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[noonooblue]

It's weird how some people just know you. They know you better than people who have known you your whole life. It's weird how they just have some secret key, that unlocks so many areas of your mind. It's such a weird sensation to be the key to someone elses life. It's alot of infomation, alot of trust. I guess there are people that can care for you

Comments

[carrion_bird]

The things you've said here about exclusivity and people caring...especially, "But you have to wonder if they care for everyone like they care for you," are things I thought only I was insecure enough to think about. I'm gradually hacking my way out of that...gettling less jealous of the attention some people give others as opposed to me...it's hard when someone to whom you used to be very special indeed makes other friends and suddenly doesn't even talk much to you anymore.

I used to fear the dark and pull the covers over my head at night when I was younger, as if it would somehow fool the ghosts into leaving me alone, or keep them from noticing me. I was certain the ghosts were there, waiting for me to fall asleep so that they could grab my ankles.

And now the dark is like a warm blanket I wrap myself up in...I come alive at night in a way I can never quite touch during the day, and feel as if I can shine with the stars.

[noonooblue]

I used to put the covers over my head also!! It makes me laugh so much. I really thought I could trick them. I remember sweating to death in the summer trying to hide from the ghost people. I think I dip in and out of possesiveness. If someone is possessive of me I feel strangely free. I think I get secure in their blanketing. I am very intrigued with possession. I think I can get hypnotized by people very easily and I confuse being controled as being cared for. I dunno, I just switch from either side constantly. I guess I wanna cool my intensity, or just find something more productive to do with it.

[carrion_bird]

Better to find something productive to do with it, I think, with the kind of raw energy that's there...the problem is one of consistancy, though.

I understand the freedom in being possessed...to me it's possibly freedom from wandering aimlessly, having something/someone to be anchored to...or maybe the idea that I must be important to someone if they would become possessive of me. I have been in situations of mutual possessiveness...powerful stuff. It's arguable whether it's a "good" thing or a "bad" thing...I think it's good until something goes wrong or interrupts it...not sure.