[PRIVATE POST - DEC. 15 2308 - CODE #2 - UNLOCKED]
There are so many things I want to say. I suppose everybody else's letters are more thought out, and continually revised, but I must admit that this is the first time that it has occurred to me to write one.
Ah, well, first. An explanation of what this actually is. This is a letter that, in the event of my destruction, will automatically be sent to the noted receivers. Or, in my case, posted directly to my journal, as you all read it anyway. I suppose this means it's a goodbye.
...and an apology. A normal student wouldn't have one of these, would he? Well, I'm not a normal student. I'm not a student at all, and I never was. So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I lied to so many of you, but it was honestly necessary. I took no pleasure in fooling any of you. I hope that you can forgive me. I still can't tell you what I actually do, but I suspect that if you look at the news in my world when I do perish, you'll put two and two together. After all, many of you are rather clever.
Mikaela Banes. I feel guilty about lying to you most of all. I must also admit that the numerous questions I asked you about the Cybertronians were not without motive. I gathered the information because I needed to know if there was another world that I could rely on for aid. I must also tell you that I twisted the truth in my explanation as to why I could not approach the Cybertronians...but I still cannot tell you why.
However, Mikaela, know this. It is not a lie or an adjustment of the truth that I enjoyed talking to you, or that it made me glad to see you smile. I have a great deal of respect for you, for a number of reasons. You are an honest, noble and very kind human being. Even though I was frequently cold and callous towards you, you pursued my friendship. If you were of my world, and could stand to be one of us, I would have selected you myself. Thank you, Mikaela Banes, for showing me a side to humanity I could not always see.
Itsuki Koizumi. You are incredibly intelligent, and it has often been a great joy to discuss matters with you. In time, I think you would have worked out many of my secrets for yourself, and I would not have begrudged it. I would like you to know, however, that I am aware you hold many secrets yourself, and I ask that you do not burden yourself too heavily with them. I believe you will go exceedingly far in life, and I wish you luck on the way.
Ban Midou. Ban, I don't suppose you would have expected to be on this list. As much as you have irritated me greatly over the months, there has been something...reassuring about that constant irritation. I have called you quite a few names, and while some of them are still appropriate, I feel I must tell you that I do not hate you. Occasionally, you have even amused me. I must also commend you in the lengths you have gone to to protect Rider. She is fortunate to have you.
Blackout and Eros. I have already made my confession to you. But I also want you to know that... ah, how to say this. If that virus had been true, then. It would have not been so bad. Eros, I do not know much about families, but I still think that I am able to judge that at the time, you were an excellent mother. And Blackout... we may have frequently been in opposition over many subjects, but you were certainly not an unacceptable father.
...even afterwards. I knew I could talk to you about... certain subjects, and you would understand. And you were willing to listen to me, and talk about them. Thank you very much.
Motoko Kusanagi Chroma. Thank you for making it seem like I am not alone, that I am not the only one. I am sorry I cannot tell you the full truth of things.
Yuan Ka-Fai. I forgive you. You were only trying to help. I am sorry I did not see that sooner.
Haruhi Suzumiya, Nia Teppelin, Nill, Colette Brunel, Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Karen Minazuki...and so many more. Thank you all so much for supporting me time and again. I still do not know what I have done to deserve you all.
Doctor (and the TARDIS, of course.) It is not in my kind's nature to wish to travel far and wide simply for the sake of it. However, you make it seem very...tempting. Of course, your journeys are frequently perilous, but I am rarely frightened. I think I should have liked to travel at least a little with you two.
This is not all I have to say to you. TARDIS, you always reminded me of something very important to me, but at the same time, you possessed a greater warmth and kindness. I still appreciate your forgiveness after the incident that caused a forced shut down. I know that they can be unpleasant, to say the least.
Doctor...you are brilliant. I have never met someone quite so entertaining and yet at the same time, so wise.
That parasol was my most treasured possession, you know.
Nena Trinity. I am sorry about Michael and Johann. Additionally, if my suspicions were correct... take care of it for me, if it is not too much to ask.
Feldt Grace. Don't tell anybody, but you always marked highest in my judgement out of anyone in the crew. You work so diligently, and you are always so focused on the mission. And while you are gentle in spirit, you are also one of the strongest of us.
Setsuna F. Seiei and Allelujah Haptism. I have doubted you two so many times in the past. I still think that I was correct in my judgement, at the time. However, I am aware that you have grown as individuals to better suit your positions of responsibility, and although you do not do things my way, perhaps that is for the best.
What I really mean to say is... I think we made a good team, all of us.
...and you were my friends.
Lockon Stratos. ...you're probably very angry with me right now. I'm sorry, Lockon. I. I just wanted to keep you safe. Because you're very important to me. When I thought you'd been killed, I...I can't describe it, Lockon. And to think that it was because of me... You have to understand. I know you wanted to fight, but I couldn't let you. Because I think I...
...no. I'll tell you if I come back. It would be cruel, otherwise. I'll tell you the other things, instead.
Even if it was only for a short time, you made me happy. You...you really got on my nerves, sometimes. But it didn't matter, because you knew when to be serious and supportive. You have been so kind to me. When I thought I'd lost everything... you were still there. You didn't indulge my silly moping, you showed me the way to move on, to be stronger. I don't know what I would have done without you. So, thank you.
Thank you for taking care of me, and for taking the time to get to know me. And thank you for accepting me even though you knew. Thank you for doing your job properly too, I suppose! You were the only one of us I never doubted. I knew I could always rely on you.
Thank you, Lockon Stratos, for being the very best of human beings, and for allowing me to be one too.
I hope I do come back, and this letter is never used. I really do want to tell you.
Goodbye, everyone.
Ah, well, first. An explanation of what this actually is. This is a letter that, in the event of my destruction, will automatically be sent to the noted receivers. Or, in my case, posted directly to my journal, as you all read it anyway. I suppose this means it's a goodbye.
...and an apology. A normal student wouldn't have one of these, would he? Well, I'm not a normal student. I'm not a student at all, and I never was. So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I lied to so many of you, but it was honestly necessary. I took no pleasure in fooling any of you. I hope that you can forgive me. I still can't tell you what I actually do, but I suspect that if you look at the news in my world when I do perish, you'll put two and two together. After all, many of you are rather clever.
Mikaela Banes. I feel guilty about lying to you most of all. I must also admit that the numerous questions I asked you about the Cybertronians were not without motive. I gathered the information because I needed to know if there was another world that I could rely on for aid. I must also tell you that I twisted the truth in my explanation as to why I could not approach the Cybertronians...but I still cannot tell you why.
However, Mikaela, know this. It is not a lie or an adjustment of the truth that I enjoyed talking to you, or that it made me glad to see you smile. I have a great deal of respect for you, for a number of reasons. You are an honest, noble and very kind human being. Even though I was frequently cold and callous towards you, you pursued my friendship. If you were of my world, and could stand to be one of us, I would have selected you myself. Thank you, Mikaela Banes, for showing me a side to humanity I could not always see.
Itsuki Koizumi. You are incredibly intelligent, and it has often been a great joy to discuss matters with you. In time, I think you would have worked out many of my secrets for yourself, and I would not have begrudged it. I would like you to know, however, that I am aware you hold many secrets yourself, and I ask that you do not burden yourself too heavily with them. I believe you will go exceedingly far in life, and I wish you luck on the way.
Ban Midou. Ban, I don't suppose you would have expected to be on this list. As much as you have irritated me greatly over the months, there has been something...reassuring about that constant irritation. I have called you quite a few names, and while some of them are still appropriate, I feel I must tell you that I do not hate you. Occasionally, you have even amused me. I must also commend you in the lengths you have gone to to protect Rider. She is fortunate to have you.
Blackout and Eros. I have already made my confession to you. But I also want you to know that... ah, how to say this. If that virus had been true, then. It would have not been so bad. Eros, I do not know much about families, but I still think that I am able to judge that at the time, you were an excellent mother. And Blackout... we may have frequently been in opposition over many subjects, but you were certainly not an unacceptable father.
...even afterwards. I knew I could talk to you about... certain subjects, and you would understand. And you were willing to listen to me, and talk about them. Thank you very much.
Motoko Kusanagi Chroma. Thank you for making it seem like I am not alone, that I am not the only one. I am sorry I cannot tell you the full truth of things.
Yuan Ka-Fai. I forgive you. You were only trying to help. I am sorry I did not see that sooner.
Haruhi Suzumiya, Nia Teppelin, Nill, Colette Brunel, Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Karen Minazuki...and so many more. Thank you all so much for supporting me time and again. I still do not know what I have done to deserve you all.
Doctor (and the TARDIS, of course.) It is not in my kind's nature to wish to travel far and wide simply for the sake of it. However, you make it seem very...tempting. Of course, your journeys are frequently perilous, but I am rarely frightened. I think I should have liked to travel at least a little with you two.
This is not all I have to say to you. TARDIS, you always reminded me of something very important to me, but at the same time, you possessed a greater warmth and kindness. I still appreciate your forgiveness after the incident that caused a forced shut down. I know that they can be unpleasant, to say the least.
Doctor...you are brilliant. I have never met someone quite so entertaining and yet at the same time, so wise.
That parasol was my most treasured possession, you know.
Nena Trinity. I am sorry about Michael and Johann. Additionally, if my suspicions were correct... take care of it for me, if it is not too much to ask.
Feldt Grace. Don't tell anybody, but you always marked highest in my judgement out of anyone in the crew. You work so diligently, and you are always so focused on the mission. And while you are gentle in spirit, you are also one of the strongest of us.
Setsuna F. Seiei and Allelujah Haptism. I have doubted you two so many times in the past. I still think that I was correct in my judgement, at the time. However, I am aware that you have grown as individuals to better suit your positions of responsibility, and although you do not do things my way, perhaps that is for the best.
What I really mean to say is... I think we made a good team, all of us.
...and you were my friends.
Lockon Stratos. ...you're probably very angry with me right now. I'm sorry, Lockon. I. I just wanted to keep you safe. Because you're very important to me. When I thought you'd been killed, I...I can't describe it, Lockon. And to think that it was because of me... You have to understand. I know you wanted to fight, but I couldn't let you. Because I think I...
...no. I'll tell you if I come back. It would be cruel, otherwise. I'll tell you the other things, instead.
Even if it was only for a short time, you made me happy. You...you really got on my nerves, sometimes. But it didn't matter, because you knew when to be serious and supportive. You have been so kind to me. When I thought I'd lost everything... you were still there. You didn't indulge my silly moping, you showed me the way to move on, to be stronger. I don't know what I would have done without you. So, thank you.
Thank you for taking care of me, and for taking the time to get to know me. And thank you for accepting me even though you knew. Thank you for doing your job properly too, I suppose! You were the only one of us I never doubted. I knew I could always rely on you.
Thank you, Lockon Stratos, for being the very best of human beings, and for allowing me to be one too.
I hope I do come back, and this letter is never used. I really do want to tell you.
Goodbye, everyone.