Comments | noir_girl: Black Rose!

noir_girl

Black Rose!

Dec 05, 2006 21:50

I just got back from Black Rose a big BDSM event in the DC area. It's huge! I did not fully grasp it until I got there. I was rooming with three friends of mine and agreed to volunteer up a storm for the always wonderful fortryllBefore arriving, I corresponded with two people about potentially playing. One of them, Lady Angelica, gave a wonderful class ( Read more... )

black rose, meta

Comments 12

vinnie_tesla December 6 2006, 04:20:05 UTC

It's very hard. It always feels like these wounds should heal up faster.

I'm glad you managed to have fun in DC anyway. I've managed to come away from perfectly pleasant events feeling icky 'cause I hadn't gotten what I intended out of them, even though I'd gotten something good. I admire your flexibility.

noir_girl December 8 2006, 02:22:07 UTC

Well, I've been setting as my intention lately to not feel that sex, kinky or otherwise, is on the menu. This has really been helpful for me emotinoally, even if somewhat frustrating for my nether regions.

butchbottom December 6 2006, 11:19:53 UTC

cute little non-damaged bottom

I think we're all damaged in some way or another. Maybe some of us have buttons that are less visible or less intrusive for casual negotiation, but we all have them. Just recognize that and treat yourself with compassion when yours protrude.

I'm glad you had a good time, and I'm very much looking forward to reading about that tasty scene you witnessed. ;-)

fierceawakening December 6 2006, 15:39:34 UTC

I think we're all damaged in some way or another.

I think that's true. For one thing, SM is very intimate-feeling for a lot of people, even if we do it casually. If a friendship dies, it can really, even if that person wasn't someone you dated seriously.

And for another -- breakups hurt. They always do. Losing something that lasted a long time just *is* painful. That's the way of it.

Most of us in the scene have hurts we're carrying. I've been wondering lately the reverse of what you have. Am I a bad top because some things bring back bad memories? Am I a bad top because someone who's rather big in this town ended a friendship with me with hellacious fireworky drama?

I don't think the answer is yes, any more than the answer is that people shouldn't play with you because you're hurting.

fierceawakening December 6 2006, 15:40:24 UTC

"you" meaning noir_girl not butchbottom

noir_girl December 8 2006, 13:05:48 UTC

You're right that SM is intimate feelign for me, and I did lose a very close intimate relaitonship both in and out of scene. One thing I'm finding frustrating is that I keep on finding new damage. I was feeling excited over being able to have kinky fantasies and masturbate to them without panicking, and now I can't even flirt with soemone. ARGH.

It's interesting to think about how something similar can affect tops as well, thank you.

Thread 5

sewblue December 6 2006, 18:59:26 UTC

Oh there you are I was wondering about you.

The good thing is you're getting back in the mix, right? Playing with people takes so much time and trust...especially for those of us that are introverted. Some people may never be casual players. But I think the intimacy and the trust is what gets me off personally so I can understand why you'd want to pace yourself.

noir_girl December 8 2006, 13:01:33 UTC

Hi. Things have been a bit, well, difficult lately so I've been quiet but I want to get online more. Yup.

I agree that being back in the mix is a good thing. While I have played casually with people, intimacy and trust are definitely what makes play extra hot for me. I think one thing that botehrs me is taht I usually haven't had a problem trusting people on a casual level, and now I'm freaked out by everything. Argh. I know time, space, etc. will help I'm just not used to being this skittish emotionally.

hullo.... gurl1776 December 6 2006, 20:28:26 UTC

glad you're posting. glad you had a good time at Black Rose. very interested to hear about the classes and the sites & sounds. Thursday is NELA's Kalediscope. Perhaps you'll drop by and chat? 2 sister-subs that I've recently friended are coming, so it should make for interesting sharing. Auntie R. & T. will, of course, be there... (If not and you feel like an hour of chai or hot cocoa, please let me know.... noooo pressure.)

Re: hullo.... noir_girl December 8 2006, 02:30:59 UTC

Sadly I am suuuuuper sleepy and I'm about to crash out so I did not Kaleidoscope. Was it good? I would love to get some chai/coccoa though. That sounds some yummy.

Re: hullo.... gurl1776 December 19 2006, 19:02:59 UTC

Hey. I don't think I have your email... if you reply on my LJ, your comments will be screened. Short version: I've 2 invitations I want to invite ya for... and the eventual cup o' chai...