F Floor, Unlucky Door [2/2]
Kyungsoo is stirred from a fitful sleep at 4am on Thursday morning. He immediately runs to the bathroom and barely opens the toilet lid in time before he’s spilling his guts to the soundtrack of his own heaving.
He’s not one to fall ill regularly, but he recognizes the common stomach bug when it hits. After he’s flushed the toilet and brushed his teeth, he sends a quick email to his supervisors informing them he won’t be in today, changes his shirt and curls back into bed.
He drifts in and out of sleep for the remainder of the morning, alternating between sweating in his bed and rushing to the toilet. It’s somewhere in the afternoon, when he’s attempting to stomach a single slice of toast that he remembers Sehun will probably stop by to study in the evening.
To: Sehun
I’m home sick today. Probably best you don’t use my living room to study tonight. Sorry >.<
He doesn’t wait for a reply before collapsing back into his sheets and drifting off; but it’s a fitful sleep that mostly consists of half delirium, reminders to himself to hydrate, staring at the ceiling, and bouts of nausea that send him running to the bathroom.
In short, it’s miserable. So miserable that Kyungsoo -- like most sick people -- laments why he ever took advantage of just feeling normal. Kyungsoo’s glad he lives alone and can be miserable all on his own, without any interruptions or overly concerned roommates checking on him every hour.
It must be around seven in the evening when there’s a firm knock to his door. Kyungsoo doesn’t even bother checking the time as he rolls out of bed, his only priority is shoo-ing away the visitor and returning to his cocoon of blankets.
He stumbles to his front door, eyes only half opened. His sleep shirt clings to the sweat of his back and he doesn’t even think to look down and make sure his boxers are decent enough for company.
His hair is stuck to his sweaty forehead, he knows he smells like illness and bed sweat. There’s probably a little bit of vomit on his t-shirt... and Sehun is probably the last person he wants to see him in this state. Yet, there is the college student on his doorstep, holding a tupperware filled with something and gazing at Kyungsoo worredly.
“Hi hyung,” Sehun says quietly, as if the volume of his voice has any impact on Kyungsoo’s illness.
“Hi Sehun,” Kyungsoo scratches out, the words being the first he’s said all day. “Did you not get my text? I’m sorry, but I’m--”
“No, no. I got your text,” Sehun cuts in. “I don’t want to bother you. I just… well, you said you were sick so I made you some juk and I thought I would drop it by and make sure you are okay.”
Oh. No one has made Kyungsoo juk when he was sick since he still lived at home with his mother.
Does Sehun even know how to make juk?
Sehun delicately passes him the small, still-warm container before quietly wishing Kyungsoo well and disappearing down the hallway. Kyungsoo isn’t sure if it actually happened in slow motion, or if he’s just that delirious. Either way, he shuts his apartment door and grabs a spoon from the kitchen.
Normally, he would never eat in bed; but, he’ll make a special exception due to illness. As he lifts the lid of the container, he smells the comforting scent of rice and mushrooms. It reminds him of home. He takes a spoonful to his mouth, blowing to cool it before taking a cautious bite.
It’s too salty, and there’s a few flavors missing, but Kyungsoo still finishes the bowl. It settles nicely in his stomach, filling him with the kind of warmth that has him curling back into his pillow with a smile on his lips.
X
Still a bit hung up about making Baekhyun feel bad, Kyungsoo decides to invite Chanyeol along for one of their movie nights after he’s fully recovered. He knows the gesture will not only show Baekhyun his willingness to get to know Chanyeol, but also serve as an induction of sorts to their friend group; a real welcoming that reaches beyond being a helpful neighbor and into the territory of friendship. As such, he also extends the invitation to Jongdae and Sehun.
Sehun arrives first, a few minutes early.
“Hyung, I didn’t know you wore glasses,” Sehun observes as Kyungsoo invites him inside.
“Oh,” Kyungsoo reaches to touch the spectacles he forgot he's still wearing, “Yeah, I’m actually blind.” He says rather lamely, but Sehun gives him one of his rare smiles before settling on the couch.
Jongdae arrives minutes later, and immediately takes to Sehun, plopping himself on the couch beside the college student and grilling him about every aspect of his life. Much like Baekhyun, Jongdae has never been shy around new people. Kyungsoo observes from the kitchen as Sehun squirms under Jongdae’s enthusiastic interrogation. He laughs to himself at the scene.
Baekhyun and Chanyeol arrive last, of course. Chanyeol’s hair is suspiciously tousled, and Kyungsoo’s pretty sure that Baekhyun’s shirts’ buttons are all off by one. He clicks his tongue at the both of them.
The couple also squeezes themselves onto the couch, Baekhyun half in Chanyeol’s lap. Jongdae -- like a child shown a new toy -- immediately shifts his line of questioning to Chanyeol, who is much more eager to divulge personal details. Kyungsoo throws a small, private smile to Sehun when their eyes meet, almost as if he’s rewarding him for surviving his first conversation with Jongdae.
After he pulls up the movie and sets out the popcorn, Kyungsoo turns his attention to Baekhyun with a focused stare. “Now, I’m going to turn out the lights. Don’t do anything funny on my couch.” He also throws a serious look to Chanyeol in warning.
Baekhyun playfully sticks his tongue out, before snuggling even closer to Chanyeol in a showy gesture. “You’re just jealous because you’ve been tragically single for ages.” He says airily.
Kyungsoo scowls.
“That’s his ‘I’m going to murder Baekhyun’ look that he’s perfected over the years,” Jongdae fake whispers into Sehun’s ear.
“Yes, it is. And I will,” Kyungsoo remarks darkly, eyes still zeroed in on Baekhyun before he flicks of the lights.
Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongdae prove to be a very vocal audience as Inside Out plays on the screen, but Kyungsoo doesn’t really mind. Actually, it’s quite nice to see Chanyeol getting along so well with Jongdae and to observe his coupley dynamic with Baekhyun. They really do appear to be on the same frequency, and Kyungsoo’s heart swells with affection watching how happy Baekhyun is as he mindlessly runs his fingers along the hair of Chanyeol’s nape and laughs at all of his (rather lame) jokes.
Sehun, even, throws in a few remarks about his own childhood memories that correspond with the film. Apparently he had an imaginary friend named Mr Twinkles -- a fact Chanyeol provided, not Sehun, causing his cheeks to burn so pink that Kyungsoo could make out his blush even in under the dimmed lights.
When the final credits roll, Kyungsoo rises from the couch to turn on the lights while the rest of the group takes turns in the bathroom.
“So,” Jongdae says playfully loud, seating himself beside Sehun once again. “Chanyeol has Baekhyun, what about you? Anyone special?”
Kyungsoo isn’t too interested, really, but he is a little curious. Sehun never talks about anyone he’s seeing. Kyungsoo tries his best to watch the conversation from the corner of his eyes as he picks up the beer cans to put in the recycling bin.
Sehun’s mouth opens and closes a few times before he shakes his head, “No, um, no one at the moment.”
Kyungsoo feels a little relieved knowing that Sehun hasn’t been keeping something as significant as a relationship from him in all the time they’ve spent together.
“Aw, that’s too bad. You’re a pretty handsome guy,” Jongdae pouts, patting Sehun’s back. “Surely there’s someone you have your eyes on?”
Kyungsoo doesn't miss the way Sehun’s eyes nervously flick toward him, but he writes it off as a distress signal.
“Honestly, Jongdae, you sound like my Grandma whenever I visit home. Lay off the kid.” He chides as he returns to the living room, watching as Sehun tries to subtly scoot away from under Jongdae’s arm -- which is still wrapped around his shoulders.
“Fine, fine,” Jongdae relents, laughing good naturedly. “I guess I’ll stick to teasing you then. How long have you been single now?” Jongdae cocks his head playfully.
“Eighteen months!” Baekhyun shouts excitedly, as if he’s on a gameshow. Kyungsoo doesn’t know who he wants to glare at more in the moment, Jongdae or Bakehyun. “But he hasn’t adopted a cat yet, so we shouldn’t be too concerned.”
“I’ve always wanted a cat, but I’m too allergic,” Chanyeol says forlornly, turning all attention to him and thankfully away from Kyungsoo (and Sehun’s) singleness.
Everyone files out by midnight, and -- embarrassing personal stories that Baekhyun should not have shared aside -- Kyungsoo calls the night a success. So much of a success that he even agrees to have everyone over again some time soon for another movie night.
X
There are banging sounds in the hallway. Banging sounds followed by an incoherent stream of mumbles.
Kyungsoo tries his best to wait out the sounds, so he can return to dreamland, but they persist. In fact, they get louder and soon he hears something hard falling against his own front door, followed by a very dejected grunt. He’s had a long week at work, and all he wants is to be dead to world for the next 12 hours. The world has other plans though, as someone is apparently playing body bumper cars in the hallway in the dead of the night.
He squints his eyes open to focus on the clock display on his nightstand.
2:07am.
He knows he may regret it, but he still rises from bed and walks through his dark apartment to the front door. He can’t see anything through the peephole, and that makes him all the more anxious. He has nothing to defend himself, so he pulls his umbrella out of the bin and clutches in his fist, using his left hand to unlock the door.
After he undoes the dead bolt and pulls the door open, he sees a slumped over figure on the hallway floor, almost perfectly between his own door and apartment 404. As he slowly approaches -- umbrella at the ready to strike at any moment -- he begins to make out the distinctive patch of brown hair he’s come to know very well over the past three months.
“Sehun?”
“Mmffroo?” The lump that is Sehun grumbles into the hallway carpeting.
As he bends down to rest his hand against Sehun’s shoulder, the smell of alcohol overwhelms him.
“Oh Jesus, what have you been up to?” Kyungsoo asks more himself than Sehun.
Sehun half turns, half rolls to face Kyungsoo, lips pulled into a kittenish smile. “Drunking. Lots of shoots.”
“I couldn’t tell,” Kyungsoo says flatly as he contemplates how to hoist Sehun up and off the dirty hallway floor. Sehun complies as Kyungsoo tucks his hand under Sehun’s arm to prop him up properly. Once he’s sitting precariously against the wall, Sehun looks up through his lashes, and a look of recognition finally crosses his features and he smiles fondly.
“Kyungsoo hyung,” He slurs, eyes closing as his smile widens.
“Yes?”
“I have good,” a hiccup, “news.” Kyungsoo’s eyes catch the way Sehun’s eyelashes cast the faintest of shadows along his cheekbones as they fall shut.
“Oh?”
“I passed my testh!” Sehun, with his eyes still closed tries to wave his arms in celebration, but instead they flop dangerously close to Kyungsoo’s face.
“That’s very good,” Kyungsoo coos, only half sarcastically.
Sehun’s face falls, “But now I can’t find my door opener.”
Kyungsoo groans. It’s after 2am, and he already knows from Baekhyun that Chanyeol sleeps like a brick. There’s probably no point in knocking on his neighbor’s door. He could chance a text to Baekhyun, but that doesn’t guarantee a response at this hour either. Baekhyun’s also a heavy sleeper.
He’ll have to take the drunk lump of Sehun in for the night.
Kyungsoo hasn’t dealt with someone this drunk in a while, but he remembers the drill well enough from college. “Now, I’m going to help you stand up. Can you stand up?”
Sehun gives a noncommittal grunt.
It takes a lot of rearranging, commanding, and banging of limbs into the wall, but Kyungsoo finally manages to get Sehun upright enough to pull him through his front door and place him -- very ungracefully -- on the couch.
“Wait, this isn’t my apartment.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Where is my apartment?”
“It’s still next door. Don’t worry, it won’t go anywhere. I’m not about to call the super at two in the morning because you’re drunk and lost your keys. He already hates me enough as it is. So you’ll stay here tonight.” Kyungsoo says as he goes to pour Sehun a glass of water in the kitchen.
“Hates you? Who could hate you?”
Kyungsoo shrugs as he re-enters the living room.
“But you’re wonderful. The best hyung.” Sehun mumbles into a pillow, muddling his sloppy smile.
“What?”
“Kyungsoo hyung is the best hyung!” Sehun shouts, attempting to throw his arms in the air in some form of celebration before he continues, “my favorite hyung... after Luhan hyung.”
Kyungsoo’s fist tightens unwillingly on the glass he’s holding at the mention of this mysterious Luhan Hyung who has apparently one upped him in a competition he didn’t even care about. Really.
“Luhan hyung?”
“Mmm… Luhan Hyung is my favorite hyung.”
“Really?” Kyungsoo seats himself on the coffee table directly in front of Sehun and his faraway gaze.
“Luhan hyung has always takes care of me…. But Kyungsoo hyung is different.”
“Oh? Why?” Kyungsoo forgot how much talking to a drunk college kid is like talking to a toddler.
“Because….” a look of intense affection overcomes the drunken haze in his eyes as Sehun locks gazes with Kyungsoo. “I don’t want to kiss Luhan hyung,” Sehun whispers before his lips curl into a impish grin.
Kyungsoo swears his stomach not only falls out his bum, but crashes through all four storeys of the apartment building and lodges itself somewhere in the concrete foundation.
Sehun giggles, leaning in closer to Kyungsoo -- and for one god awful second Kyungsoo thinks Sehun is going to act out his desire in that moment. However, Sehun’s mouth finds itself near Kyungsoo’s ear, warm breath fanning against his skin.
“But it’s a secret,” Sehun whispers playfully, lisp more prominent with his drunken slurring, “don’t tell.” He pulls away, looking awfully proud of himself.
Kyungsoo rises quickly from the coffee table, relieved -- but strangely disenchanted -- when Sehun passes out seconds later. He throws a blanket over him carefully and returns to his room.
However, Sehun’s words keep him in a restless half-sleep well into the morning.
Kyungsoo awakes to an empty couch the following morning. The only sign of Sehun’s presence being the throw blanket neatly folded over the edge cushion.
He wonders if Sehun has the sense to not take any medicine on an empty stomach, but he doesn’t wonder why such worried thoughts plague him as he switches his coffee pot on. Knowing Sehun, the kid probably awoke and made an immediate bee-line for the medicine cabinet in search of some form of relief from the imminent headache that is surely plaguing him. College kids don’t know better, and hangovers produce a one track mind.
His worrying over Sehun is disrupted by Baekhyun, who has taken to popping in for breakfast some weekends, since he’s ‘already in the neighborhood.’
“Why don’t you ever have Chanyeol over at your place?” Kyungsoo asks as Baekhyun swirls his cereal across from him.
Baekhyun shrugs, “Eh, this is closer to my office. More central for both of us. Sehun doesn’t mind.”
“Sure he doesn’t,” Kyungsoo grumbles under his breath, thinking of exactly how many times Sehun has had to seek refuge on his couch in the evenings.
“Oh! Speaking of Sehun! He stumbled in at 7:30 this morning looking like he had quite a wild night,” Baekhyun exaggeratedly winks, “If you know what I mean.”
Kyungsoo remembers Sehun slumped over in the hallway, the earnest smile on his face when he told Kyungsoo that he passed his exam. His mind then drifts to Sehun’s confession and suddenly his stomach is in knots.
“But go him,” Baekhyun continues excitedly, earning back Kyungsoo’s attention. “I hope he had fun with whoever kept him out all night.”
Kyungsoo doesn’t know why he doesn’t cut in and correct Baekhyun, tell him that Sehun slept on his couch. Instead, he keeps his lips in a firm line, nodding along with Baekhyun’s imaginative speculations of Sehun’s ‘wild night.’
It’s not that he’s scared of the implications of revealing the truth -- he was just being a good neighbor afterall. But somehow, it doesn’t feel like his business to share. It’s something he’d rather forget about in a vain hope that his next encounter with Sehun won’t be awkward beyond belief.
X
Avoiding neighbors simply isn’t possible. Kyungsoo knows this, but he still has allowed himself to hope. It is, however, inevitable that he bumps into Sehun in the corridor outside their apartments the following Wednesday morning.
When he hears the door of 404 creaking open he scrunches his eyes shut, lips moving in a silent prayer that it will be Chanyeol who emerges into the hall. When he chances a look over though, it’s Sehun who is peering at him cautiously.
“Hey Hyung,” Sehun says, waving a hand in greeting as he locks his door with the other.
“Hello, Sehun,” Kyungsoo says stiffly, trying to combat the awkward atmosphere.
“I’m sorry about last Friday. I woke up on your couch, so I’m assuming you took me in for the evening. I didn’t mean to run off, but... “ Sehun runs a hand through his hair and for some reason it makes Kyungsoo all the more flustered, “... Honestly, I was really embarrassed. I know I was probably a mess. I don’t drink a lot, and now I remember why that is.”
“It’s fine…” Kyungsoo stutters a bit, Sehun is looking at him so sheepishly it’s a little disarming. “It was no problem. You passed out pretty quickly once I got you inside.”
Sehun breathes a sigh of relief, but his cheeks are still tinted with the hints of lingering embarrassment. “Ah, well that’s good. You really didn’t have to take care of me.”
“The other option was letting you sleep in the hallway…” Kyungsoo tries to joke, but it comes out too harsh. He watches Sehun blink in confusion. It’s so frustrating, because Sehun doesn’t seem to remember any of it. But Kyungsoo does. He remembers the confident expression on Sehun’s drunken face as he used the words ‘kiss’ and ‘Kyungsoo’ in the same sentence; the way he’d leaned in a little too close; the involuntary shiver and subsequent disenchantment that came when Sehun pulled away.
It terrifies him.
He doesn’t want to let himself wonder what would happen if Sehun actually did act on his desire -- drunken or otherwise. Yet somehow, his eyes are drawn to Sehun’s lips, permanently set in a mix between a pout and scowl… and no, this is not what he should be thinking about at eight twenty in the morning.
“I was thinking of a way to make it up to you,” Sehun says cautiously, pulling Kyungsoo from his thoughts. He moves closer to Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo fights the urge to take a few steps back, leave a distance between them.
“You don’t have to, really it’s more than fine.” Kyungsoo says kindly, but dismissively.
“Actually,” Sehun looks down at his feet for a moment before meeting Kyungsoo’s gaze, “I have two tickets to the drama department’s production of Twelfth Night. I remember you said you always liked Shakespeare back in college, so I thought… you might… want to go with me?”
Red flags are flying everywhere in Kyungsoo’s mind, and he’s pretty sure his nervous system is in full flight or fight mode. His mind is running wild with images of Sehun and himself, sitting close together in a dark theatre theatre. Sehun remembering little details he only told him in passing. Sehun asking to spend time together outside of their little neighbors-who’s-best-friend’s-are-dating arrangement. It’s all too much.
Despite the inward panic, he manages to control his expression into a cordial enough smile.
“That’s really kind of you to remember, Sehun,” He says too formally, too forced. “But maybe… maybe you should use that extra ticket to take someone else. Someone you’re interested in and don’t just owe a favor to.”
A flash of hurt crosses Sehun’s features, subtle as always, but Kyungsoo is familiar enough now to catch it.
“Actually Hyung…” He starts, playing with his own fingers, a new nervous tick Kyungsoo has never observed before. “I…”
No. Kyungsoo knows what’s coming, and he’s not ready. Whether it’s to break Sehun’s heart or deal with his own feelings he’s not sure. All he knows is he has to escape.
“Sorry, but I’m running late for work, and I really need to run.” He interrupts. “Thanks for inviting me, and I hope you find someone to take.” The last sentence comes out in a rush as he gives one final nod to Sehun before taking off down the hallway.
He doesn’t turn back to see Sehun’s defeated expression.
X
Sehun doesn’t knock on his door that Thursday to study, nor the next. Kyungsoo tries not to read too much into it, but he knows Baekhyun has been over both weeks.
(He knows Sehun is avoiding him. But that’s what he should want, right?)
By the third Thursday, Kyungsoo has seen no sign of Sehun. He’s heard nothing from next door aside from Chanyeol’s routine collisions with household furniture and the sharp barks of Baekhyun’s occasional laughter.
His heart about jumps out of his chest when there’s a sudden knock to his door. He nervously runs a hand through his hair as he approaches the door, biting his lip as he looks through the peephole.
Kyungsoo’s not sure why his heart drops a little when he sees Baekhyun standing on the other side of the door, tapping his foot impatiently.
“Movie night?” Baekhyun says with too much energy once Kyungsoo opens the door, pushing past Kyungsoo and into the apartment.
Oh well, at least it’s nice to have company, Kyungsoo tells himself.
“Sehun’s been a little mopey lately,” Baekhyun comments a few minutes into the film, reaching for the popcorn on the table. “I’m kind of worried about him,” He says, mouth now full of kernels.
Kyungsoo is very aware of what Baekhyun is doing, but he won’t give in.
“Oh, really? That’s too bad.” Kyungsoo shrugs, keeping his eyes on the screen.
“That’s it?” Baekhyun turns to Kyungsoo, “I tell you your neighbor, who you are reasonably close with, your study buddy, has been all sad and mopey for the past three weeks and all you have to say is ‘that’s too bad’?”
“What do you want me to say?” Kyungsoo asks plainly.
“I don’t know, maybe that you’re worried about him? Maybe you’ll tell me what happened because I know for a fact he’s been avoiding your apartment like it’s been under quarantine for the past few weeks?”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo sighs. He doesn’t want to lie to Baekhyun, but he doesn’t really want to tell him everything either. Because Baekhyun isn’t the kind to let things lie, he’ll pick and pry until he knows every detail; until he figures out what Kyungsoo doesn’t even want to acknowledge himself.
The air is quiet and tense for a few minutes before Baekhyun inhales heavily, pausing the movie and turning his full attention to Kyungsoo.
“Why are you trying to hard to talk yourself out of something you clearly want?”
“What?”
“Look, I’m going to let you in on a secret but only because best friend overrides boyfriend in this circumstance,” Baekhyun says with the righteous kind of tone that drives Kyungsoo mad.
Kyungsoo glares over at Baekhyun; as if Baekhyun has ever kept anything a secret, ever.
“Sehun’s been smitten with you since day one. And not in the ‘oh I have a hot older neighbor way’ but in the he really likes you way. He even made you juk when you were sick!”
“Tried,” Kyungsoo corrects quickly, “tried to make juk.” He grimaces at the memory as if that will distract Baekhyun from the blush of his cheeks. How does Baekhyun even know about the juk?
“Yeah whatever. You still ate it up like a lovesick schoolboy, I bet. And then returned his tupperware washed the next day.”
Kyungsoo refuses to acknowledge Baekhyun either way. (he returned it two days later, thank you.)
“Point is. He likes you. You like him. It’s okay to like him.”
“I don’t like him, not like that. He’s a kid, Baekhyun. A kid.” Kyungsoo throws his arms up for emphasis.
“He’s not a kid and you know it. All I’m saying is, okay he’s a little younger, but maybe that’ll be good for you.” Baekhyun leans back into the cushion, twiddling his fingers. “And you didn’t even seem surprised to find out he likes you, which makes me think there’s something you’re not telling me. But whatever. He still likes you, and you still are most definitely interested. I saw the way you looked at him when Jongdae was teasing about him dating. You were making that weird ‘I’m anxious but I’m trying to look disinterested’ face that you think no one notices.”
Kyungsoo groans, shaking his head stubbornly. Why is Baekhyun always so observant? “I’ve never dated someone younger. I like structure, maturity. Someone with a career, regular income. Lives are still so up in the air at 22. It’s too uncertain to become involved with.”
Baekhyun inhales heavily, obviously exasperated. “Age doesn’t determine maturity, you should know that better than anyone since you’ve been mentally 65 since middle school.” Kyungsoo wants to butt in, but Baekhyun continues. “And, Sehun is mature, with focus and a career path. You’re just too determined to write him off, that you’re missing all the good qualities.”
“That doesn’t mean he’s my type.”
“Okay but, your ‘type’ have all turned out to be assholes with sticks up their bums. Remember that one time when you accidentally farted at Jongdae’s dinner party and instead of laughing like the rest of us, Joonmyun had to go find Febreze? Is that really what you want? Someone who can’t even laugh when you pass gas and turn as red as a tomato?”
Leave it to Baekhyun to both embarrass and sass Kyungsoo in the same breath.
After Baekhyun finishes chuckling to himself, he looks at Kyungsoo with a new mischevious smirk. “Plus, have you seen the butt on Sehun?”
“Baekhyun!”
“I’m telling you, two gumdrops on a set of toothpicks. Don’t even pretend you haven’t noticed.” Baekhyun purses his lips in admiration, shaking his head in agreement with himself.
Kyungsoo locks his jaw, refusing to acknowledge anything Baekhyun is saying, about Sehun’s assets or affections.
While Kyungsoo stubbornly stays silent, Baekhyun rises from the couch, moving to grab his coat.
“Well, I think my work here is done. Call me when you make that ass yours.”
It’s only after the door slams shut that Kyungsoo realizes that he’d been ambushed, the movie still paused 22 minutes in.
X
Kyungsoo spends Friday doing his best to block out Baekhyun’s words, and all the imagery that accompanied it. He doesn’t want to think about how mature Sehun is, or how perky his ass may be. He wants things to go back to normal. He wants Sehun to knock on his door and sit on his couch and be just another dongsaeng that Kyungsoo enjoys spending time with.
He meant what he said about twenty-two being too uncertain of an age. He remembers being that young, feeling like the world was full of multiple paths he could take. Even if he were interested in Sehun, he can’t guarantee that Sehun will stay interested in him once the world expands beyond his college campus.
Perhaps that’s what scares him most.
Kyungsoo has thought things were certain before, only to watch them fall apart months later: Hyunsik lost interest, Joonmyun was promoted and moved away from Seoul. Sehun is… too much of a wildcard to risk his heart on. Right?
Yet, when he dreams that night, he dreams of gumdrops floating in juk. He hears Sehun’s muted laughter, as his memory flashes with visions of Sehun’s eyelashes fanned across his half-lidded eyes. He sees himself and Sehun curled together on his couch, just like the way Baekhyun and Chanyeol had been.
Despite the overwhelming obviousness of the images, Kyungsoo isn’t anxious in the dream. He feels warm.
He wakes late in the morning feeling well rested, but like he’s missing something he didn’t even know he had.
Then, as he pours his coffee half an hour later, it hits him: Sehun’s been stable all along. Sehun’s the one who knocked on his door week after week, who checked in on Kyungsoo when he was feeling ill; the one who did everything in his power to let Kyungsoo know he was there. Sure, Sehun might be young with a future ahead of him, but he’s never faltered in his affections for Kyungsoo, not even when Kyungsoo called him a kid at every opportunity -- pushed him away.
Kyungsoo can see it now, the way Sehun’s gaze has always flicked to him. Even more importantly he sees the way he himself always been slightly pre-occupied with figuring Sehun out, with earning his trust, with observing the college student. The reason Sehun could never be another special dongsaeng like Jongin, was because he’s never been just a dongsaeng. He’s been a friend, a source of comfort, someone Kyungsoo can pass a remarkable amount of comfortable silences with.
Someone…. Kyungsoo is interested in, no matter how much he tries to fight it.
And no, forever’s not certain, just like Baekhyun has said about Chanyeol. But there’s a chance to be happy with that risk. Kyungsoo’s never been one for taking huge risks -- especially with his heart -- but has Sehun given him any reason to doubt?
It’s with this firm resolve that Kyungsoo sets his coffee cup on the counter with a bang. He’s then walking out his own front door without even realizing it, stomping down the corridor still in his PJ’s. At least he brushed his teeth, he thinks as he raises a fist to knock on the door of apartment 404.
Unsurprisingly, it’s Baekhyun who answers.
“Well, good morning,” Baekhyun smiles knowingly. “What brings you by so early? Popping in for breakfast?”
“Which door is Sehun’s?” Kyungsoo asks.
“The one on the left.” Baekhyun says sweetly, moving aside to let Kyungsoo in.
Kyungsoo’s never stormed anyone’s apartment to declare his affections before, this is terrifying territory, but it doesn’t stop him from knocking on the bedroom door on the left with a determined knock.
“Come in,” He hears, and he takes one final breath before turning the knob and shutting the door behind him.
Kyungsoo only realizes that it’s his first time in Sehun’s bedroom as the door shuts behind him. He wants to spend time appreciating how bare and clean the space is -- and how Sehun has organized all the book on his shelves not only by spine height but why width as well -- but he has more important matters to deal with.
Yes, even the tell-tale clamoring of Baekhyun and Chanyeol to listen against the closed door cannot deter him from the mission at hand.
While Kyungsoo takes a few seconds to adjust to the space, Sehun uses the time to rise from his desk by the window. He stands unsure, several feet away from Kyungsoo. He’s fully dressed, unlike Kyungsoo. His eyes are clouded over with caution and question and Kyungsoo can’t help the ping in his chest that comes from the fact that he knows he is the cause of it all.
So, he gives one heavy inhale before he begins.
“You. Me. Date.” He says in three separate breaths, pointing between himself and Sehun for emphasis.
”Why is he talking like a caveman?” He hears from behind the closed door.
Sehun freezes on the spot, notebook dangling precariously from his hand, halfway to being placed down on his desk. His expression unreadable aside from the faintest caution in his eyes.
“What was that, hyung?” He utters, trepidation laced in every word.
“You, and me. We should go on a date. I want to take you out on a date.” Kyungsoo clarifies.
“But I asked you out like three weeks ago and you said I should take someone else,” Sehun says sadly, confusedly.
“First of all, I didn’t know you were asking me out. Well, I sort of knew. But, second, I was scared. Of liking you.”
“Oh.” Sehun breathes out.
“But I do. Like you, that is.” Kyungsoo has never been one to mince words, and confessing is proving to be more than a little frustrating for him. But he decides it’s better to just let it all out than waste his time trying to find the exact right words to say. “Yes, you’re young. But you’re also responsible, and calm and kind of frustratingly attractive. And even when I’m not thinking about how stupidly lovely your half smile is, I’m not thinking about how young you are either. I’m thinking about how much I like the way you can sit on my couch with me for hours and not annoy me -- even Baekhyun can’t do that.”
“Okay, hyung. I think I get it,” Sehun cuts him off.
“Do you? Because that was really difficult for me, and I’m on a roll. So if you want to hear me pour my heart out, now is your only chance. I’m not going to say it again,” Kyungsoo warns, entirely serious.
“This is so cheesy. I’m gonna tease him about this for decades…” Both Sehun and Kyungsoo look to the closed door, remembering they have a not-so-secret audience.
Kyungsoo’s not sure what expression he’s currently sporting by now -- probably something that’s half annoyed, half nervous resulting in a look of constipation -- but Sehun doesn’t seem to mind. Instead, he laughs under his breath, turning his attention back to Kyungsoo.
“You won’t say it again? Even the you liking me part?” Sehun looks up hopefully. He takes a step closer to Kyungsoo, who makes no move to retreat. Instead he squints as threateningly as possible when his heart is hammering so hard in his chest.
“You’re pushing your luck, right now.” He warns. Sehun only steps playfully closer. Kyungsoo doesn’t even want to smack the smug look off Sehun’s face.
“Okay. I won’t push you, hyung.” Sehun says calmly, that small smile he seems to have only for Kyungsoo on his lips. He wants Sehun to always look at him like that. It’s not a look of heat and passion, but rather a tranquil fondness -- and appreciation. The side of Kyungsoo’s mouth twitches into a half-smile, eyes moving rapidly to take in every shift of Sehun’s expression as he approaches. “But I don’t want you to take me out, either.”
“What?” Kyungsoo chokes out. Is Sehun rejecting him? While smiling so sweetly?
“I believe I asked you out first -- whether you were fully aware of it or not. So I feel that I should be the one to take you out. Just for the first date. You’re welcome to take the lead on the second.” Sehun’s hand reaches forward just slightly before falling back, nerves winning out.
Kyungsoo laughs, nodding his head in agreement. He boldly reaches forward to grab Sehun’s hand in his own. It feels right, the way Sehun’s fingers automatically card through his own -- the warmth of Sehun’s palm against his skin.
“Okay,” Kyungsoo whispers in agreement.
“I can’t hear anything. Are they kissing yet?” Kyungsoo and Sehun groan in unision.
“Not if you keep killing the mood!” Kyungsoo shouts at the door. Turning back to roll his eyes at Sehun.
“Can I?” Sehun asks hesitantly, eyes focused on Kyungsoo’s lips. “Kiss you?”
“As long as you don’t tell me Luhan hyung is your favorite hyung right before you do it,” Kyungsoo says, only half joking.
Sehun’s eyes promptly widen in mortification as he cheeks flush. “Oh god, I told you… and then…”
Kyungsoo wants to lean back and appreciate the view -- Sehun’s cheeks a lovely shade of pink as he stutters helplessly. Instead he stands on his tip toes to place a quick kiss to Sehun’s lips, catching him by surprise and causing him to flush even more.
“You get the first date, so I get the first kiss. It’s only fair.”
A/N
it's only pg-13 'cause baekyeol bone all the time.
So I wrote sesoo? This is my first sesoo, and as I said, I wrote it for a dear friend. So Diem, you know how much i struggled with his, and I hope you are content simply with the fact that it exists in some completed form. I am so very sorry it was late, (and poopy), but I hope it made you smile a little bit.
Everyone else, I would like to point out that I provided options, and she chose baekyeol as the side pairing. (much to my glee). I only realized while editing this fic that i also live in apartment 404 -- but I am not Korean, so I maintain the superstition won’t affect me.
Now, everyone go wish Diem a happy (very late) birthday!!!
(I’m also on twitter~)