Being so far north, it is almost three pm and the sky looks like dusk. It has rained for 27 consecutive days here. I can look around like most northwest folks and see beauty and depression at the same time. The sky is half overcast, but in the depths of winter, everything is still green. I like it and I hate it ( Read more... )

I just put my pinky into my wife's butthole. It was awesome.

Last Friday I took a second shot at reuniting with Lt. Ruth Pepito. For anyone who does not know that backstory, she and I inprocessed to Fort Lewis together last December. Last January, we were told one of us would deploy to Iraq with another unit, and the other would stay. Obviously, I was the one who stayed ( Read more... )

Making new friends is a lot like dating, I am finding out again. I have been here in Seattle for just shy of 12 months, Naomi just shy of 10 months. We are still struggling to make friends even after that long ( Read more... )

Surgery to remove a breast lump.
$8,000

Trip out for Vicodin, groceries, and flowers.
$45

Second trip for General Tso's chicken, nausea medication, and cigarettes.
$20

Practicing for the birth of your first child.
Priceless.

Naomi had her surgery this morning. Right now she has uncontrollable hickups, and she just barfed. I haven't seen the incision on her boob yet because she has to keep a bandage on it for another two days ( Read more... )

Carving a likeness of Bill Clinton into a pumpkin is significantly harder than I expected. I ended up with a little bit of Jimmy Carter in there somehow.

So a litany of bad things have come up in the last few days ( Read more... )

Me: "It smells like a cooter filled with giz-um. Who filled your cooter with giz-um?!!"
Naomi: "Potato Salad."
Me: "Someone filled your cooter with potato salad?"
Naomi: "Yes. She doesn't go for those low-carb diets."

"Is this a freckle or food?...Nope, it was food."

"I think if you put a vibrator in my butt, I would feel like a turbojet."