Let this be known as the night of pokemon revival.

A collection of pokemon haiku
/
Oh Shit, the silph scope
forgotten in bill's pc
Lavender awaits.
/
Oh, Emo Eevee
Your myspace claims different, but
you are just normal.
/
Mewtwo, you look like
A human, but you are now
My animal slave
/
One time, Mr. Mime
touched me. over and over.
the shame will remain.
/
A. A. A. A. A.
I still haven't found any
Shit in this tunnel.
/
Mewtwo, my master
ball took Zapdos, so you
will never be mine
/
oh, joy upon joy
rare candy is found! Koffing,
level-up right now!
/
Pikachu, wears hats:
The most important thing in
Super Smash Brothers
/
Yu-Gi-Oh, Digi-
mon, and any other rip-
offs, hear this: fuck you
/
Bowie, In his
androgynous glory, would
choose Mr. Mime each time
/
Persian Scratched! You don't
know where it's been. Here comes AIDS,
killing you softly
/
This lab is burnt down
Men may have died in this place
Is no one alarmed?

/
You found max potion
In the middle of the road
no-one else wants it
/
You have caught them all
There is no reward for you
CONGRATULATIONS!

/
Re-animated,
Old fossils spring back to life.
Thank you, Viagra
/
If they aren't vegans
I shudder to think about
the Pokemon land
/
Oh, whom shall I choose?
Hitmonchan or Hitmonlee?
It doesn't matter.
/
Fucking Wrap. I hope
It just hits twice. I'm not scared,
but it's just boooring.
/
Does the meat of a
Dewgong, taste sweeter if you
killed with Ratatta?
/
Voltorb, Electrode
Why even continue on?
Suicide's your choice
/
Poison is good, but
toxic is so much better.
Koga, I thank thee
/
Ash and Gary do
it. A fan fiction told me so.
and those NEVER lie
/
Goldy, you are weird.
I caught you while fishing, and
you use PECK on me?
/
Swimmer, I don't like
Your prominent speedo-bulge
Put on some pants please
/
Bicycle hill, oh
Bicycle hill. Going up
Takes me forever.
/
Oh, Department Store
Did I even need to go
In you? I guess not
/
What the fuck are those
Little bumps you jump over?
What the fuck is that?
/
One-hundred-and-fif-
ty was good enough. why the
hell are there now more?
/
/
Tapping A skips text
you must use it with great care
Kill replaced with Leer
/
Headaches all the time
Also, I'm a yellow duck
Life is misery
/
ditto, shapeshifter
I can't tell myself from you
you're biting my style

/
schoolyard fantasies
the electronic children
have missingno dreams
/
if you stand at lake,
in the safari zone, you
can fish forever.
/
My dearest Misty
I use harden at your sight
but not on purpose
/
the bike music plays
oh god, a fucking snorlax
get out of my way

/
I finally got
all one hundred and fifty
oh god i'm a nerd

/
Avoid eye contact!
If they see you, they will fight.
You have no hp.
/
If team rocket is
the evil force they claim, why
don't they pull some guns?
/
Onxy, and other
big pokemon help compen-
sate my tiny dick
/
is it a nibble?
no. fuck. no. fuck. no. fuck. no
so much for fishing.
/
I Swear, Magikarp,
You will get respect and girls,
at level 15.
/
Dear Team Rocket,
Your focus on ratatta
will be the death of you
/
Zapdos, you son of
a bitch; do I have to waste
my master ball now?
/
Yipe! Who might you be?
Perhaps some fantastic beast?
Oh, it's a zubat.

/
I'm sorry Squirtle
but the polls are in, and the
ladies don't love you
/
Beat the Elite Four
Get into the hall of fame
What? There's five? Oh fuck
/
The glow incases
but the dilemma remains:
press B, or evolve?
/
I go to collect
I will catch them all someday
I have no father
/
Note to Jigglypuff:
What are you supposed to be?
Some sort of pillow?

/
Splash Splash, Splishy Splash,
What's that? A little raindrop?
Geodude is dead.

/
It is Christmas Day
Stupid Grandma bought me
a Pokemon Snap

/
If Kadabra Has
strong mind controls, why does he
get back in the ball?
/
Tangela, my sweet
Kiss me and embrace me with
Your kinky bondage
/
Of all the monsters
Present in this world, Fearow,
Hitler would choose you.
/
Tangela then Seal?
Or was it Pikachu? oh.
fuck the poke-rap
/
Squirtle, I choose you
As my starting pokemon
Lead me to glory!
/
Raticate is lame
I wish I could break its teeth
use bite on Onyx
/
Cubone, dear Cubone
I'm to understand that is
Your dead mother's skull?
/
A world where monsters
are free to fight and kill us
is god truly dead?
/
Swimming endlessly
Peaceful blue waves, swimmers too
Where the fuck am I?
/
Did Bill really turn
himself into a poke?
Or was it just drag?
/
Please, police help me!
Parasect won't stop calling
And he knows I'm here!
/
So I catch dragons?
And these ghosts go in this ball?
Am I playing God?

/
Clefairy uses
metronome, Explosion is cast
TKO, you fail
/
Why did my rival's
Sister give me his map? Should
We go bump uglies?
/
Taming Rapidash
Glorious mount of kings
Ouch, hands are burning.
/
Latter Pokemon
Why did I purchase you, friend
In my heady youth
/
Likitung, good sir
You are staring at my crotch
Please stop this business

/
Drowzy lost a limb!
The pokecentre will fix
With annoying song
/
Porygon, you suck.
I spent hours just buying
coins to get you. Fuck.
/
Kangashkahn, tell me
the truth; is Geodude the
father of your brat?
/
Stupid Kakuna
Nobody wants to catch you
Go harden and die

/
Jynx, what don't you get?
Just like omanite, you should
be fucking extinct
/
You got a Snorlax
In that tiny pokeball
without crushing it?
/
Just imagine, how
many people would die each
year, from Onyx bites.
/
If there is a god,
and He is fair and just, I
will catch a Chancey
/
Pokemon: fascist?
There are many policemen
There are no courtrooms

/
No experience.
Nature's way of telling you,
Stop killing Pidgey

/
Pokemon: fascist?
Great Man defeats all the rest
And is made Master

/
Oh fuck. Ohh fuck.
Ohfuckohfuckohfuckoh
I forgot to save.
/
Dear Scyther: For all
of the Shit I had to go
through, you aren't worth it.
/
No, I don't want to
Read about Lapras in some
Erotic fiction
/
It seems like i'm fucked
one hp, Kingler remains
Fissure wins my badge
/
The fact that four teens
can write this many poke
haikus is scary
/
Underneath the cute
Pokemon is made of math
This is unsettling
/
I often wonder
at night, what pokemon would
God choose to battle?
/
need to evolve?
walk through a dense forest bush
kill the Metapods

/
Hey, the bald fat man
He's goddamn everywhere
Like a jell-o friend

/
They all look the same
Fresh young pokemon nurses
Brock likes that a lot.
/
Indigo Plateau
Is Just a Metaphor, for
where the drag-queen's dance
/
Doesn't Misty think?
She could keep her badge if she
let you get to first. (base)
/
this is not the first
erotic misty in these
pokemon haikus
/
Trading brings results
Perhaps even a Machamp
But you have no friends

/
Who care's that i'm al-
most twenty? It's still great to
play on long road trips
/
If I needed a
Silph Scope to fight ghosts, why can
Lass do it now? Fuck.
/
What is going on?
This is magic cockfighting
And I am a child!
/
Yellow, green, blue, red
Crystal, Sapphire, Ruby
Fuck you Nintendo.
/
A card game for fools
So much money I wasted
Fuck you, Pokemon.
/
Holy crap, There are so many.
A collection of pokemon haiku
/
Oh Shit, the silph scope
forgotten in bill's pc
Lavender awaits.
/
Oh, Emo Eevee
Your myspace claims different, but
you are just normal.
/
Mewtwo, you look like
A human, but you are now
My animal slave
/
One time, Mr. Mime
touched me. over and over.
the shame will remain.
/
A. A. A. A. A.
I still haven't found any
Shit in this tunnel.
/
Mewtwo, my master
ball took Zapdos, so you
will never be mine
/
oh, joy upon joy
rare candy is found! Koffing,
level-up right now!
/
Pikachu, wears hats:
The most important thing in
Super Smash Brothers
/
Yu-Gi-Oh, Digi-
mon, and any other rip-
offs, hear this: fuck you
/
Bowie, In his
androgynous glory, would
choose Mr. Mime each time
/
Persian Scratched! You don't
know where it's been. Here comes AIDS,
killing you softly
/
This lab is burnt down
Men may have died in this place
Is no one alarmed?

/
You found max potion
In the middle of the road
no-one else wants it
/
You have caught them all
There is no reward for you
CONGRATULATIONS!

/
Re-animated,
Old fossils spring back to life.
Thank you, Viagra
/
If they aren't vegans
I shudder to think about
the Pokemon land
/
Oh, whom shall I choose?
Hitmonchan or Hitmonlee?
It doesn't matter.
/
Fucking Wrap. I hope
It just hits twice. I'm not scared,
but it's just boooring.
/
Does the meat of a
Dewgong, taste sweeter if you
killed with Ratatta?
/
Voltorb, Electrode
Why even continue on?
Suicide's your choice
/
Poison is good, but
toxic is so much better.
Koga, I thank thee
/
Ash and Gary do
it. A fan fiction told me so.
and those NEVER lie
/
Goldy, you are weird.
I caught you while fishing, and
you use PECK on me?
/
Swimmer, I don't like
Your prominent speedo-bulge
Put on some pants please
/
Bicycle hill, oh
Bicycle hill. Going up
Takes me forever.
/
Oh, Department Store
Did I even need to go
In you? I guess not
/
What the fuck are those
Little bumps you jump over?
What the fuck is that?
/
One-hundred-and-fif-
ty was good enough. why the
hell are there now more?
/
/
Tapping A skips text
you must use it with great care
Kill replaced with Leer
/
Headaches all the time
Also, I'm a yellow duck
Life is misery
/
ditto, shapeshifter
I can't tell myself from you
you're biting my style

/
schoolyard fantasies
the electronic children
have missingno dreams
/
if you stand at lake,
in the safari zone, you
can fish forever.
/
My dearest Misty
I use harden at your sight
but not on purpose
/
the bike music plays
oh god, a fucking snorlax
get out of my way

/
I finally got
all one hundred and fifty
oh god i'm a nerd

/
Avoid eye contact!
If they see you, they will fight.
You have no hp.
/
If team rocket is
the evil force they claim, why
don't they pull some guns?
/
Onxy, and other
big pokemon help compen-
sate my tiny dick
/
is it a nibble?
no. fuck. no. fuck. no. fuck. no
so much for fishing.
/
I Swear, Magikarp,
You will get respect and girls,
at level 15.
/
Dear Team Rocket,
Your focus on ratatta
will be the death of you
/
Zapdos, you son of
a bitch; do I have to waste
my master ball now?
/
Yipe! Who might you be?
Perhaps some fantastic beast?
Oh, it's a zubat.

/
I'm sorry Squirtle
but the polls are in, and the
ladies don't love you
/
Beat the Elite Four
Get into the hall of fame
What? There's five? Oh fuck
/
The glow incases
but the dilemma remains:
press B, or evolve?
/
I go to collect
I will catch them all someday
I have no father
/
Note to Jigglypuff:
What are you supposed to be?
Some sort of pillow?

/
Splash Splash, Splishy Splash,
What's that? A little raindrop?
Geodude is dead.

/
It is Christmas Day
Stupid Grandma bought me
a Pokemon Snap

/
If Kadabra Has
strong mind controls, why does he
get back in the ball?
/
Tangela, my sweet
Kiss me and embrace me with
Your kinky bondage
/
Of all the monsters
Present in this world, Fearow,
Hitler would choose you.
/
Tangela then Seal?
Or was it Pikachu? oh.
fuck the poke-rap
/
Squirtle, I choose you
As my starting pokemon
Lead me to glory!
/
Raticate is lame
I wish I could break its teeth
use bite on Onyx
/
Cubone, dear Cubone
I'm to understand that is
Your dead mother's skull?
/
A world where monsters
are free to fight and kill us
is god truly dead?
/
Swimming endlessly
Peaceful blue waves, swimmers too
Where the fuck am I?
/
Did Bill really turn
himself into a poke?
Or was it just drag?
/
Please, police help me!
Parasect won't stop calling
And he knows I'm here!
/
So I catch dragons?
And these ghosts go in this ball?
Am I playing God?

/
Clefairy uses
metronome, Explosion is cast
TKO, you fail
/
Why did my rival's
Sister give me his map? Should
We go bump uglies?
/
Taming Rapidash
Glorious mount of kings
Ouch, hands are burning.
/
Latter Pokemon
Why did I purchase you, friend
In my heady youth
/
Likitung, good sir
You are staring at my crotch
Please stop this business

/
Drowzy lost a limb!
The pokecentre will fix
With annoying song
/
Porygon, you suck.
I spent hours just buying
coins to get you. Fuck.
/
Kangashkahn, tell me
the truth; is Geodude the
father of your brat?
/
Stupid Kakuna
Nobody wants to catch you
Go harden and die

/
Jynx, what don't you get?
Just like omanite, you should
be fucking extinct
/
You got a Snorlax
In that tiny pokeball
without crushing it?
/
Just imagine, how
many people would die each
year, from Onyx bites.
/
If there is a god,
and He is fair and just, I
will catch a Chancey
/
Pokemon: fascist?
There are many policemen
There are no courtrooms

/
No experience.
Nature's way of telling you,
Stop killing Pidgey

/
Pokemon: fascist?
Great Man defeats all the rest
And is made Master

/
Oh fuck. Ohh fuck.
Ohfuckohfuckohfuckoh
I forgot to save.
/
Dear Scyther: For all
of the Shit I had to go
through, you aren't worth it.
/
No, I don't want to
Read about Lapras in some
Erotic fiction
/
It seems like i'm fucked
one hp, Kingler remains
Fissure wins my badge
/
The fact that four teens
can write this many poke
haikus is scary
/
Underneath the cute
Pokemon is made of math
This is unsettling
/
I often wonder
at night, what pokemon would
God choose to battle?
/
need to evolve?
walk through a dense forest bush
kill the Metapods

/
Hey, the bald fat man
He's goddamn everywhere
Like a jell-o friend

/
They all look the same
Fresh young pokemon nurses
Brock likes that a lot.
/
Indigo Plateau
Is Just a Metaphor, for
where the drag-queen's dance
/
Doesn't Misty think?
She could keep her badge if she
let you get to first. (base)
/
this is not the first
erotic misty in these
pokemon haikus
/
Trading brings results
Perhaps even a Machamp
But you have no friends

/
Who care's that i'm al-
most twenty? It's still great to
play on long road trips
/
If I needed a
Silph Scope to fight ghosts, why can
Lass do it now? Fuck.
/
What is going on?
This is magic cockfighting
And I am a child!
/
Yellow, green, blue, red
Crystal, Sapphire, Ruby
Fuck you Nintendo.
/
A card game for fools
So much money I wasted
Fuck you, Pokemon.
/
Holy crap, There are so many.