long time no see, how have you been?
Title: long time no see, how have you been?
Pairing(s)/focus: Bobby/Donghyuk, side!Jinhwan/Junhwe
Rating: PG-13
Word count: ~3,600
Warnings: None
A/N: 2016 New Year's fic!!（⌒▽⌒ゞ
Summary: In which Donghyuk is stuck in the past, Bobby has been gone for three years, and people always did say that the New Year was a time for second chances.
When Donghyuk rings the doorbell, he barely manages to toe off his black converses before the door is pulled open and he's greeted by Yunhyeong's grinning face.
"It's Kim Donghyuk!" Yunhyeong yells, and Donghyuk laughs a little as he allows himself to get tugged into the apartment, accepting the hug that Yunhyeong offers him. Yunhyeong pulls back and lightly grips both his arms, smile warm and familiar in a way that makes Donghyuk's heartbeat relax into a peaceful rhythm.
Even after all these years, Yunhyeong still always reminds Donghyuk of the feeling of coming home.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Yunhyeong says, dropping his hands in favour of looping a casual arm around Donghyuk's shoulders and leading him further into the apartment.
It has. The last time Donghyuk met up with their little gang was more than a year ago. "Yeah, it has," Donghyuk says as much.
Yunhyeong glances over at him briefly before squeezing his shoulder gently and god, Donghyuk never thought he'd miss being around his hyungs so much, but with Yunhyeong warm and pressed against his side and his arm a real weight around his shoulders, Donghyuk realises just how much he's missed them, how much he loves these people.
Yunhyeong looks like he wants to say more, but then they turn the corner to the living room and immediately, Donghyuk is greeted by a crowd of what appears to be complete strangers. There's music playing from what Donghyuk supposes is Yunhyeong's phone on the speaker dock, and all around the apartment, people are talking and laughing with drinks in their hands. Donghyuk smiles a little awkwardly when a stranger accidentally bumps into him before apologising, and he really begins to reconsider his decision of choosing to come to Yunhyeong's annual New Year's Eve party when someone comes up to them excitedly to tug Yunhyeong away.
There must be a slightly panicked expression on Donghyuk's face when Yunhyeong drops his arm from around his shoulders to step away, but then Yunhyeong's gaze flickers over Donghyuk's shoulder, and he laughs. "Don't worry," Yunhyeong says, eyes sparkling and grin a little wicked. The expression is so familiar that Donghyuk is almost instantly reminded of the times when they were all in high school, and Yunhyeong's face would always take on this cunning expression when he was about to pull a prank, usually with Chanwoo or if not -
Donghyuk's heart twists a little in longing, so he stops thinking.
"You know enough people here," Yunhyeong finishes, tipping his head in the direction behind Donghyuk. Yunhyeong's expression softens for the briefest of moments. "Have fun, okay? We missed you," he says finally, smile as warm as Donghyuk remembers it being ever since they were teenagers before turning and following after his friend.
Donghyuk weaves his way through the throng of people in search of anyone he might know, but he doesn't have to walk far: he reaches the sitting area and immediately recognises the four people sitting around the coffee table. He opens his mouth to make his presence known, but then Jinhwan looks up, and he doesn't have to say anything at all because the brightest of smiles spreads across Jinhwan's face as he gets to his feet and steps towards Donghyuk, stretching up on his tiptoes (the action makes Donghyuk's chest warm because even after all these years and time spent apart, some things really never change) to pull Donghyuk into a tight hug. Donghyuk slips his arms around Jinhwan's waist in a way that feels all too familiar and comes all too naturally, and he realises that he's really missed the feeling of having Jinhwan in his arms - small and warm.
Jinhwan pulls back to rest one small palm against Donghyuk's left cheek gently, and Donghyuk is pretty sure the affection is evident in his eyes because Jinhwan had always been - and still is, Donghyuk knows - someone so important to him, to all of them. Back when they were all still in high school, Jinhwan had taken care of them so well: always listening to them, always helping them, always pushing them to work hard, always taking all their teasing and bullying in that good-natured way of his. Donghyuk had confided in Jinhwan a lot, had relied on him so much: he doesn't know how he managed to keep himself together after being so distant from the elder for the past year or so, but he chooses to focus on the feeling of Jinhwan's warm palm against his cheek and the fondness in his eyes and yes, it feels like home.
"You look different," is the first thing Jinhwan says after he drops his hand. "We've missed you," he repeats Yunhyeong's words perfectly.
"We've? You sure about that, hyung?"
A lopsided yet fond grin tugs at the edges of Donghyuk's lips at the familiar voice. Jinhwan steps aside and there's Junhwe, expression faintly amused, but there's a hint of gentleness in his eyes and Donghyuk's heart pangs a little because this is Junhwe, his best friend ever since they were immature kids, and how could he have practically stopped talking to him for more than a year?
Donghyuk laughs as he takes a step towards the couch, Junhwe meeting him halfway as he gets to his feet and accepts Donghyuk's quick hug. Junhwe was never the touchy type, anyway, especially when it came to Bob-
Donghyuk catches himself.
"I see you're still living in denial of the love you have for me," Donghyuk teases instead, and it's so easy.
Junhwe scoffs, but there's a playful spark in his eyes that's just so Junhwe. "And I see you're still as deluded as you were back when we were 15."
Donghyuk's just about to reply with something snarky, but then Hanbin and Chanwoo are pulling him into friendly, familiar hugs, asking him how he's been, how the dancing is coming along, about the countries he's been to when his dance academy goes on tour and about the people he's met, the things he's seen. Yunhyeong comes over to join them when Donghyuk's in the middle of talking about the performance they did in Prague, handing Donghyuk a drink and perching himself on the armrest of the seat that Donghyuk's in. After Donghyuk finishes his short story, Yunhyeong reaches around Donghyuk to rest a hand on Chanwoo's shoulder and tell him that some of their mutual friends are looking for him. They leave, and Hanbin turns to Donghyuk.
"You know this is Chanwoo's apartment too, right?" Hanbin asks Donghyuk, playing idly with the glass in his hand. "They decided to get an apartment together because they work in the same area. It's like one, two train stops from here, I think."
And Donghyuk supposes this is what happens when you fail to keep in contact with your friends. He had thought Chanwoo was still staying with his parents, or had gotten an apartment alone elsewhere. He realises that he doesn't even know what Chanwoo's job is, doesn't know whether Yunhyeong's still pursuing a culinary career, doesn't know how Hanbin's doing at his job as a composer and lyricist at one of the biggest talent agencies in the city.
"Oh," Donghyuk replies lamely. He's ashamed of himself, really. He'd always thought of himself as a good friend to others; what changed? "I didn't know," he admits.
"It's okay," Jinhwan reassures him, emotionally attuned to all of them as ever. Apparently spending almost two years apart doesn't change that. Then he grins, voice teasing. "What's more important is Hanbin's embarrassing lack of a love life."
"Still?" Donghyuk utters in wonder as he turns to Hanbin, at the exact same moment Hanbin flushes and Junhwe snorts, ducking his head a little to press his lips to Jinhwan's exposed shoulder and oh, okay, that's new.
Except maybe it isn't. Donghyuk remembers receiving a message from Yunhyeong about this a few months ago, telling him that Junhwe and Jinhwan had started dating. Unfortunately, Donghyuk had been in Paris at that time and had received the message right as he was about to go on stage, so he had turned his phone off, tossed it into his duffel bag and forgot about replying the message after that. Jinhwan is listening to Hanbin whine with an expression of fond amusement on his face, but Donghyuk watches as the eldest rests a hand on Junhwe’s thigh, patting absentmindedly; he watches how they sit with their arms and thighs pressed against each other’s and realises how natural it looks, how right, and guesses that some things are just bound to happen in their own time.
(But then Donghyuk thinks of warm and playful eyes, shaggy black hair, a dimpled smile and strong arms and remembers the painful truth that time doesn’t stop for anyone.)
Considering how none of them choose to explain anything to Donghyuk, though, he supposes that they know he knows, and perhaps trust him enough to not have to hide anything in front of him.
It seems insignificant, but Donghyuk feels warm; accepted.
“Have you heard from him recently?”
Donghyuk glances over at Hanbin, who meets his gaze briefly before looking down at the now-empty glass in his hands. Jinhwan’s busy with his phone, and Junhwe’s got his chin hooked over Jinhwan’s shoulder as he looks down at the elder’s phone screen, and Donghyuk knows immediately who Hanbin is referring to when he says him.
Bobby.
It’s no secret among the seven of them that Bobby and Donghyuk had always been kind of dancing around each other, toeing the dangerous line between friendship and something more, yet never actually becoming anything more than friends. Donghyuk always had a slight hero worship thing going on for Bobby ever since he met him, back when he was an awkward and fumbling 15 year-old who hadn’t known what he’d wanted in life but had an indomitable will to prove himself, to be better. Donghyuk was smart, good at dancing and had a decent number of friends, but Bobby was so much more: Bobby was untouchable, bright like a star in the sky and so very far away. Bobby was the junior that everyone knew and everyone loved, playful and easygoing yet fiercely driven and loyal to a fault. He was the newly-elected vice-captain of the basketball team when Donghyuk was first introduced to him, part of the student council committee that had to liaise with all the sports teams in preparation for the school’s open house. Bobby’s naturally friendly disposition combined with Donghyuk’s eagerness to please meant they hit it off quickly and got along extremely well, and it wasn’t long before Bobby was introducing him to their little group of five (they hadn’t yet known Chanwoo back then) and they were spending increasing amounts of time together, be it studying together, playing soccer together, going out for meals together or just talking, sometimes on the bleachers in the empty gym after Bobby’s basketball practice had ended, or on the evenings when Bobby would wait for Donghyuk to finish dance practice and they’d walk to the train station together.
It was inevitable, really, that young and impressionable Donghyuk would develop a crush on Bobby.
It was inevitable that Donghyuk would feel his heart flip whenever Bobby wrapped an arm around his shoulders, that Donghyuk would blush and duck his head whenever Bobby would lean in too close to whisper into his ear, that Donghyuk would feel himself leaning into Bobby’s touch whenever the elder played with his hair or placed a comforting palm against his cheek.
Perhaps what was not so inevitable would be Donghyuk losing contact with Bobby completely after the elder graduated from high school and moved back to the States.
Donghyuk doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget the abruptness with which it all happened: one day they were all lazing around in Yunhyeong’s house together, Bobby’s head in his lap and Donghyuk’s fingers in his hair, and the next day Bobby had gotten himself a ticket to the States after receiving news of a family emergency back home. Donghyuk remembers the airport, how he had wanted to selfishly tell Bobby everything, but had taken one look at the anguish in Bobby’s eyes and lost all the will to ask the elder to stay. Donghyuk had been doing a pretty decent job of not crying, but then Bobby had hugged him too tight and had leaned down to press his lips to the corner of Donghyuk’s mouth, and by the time Bobby had let out a broken-sounding Donggu-yah, Donghyuk was already crying, heart tearing into two in his chest.
That was the last time Donghyuk had seen Bobby, and he’s never heard from him since.
“I haven’t heard from him since he left, hyung,” Donghyuk finally responds to Hanbin, voice quiet.
There’s a shout from somewhere in the apartment: fifteen minutes to midnight.
Hanbin says nothing, so Donghyuk takes a sip from his glass before asking his next question. “Have you?”
Hanbin takes too long to respond. “I - no, not really.”
(Another effect of more than seven years of friendship: it’s almost impossible for them to lie to one another.)
Donghyuk smiles a little, sad yet acquiescent. It’s probably the most horrible smile Hanbin has ever seen on the younger.
“Is he doing okay?” Donghyuk asks instead, turning the glass in his hands.
Hanbin’s expression is half-pained, half-guilty. Donghyuk almost feels bad. Hanbin doesn’t say anything, but then he nods once, and it’s quick, but Donghyuk suddenly feels bile rise up his throat as his chest constricts and it hurts, and he thought throwing himself into dancing and distancing himself from his friends for more than a year would help him forget, but clearly he was wrong.
“I have to - um - ” Donghyuk pushes a hand through his hair as he stands, and Hanbin’s expression looks wrecked now.
“Fuck, Donghyuk, I’m sor - ”
“It’s not your fault,” Donghyuk cuts in quickly, and it’s true: his friends had supported him when he told them he was going to pursue his dream of dancing full-time, had constantly tried to reach out to him even when he began to pull away, and Donghyuk knows that their affection for him has not changed, even with all the time that has passed. Donghyuk has done his fair share of dating over the past year or so, has thrown himself into relationships and been with some good people, but it feels as though no matter what he does or who he’s with, he’s stuck in a loop that somehow always leads him back to Bobby.
Jinhwan calls after him when he turns and walks away, but Donghyuk makes his way through the people in the apartment in record speed, planning on finding either Yunhyeong or Chanwoo to say goodbye before taking his leave. He’s just about to walk past the hallway that leads to the front door when he hears Yunhyeong’s unmistakable laugh, so he turns into the hallway and pads towards the front door.
“Yunhyeong-hyung? I’m sorry, I’m not feeling - ”
Donghyuk’s words die in his throat when he takes in the sight before him: Yunhyeong’s eyes are curved into crescents and there’s a wide, unadulterated grin on his face, and he’s got one hand resting on a jacket-covered arm, but that arm belongs to -
“Donggu-yah,” Bobby breathes, and that alone is enough to make Donghyuk feel as though all the air’s been knocked from his lungs.
Yunhyeong drops his hand from Bobby’s arm and steps back, looking between the two of them and letting a soft smile curl at the edges of his lips, sad yet hopeful.
“I’ll leave you guys to it, then,” Yunhyeong says, giving Donghyuk an encouraging nod as he walks past him before disappearing down the hall.
They don’t say anything for the first few minutes. Donghyuk takes in Bobby’s appearance and, as expected, he’s changed in the three years since he last saw him: his hair is longer now, tips of his fringe poking into his eyes. His jawline is stronger now too, more defined than last time, and he’s grown a little taller, as well as gained more muscle mass. But he’s still so unmistakably Bobby, the same Bobby Donghyuk had fallen for back when they were both still teenage boys, Bobby with his messy black hair, sharp eyes and deep voice.
Donghyuk’s heart aches because fuck, he’s missed Bobby so much and he supposes it really is true: he’s never really stopped waiting for him, never actually stopped liking him.
Another yell: five minutes to midnight.
“You never called,” is the first thing Donghyuk says.
Bobby’s expression is pained. “I wanted to. Fuck, I - ” Bobby rakes a hand through his hair but it falls right back into place. Donghyuk has to curl his fingers into slight fists, resisting the urge to step forward, reach up and just touch -
“You have no idea how badly I wanted to call you. To hear your voice; to talk to you. I missed you - ” Bobby’s voice actually cracks, and Donghyuk didn’t think it was possible, but he feels his heart ripping into two again. “I missed just being next to you. I missed the way you’d always greet me, calling me hyung with that smile on your face, the way you’d laugh at my jokes even when no one else thought I was funny, the way you stood up for me, the way you believed in me so earnestly - ”
Donghyuk’s already crying. His chest feels too tight, and his heart feels as though it’s about to leap out of his chest and right into Bobby’s hands. Bobby chuckles lightly despite his misty eyes as he takes one tentative step towards Donghyuk.
“I missed the way you looked at me as though I was the best hyung, your favourite person.”
(Bobby doesn’t know this yet, but Donghyuk always thought he looked at the elder as though he’d hung the stars in the sky.)
Yunhyeong’s voice, this time: two minutes to midnight.
“I couldn’t call you because I was so convinced that if I gave in and allowed myself to stay close to you, I’d take the first flight out of the States and come back here. But I had to grow up and be responsible for my family, had to take care of my mom, and I thought that the only way I could do that was if I cut off all ties with you, so that I could completely devote myself to holding my family together. Things finally stabilised this year, so when Yunhyeong messaged me like he does every year to invite me to this gathering, I could finally come back with a peace of mind.”
Bobby is standing right in front of him now, so close that Donghyuk actually has to tilt his head up a little to look into his eyes. Bobby looks down at him, eyes full of yearning and affection as he lightly takes Donghyuk’s hand in his. Bobby turns his gaze down towards their joined hands and a wry smile pulls at his lips, which is when Donghyuk knows they’re probably thinking the same thing: perhaps, between them, it has always been this simple.
“We were so stupid, back then. Weren’t we,” Bobby murmurs, and Donghyuk thinks his heartbeat trips over itself when Bobby softly drags a thumb over his knuckles.
“I didn’t have the courage to tell you anything,” Donghyuk mumbles. “I guess we were both just afraid.”
30 seconds.
“I was so overwhelmingly fond of you, you know? To the extent that it felt too much at times,” Bobby confesses, gaze flicking upwards to look at Donghyuk, and Donghyuk can practically hear his heartbeat roaring in his ears, thrumming through his veins.
20 seconds.
“I know I’m three years late, but - ” Bobby lifts his head and he’s looking straight at Donghyuk, now. “I like you, Donghyuk-ah,” Bobby’s voice is low and warm and his gaze is so painfully sincere, and Donghyuk’s heartbeat stutters, and three years is a long time, but -
10 seconds.
Donghyuk slips his hand from Bobby’s grasp and brings it up to press his fingers against Bobby’s jaw, touch feather-light. “I’ve liked you ever since you bought me the melona from the school cafeteria, hyung, when I was 15 and you hadn’t yet turned 17.”
A breathtaking smile stretches across Bobby’s face, and it’s the most beautiful thing Donghyuk has ever seen.
3, 2, 1 -
Donghyuk rests his palm on Bobby’s cheek, smiling beatifically. “Happy new year, Bobby-hyung. Welcome home; I’ve missed you.”
And Bobby leans down and finally, finally, kisses him.
Bobby’s lips are soft, tentative and careful in the way they move against Donghyuk’s. The kiss tastes a little salty, but Donghyuk goes pliant under Bobby’s hands as they come up to gently cradle his face, his own fingers moving to curl into the front of Bobby’s jacket. When they pull away slightly, Donghyuk lets out a shaky exhale and clutches onto Bobby’s jacket tighter as the elder shifts his head a little to press his lips to the corner of his mouth, exactly like how he had done it three years ago at the airport.
Except this time, a few things are different: Donghyuk can feel the curve of Bobby’s smile against his own lips now, and this time, Bobby slips both arms around Donghyuk’s waist to pull the younger closer instead of turning and walking away. Donghyuk had his very first experience with heartbreak when Bobby kissed him like this three years ago, but now he feels his heart swelling in his chest and a warm, pleasant feeling blooming in his gut when Bobby leans in to kiss him again.
Pairing(s)/focus: Bobby/Donghyuk, side!Jinhwan/Junhwe
Rating: PG-13
Word count: ~3,600
Warnings: None
A/N: 2016 New Year's fic!!（⌒▽⌒ゞ
Summary: In which Donghyuk is stuck in the past, Bobby has been gone for three years, and people always did say that the New Year was a time for second chances.
When Donghyuk rings the doorbell, he barely manages to toe off his black converses before the door is pulled open and he's greeted by Yunhyeong's grinning face.
"It's Kim Donghyuk!" Yunhyeong yells, and Donghyuk laughs a little as he allows himself to get tugged into the apartment, accepting the hug that Yunhyeong offers him. Yunhyeong pulls back and lightly grips both his arms, smile warm and familiar in a way that makes Donghyuk's heartbeat relax into a peaceful rhythm.
Even after all these years, Yunhyeong still always reminds Donghyuk of the feeling of coming home.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Yunhyeong says, dropping his hands in favour of looping a casual arm around Donghyuk's shoulders and leading him further into the apartment.
It has. The last time Donghyuk met up with their little gang was more than a year ago. "Yeah, it has," Donghyuk says as much.
Yunhyeong glances over at him briefly before squeezing his shoulder gently and god, Donghyuk never thought he'd miss being around his hyungs so much, but with Yunhyeong warm and pressed against his side and his arm a real weight around his shoulders, Donghyuk realises just how much he's missed them, how much he loves these people.
Yunhyeong looks like he wants to say more, but then they turn the corner to the living room and immediately, Donghyuk is greeted by a crowd of what appears to be complete strangers. There's music playing from what Donghyuk supposes is Yunhyeong's phone on the speaker dock, and all around the apartment, people are talking and laughing with drinks in their hands. Donghyuk smiles a little awkwardly when a stranger accidentally bumps into him before apologising, and he really begins to reconsider his decision of choosing to come to Yunhyeong's annual New Year's Eve party when someone comes up to them excitedly to tug Yunhyeong away.
There must be a slightly panicked expression on Donghyuk's face when Yunhyeong drops his arm from around his shoulders to step away, but then Yunhyeong's gaze flickers over Donghyuk's shoulder, and he laughs. "Don't worry," Yunhyeong says, eyes sparkling and grin a little wicked. The expression is so familiar that Donghyuk is almost instantly reminded of the times when they were all in high school, and Yunhyeong's face would always take on this cunning expression when he was about to pull a prank, usually with Chanwoo or if not -
Donghyuk's heart twists a little in longing, so he stops thinking.
"You know enough people here," Yunhyeong finishes, tipping his head in the direction behind Donghyuk. Yunhyeong's expression softens for the briefest of moments. "Have fun, okay? We missed you," he says finally, smile as warm as Donghyuk remembers it being ever since they were teenagers before turning and following after his friend.
Donghyuk weaves his way through the throng of people in search of anyone he might know, but he doesn't have to walk far: he reaches the sitting area and immediately recognises the four people sitting around the coffee table. He opens his mouth to make his presence known, but then Jinhwan looks up, and he doesn't have to say anything at all because the brightest of smiles spreads across Jinhwan's face as he gets to his feet and steps towards Donghyuk, stretching up on his tiptoes (the action makes Donghyuk's chest warm because even after all these years and time spent apart, some things really never change) to pull Donghyuk into a tight hug. Donghyuk slips his arms around Jinhwan's waist in a way that feels all too familiar and comes all too naturally, and he realises that he's really missed the feeling of having Jinhwan in his arms - small and warm.
Jinhwan pulls back to rest one small palm against Donghyuk's left cheek gently, and Donghyuk is pretty sure the affection is evident in his eyes because Jinhwan had always been - and still is, Donghyuk knows - someone so important to him, to all of them. Back when they were all still in high school, Jinhwan had taken care of them so well: always listening to them, always helping them, always pushing them to work hard, always taking all their teasing and bullying in that good-natured way of his. Donghyuk had confided in Jinhwan a lot, had relied on him so much: he doesn't know how he managed to keep himself together after being so distant from the elder for the past year or so, but he chooses to focus on the feeling of Jinhwan's warm palm against his cheek and the fondness in his eyes and yes, it feels like home.
"You look different," is the first thing Jinhwan says after he drops his hand. "We've missed you," he repeats Yunhyeong's words perfectly.
"We've? You sure about that, hyung?"
A lopsided yet fond grin tugs at the edges of Donghyuk's lips at the familiar voice. Jinhwan steps aside and there's Junhwe, expression faintly amused, but there's a hint of gentleness in his eyes and Donghyuk's heart pangs a little because this is Junhwe, his best friend ever since they were immature kids, and how could he have practically stopped talking to him for more than a year?
Donghyuk laughs as he takes a step towards the couch, Junhwe meeting him halfway as he gets to his feet and accepts Donghyuk's quick hug. Junhwe was never the touchy type, anyway, especially when it came to Bob-
Donghyuk catches himself.
"I see you're still living in denial of the love you have for me," Donghyuk teases instead, and it's so easy.
Junhwe scoffs, but there's a playful spark in his eyes that's just so Junhwe. "And I see you're still as deluded as you were back when we were 15."
Donghyuk's just about to reply with something snarky, but then Hanbin and Chanwoo are pulling him into friendly, familiar hugs, asking him how he's been, how the dancing is coming along, about the countries he's been to when his dance academy goes on tour and about the people he's met, the things he's seen. Yunhyeong comes over to join them when Donghyuk's in the middle of talking about the performance they did in Prague, handing Donghyuk a drink and perching himself on the armrest of the seat that Donghyuk's in. After Donghyuk finishes his short story, Yunhyeong reaches around Donghyuk to rest a hand on Chanwoo's shoulder and tell him that some of their mutual friends are looking for him. They leave, and Hanbin turns to Donghyuk.
"You know this is Chanwoo's apartment too, right?" Hanbin asks Donghyuk, playing idly with the glass in his hand. "They decided to get an apartment together because they work in the same area. It's like one, two train stops from here, I think."
And Donghyuk supposes this is what happens when you fail to keep in contact with your friends. He had thought Chanwoo was still staying with his parents, or had gotten an apartment alone elsewhere. He realises that he doesn't even know what Chanwoo's job is, doesn't know whether Yunhyeong's still pursuing a culinary career, doesn't know how Hanbin's doing at his job as a composer and lyricist at one of the biggest talent agencies in the city.
"Oh," Donghyuk replies lamely. He's ashamed of himself, really. He'd always thought of himself as a good friend to others; what changed? "I didn't know," he admits.
"It's okay," Jinhwan reassures him, emotionally attuned to all of them as ever. Apparently spending almost two years apart doesn't change that. Then he grins, voice teasing. "What's more important is Hanbin's embarrassing lack of a love life."
"Still?" Donghyuk utters in wonder as he turns to Hanbin, at the exact same moment Hanbin flushes and Junhwe snorts, ducking his head a little to press his lips to Jinhwan's exposed shoulder and oh, okay, that's new.
Except maybe it isn't. Donghyuk remembers receiving a message from Yunhyeong about this a few months ago, telling him that Junhwe and Jinhwan had started dating. Unfortunately, Donghyuk had been in Paris at that time and had received the message right as he was about to go on stage, so he had turned his phone off, tossed it into his duffel bag and forgot about replying the message after that. Jinhwan is listening to Hanbin whine with an expression of fond amusement on his face, but Donghyuk watches as the eldest rests a hand on Junhwe’s thigh, patting absentmindedly; he watches how they sit with their arms and thighs pressed against each other’s and realises how natural it looks, how right, and guesses that some things are just bound to happen in their own time.
(But then Donghyuk thinks of warm and playful eyes, shaggy black hair, a dimpled smile and strong arms and remembers the painful truth that time doesn’t stop for anyone.)
Considering how none of them choose to explain anything to Donghyuk, though, he supposes that they know he knows, and perhaps trust him enough to not have to hide anything in front of him.
It seems insignificant, but Donghyuk feels warm; accepted.
“Have you heard from him recently?”
Donghyuk glances over at Hanbin, who meets his gaze briefly before looking down at the now-empty glass in his hands. Jinhwan’s busy with his phone, and Junhwe’s got his chin hooked over Jinhwan’s shoulder as he looks down at the elder’s phone screen, and Donghyuk knows immediately who Hanbin is referring to when he says him.
Bobby.
It’s no secret among the seven of them that Bobby and Donghyuk had always been kind of dancing around each other, toeing the dangerous line between friendship and something more, yet never actually becoming anything more than friends. Donghyuk always had a slight hero worship thing going on for Bobby ever since he met him, back when he was an awkward and fumbling 15 year-old who hadn’t known what he’d wanted in life but had an indomitable will to prove himself, to be better. Donghyuk was smart, good at dancing and had a decent number of friends, but Bobby was so much more: Bobby was untouchable, bright like a star in the sky and so very far away. Bobby was the junior that everyone knew and everyone loved, playful and easygoing yet fiercely driven and loyal to a fault. He was the newly-elected vice-captain of the basketball team when Donghyuk was first introduced to him, part of the student council committee that had to liaise with all the sports teams in preparation for the school’s open house. Bobby’s naturally friendly disposition combined with Donghyuk’s eagerness to please meant they hit it off quickly and got along extremely well, and it wasn’t long before Bobby was introducing him to their little group of five (they hadn’t yet known Chanwoo back then) and they were spending increasing amounts of time together, be it studying together, playing soccer together, going out for meals together or just talking, sometimes on the bleachers in the empty gym after Bobby’s basketball practice had ended, or on the evenings when Bobby would wait for Donghyuk to finish dance practice and they’d walk to the train station together.
It was inevitable, really, that young and impressionable Donghyuk would develop a crush on Bobby.
It was inevitable that Donghyuk would feel his heart flip whenever Bobby wrapped an arm around his shoulders, that Donghyuk would blush and duck his head whenever Bobby would lean in too close to whisper into his ear, that Donghyuk would feel himself leaning into Bobby’s touch whenever the elder played with his hair or placed a comforting palm against his cheek.
Perhaps what was not so inevitable would be Donghyuk losing contact with Bobby completely after the elder graduated from high school and moved back to the States.
Donghyuk doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget the abruptness with which it all happened: one day they were all lazing around in Yunhyeong’s house together, Bobby’s head in his lap and Donghyuk’s fingers in his hair, and the next day Bobby had gotten himself a ticket to the States after receiving news of a family emergency back home. Donghyuk remembers the airport, how he had wanted to selfishly tell Bobby everything, but had taken one look at the anguish in Bobby’s eyes and lost all the will to ask the elder to stay. Donghyuk had been doing a pretty decent job of not crying, but then Bobby had hugged him too tight and had leaned down to press his lips to the corner of Donghyuk’s mouth, and by the time Bobby had let out a broken-sounding Donggu-yah, Donghyuk was already crying, heart tearing into two in his chest.
That was the last time Donghyuk had seen Bobby, and he’s never heard from him since.
“I haven’t heard from him since he left, hyung,” Donghyuk finally responds to Hanbin, voice quiet.
There’s a shout from somewhere in the apartment: fifteen minutes to midnight.
Hanbin says nothing, so Donghyuk takes a sip from his glass before asking his next question. “Have you?”
Hanbin takes too long to respond. “I - no, not really.”
(Another effect of more than seven years of friendship: it’s almost impossible for them to lie to one another.)
Donghyuk smiles a little, sad yet acquiescent. It’s probably the most horrible smile Hanbin has ever seen on the younger.
“Is he doing okay?” Donghyuk asks instead, turning the glass in his hands.
Hanbin’s expression is half-pained, half-guilty. Donghyuk almost feels bad. Hanbin doesn’t say anything, but then he nods once, and it’s quick, but Donghyuk suddenly feels bile rise up his throat as his chest constricts and it hurts, and he thought throwing himself into dancing and distancing himself from his friends for more than a year would help him forget, but clearly he was wrong.
“I have to - um - ” Donghyuk pushes a hand through his hair as he stands, and Hanbin’s expression looks wrecked now.
“Fuck, Donghyuk, I’m sor - ”
“It’s not your fault,” Donghyuk cuts in quickly, and it’s true: his friends had supported him when he told them he was going to pursue his dream of dancing full-time, had constantly tried to reach out to him even when he began to pull away, and Donghyuk knows that their affection for him has not changed, even with all the time that has passed. Donghyuk has done his fair share of dating over the past year or so, has thrown himself into relationships and been with some good people, but it feels as though no matter what he does or who he’s with, he’s stuck in a loop that somehow always leads him back to Bobby.
Jinhwan calls after him when he turns and walks away, but Donghyuk makes his way through the people in the apartment in record speed, planning on finding either Yunhyeong or Chanwoo to say goodbye before taking his leave. He’s just about to walk past the hallway that leads to the front door when he hears Yunhyeong’s unmistakable laugh, so he turns into the hallway and pads towards the front door.
“Yunhyeong-hyung? I’m sorry, I’m not feeling - ”
Donghyuk’s words die in his throat when he takes in the sight before him: Yunhyeong’s eyes are curved into crescents and there’s a wide, unadulterated grin on his face, and he’s got one hand resting on a jacket-covered arm, but that arm belongs to -
“Donggu-yah,” Bobby breathes, and that alone is enough to make Donghyuk feel as though all the air’s been knocked from his lungs.
Yunhyeong drops his hand from Bobby’s arm and steps back, looking between the two of them and letting a soft smile curl at the edges of his lips, sad yet hopeful.
“I’ll leave you guys to it, then,” Yunhyeong says, giving Donghyuk an encouraging nod as he walks past him before disappearing down the hall.
They don’t say anything for the first few minutes. Donghyuk takes in Bobby’s appearance and, as expected, he’s changed in the three years since he last saw him: his hair is longer now, tips of his fringe poking into his eyes. His jawline is stronger now too, more defined than last time, and he’s grown a little taller, as well as gained more muscle mass. But he’s still so unmistakably Bobby, the same Bobby Donghyuk had fallen for back when they were both still teenage boys, Bobby with his messy black hair, sharp eyes and deep voice.
Donghyuk’s heart aches because fuck, he’s missed Bobby so much and he supposes it really is true: he’s never really stopped waiting for him, never actually stopped liking him.
Another yell: five minutes to midnight.
“You never called,” is the first thing Donghyuk says.
Bobby’s expression is pained. “I wanted to. Fuck, I - ” Bobby rakes a hand through his hair but it falls right back into place. Donghyuk has to curl his fingers into slight fists, resisting the urge to step forward, reach up and just touch -
“You have no idea how badly I wanted to call you. To hear your voice; to talk to you. I missed you - ” Bobby’s voice actually cracks, and Donghyuk didn’t think it was possible, but he feels his heart ripping into two again. “I missed just being next to you. I missed the way you’d always greet me, calling me hyung with that smile on your face, the way you’d laugh at my jokes even when no one else thought I was funny, the way you stood up for me, the way you believed in me so earnestly - ”
Donghyuk’s already crying. His chest feels too tight, and his heart feels as though it’s about to leap out of his chest and right into Bobby’s hands. Bobby chuckles lightly despite his misty eyes as he takes one tentative step towards Donghyuk.
“I missed the way you looked at me as though I was the best hyung, your favourite person.”
(Bobby doesn’t know this yet, but Donghyuk always thought he looked at the elder as though he’d hung the stars in the sky.)
Yunhyeong’s voice, this time: two minutes to midnight.
“I couldn’t call you because I was so convinced that if I gave in and allowed myself to stay close to you, I’d take the first flight out of the States and come back here. But I had to grow up and be responsible for my family, had to take care of my mom, and I thought that the only way I could do that was if I cut off all ties with you, so that I could completely devote myself to holding my family together. Things finally stabilised this year, so when Yunhyeong messaged me like he does every year to invite me to this gathering, I could finally come back with a peace of mind.”
Bobby is standing right in front of him now, so close that Donghyuk actually has to tilt his head up a little to look into his eyes. Bobby looks down at him, eyes full of yearning and affection as he lightly takes Donghyuk’s hand in his. Bobby turns his gaze down towards their joined hands and a wry smile pulls at his lips, which is when Donghyuk knows they’re probably thinking the same thing: perhaps, between them, it has always been this simple.
“We were so stupid, back then. Weren’t we,” Bobby murmurs, and Donghyuk thinks his heartbeat trips over itself when Bobby softly drags a thumb over his knuckles.
“I didn’t have the courage to tell you anything,” Donghyuk mumbles. “I guess we were both just afraid.”
30 seconds.
“I was so overwhelmingly fond of you, you know? To the extent that it felt too much at times,” Bobby confesses, gaze flicking upwards to look at Donghyuk, and Donghyuk can practically hear his heartbeat roaring in his ears, thrumming through his veins.
20 seconds.
“I know I’m three years late, but - ” Bobby lifts his head and he’s looking straight at Donghyuk, now. “I like you, Donghyuk-ah,” Bobby’s voice is low and warm and his gaze is so painfully sincere, and Donghyuk’s heartbeat stutters, and three years is a long time, but -
10 seconds.
Donghyuk slips his hand from Bobby’s grasp and brings it up to press his fingers against Bobby’s jaw, touch feather-light. “I’ve liked you ever since you bought me the melona from the school cafeteria, hyung, when I was 15 and you hadn’t yet turned 17.”
A breathtaking smile stretches across Bobby’s face, and it’s the most beautiful thing Donghyuk has ever seen.
3, 2, 1 -
Donghyuk rests his palm on Bobby’s cheek, smiling beatifically. “Happy new year, Bobby-hyung. Welcome home; I’ve missed you.”
And Bobby leans down and finally, finally, kisses him.
Bobby’s lips are soft, tentative and careful in the way they move against Donghyuk’s. The kiss tastes a little salty, but Donghyuk goes pliant under Bobby’s hands as they come up to gently cradle his face, his own fingers moving to curl into the front of Bobby’s jacket. When they pull away slightly, Donghyuk lets out a shaky exhale and clutches onto Bobby’s jacket tighter as the elder shifts his head a little to press his lips to the corner of his mouth, exactly like how he had done it three years ago at the airport.
Except this time, a few things are different: Donghyuk can feel the curve of Bobby’s smile against his own lips now, and this time, Bobby slips both arms around Donghyuk’s waist to pull the younger closer instead of turning and walking away. Donghyuk had his very first experience with heartbreak when Bobby kissed him like this three years ago, but now he feels his heart swelling in his chest and a warm, pleasant feeling blooming in his gut when Bobby leans in to kiss him again.