[Summary] OreOre by Hoshino Tomoyuki (2010) (- 45)
[Summary] OreOre by Hoshino Tomoyuki (2010)
* In the book the different ME are printed in bold. I will use * * to indicate them in the summary.
* Previous parts can be found at the OreOre Masterpost.
[p 25 (cont.) - 32]
Nagano returns home. He is still depressed and thinks about going to sleep immediately. He enters his apartment. The lights are on in the dining-kitchen. There is the smell of cooking and a warm atmosphere is enveloping him. He can hear voices from the TV. From inside the room a voice calls, "Dai-chan? Isn't it quite late?"
There is an older lady he has never seen before. He panics and says, "Sorry, I got the wrong door". She replies, "What are you saying this is your home".
She says she is his mother and asks if he changed his cell phone number. He should tell her if he does. And he had promised to call the next day but didn't. She couldn't reach him and she was worried that he did get involved with loan sharks and was in trouble. She wanted to call the police but Kasumi [her daughter] told her to take a look at Daiki's apartment. So she came.
She tells him not to just stand there but come in.
He thinks it would be foolish to ask her who she is. He remembers her voice and her way of speaking. It's definitely Daiki's mother.
But what is she doing here? Is she working with the police? Is this an undercover operation? Nagano doesn't know what to make of it. So he plays along.
The mother has prepared some food. He says thanks. She asks about his physical condition. He says he is all right. Then she asks about his friends. He says they are OK too and thanks her again.
He gives only short answers to her questions and she looks at him suspiciously. She says he shouldn't hide things from her. Nagano thinks about confessing everything but still hesitates.
Instead he tells her that in he hasn't used the money yet and will return it. The mother wonders why, were his friend's troubles just a lie? What did he need it for?
Until now Nagano thought it was all some kind of act of the mother but she continues to act like he is her son. So now he wonders what if she thinks he is really Daiki. And what does it all mean. He thinks it would be better if he gets caught and could return to reality. He really only did everything out of an sudden impulse and there was no evil intent.
He decides to confess to the mother. She doesn't believe him. She says he is treating his parent as a stranger and holds back things from her. Then she says she didn't want to meddle and wanted to wait until he told her himself but now she will ask what she wants him to ask.
"Will you not marry Mamiko?"
Nagano is speechless.
The mother says that he is silent again? Well, it has nothing to do with her, it's his life.
Finally Nagano gets some words out. He says that it's not like that. She asks him to explain it to her.
So he says he broke up with Mamiko. It's the only thing he can say. The mother doesn’t react much to that. Nagano feels relieved and can think straight again.
He explains that in truth it has something to do with the borrowed money. Mamiko was in that car accident and was badly hurt (compound fracture in the hip). He was the driver. She is already better now. But they needed money for the doctor's bills. He apologized to Mamiko and took care of her but it was difficult for them to be together. So they decided to keep their distance for a while, and then Mamiko said to break up.
The mother believes him but said he should have told her. He says it was difficult for him to tell that and for Mamiko too.
The mother is kind of sad and says maybe after a while they can be back together. Nagano says he doesn't dare to have any hope. To which the mother says he shouldn't be so pessimistic.
And then she adds that if Mamiko isn't there he will probably stay single his whole life.
Nagano is like, what are you saying!?
Nagano starts wondering if the mother isn't someone who doesn't understand the real Daiki. On the other hand Daiki has also kept his distance from her.
But in the end this is inconsequential for him. He just wants to please the mother. So he tells her he will try to talk with Mamiko when the timing is right. This makes the mother happy and he also feels happy.
While they talked it has become quite late and the mother wants to take her leave. She asks for his new phone number. He doesn't want to but somehow ends up giving her his real number.
Then Nagano asks her to stay the night. He knows that she lives some distance away and it's already too late for her to get home today. He really doesn't want her to stay but there are no alternatives.
So she gets to have his futon and he sleeps in the dining room. They prepare for bed.
After lying down she calls one last good night.
He can't sleep. He thinks she can't be there. He calls out to her but gets no reply. He gets up and opens the sliding door to her room. He can only see darkness at first. He thinks the bed looks like no one is there and he slowly goes closer. He sees some hair looking from under the sheets. He feels cold and returns to his bed.
[p 32 (cont.) - 42]
Nagano has a dream. He is half naked (without pants and underwear). He comes out from a toilet at a McDonalds. He eats a BigMac to conceal his nudity. He wakes up. It's 9:00. He can hear noises from the other room.
He makes sunny-side-up fried eggs and tea, and prepares toast and jam. The mother comes out and is deeply moved because he is making breakfast.
Nagano tells her he has some plans today and has to go out too. They leave for Hiyoshi-Station together. There they part. He puts on a knitted hat and glasses he had prepared and follows the mother.
She has a long way to go. They finally arrive at a very old multi-unit apartment complex. The walls are blackened and cracked. Flower beds are between the big buildings. The mother lives in the middle building on the second floor. The name plate reads Hiyama.
Nagano just wanted to see where she lives and then leave. However, he rings the bell. There is no intercom so the mother asks from behind the door who it is. He says it's Daiki and he has forgotten his keys. She opens the door a crack and asks what's the matter. He tells her the plans he had made with friends today were canalled at the last minute so he came here.
She tells him she also just got home and lets him in. The apartment looks messy. He guess it's because she is living alone and no one comes to visit. He sits down at the dining table and says that it has been about half a year since he was here. The mother says it has been since New Year's Day.
He asks if his [Daiki's] elder sister also visits not very often. The mother tells him what the sister told her, that because this is an old apartment, there is a lot of dust and mould and that's bad for her baby. So she doesn't come anymore. Nagano is a little doubtful about that but doesn't say it.
She asks if he has seen the baby (Shou). There are pictures on the TV shelf. She points to the other room. She says the sister sent them last month, but she wants to see the baby in real life.
Nagano asks if she can't go to the sister's house. She answers that because Kensuke [the sister’s husband] is working from home, and so she would be a disturbance. And because Kensuke helps with the baby the sister doesn’t need help from the mother.
Nagano has gone to the TV. It's a very old one and there is even an old video cassette recorder. There is the picture with the baby, but he is interested in another one. In that picture he sees himself. It's him in the picture, not Daiki. And in another one, taken at Disneyland, is him again. A 11 - 12 year old him.
He asks if there are more photos. The mother says that he should have the albums except for the ones the father kept. He asks if he can look for them. She says yes.
He searches for them. He finds a lot of video tapes with Korean dramas. The mother seems to like them. He finds old bags, tableware, magazines, baby clothes... while digging through all that stuff he feels like he is taking in the past.
He can't take it anymore. He looks around wondering about the big freezer and fridge.
The mother keeps things even if she doesn't use them anymore. He tells her to throw them away. She tells him he shouldn't touch them. They have no meaning for him but for her they do have meaning.
She hands him an album and the postcard for the class reunion. The album has old photographs in it. Photos of his sister as a baby with the parents. There are lots of baby pictures of his sister but barely any of him [Daiki]. He says that's unfair.
The mother says that's natural. It's always like that with the first child. By the second child the parents have already gotten used to it.
Nagano is now looking at the last pages. There are photos from middle and high school entering and graduating ceremonies.
He says there are years missing and the mother replies that at that time Kasumi also made her own albums, so the only pictures she has are the ones of these formal events.
There are also the pictures of them at Disneyland. Most are of Kasumi and the parents. There is one where he shows the middle finger to his sister while they are eating ice, and one out of focus one of him squeezing in between the parents. The mother says he was always making faces when they asked people to photograph them. It was embarrassing.
He looks at the pictures and the kid in them is not Daiki but him.
He says that there are also barely any pictures of him at Disneyland and the mother says it's because he took them. He wanted to show his skills with the camera and so asked to go to Disneyland. He even took a replacement lens with him and was in high spirits.
Then she asks if he doesn't remember. Is he all right? He is still young (to start forgetting things).
Nagano quickly says he remembers but not details. The mother is surprised but tells him that on that he had a huge fight with his sister and the camera broke. Nagano pretends to remember it and says he was really angry. Then he tries to get more information from her by saying he bought it with his New Year's money. She says that's wrong. It was the father's. She tells him he bought a camera when entering high school. He always took the pictures that’s why there are so few of him. And he spent his pocket money on developing the films. He was also better at photographing as his father. And the photos he took of his now deceased father are one of her great treasures.
She says he is very skilful at it. But even tough he went to photography school he didn't get a job as a cameraman. She was worried.
The mother says she has to tell him something. At that time, when she persistently told him to go job hunting, she was most afraid of his lack of motivation.
Any work would be OK. If he had spirit/backbone a path where he could use photography might open itself. If he gave up there would be no such path. She intended to encourage it like that. But she says she was wrong thinking that with a job his motivation would appear. That was her error. He had no choice but to leave as he was cornered at home. She did reflect on all that and wanted to tell him. But the chances for it became less and less. But now she finally could.
She also heard that he is now selling cameras and she is really happy about that.
Hearing all that Nagano started to feel sick. He flees to the toilet. He has to cling to something or he will faint. He feels like he has been swept away from his own reality. He tries to get a grip on himself by slowly breathing in and out. After calming down a little he leaves the toilet and stands at the washbasin. He looks into the mirror. He sees himself. But he can't get used to it. He turns away washing his face like he wants to erase it.
The mother is still looking at the album. She asks if his stomach is OK. It's about 14:00. He pretends to get a call from his work place. He tells the mother he has to take over some late shift because someone is sick. The mother says he will destroy his health this way and in the end there will be no reward.
He leaves.
[p 42 (cont.) - 45]
Nagano hurries to the station but gets lost. He reaches a station after over an hour and a half. Then he accidentally takes the train in the wrong direction. He feels like crying and wants to change trains at the next stop but then reconsiders. His real parents’ home is two stations further. He exits there. At the station he nearly falls down a staircase. He also notices he is very hungry, so he gets some food from a McDonalds. There at last he feels like himself again.
He imagines the reaction of the his mother when she sees him. He thinks it's more likely she will be angry at him than welcome him. He hasn't been home in a long time. He doesn't want to see his father. He thinks returning just like that after a couple years is bad, so he tries to call home. He only reaches the answering machine and hangs up without saying anything. He is worrying what to say and how his parents will react when the lack of sleep finally catches up with him. He falls asleep at the McDonalds. When he wakes up it's 18:00. His father will probably be at home by now. He lost his chance. He calls himself an idiot. He really doesn't have the courage to return home. He decides to return to his apartment. He leaves the McDonalds but doesn't go to the station but turns in the direction of his parents' home.
Getting closer to his parents' home, his tension rises. He notices that the street has subtly changed in the last two years. When he reaches his parents' home he sees the old car, the flowers and his name that he scratched near the door with a nail when he was a kid. Standing there his nerves settle.
He rings and his mother's voice asks over the intercom who it is.
"It's me, Hitoshi".
His mother suddenly shouts at him, "It's you again! Give me a break!"
Nagano is totally flustered. He wants to know what she means with "you again" he wants to know if she is being sarcastic. It has certainly been a long time since he came home. He is sorry.
He doesn't want to give up but his mother asks him to leave. If he doesn't the same thing will happen like the other day. Her voice is full of aggression.
He tells her again that he hasn't been here in a long time and that he is really sorry.
But his mother says that she doesn't know him.
He asks if he has been disinherited and wants her to let him at least speak. He asks her to please open the door.
The door opens. A young man appears telling him that stalking is a crime.
Nagano is frozen to the spot. It's the man he has seen a lot today. Namely, it's *himself*!
~*~ end chapter 1 ~*~