a hit at the party, although, Jack never expected anything less. Their pseudo-engagement also gave Jack tacit approval to be more tactile with her than her usual. He never thought he’d relish the opportunity to be able to liberally touch and caress Liz Lemon, but he was certainly doing so throughout the night. And enjoying every moment of it immensely.
During a conversation with some of Jack’s business associates, Jack’s hand ventures from a neutral area on the small of her back to the curve of her hip. While launching into a business anecdote about synergy, his hand continues to trace circles along Liz’s body. The sensation causes Liz to blush, and she feels like she has to put a stop to Jack’s excessive PDA or else she’ll jump him right in the middle of the ballroom.
“Would you please excuse us, gentlemen? I need to borrow my boyfriend. He’s getting a little too frisky and I believe a cool down session is in order.”
The group of associates chuckle and as they leave, one of them claps Jack on the back and says, “She’s an absolute treasure, Donaghy! Good thing the third time’s a charm.”
Jack beams at the complement, and uses his hand on Liz’s hip to draw her closer to him. “You’re a treasure.” He whispers in her ear with delight.
“Yeah, well, this treasure is getting a little too much of the Donaghy rub down.” While she’s speaking, Jack grabs two more champagne glasses from a waiter that walked passed them and he smoothly hands her one of the glasses.
“I am hardly to blame for that,” he pauses to let out a breath and continues, “you should not have chosen to wear that dress. That is a dress that begs to be touched.”
The compliment catches Liz off-guard and she counters with, “Yeah, well, you’re a dress that’s begging to be touched!”
“That,” he grins, “doesn’t make a shred of sense.”
“I’m drunk.” She pouts defensively.
“And I’m happy. Let’s just enjoy the evening, okay?” With that, he takes her hand and leads her to the dance floor. Liz doesn’t put up much of a protest.
----
At the end of the evening, Jack has sobered up, but Liz is still very much inebriated. He carefully holds onto her harm while he walks her to the door of her apartment building, knowing that she is pretty liable to collapse onto the pavement without him there to prop her up.
“You were amazing in there, Lemon. You had those old farts eating out of the palm of your hand.”
“I wasn’t too drunk?” She asks, anxiously.
“You were a happy drunk. It was fairly adorable. Moreover, Hank’s wife found your drunkisms rather charming.”
“Ha, I totally hijacked that party!” She giggles, at her pun and Jack can’t help but smile at her silliness. “See what I did there? Because your name is Jack…”
“Yes, I got the subtlety, Liz.” He interrupts her redundant explanation of her bad joke and places his hand on top of hers. She looks down at their touching hands and frowns in confusion.
“We don’t have an audience, so we don’t have to be all PDA anymore…” She begins saying, but the glistening diamond on her finger catches her eye. “Oh, doy, you wanted the ring back.” She extracts her hand, removes the ring from her finger and gives it to Jack.
“Actually, I was going to ask if you were planning on inviting me up.” She looks even more confused, which causes Jack to ask, “You did have a good time, did you not?”
“I had a great time.” She says evenly, recognizing that the mood has changed and she’s not quite sure she’s able to handle the unsettling tension brewing between them.
“Then, at the end of a successful date you do realize it’s common practice for the woman to invite the man up for a nightcap.”
“But this was a fake date.”
He raises his eyebrows and walks up to her deliberately slowly, “Was it?” Using his index finger to lift up her chin, he says, “It doesn’t have to be anything sexual, Liz. Just one drink.”
“Can’t hurt…” She whispers, staring at the smoldering blue eyes that seemed to have cast some sort of spell on her.
“Lead the way, Lemon. “ He opens the lobby door and right as she brushes past him, he murmurs lowly in her ear, “Allow me to show you how very grateful I am for rescuing me this evening.”
jack/liz