Fic: Put the Heartbeat Back Inside (Part Six)
The house is really lovely. They are definitely still well outside of Orlando proper. There’s lots of green and marshland, and they have to drive down a dirt road only sparsely littered with homes to get to Jared’s aunts’ place. There isn’t another house for half a mile in either direction. There’s a fence around the property and a gate at the front but it isn’t closed and is less functional than it is decorative. The residence itself is large, painted a soft, mossy green. It’s a bungalow but it has a huge double car garage and tall, vaulted ceilings in the entryway. The grass is cut and the hedgerow is meticulously trimmed. Jensen figures they must have someone looking in on it while they’re away.
Jared’s face softens as he points it out to Jensen and they pull into the drive. After everything that’s happened since Jared met him, this is familiar territory. This is a family home, somewhere he knows and feels safe, and Jensen’s heart aches a little. He wants that for himself, and he wants to be that for Jared, too, not just the person disrupting Jared’s entire life.
Jared turns and smiles at him from the passenger seat before getting out of the car and Jensen manages to smile back, even though he’s thinking about how he’s about to leave Jared here - Jared, who’s the closest thing to family and home that Jensen knows.
Jared is easily the most relaxed that Jensen has seen him as he walks toward the house. Jensen grabs their bag out of the back seat just because it’s safest in their immediate possession and walks over to where Jared is.
“There’s a key around back,” Jared explains, still smiling easily. “C’mon.”
Jensen doesn’t mention that he could easily get them inside without it and instead he takes Jared's hand and just tries not to hold on too tightly as he follows Jared around the house. He observes the property, the way it’s covered by the deliberate border of trees, and the probably swampy fields that stretch out on the other side. He mentally tallies up the number and location of the windows and doors.
They step up onto the large deck and Jared contemplates the row of potted plants along the wall before lifting the middle one and looking pleased to find the key underneath on his first try. He unlocks the back door and leads Jensen inside.
It’s as lovely inside as it is out. The space is big and open, welcoming, warmly dressed and absolutely a place for big family gatherings. Jared slows down once he gets inside and looks at Jensen like he’s remembered that it’s Jensen’s intention to leave him here, that this means goodbye for now.
“Jensen…” he starts talking like he isn’t sure what he wants to say, is maybe talking just for the sake of it, and Jensen understands. He feels the same way - anything to put off what’s coming. Just as Jensen is about to say as much, Jared opens his mouth again.
“I’ll, um, show you the kitchen.” He takes Jensen’s hand and leads him farther into the house. Jensen entertains it because he’s no more keen to leave than Jared is to stay, but he won’t linger long. He doesn’t want to make this harder than it needs to be and, more importantly, doesn’t want to keep putting Jared in danger.
Jensen follows Jared into the kitchen. When Jared reaches the big breakfast bar in the middle he turns around and looks a little sheepish, like this is it, he guesses. Jensen looks apologetic as he smiles back at him and he can see that Jared is starting to scramble.
“Jen, wait- come here,” he pulls Jensen close while he leans against the counter, encouraging Jensen to step into the open vee of his legs and lean against him, and who is Jensen to say no to that.
He obliges, pressing their hips together as Jared laces his fingers together on the back of Jensen’s neck. Jared burrows his face in Jensen’s neck, at his shoulder, and starts kissing him.
“Jay…” Jensen groans a little, slides his hands along Jared’s arms and tucks his face into Jared’s neck, too.
“I know,” Jared agrees between kisses. “I know, Jensen. Just- one more minute, okay? Please.”
Jensen sighs like he’s put upon even though he’s more than happy to take the extra time. He kisses Jared’s neck, too, relishing when Jared whimpers a little and tilts his head to give him better access. He follows the line to Jared’s jaw and just as he’s about to kiss his lips his eyes glance up and land on two big suitcases in front of the bed in the master bedroom off to their left. He freezes and Jared notices immediately.
“Jensen? What’s wrong?”
“Jared, are you absolutely sure that-” Jensen is about ask about how vacant this place is when there is a rumble of tires on the driveway outside. Jared turns around in Jensen’s arms and they both look out the big kitchen windows to see a black truck driving up the lane. Jensen immediately and without thinking grabs for the gun at the small of his back, his other hand tightening on Jared’s arm and tugging him down below the counter out of sight.
“Whoa! Jensen, it- it’s fine. It’s just my aunt!” Jared wrestles out of his grip and gets them both standing back up. He gives Jensen first a shocked and then a pointed look when he spies the gun in Jensen’s hand.
Jensen shrugs - how is he supposed to know that? And besides, it’s up to him to make sure Jared stays safe - and tucks the gun away.
They stand there watching as the two women step down from the truck, holding the door open to let a big German shepherd hop out of the backseat, too. One of the women has short, dark hair and the other is a long, wavy blonde. They’re both wearing colourful plaid shirts rolled to their elbows and have armfuls of grocery bags. Jensen doesn’t miss the look they share when they see his and Jared’s car parked in front of the garage. Both women look instantly more alert, cautious even, as they approach the front door.
“How are we playing this, Jared?” Jensen hisses, keeping his eyes on the newcomers until they pass out of view and then they’re trying the door handle. Still locked, Jensen listens to the muffled jingle of keys.
“Just- follow my lead, okay? They’re good people, it’s going to be fine,” Jared whispers back, waiting, and while he sounds sure, Jensen isn’t sure he realizes how tightly his fist is squeezing the back of Jensen’s shirt.
Jensen isn’t concerned that they’re not nice people - he has no doubt they are - it’s because they’re nice that he worries. Same as with Jared. The fact that they’re about to actually cross paths puts them in the same kind of danger that Jared is already in. Because of Jensen.
The key turns in the lock and both women lean forward through the opening door, casting thorough looks across their foyer. When their eyes find Jared and Jensen walking towards them from the kitchen, they blink in surprise.
“Hi Aunt Kim,” Jared waves and even from where he stands behind him Jensen can tell he’s got a sheepish look on his face. “Briana, hi.”
“Jared, what-? Oh my god!” Kim recovers from her obvious shock quickly and Briana does the same. Both women hurry to put down their groceries and then Kim is scooping Jared into a huge hug. The dog is pawing at Jared’s leg, tail wagging and whining excitedly. Jensen stands back, letting them have their reunion.
“Well, hi, baby! What a surprise! It’s been way too long, what with you off being a smarty pants so far away, jeez.”
Jared huffs a laugh and squeezes Briana just as tightly as his aunt when she finally lets him go.
“It’s really good to see you, Jared,” she says against his shoulder.
“Yeah, it’s great to see you both, too,” Jared answers, petting the dog with one hand and then slides the other through his hair and rubs at the back of his neck. Jensen can tell that he’s a little nervous. “Sorry we didn’t call first… I honestly… didn’t expect to see you.”
Jared looks back at Jensen and then down at his feet, anywhere but his aunt’s face, and Jensen notes how pink his cheeks get. Kim raises an eyebrow and looks Jensen up and down. A sly smile spreads on her face that only grows when she shares a knowing glance with her wife.
“Uh huh, I see how it is,” Kim is grinning now. “Sorry our vacation spoiled your romantic getaway, kiddo.”
Jared splutters, trying to say something but not about to argue - it’s best they think that’s all this is - and Kim and Briana just laugh.
“So, you going to introduce us to your handsome friend or are we going to let him be your mysterious shadow all night?” Briana teases, looking flirty as she extends her hand in Jensen’s direction.
Jensen is the one blushing now and he lets out a small, embarrassed laugh as he shakes Briana’s hand.
“Oh, god, sorry, yeah,” Jared groans and brings a palm up to his forehead. “Kim, Briana, this is Jensen. Jensen, my aunt Kim and her wife Briana. Oh, and the dog is Jack.”
Jack is sitting right next to Jared, pressed up against his leg while Jared scratches behind his ear, tongue hanging out and looking pretty pleased with the attention.
“Call me Bri,” she adds as she lets Jensen’s hand go.
“It’s lovely to meet you both,” Jensen offers politely, now taking Kim’s hand, and he feels the weight of her assessing gaze.
“Likewise,” Kim replies. When their hands are free, she and Briana bend to retrieve their bags. “It’s quite a pleasant surprise, actually. Jared’s never really talked about anyone before, much less introduced them.”
Jared groans again, even more anguished. “Kim,” he whines. His aunts just laugh.
“Let me help with those,” Jensen deflects, taking the groceries and bringing them into the kitchen. Kim and Briana share an approving look.
“Jared told you we’re both cops, right? His parents may be soft, academic types like he is but us you’ve got to watch out for.” Kim winks at him so Jensen knows she’s just teasing but it has the desired effect on Jared apparently because when he doubles over and hides his face against his forearms on the counter, Briana skips a step delightedly.
“So how long are you going to be staying then?” Briana asks as she starts unpacking the food. “You know you’re welcome for however long you like, even if you weren’t counting on us being here.”
“Um,” Jared starts, biting his lip. He looks over at Jensen and Jensen purses his lips and shakes his head, subtle, apologetic. “We’re just passing through, actually. So we’ll be moving on, um, tomorrow.”
Jared keeps his eyes on Jensen as he speaks, making sure he’s got it right as he explains, much to Kim and Briana’s obvious disappointment.
“We don’t see you for ages and our surprise visit is outrageously short. You’re breaking my heart, baby,” Kim dramatically sighs, placing both hands on her chest.
Jared ducks down and his hair falls over his face when he laughs. Jensen is completely enthralled watching him right now, seeing him so unguarded and natural with his family like this. He’s rubbing at the back of his neck again when he meets Kim’s eyes next.
“But- well, you get to meet Jensen, at least,” he shrugs a little and his cheeks are pink again and Jensen loves it.
“Hm,” Kim hums, considering, as she puts milk into the fridge. “That is true. In that case, I guess I can forgive you.” She closes the fridge door and gives Jared a quick kiss on the cheek as she walks by him.
“Well, you boys are in time to help with dinner,” Kim continues. “Has Jensen had the tour yet, Jared?”
Jared shakes his head. “Nah, we got here just before you guys.”
“Well, you can follow me then, Jensen,” Briana chimes in. “We’ll get yours and Jared’s room all made up, too. We’ll be right back, babe.”
Briana puts a hand on Kim’s shoulder where she’s at the counter setting up a cutting board and stands on her tiptoes to give her a quick kiss. Then she smiles and waves Jensen along.
Jared looks apologetic but Jensen just smiles and shrugs before following after Briana. Jensen feels like he’s done nothing but run since he left the bank in Mexico. They may not be staying long but while they’re here, Jensen is going to enjoy every simple moment.
---
Dinner is delicious. Briana brings out wine and everyone is relaxed. Jared was a little anxious to start. He’s really never brought anyone ‘home’ before and he’s never seen Jensen interact with anyone like this before. Jensen is a little quiet but Kim and Briana are loud and fun and encouraging and by the time the wine is being refilled even Jensen is laughing and loosening up. Jared aches for this. He doesn’t know how long it will be until they’re safe enough to have it, but if anything, this has confirmed for him it’s worth every unknown second.
Jensen’s cheeks are a little warm from the wine, a soft shade of pink, and he laughs so freely now. Kim and Briana are always a hoot and Jensen keeps throwing his body back when he loses it, his eyes crinkling deep at the corners and sometimes he even stomps his foot under the table, startling Jack where he’s curled up at their feet. It’s the most beautiful Jared has ever seen him and really, that’s saying something, because Jensen is already breathtaking.
Darkness has set in outside. The lights in the dining room are low and warm, dinner has been done for a while but the conversation is easy and they’re into their third bottle of wine while they keep talking. Jared is sure that Jensen has heard more than he ever bargained for about Jared’s many misadventures as the tall, lanky, bookish son of two serious academics, but Jensen keeps looking at him with this softness , and, for all the embarrassment, Jared is kind of okay with it.
“Well,” Kim stretches in her seat, stifling a yawn. “It’s starting to get late. Clean up at least. C’mon, Jared.”
Jared immediately starts stacking plates and Jensen pushes back his chair to stand up and help, too.
“Ah, ah, ah. Not you, Jensen. You’re a guest. Sit your ass back down. Jared and I have it looked after.”
Jensen laughs a little but when Jared holds his gaze, silently making sure he’s okay on his own with Bri, Jensen only smiles wider and sits back down as instructed. Jared isn’t worried.
“Oh, stow that face, Jared,” Briana laughs, reaching for the wine. “He’ll be fine. I won’t bite, I promise.” She winks and adds a little more to Jensen’s glass. Jared rolls his eyes and laughs, too, following Kim into the kitchen with armfuls of dishes, leaving only their glasses and the collection of bottles on the table.
The kitchen feels quiet compared to their boisterous conversation but Jared smiles to himself when he hears Briana and Jensen laughing from the other room.
“So you got it real bad, huh.” Kim is grinning at him as she opens the dishwasher. Jared blinks and puts his stacks of dishes down on the counter.
“W-what?” He can’t help but stutter out, tucking a loose piece of hair behind his ear as he meets his aunt’s eyes. She just raises an eyebrow.
“Oh, please.” She rests a hand on her hip and the other on Jared’s shoulder. “I see the way you look at him. And you grinning like a lovesick puppy when he’s laughing in there? You’re not subtle, sweetheart.”
Jared’s had enough wine to drink that his face is already warm but he feels it burn that much hotter when he fails to hold in a honest-to-God giggle.
“Yeah, he-” Jared isn’t sure what he wants to say. Jensen is so many things and a lot of words that really don’t feel like they mean anything enough. “I guess I do.”
He settles for agreeing with his aunt and starts loading the dishwasher. She watches him a moment, thoughtful, before she starts to do the same.
“Well, I’m glad. It’s really good to see you happy, baby. We worry about you, you know. All alone in Mexico, buried in your books.”
“Hey,” Jared protests. “I’m not alone . I’ve got Gen-” Kim gives him a look that says you know what we mean “-and what’s wrong with my books? My parents already had their PhDs at my age. I’m already behind.”
“Yeah, except, your parents also already had each other at your age, Jared. They did all this together. We just… want you to find someone you can share that with, you know? Jensen… he seems really great. Like, maybe, he could be that person? I mean- the way you look at him - he looks at you just the same, you know that?”
Jared smiles warmly to himself.
“We, uh, we haven’t been together a long time, you know? Everything has happened kind of fast but… Kim, I’ve never felt this way about anyone.” Jared pauses for just a beat before sucking in a breath and whispering what’s been hovering in his mind since the first time Jensen kissed him. “I- I love him.”
Kim closes the dishwasher and stands in front of him a moment looking genuinely touched before giving him a big hug.
“I’m so happy for you, baby,” Kim kisses his cheek when she lets him go. “Now let's go haul our other halves off to bed, yeah?”
She wanders back towards the dining room and Jared follows.
“You just keep it down in there tonight, okay?” Kim adds loudly as she approaches the table, winking, and Jared looks scandalized.
“ Kim ,” he groans and Briana bursts out laughing, clapping her hands even. When Jared opens his eyes again, Jensen is laughing, too. It makes Jared feel a little like he’s floating. Or, maybe that’s the wine. He figures it’s probably both.
Jensen and Briana both get up from the table and move towards them. Briana tucks right under Kim’s extended arm and Jensen reaches around Jared’s waist. Jared can’t help the way he instinctively leans into Jensen’s body.
“Thank you for the excellent dinner, ladies. And the wine,” Jensen says appreciatively.
“You’re so welcome. We’re glad you were here to join us. You’re not allowed to leave before you say goodbye tomorrow, okay? Breakfast together first,” Kim says very seriously.
“We absolutely insist!” Briana adds.
“Wouldn’t dream of skipping out on you like that,” Jensen promises. “We’ll see you in the morning.”
“Goodnight, guys,” Kim says as she and Briana turn to walk away to their room.
Jared leans a little more heavily into Jensen as soon as they’re alone and Jensen squeezes his waist. They walk slowly to their bedroom and Jared is, admittedly, a little bit drunk. He always has been a bit of a lightweight and not a huge drinker so the wine has been more than enough. He’s got his fingers wiggling under the waistband of Jensen’s jeans and he’s giggling into Jensen’s shoulder by the time Jensen is closing the door to their room behind them.
“So you’re a bit tipsy, huh?” Jensen pokes quietly as he turns back to Jared, a sly smile spreading on his face that makes Jared feel equal parts embarrassed and excited. Jensen reaches for Jared’s hands to get them out of his pants - Jared whines - and pulls them to his chest.
“I might be a little,” Jared concedes, laughing as Jensen tugs him close and he stumbles into Jensen’s body. “You’re not?”
“Nah,” Jensen answers, sounding amused. “Not so much.”
Jared scoffs and tries to get his hands back. Jensen is walking them backwards toward the bed and Jared is definitely not coordinated enough for that. Jared starts to lose his balance and Jensen starts laughing at him but then he’s got Jared’s one hand up like they’re dancing and his other hand slips around Jared’s back to grab solidly at his waist. Jared relaxes into Jensen’s grip and lets Jensen keep him steady until the backs of his legs hit the mattress. Instead of pushing Jared back, Jensen turns and sits down himself, his hands sliding reassuringly over Jared’s body, settling on his hips.
Jared loves how Jensen looks right now, the way he looks up at him through his lashes and how green his eyes are even in the dark, the devilish grin on his face. He rests his hands on Jensen’s shoulders, on the slope of his neck.
“How is that-” Jared starts to ask but he gets distracted by Jensen leaning forward and nosing at his stomach, pressing warm, open-mouthed kisses there through his shirt.
“How is that what?” Jensen mumbles against Jared’s body and Jared blinks, tries hard to grasp at the fraying threads of his thoughts even as Jensen keeps pulling at them with his mouth.
“Um,” Jared swallows and holds onto Jensen a little tighter. “F-fair. I was gonna say- how is it fair you’re not-”
Jared gasps, digging his fingers into the flesh of Jensen’s neck. Jensen has pushed up Jared’s shirt with his thumbs and chooses that moment to start licking at the newly exposed plane of skin. The muscle is smooth and wet, teasing as it moves on him, tasting him, and Jared can’t think of anything else. Jensen closes his mouth and starts to suck at Jared’s hipbone and Jared groans. Loudly.
“Jay,” Jensen breaks off, laughing under his breath. “You gotta be quiet, baby. Remember?”
Jensen reaches up and presses a finger to Jared’s lips like he’s shushing him; Jared can’t resist. He kisses Jensen’s finger and then sucks it into his mouth.
“ Jay ,” Jensen moans softly, dropping his forehead to Jared’s hip even as he keeps his arm up, letting Jared do whatever he wants to the finger between his lips.
Jared’s stomach flutters at the broken timbre of Jensen’s voice and he smiles around Jensen’s finger, delighted to be the cause of that sound. He’s giving himself all kinds of ideas and want spikes through him hotly. His dick twitches against his zipper at his idea and he feels himself leak, his underwear wet in places against his skin; he’s wanted to do this since he first laid eyes on Jensen.
Jared wiggles his hips and moves closer so he’s tucked right in the open vee of Jensen’s legs. He drops clumsily to his knees, letting Jensen’s finger slip from his mouth, and anchors himself with his hands on Jensen’s thighs.
---
Jensen takes back his now spit-soaked finger and tries to remember to breathe when Jared drops to his knees in front of him. He can make out the wine-fed flush of Jared’s cheeks even in the dark, and Jared looks loose and devilish as he grins and fumbles for Jensen’s button and zipper.
Jensen thought he was in control of this - he’s the more sober one for chrissake - but the second Jared leans down and nuzzles into his lap, rubbing his face along the hard length of his dick, still in his pants, Jensen knows he’s losing it. He bites at his lip in a futile effort to keep in a moan but Jared is mouthing at him now, warm and making his jeans damp like a promise.
“Jay…” Jensen sighs his name and leans back, his arms behind him and his hands braced on the bed. Jared looks up at him through the curtain of his hair, smiling, and Jensen reaches to brush it back behind his ear even though he knows it won’t stay.
Jared opens Jensen’s unzipped pants and tugs suggestively at the waistband. Jensen puts his hand back down and pushes his hips up to let Jared pull his pants and underwear down and off. The air is cool on his exposed skin and his dick settles against his stomach when he sits back down, achingly hard for the tease of Jared’s fingers as they come back to him.
Jared holds him upright, his thumb stroking at the base while he looks over him with hungry eyes. Jensen feels tight all over and as though his entire body is straining to be all the more in Jared’s hands and absolutely in his mouth. When Jared licks his lips, Jensen twitches and feels precome bead up at the head of his dick. He can tell when Jared sees it, the way it glistens even in the dark; Jared whines and finally leans in. He leads with his tongue, easing the tip into Jensen’s slit to collect what Jensen’s giving up. He must like what he finds because he hums happily as he does it and Jensen may never recover from how Jared looks right now.
Jared kisses at Jensen’s tip then, almost chastely, and Jensen can’t resist sliding his hand into Jared’s hair. He doesn’t push or pull him - he’s more than happy to let Jared do what he wants - but he does pet at Jared while his kisses get messier. Jared’s lapping at him with broad swipes of his tongue, and when he finally opens his mouth to take in just the tip and hollow his cheeks, Jensen does moan, quiet and reedy. His eyes close instinctively as the sensation overwhelms him but then Jared eases up and starts to take him deeper before making a seal and sucking again. Jensen has to see it. His hand is gripping tight at Jared’s hair now, still not guiding him in any way but rather holding on so he doesn’t simply fly out of his skin. Jared’s lips are stretched around the thickness of him, slick with spit, his cheeks indented as he nurses from Jensen’s cock, and the sight is incendiary. Jensen groans again, brokenly and a little louder than he means to. Jared’s eyes flash up to his and he smiles around his mouthful looking pleased with himself. Spit drips from his mouth down Jensen’s shaft and Jared closes his hand loosely around the base of him. He takes Jensen back between his lips, as much as he can manage, and jacks the rest in time with the hot suck of his mouth. He finds a rhythm, bobbing subtly up and down on Jensen’s cock.
Jensen pants above him, his fingers still wound tightly in his hair, and uses every bit of self-control he can muster to not thrust up into Jared’s mouth. He’s not deepthroating him by any means but there’s nothing he’s doing that doesn’t feel completely amazing. Jensen doesn’t exactly have memories to compare it to but he suspects Jared would still outshine them if he did. Jared is enthusiastic and goes at Jensen like he’s been starving for it. He makes all these small, content sounds around Jensen’s dick, the vibrations registering somewhere deep in Jensen’s core, and Jensen can feel himself getting close.
“God, Jay,” Jensen tries to whisper but his voice is wrecked. “Jared- fuck . I’m so close, baby.”
Jared is only encouraged by this, moaning as he keeps sucking, hard, at Jensen’s cock. Jensen feels himself stiffen as it builds, his release right there , and then, like running towards a tripwire, his body suddenly shudders and he’s coming in Jared’s mouth. Jared swallows the first pulse and the next, he keeps at it, drinking it all down, but then Jensen is suddenly sure that Jared is coming, too. Jensen had been to preoccupied to realize Jared had been touching himself while sucking him off but looking for it now even in the wake of his own orgasm, he can see the steady, jerking movement of Jared’s other arm.
Jared grunts like all the air has been punched out of his lungs. His eyes slam shut and his mouth opens, stuttering and slack as he shakes apart at Jensen’s feet. The rest of Jensen’s come spills from his lips, gushing out from the corners of his mouth to drip down his spit-slick chin. Even as Jensen starts to soften where he rests on Jared’s abused lower lip, he can feel himself twitch because damn if Jared - flushed, with wild hair and looking absolutely well-fucked, spit and come smeared and splattered over his face - isn’t one of the hottest things he’s ever seen.
Jared finally relaxes when he’s spent and pants a moment, keeping his mouth open but starting to lick weakly at Jensen’s dick before closing his lips around it again. He sucks gently at him, wiggling the tip of his tongue back into the slit just to coax out every last drop and Jensen shivers under him, the aftershocks fading away and leaving him heavy and blissed out. He’s managed to ease up on the grip on Jared’s hair, too, and is back to petting him.
When Jared finally lets go of his dick, he lets it rest against Jensen’s thigh, wet with spit, and looks up at him. He’s wrecked; his lips are dark and swollen, the colour is still high in his cheeks, the corners of his eyes glisten and his hair - especially where Jensen’s hand was buried in it - is everywhere. His tongue darts out to lick at the corner of his mouth where he still has a mess of come but Jensen hums then and urges him up. Jared trembles as he gets up off his knees and Jensen keeps a hand out to steady him. He crawls backwards up the bed and Jared crawls up with him.
When Jensen’s head finds a pillow he gets his hand on Jared’s face and pulls him down so Jensen can kiss him quick and then lick him clean. Jared smiles while he does it and Jensen is thorough. He gets the tip of his tongue into Jared’s dimples and it makes Jared squirm a little, giggling because maybe it tickles or maybe he just finds the gesture as silly and sweet as Jensen does.
When Jensen is satisfied that Jared’s face is come-free, he kisses him again, slow and deep, gentle with Jared’s freshly-fucked mouth. He can feel Jared shake above him, wrung out and tired, so he breaks the kiss and eases Jared down into the space he makes next to him.
As he starts to lie down, Jared sighs, spent and happy. “I love you, Jensen.”
Jensen stills immediately. He knows that Jared feels it. Jared freezes, too, like maybe he didn’t mean to say it or it surprised him, too. Either way, he seems to stutter through his movements, almost awkward now as he makes his place to settle at Jensen’s side. Jensen stays silent and still while his brain and his heart do what feels like backflips or tailspins at incredible speeds. His mouth is shockingly dry and when he swallows next, it’s loud in the close quiet of the bed.
“Jared-” Jensen starts to speak but Jared clears his throat and interrupts him.
“No, don’t. It- it’s okay, I…” Jared’s voice is small but firm - resigned. He turns his face into Jensen’s body and hugs him a little tighter. “It’s late.”
Jensen shuts his eyes and internally curses himself. Why didn’t he just say it? It’s true - it is. He knows what this is, how he feels, why he’s dragging Jared through this even though every instinct in his body tells him he should’ve made Jared leave him back in Austin. It would have been safer but he’s selfish and wants Jared close, wants his company more than he wants to know his own history, but suddenly when Jared said it…
It made it real. All of it. This big feeling in his chest, how Jared warms him, and how if he fucks this up it’s not just Jared’s heart but his life in Jensen’s hands. He won’t be able to be selfish with Jared if- if… God, he’s been such a fool. And after everything they’ve been through together, after all the ways Jared has put himself on the line for him, Jared deserves to know that Jensen loves him. Of course he does. But somehow… that’s an admission. Not just of how Jensen feels but of that selfishness, the recklessness that’s kept Jared in danger. Jared deserves so much more than Jensen and what little he can offer but if he gives Jared his love, if he tells him they’re the same, that will be it. It will really be it, them, in it , sticking it out.
Jensen sighs, feeling stupid and lucky and cursed but determined. He loves Jared. He’ll tell him, he’ll leave him - do what he has to do to keep him safe - and however long it takes, he’ll come back to him and they’ll make the life they want. Jensen will do whatever while Jared finishes his degree, follow him wherever his academically-inclined heart desires. As long as he has that, has this, Jared , that’s all Jensen wants. Everything else is trivial.
He can feel Jared’s mouth slack against his chest and the warm, regular puff of breath that tells Jensen that he’s asleep. Jensen isn’t surprised, not with all the wine, but he gives Jared a gentle squeeze anyway and turns his head, nosing into Jared’s hair.
“Jared,” Jensen whispers, knowing Jared won’t hear him but still wanting to say it, just because it’s true. “I love you, too.”
---
Jared feels the soft press of lips to his forehead and then realizes the brightness behind his eyelids and blinks them open. The sun is up and so is Jensen, giving him a Tylenol and holding out a glass of water.
“‘Morning, sunshine,” he winks when Jared takes a minute and then chuckles as Jared reaches out blindly for the glass while trying to sit up.
Jared drains the cool liquid in one go, feeling refreshed and more awake when it’s gone.
“Thanks,” he croaks. Jensen sits down on the bed next to him, already dressed and looking as handsome as always while Jared can feel that his hair is all over the place. He puts the empty glass on the nightstand and runs his fingers through his hair.
“How ya feeling, Jay?” Jensen asks, taking Jared’s hand when he’s done fussing with his hair, which will just have to do as is.
“Okay, actually, considering I’m pretty sure I made a fool of myself a bit last night.” Jared looks at his hand where it’s under Jensen’s, not able to look at him right now. The wine definitely loosened him up last night but he was not that drunk; he remembers everything, from how wonderful it was to sit at the dinner table with his family and Jensen - how much he wants that for them - and how charming Jensen was, to the possibly sloppy, over-eager blow job he gave Jensen and the way he couldn’t keep his mouth shut when he cuddled up afterwards, didn’t stop himself from saying- well, yeah. That . And finally, he remembers with painful clarity how Jensen had tensed underneath him, how he had gone silent like Jared should have been the whole time.
Jensen’s thumb is moving across his hand but Jensen is still quiet and it makes Jared’s stomach plummet, a sick weight in his gut that’s heavy and twisting. It’s just like him to ruin this. He hasn’t been with anyone in almost two years, has been too busy, hasn’t been interested in having his heart broken, and his track record- well, his last boyfriend can’t really hold a candle to Jensen but Jared is no stranger to falling hard and fast and fucking it up.
Jared is so caught up in his own head that he doesn’t really notice Jensen shimmy closer until Jensen’s hand slides along his jaw and eases his face up so he has to look at him. He’s still smiling but there’s a softness and a shine to his eyes that makes Jared feel like Jensen knows what he’s thinking; it makes Jared’s face feel warm and his hands are shaking a little.
“Jared-”
“Jensen, we don’t have to talk about it. Please? Let’s just… forget about it, okay?” Jared is pleading when he interrupts him. It’s bad enough he blurted it out when it’s obvious Jensen doesn’t… but having Jensen explain why, that will only make it worse. They’re about to say goodbye and Jared is ruining the little time they have left together.
“No. I need you to listen,” Jensen answers and leans in to kiss him. Jared leans into it, the soft, welcome pressure of Jensen’s mouth.
“Will you listen?” Jensen asks against his lips when he’s let them go. Jared nods and tries to look down again but Jensen gives his chin a little shake.
“I love you, Jared,” Jensen says without hesitation and while holding Jared’s gaze intently. Jared’s breath catches in his chest and suddenly he doesn’t want Jensen saying it like this, doesn’t want him saying it because he feels he has to, because Jared said it first. He opens his mouth to say as much but Jensen stops him. “Ah, ah, ah. You said you’d listen.”
Jared blinks and bites his lip. He nods again, nearly frozen in Jensen’s sights and tries to remember to breathe.
“I really do. I should have told you last night. When you said you loved me, Jay, I… it hit me, just how much all of this is worth, how badly I’m fucking things up for you right now, how much worse it could get. I’m not glad to walk away from you but it’s really important that we separate and you stay safe. If something happened to you, I’d- I could never live with it. I will find a way to make it safe for us or… I won’t find you again. Do you understand what I’m saying? Because I love you. Too much to be the cause of… what might happen if I stay with you right now, or come back before the time is right.”
Sometime while Jensen is speaking the grip on Jared’s lungs loosens. He’s breathing, a little rushed, and nodding, a little frantic, because he doesn’t want to say goodbye any more than Jensen does but hearing Jensen say-
“I love you.” He says it again and catches Jared’s mouth with his. Jared whimpers into the kiss. He feels freed by the knowledge that Jensen loves him, too. He’s light as air, he’s floating, hell- he might even be able to fly. He moves his shaky hands to Jensen’s neck and opens for Jensen’s tongue. Jensen kisses him breathless and Jared just holds on. When Jensen finally breaks the kiss they’re both flushed and panting. Jensen rests their foreheads together and they take the moment, just smiling and breathing, and Jared doesn’t care what happens - he will never be anything but grateful that Jensen wandered into his life and turned it upside down.
Jensen’s one hand is still cradling Jared’s face and Jared sighs, leaning into the touch.
“I can smell coffee brewing.” Jensen gives him one more kiss. “Why don’t you get dressed and we’ll get out there. We’ll figure out where to go from here after we’re caffeinated.”
Jared laughs and Jensen’s smile gets wider.
“Okay, Jen.”
When Jared’s all dressed and has freshened up, he takes Jensen’s hand and they go out to the kitchen together. Kim is sitting with a full mug of coffee in front of her and Briana is sitting beside her holding her hand on top of the table. Kim looks sad and Briana seems concerned. Jared’s stomach tightens.
“Aunt Kim?” He’s quiet as they come closer to the dining table and Kim looks up. “What- what’s wrong?”
Kim sighs heavily and Briana purses her lips, frowning.
“It’s Jack,” she answers, gesturing vaguely to the windows - to outside. “I let him out earlier and now he’s vanished. I don’t know. He always comes when he’s called. This isn’t like him. I’m worried.”
Jared feels the change in Jensen before he even turns to look at him but when he does, he feels himself pale at the sharp, serious expression on Jensen’s face.
“Jensen?”
For a brief moment, Jensen closes his eyes and breathes out. When he looks at Jared again, he’s apologetic.
“Uh, Kim, does this place have a basement?” He asks.
Kim and Briana both look confused.
“It does,” Kim answers in a questioning tone.
“I’m going to need you all to get down there right now.” Jensen sounds rueful but assertive, an edge to his voice that Jared remembers hearing in his apartment in Austin, and Jared’s heart starts to hammer in his chest.
“What?” Briana stand ups, surprised, but Kim is still sitting, blinking.
“I’m sorry but I mean it. Right now. It’s for your own safety.”
“Jensen, what’s happening?” Jared turns to him, tugging his arm.
“Nothing, if I can help it. Please,” he gives Jared one more look, pleading and sincere, before turning back to Jared’s stunned aunts. “In the basement, now. Jared can explain when you’re down there. It’s not safe.”
“Young man,” Kim is standing now and her tone of voice is one Jared has heard before - while growing up and getting in trouble. He and Jensen turn to face her as she comes toward them, addressing Jensen and looking quite menacing considering yesterday she was warm and welcoming and stuffing them both full of as much pasta and wine as they could handle. “What exactly is happening here? Bri and I are cops if you’ve managed to somehow forget. This is our home and this is my nephew and -”
Jensen gives Jared a desperate look and Jared’s brain comes back online. They’re in danger and they don’t have time for this. Jared lets go of Jensen’s hand and grabs for Kim and Briana.
“Guys, really. We have to go,” he tries to get them to follow but Kim only looks more astonished.
“Jared, you’re scaring me. Whatever’s going on, we can help you, okay? Just-”
“No, Aunt Kim, not this time. I’ll explain downstairs, I promise, but please , just, come with me now.” Jared pulls out the big guns - his biggest, best puppy eyes (he knows they work, he uses them on Gen constantly - it may be the only reason she puts up with him, really) - and lets his fear and desperation read plain on his face.
“Kim, c’mon.” Briana has Kim’s other arm now and she doesn’t look happy but she’s trying to comply.
“I don’t believe this!” Kim exclaims but allows herself to be steered toward the basement door. Jared opens it and starts ushering them down.
“What about Jensen?” Kim scoffs from two steps down and Jared looks over his shoulder at Jensen who is looking intently out the window while taking the handgun out from where he had it hidden in the back waistband of his pants. Jared’s eyes go wide.
“I’ll explain when it’s safe, Kim, please! Just go!” Jared begs and Kim throws her hands up but continues into the basement with Briana just ahead of her.
“Jen- Jensen!” Jared gets his attention and Jensen looks over after checking the number of bullets and replacing the clip.
“Jared, I’m so sorry. Just- stay out of sight. I’ll take care of it and come back for you.”
“Promise me, Jensen,” Jared grabs his wrist before he can walk away and Jensen leans down to kiss him quickly.
“I promise. Now go .”
Jared makes himself let go of Jensen’s arm and closes the basement door behind him, locking it. He pauses a moment with his hand on the doorknob and his head on the wall. He tries to take deep, slow breaths to steady himself. Turns out his brilliant idea to hide out here isn’t just a bust but has put his family in danger, too. And he has to come up with something to tell them. Fan-fucking-tastic . He sighs and steels himself to face his aunts as he turns and joins them downstairs.
| Part Five | Masterpost | Part Seven |