Dear cold bug,
It is not appreciated that you jumped on me at this particular moment in time. Kindly go drown yourself in whatever that shit was that I coughed up, 'cause that was fuckin' nasty. I feel like shit, and it's all your fault. There's a beer, a bowl of soup with crackers, and a bed with my name on it, and you're not invited.
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I can't breathe outta my left nostril. At all. C'mere, lemme breathe on you. Twins share, after all.
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I bet this is ALL your fault, too.
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kthxplzdie
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