Fic: I Know
Title: I Know
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating/Warning: Maybe PG13 for a bit of language/ Spoilers for 2.11
Disclaimer: Wish I owned them but I don't and never will.
Summary: My post-Adrift fic. Jack's angry.
A/N: I wanted to write and revision is driving me mental. So I wrote, enjoy.
Awesome betaing by xaephyr. Any mistakes are all me.
On hearing the cog door opening, Ianto looked up from the autopsy table, Owen had wiped it down after its last use, but Ianto had felt it wasn't enough, and had set to work on it.
Ianto heard footsteps. "Jack? Is that you?"
Jack appeared at the railings atop the stairway.
"What the fuck, Ianto?" The other man's eyes were flashing, his entire posture hostile.
Ianto's eyes widened. "What?"
"Gwen was Flat Holm today."
Ianto nodded slightly in understanding.
"Aaah," he breathed out, pulling off the gloves that he wore.
"Yes, aaah. What were you thinking?"
Ianto moved over to the stairs and began to ascend. "Jack, I-"
"Dammit, Ianto!" Jack shouted, banging his fist on the metal rail. The younger man paused, taking a step backwards, he rarely saw Jack this angry. "I said not to tell anyone! I expressly told her to leave it alone and you totally ignored that - weren't you present for those conversations?"
Jack shook his head as his voice returning to its regular decibel, eyes casting a glance over the autopsy area below. "I thought I could trust you."
Without another word he pushed away from the rail, leaving Ianto standing in silence.
Ianto decided to leave Jack to cool off - exactly 15 minutes - while he finished cleaning the autopsy table. When that only took ten, he rearranged Owen's tools. Twice.
Eventually Ianto ventured across the Hub to the kitchen, where he slowly made two coffees. Dragging it out another couple of minutes, he finally ascended the stairs to Jack's office. He was hoping that he'd left enough time for Jack to calm down, but not so much that the man would've had time to think things through too much.
Ianto knocked on the door and pushed it open, not bothering to wait for the reply he knew would never come. Jack was sitting at his desk with a glass of malt in one hand, eyes focussed on the amber liquid settled at the bottom.
Carefully making his way to the desk, Ianto set a mug down.
"I brought some coffee," he informed the man softly, "You can add whiskey to it, if you want."
Jack raised his eyes to meet Ianto's.
"What, and ruin perfectly good whiskey? Not to mention," he added, allowing a small smile to grace his lips, "Perfect coffee."
Ianto could see that it didn't reach his eyes, but returned the smile softly.
"I'm sorry, Yan."
The younger man shook his head. "There's no need."
"Yes there is. I shouldn't have yelled at you - I shouldn't have lost it."
Ianto shrugged his shoulders a fraction. "Maybe, but I shouldn't have told Gwen. I should have listened to you and what you wanted and seen to it. No questions asked."
Jack shook his head.
"No." He reached out to Ianto, who still stood at the side of his desk, and pulled him onto his lap.
"Please, don't." Ianto looked down, brushing his fingers near Jack's eyes - so filled with sadness - before dropping his hand to Jack's shoulder as a signal to continue.
"I don't want you to just blindly follow orders. That's not who you are, and it's not how I want us to be - you did what you honestly believed to be right. You have the ability to think with your head and your heart at the same time, and you do this despite everything you've been through and everything that Torchwood's taken from you. You're not cynical like I am, and apart from Lisa, you never get caught up in the emotions of the situation easily like Gwen does.
"That's something that I admire about you… and something I need, sometimes. I just wish that you'd talked to me about it first, instead of going behind my back."
Regret flashed in Ianto's eyes.
"I'm sorry, I really am; but if I'd tried to talk to you about it, would you have listened? Or would you have told me that it wasn't up for discussion, like you did with Gwen? If I'd tried, would you have said, 'Leave it Ianto, just leave it'?" Remembrance of speaking similar words crossed Jack's features. He opened his mouth to speak, but Ianto shook his head.
"No, Jack, you're right. I shouldn't have gone behind your back, but I did what I thought was right."
Jack nodded, and moved his arms to circle Ianto's waist.
"I know you did, but in a situation like this, I don't think that there is a right and wrong." He pressed his forehead against Ianto's shoulder. "There's no rulebook, no answers, and no happy ending. There's nothing I can do for them, Ianto - nothing. The Rift has taken them and spit them out again, tearing their and their loved ones' lives apart, and I - I'm totally helpless."
Ianto traced his fingers across Jack's neck and the top of his spine.
"You're doing everything you can for them, and you know it. It's not your fault."
Jack looked up into Ianto's face. "What if Gwen's right? Maybe we should be doing something."
Ianto's shook his head, "You know that there's nothing we can do, and trust me - if you keep thinking like this, you're going to drive yourself mad."
"I do trust you," Jack whispered beneath him, "Implicitly."
Ianto leaned down to capture Jack's lips in a chaste kiss. As soon as it broke, they moved together for a more passionate one, Ianto shifting to straddle Jack as the kiss deepened. When they eventually pulled away for breath, Jack buried his face in the crook of Ianto's neck. He inhaled the scent of the younger man, arms still wrapped around his waist.
"I hate it there," he murmured into Ianto's chest.
Ianto ran his fingers through Jack's hair.
"I know," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Jack's head. "I know."
A/N What do you think? Comments keep me going through this awful time that is exam season. xxx