Comments | non_plot: #116 -- PG; "White Shoes"

sawritings in non_plot

#116 -- PG; "White Shoes"

Jun 14, 2006 22:48

Title: White Shoes
Author: sawritings
Subject: Original, unnamed character
Rating: PG
Challenge: #116, 500 words exactly, about 30 minutes
Notes: My first post on this account. I had one some time ago on the sinnedaria account, but it's no longer really active, and this is my actual writing blog, so, here I am. :) Breaking from fantasy comfort zone here ( Read more... )

Comments 2

john_cole June 16 2006, 08:10:01 UTC

I like the subtle way she keeps pushing herself away from thinking about anything 'important' - like how and why she's here. Anytime she might think about that, she distracts herself with seemingly inconsequenstial details, like why her shoes aren't dirty.

Its very subtle, I like it. Probably because I do the same thing (shifty_eyes)

phinnia June 19 2006, 15:55:56 UTC

You have some absolutely gorgeous descriptive passages in this piece, and I really enjoyed the spare use of dialogue; it's very effective in creating a certain type of rural setting.
Welcome!