Fic Graveyard
I've kind of always wanted to make one of these. I have a few unfinished fics that I know for a fact I'll never want to finish, so I figured, why not at least share what I've got? So, here I am presenting you with My Fic Graveyard. ♥
[Title] Angst (It's what it's called on my computer)
[Rating] PG, probably
[Genre] Angst
[Pairing] Shihan
Soft Chinese phrases fell off Shiwon’s tongue, spoken with an obvious accent that only became even more incomprehensible to the native Chinese speakers around him due to his tears. The foreign words he spoke barely held any meaning to him in the first place, but as sharp gasps racked his voice, they lost all meaning completely. He merely reiterated them to appease the people around him.
None of them blamed Shiwon for what had happened, but none of them had seen the note taped to the fridge, none of them read the words that pierced deep in his soul, and none of them knew that Shiwon felt entirely responsible, even if no one else placed any of the blame on him. When they saw Shiwon’s tears, they assumed it was out of sadness, but they were only half right. Of course he was sad - how could he not be? - but it was the situation in its entirety, the doubt, the fear, the suspicion, the misunderstanding, that really made the tears slide smoothly down his cheeks.
He didn’t even realize what he’d been doing, wasn’t aware of how much hurt he’d been causing, until he got home and saw the little piece of paper stuck to the fridge, and then it was too late to do anything. He remembered reading over and over again the words that numbed his brain as he sat on the couch, waiting for any kind of news to reach him. He’d called his friends to see if they knew what was going on, but it was news to all of them. He guessed it wasn’t too much of a surprise, since he’d hardly introduced his lover to any of his friends, keeping Hankyung to himself rather than introducing him around. He was too protective of him, too worried that someone else would take him away, and that had been the mistake.
Gentle Chinese words met Shiwon’s ears, whispered words breathed against his ear in a voice he recognized, a voice he knew, a voice he loved, the voice he’d been longing to hear for weeks but couldn’t. Memories flashed suddenly through his mind, memories of laying on the grass on a warm summer day, of linked fingers, lazy touches and light kisses. He remembered the way words would be whispered in his ear to wake him up when it started getting dark, but when he looked up he saw a stranger whispering her condolences before moving on, and the voice faded from his mind, leaving him as alone as he’d been since he’d first even found out what happened..
[Title] Beautiful Girl
[Rating] PG
[Genre] Angst?
[Pairing] Kyuchul
Kyuhyun could never be perfect for Heechul, but he tried. God knows he tried.
[Title] Hanchul Fluff
[Rating] PG
[Genre] Fluff?
[Pairing] Hanchul
[Note] This is the original way I was going to write Reunion.
To Hankyung, nothing was as wonderfully easy to fall in love with as Heechul.
And he was just as easy to break it off with.
Hankyung never thought they would ever break up, that they would be together forever, to grow up living together, hiding away from their parents for not following their traditions and “marrying a nice girl and having a family.” Hankyung had been so sure that he and Heechul would probably wind up running away together to another city or to China or America or to some remote region of the world where they could be in love with each other and not have to worry about anything. Everyone in school knew they were the hottest couple to ever grace their campus, and they had many supporters who offered their help flying them out of Korea, giving them money to run off and be free, and one person who offered to have the mafia snipe off their parents. They weren’t sure if he was joking.
And then high school finished, Heechul went off to school in Seoul and Hankyung went back to China, and they attempted to stay in touch, but things just fell apart. Heechul got busy studying and started spending all his time researching and writing papers and not replying to Hankyung’s letters. Hankyung, on the other hand, relaxed for a year, helping his parents in their shop before going back to school and getting a degree. He’d met a nice girl who had thoughts of getting married and having kids, but Hankyung always felt some kind of reserve, explaining it off that he just wasn’t ready yet, and she would smile and tell him that she would wait until he was ready.
He wound up spending a lot of time studying overseas, going to a college in London, in New York, one in Japan, and one in Australia, trying to get everything for his international business degree figured out so he could finally graduate. On the plane trip back to China, he thought about his family and his work and his girlfriend, and thought that perhaps it was finally time to propose to her, to make his parents happy and begin his life with a family, just like his parents wanted. But when he returned home, his girlfriend’s face was the first thing he saw, and though he happily gathered her in his arms and told her he loved her, he still felt all his old reserves resurface and the words to ask her to be his wife wouldn’t come out, and he kept the ring he’d bought in Australia tucked safely in his travel bag.
The trip to his home University brought surprises - surprises he wasn’t entirely sure he was ready for. The head of the University told Hankyung that he had one semester left of school - he thought for sure he was done! - and he could either finish it in China or pick another foreign school to go to. They showed him a list of all the schools left to him, and even though it was long with hundreds of schools on it, he just knew that it was Korea he wanted to go back to. He tried searching through the whole list, but his eyes kept settling back on Korea, and in the end it was decided that Yonsei University in Seoul would be where he finished his degree.
[Title] Sometimes
[Rating] Extremely light PG-13, for mentions of nudity
[Genre] Angst
[Pairing] None, Kibum-centric
Sometimes, when life beat Kibum a little too harshly, he would stand in the middle of his room with the door locked and slowly take off his clothes, pretending each article was a worry in his life he was shedding, until he was naked. But the weight never seemed to be lifted from his shoulders. Then, he would curl into a little ball and cry until there was nothing left to cry.
Every time this happened, he would fall asleep wishing for one person to care, one concerned knock on his door, one worried voice asking if he was okay, one person to take the time out of their lives to spare him even a glance. He knew he was a solitary person, choosing to listen rather than talk, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like to have attention sometimes, especially in times like these when he felt as though the world had kicked him a little too hard and a little too fast.
[Title] Artificial Light
[Rating] PG?
[Genre] Not sure
[Pairing] Possible Shimin, though not specifically
Sungmin hates artificial light. He hates the stage lights, the house lights, the light in the car - but he especially hates the light in the bathroom. Something about the tiles and the shower door and the mirror speckled with dried water drops just makes him hate the bathroom lights even more. And as superficial as it may sound, he hates artificial lights because under them, he looks less attractive than he feels.
“I have these tan lines,” he explains when Shiwon asks, the younger having walked in on the older glaring at his reflection in the mirror, “and they look stupid.” He lifts his shorts a few inches up to show that his tan does, in fact, stop halfway up his thighs. “And on my arms.” He shows the tan lines wearing short sleeve shirt has left on his body, then shows his stomach a bit to reveal baby white skin, hardly touched by the sun. “And I have this scar on my hip.” He shows a scar that sits just below the waistband of his pants, grimacing at the sight of it. “And under these unnatural lights, it all just looks so awful!”
[Title] Untitled
[Rating] PG?
[Genre] Angst
[Pairing] Shimin
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew this was wrong, but he didn’t want to acknowledge that emotion. He wanted to be selfish and just take what was right in front of him without asking questions, to ignore the redness rimming Sungmin’s eyes and the shaky way his fingers lifted to Shiwon’s lips questioningly; he wanted so desperately to be able to pull out his inner teenager he’d long since suppressed and remain ignorant to the feeling of worry eating away at him, but he just couldn’t.
[Title] You Oughtta Know (Version 1)
[Rating] PG-13 for language and suggestiveness
[Genre] Angst?
[Pairing] Kyuhyun/?
Do you remember that day you left me? Do you remember how you told me that I was too jealous of a lover and you didn’t want to be with me anymore? Do you remember how you told me you loved another man and that you were going to be with him because he loves you, and you love him? What about my love, Kyu Hyun? What about my feelings?
Is he everything I’m not? Does he cook for you and clean the house and hold you tightly after having sex? Does he? Is he daring like we were? Does he kiss you in public, and try to go down on you in the back row of an empty movie theater? Does he hold your hand and make you feel loved, like I used to?
[Title] You Oughtta Know (Version 2)
[Rating] PG-13 for language
[Genre] Angst?
[Pairing] Kyuhyun/?
I heard the other day from Hee Chul that you and Han Kyung are doing well. I’m happy for you, did you know that, you lying, cheating bastard? I’m happy that you’re living the life you want, even though it’s supposed to be me by your side. I’m happy that you’re happy, even though I always gave you more happiness than he’ll ever be able to.
[Title] Angst (It's what it's called on my computer)
[Rating] PG, probably
[Genre] Angst
[Pairing] Shihan
Soft Chinese phrases fell off Shiwon’s tongue, spoken with an obvious accent that only became even more incomprehensible to the native Chinese speakers around him due to his tears. The foreign words he spoke barely held any meaning to him in the first place, but as sharp gasps racked his voice, they lost all meaning completely. He merely reiterated them to appease the people around him.
None of them blamed Shiwon for what had happened, but none of them had seen the note taped to the fridge, none of them read the words that pierced deep in his soul, and none of them knew that Shiwon felt entirely responsible, even if no one else placed any of the blame on him. When they saw Shiwon’s tears, they assumed it was out of sadness, but they were only half right. Of course he was sad - how could he not be? - but it was the situation in its entirety, the doubt, the fear, the suspicion, the misunderstanding, that really made the tears slide smoothly down his cheeks.
He didn’t even realize what he’d been doing, wasn’t aware of how much hurt he’d been causing, until he got home and saw the little piece of paper stuck to the fridge, and then it was too late to do anything. He remembered reading over and over again the words that numbed his brain as he sat on the couch, waiting for any kind of news to reach him. He’d called his friends to see if they knew what was going on, but it was news to all of them. He guessed it wasn’t too much of a surprise, since he’d hardly introduced his lover to any of his friends, keeping Hankyung to himself rather than introducing him around. He was too protective of him, too worried that someone else would take him away, and that had been the mistake.
Gentle Chinese words met Shiwon’s ears, whispered words breathed against his ear in a voice he recognized, a voice he knew, a voice he loved, the voice he’d been longing to hear for weeks but couldn’t. Memories flashed suddenly through his mind, memories of laying on the grass on a warm summer day, of linked fingers, lazy touches and light kisses. He remembered the way words would be whispered in his ear to wake him up when it started getting dark, but when he looked up he saw a stranger whispering her condolences before moving on, and the voice faded from his mind, leaving him as alone as he’d been since he’d first even found out what happened..
[Title] Beautiful Girl
[Rating] PG
[Genre] Angst?
[Pairing] Kyuchul
Kyuhyun could never be perfect for Heechul, but he tried. God knows he tried.
[Title] Hanchul Fluff
[Rating] PG
[Genre] Fluff?
[Pairing] Hanchul
[Note] This is the original way I was going to write Reunion.
To Hankyung, nothing was as wonderfully easy to fall in love with as Heechul.
And he was just as easy to break it off with.
Hankyung never thought they would ever break up, that they would be together forever, to grow up living together, hiding away from their parents for not following their traditions and “marrying a nice girl and having a family.” Hankyung had been so sure that he and Heechul would probably wind up running away together to another city or to China or America or to some remote region of the world where they could be in love with each other and not have to worry about anything. Everyone in school knew they were the hottest couple to ever grace their campus, and they had many supporters who offered their help flying them out of Korea, giving them money to run off and be free, and one person who offered to have the mafia snipe off their parents. They weren’t sure if he was joking.
And then high school finished, Heechul went off to school in Seoul and Hankyung went back to China, and they attempted to stay in touch, but things just fell apart. Heechul got busy studying and started spending all his time researching and writing papers and not replying to Hankyung’s letters. Hankyung, on the other hand, relaxed for a year, helping his parents in their shop before going back to school and getting a degree. He’d met a nice girl who had thoughts of getting married and having kids, but Hankyung always felt some kind of reserve, explaining it off that he just wasn’t ready yet, and she would smile and tell him that she would wait until he was ready.
He wound up spending a lot of time studying overseas, going to a college in London, in New York, one in Japan, and one in Australia, trying to get everything for his international business degree figured out so he could finally graduate. On the plane trip back to China, he thought about his family and his work and his girlfriend, and thought that perhaps it was finally time to propose to her, to make his parents happy and begin his life with a family, just like his parents wanted. But when he returned home, his girlfriend’s face was the first thing he saw, and though he happily gathered her in his arms and told her he loved her, he still felt all his old reserves resurface and the words to ask her to be his wife wouldn’t come out, and he kept the ring he’d bought in Australia tucked safely in his travel bag.
The trip to his home University brought surprises - surprises he wasn’t entirely sure he was ready for. The head of the University told Hankyung that he had one semester left of school - he thought for sure he was done! - and he could either finish it in China or pick another foreign school to go to. They showed him a list of all the schools left to him, and even though it was long with hundreds of schools on it, he just knew that it was Korea he wanted to go back to. He tried searching through the whole list, but his eyes kept settling back on Korea, and in the end it was decided that Yonsei University in Seoul would be where he finished his degree.
[Title] Sometimes
[Rating] Extremely light PG-13, for mentions of nudity
[Genre] Angst
[Pairing] None, Kibum-centric
Sometimes, when life beat Kibum a little too harshly, he would stand in the middle of his room with the door locked and slowly take off his clothes, pretending each article was a worry in his life he was shedding, until he was naked. But the weight never seemed to be lifted from his shoulders. Then, he would curl into a little ball and cry until there was nothing left to cry.
Every time this happened, he would fall asleep wishing for one person to care, one concerned knock on his door, one worried voice asking if he was okay, one person to take the time out of their lives to spare him even a glance. He knew he was a solitary person, choosing to listen rather than talk, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like to have attention sometimes, especially in times like these when he felt as though the world had kicked him a little too hard and a little too fast.
[Title] Artificial Light
[Rating] PG?
[Genre] Not sure
[Pairing] Possible Shimin, though not specifically
Sungmin hates artificial light. He hates the stage lights, the house lights, the light in the car - but he especially hates the light in the bathroom. Something about the tiles and the shower door and the mirror speckled with dried water drops just makes him hate the bathroom lights even more. And as superficial as it may sound, he hates artificial lights because under them, he looks less attractive than he feels.
“I have these tan lines,” he explains when Shiwon asks, the younger having walked in on the older glaring at his reflection in the mirror, “and they look stupid.” He lifts his shorts a few inches up to show that his tan does, in fact, stop halfway up his thighs. “And on my arms.” He shows the tan lines wearing short sleeve shirt has left on his body, then shows his stomach a bit to reveal baby white skin, hardly touched by the sun. “And I have this scar on my hip.” He shows a scar that sits just below the waistband of his pants, grimacing at the sight of it. “And under these unnatural lights, it all just looks so awful!”
[Title] Untitled
[Rating] PG?
[Genre] Angst
[Pairing] Shimin
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew this was wrong, but he didn’t want to acknowledge that emotion. He wanted to be selfish and just take what was right in front of him without asking questions, to ignore the redness rimming Sungmin’s eyes and the shaky way his fingers lifted to Shiwon’s lips questioningly; he wanted so desperately to be able to pull out his inner teenager he’d long since suppressed and remain ignorant to the feeling of worry eating away at him, but he just couldn’t.
[Title] You Oughtta Know (Version 1)
[Rating] PG-13 for language and suggestiveness
[Genre] Angst?
[Pairing] Kyuhyun/?
Do you remember that day you left me? Do you remember how you told me that I was too jealous of a lover and you didn’t want to be with me anymore? Do you remember how you told me you loved another man and that you were going to be with him because he loves you, and you love him? What about my love, Kyu Hyun? What about my feelings?
Is he everything I’m not? Does he cook for you and clean the house and hold you tightly after having sex? Does he? Is he daring like we were? Does he kiss you in public, and try to go down on you in the back row of an empty movie theater? Does he hold your hand and make you feel loved, like I used to?
[Title] You Oughtta Know (Version 2)
[Rating] PG-13 for language
[Genre] Angst?
[Pairing] Kyuhyun/?
I heard the other day from Hee Chul that you and Han Kyung are doing well. I’m happy for you, did you know that, you lying, cheating bastard? I’m happy that you’re living the life you want, even though it’s supposed to be me by your side. I’m happy that you’re happy, even though I always gave you more happiness than he’ll ever be able to.