Ever Wonder Why We're Here?
Summary: lvsinsanity's request. Perhaps not quite what she had in mind, but it's what sparked in my mind when she made it. Nothing like drunken confessions to make for awkward fucking.
"Tex liked being on top. I didn't much care, so long as I was getting laid." Church was never one to mince words. He got straight to the point. He closed his eyes and sunk into the bed a bit further.
"She could work it, though; could really take me all the way and leave me exhausted. Then when I'd fall asleep she'd usually empty my wallet before leaving." However, rarely was he ever this open about his life, or especially about Tex. Large amounts of alcohol had helped with that.
"It wasn't entirely her fault," he explained, as if he needed some excuse to hold to for his own sake. "She'd probably have been diagnosed nympho if she'd ever seen a counselor. I just couldn't keep up with her drive."
The other nodded politely, just to acknowledge he was listening. He didn't really have anything to say.
Church's voice dropped a little as he continued, getting a little closer to the deeper feelings he held. "At least I knew she always came to me first. She'd stay until I was asleep, too. I never admitted how much that meant to me." He sighed and shifted a little, uncomfortable as he spoke yet not quite willing to stop.
"She cheated, but only because she was driven to, not because she didn't care," he explained. But who was he trying to convince? Himself or... Church wasn't even positive she hadn't fucked half of Project Freelancer after she'd joined up. "Or maybe that's just what I tell myself. It was hard, pretending it didn't bother me. Still, she did always come to me first." Or she had, back then.
Church unconsciously tightened his arms around the other man, like a child clutching a teddy bear for comfort. He exhaled slowly and let his nostalgia continue to flow through him. It felt good to be held in return, too. Felt good to have someone's fingers slide through his hair, caress his chest. It felt good to just lay and talk, though he'd never admit it. It was something he had rarely ever been able to do with Tex. "We'd usually lay for a while, then. I'd just run my hands on her body. God, she had an amazing body! I couldn't get enough of it. When I was able to get hard again, she'd do it all over. Ride me till she was screaming and I was filling her. I could usually go about three times before I'd be out cold."
Church stopped for a moment, wondering if maybe he shouldn't be saying this. It did seem a little awkward to be telling your new lover all the things you loved and missed about your old. Especially since they had never technically broken up. Oh, they hadn't gotten married for various reasons, but they had never actually split.
"Drinking was hit and miss. I could go longer when I was drunk, but it would usually take me longer to get it up again." He chuckled a little. He probably hadn't needed to mention that, the other doubtless knew quite well exactly the effects alcohol had on him. "She could really put away the whiskey, though. I kinda liked it when she was drunk. She tended to stay longer, would pass out half the time. About the only chance I had to wake up with her still there was if she was plastered."
He fell quiet again and wondered if that was one of the only things that continued to draw him here night after night. He knew he would always wake up with someone still beside him. He knew the warmth of a lover's body would always be there in the morning.
"God I loved that, though. Feeling her in the morning. Having sex right off. I'd wake up hard as a post and be inside her before she was even awake. She loved it, though; loved waking up to me fucking her."
"I think I'd like that myself," he murmured softly, tracing his fingers across Church's chest. Church seemed to have not heard him, or rather, was so focused on what he wanted to say, he didn't let the reply distract him.
"So it was both a shock but also a little expected when I walked in and found her fucking Tucker."
The other paused, as if suddenly understanding a whole lot of things. He swallowed, and softly murmured, "And that's why you came to me, isn't it?"
Church looked away, not willing to meet his gaze. "Maybe." There had been more to it than that, of course. A lot more, but that was kind of the crux of their situation.
"I can't say I'm not bothered by it. But... well, you're still here, so I guess I can't complain, either."
"Yeah," Church mumbled. "Yeah, I'm still here."
"Don't stop dreaming cuz this ain't over; Wreck of you life, aim til you get sober"
That drew his attention back. "What?"
"Nothin, just... just a song I've got stuck in my head."
They fell into silence again. Church had run out of his ramblings and Simmons was rather grateful for that. He wasn't sure he wanted to listen to any more of them right now. He had to admit, though, Church's arms still held him tight, his chin still rested lightly against the top of his head, and every so often, his hand would twitch a little and rub at his back comfortingly.
And, of course, they fucked. That was nice. But it was nice to think that it wasn't solely because Tex was a slut and Church was looking to get back at her for it. It was nice to think that maybe Church had really developed feelings for him, and enjoyed being here as much as he did.
Simmons figured one of these days he might ramble on about Grif and explain to Church exactly how he had ended up here, but that was not going to be tonight. One earth-shattering revelation was enough for the evening, and if they both confessed their ulterior motives for the predicament they found themselves in, who knows what that might lead to. Simmons was not ready to let this go, even if it was a carefully preserved lie on both their parts. Besides, it was easier to blame it on Sarge... the tank. It was easier to pretend he was here because he wanted to be, rather than because he wasn't wanted at Red Base.
Instead, he let his hand slip down beneath the covers, a little smile on his lips as Church moaned softly in response and lifted his hips. Yeah. Simmons knew exactly how alcohol affected Church, and it was just about time to start again. Nothing like some angsty sex to follow up with knowing you might well be in your lover's bed only because their lover wasn't.
Church never opened his eyes as he sought out Simmons's lips and pulled him into a rough, needy kiss. They both knew why Church was here, and that being the case, might as well get on with it. Again. Even if it was going to be a little awkward for a while. They'd both get over it, and get on with their night, and maybe in the morning, if Simmons was really lucky, he might just wake up to Church fucking him. If Simmons was really lucky, he might be able to convince himself he was a Blue now, and fucking his superior was exactly what he had always secretly wanted anyway.