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[nom_de_plume_86]

I need to know better than to think about J or write about him here like I did the other night.  Everytime I do, it's like sending out some cosmic signal for him to pop back into my life

Comments

[starspirit76]

I think that your friends should have told you what was coming.

It's also ok for you to feel the way you do. There isn't a magic number of days or months that will pass before you are over it. I know it doesn't help to keep running into him but I speak from experience in that it will hurt less as time goes on.

[nom_de_plume_86]

I just thought that now, almost half a year later, that it wouldn't still feel this raw.

[ascendant]

and you won't wake up the day you're over it and realize it either. it will be weeks later, when you're doing something else entirely. and you won't even be bothered to think long about why you're over it because you'll no longer see that as even worth your time.

[nom_de_plume_86]

I know, I'd just thought that I was already at that point. I'd spend weeks at a time with out a thought of him flicking through my head, and when it did happen, it wasn't a stabbing pain anymore.
This feels like it brought me right back to square one, at least at the time. Right now I just feel drained and desperate to do something to get my mind off of it.

[soulofchris]

The hardest part is making the logical part of your brain understand what the heart/emotions may never be able to logically explain. That's why love/relationships/etc. suck for people who think... or at least, that's why I think they're so difficult. They just don't make any sense; you can't quantify them or label them; and when they're gone, they leave a big hole that your brain now has to figure out how it got there and what to do about it.

You're clearly not doing anything wrong, and who knows, sadly, how long it will take to get over someone. I would absolutely punch a hole in a wall if I had to talk to Bryan, and everytime I see him, regardless of how secure I am feeling, I involuntarily and helplessly feel ready to vomit.

But again, you're moving on and forward, and sometimes, there are just snags. Don't let it stop your momentum.

[nom_de_plume_86]

Let me tell you, this is one hell of a snag then.

[luckyme_in]

Don't beat yourself or your friends up over this. It sounds cliche to say, but it honestly is part of life. You have love interests and if things don't work out you'll probably see them with a new love interest at some point down the line. The alternative is living under a rock and never going out again for risk of accidentally bumping into an ex

[nom_de_plume_86]

All I can think is just that. That I wasn't good enough. And all the self doubt is just eating me up completely.
I know I deserve better than him. And I'll never understand how he has this much sway over me still.