(no subject)
well, i've lost faith in almost ALMOST all of the friendships ive been maintaining, so i plan on aborting various wasted efforts. thought i would forewarn everyone, although nobody will be particularly devistated. i feel like only a few people i associate with genuinely like me. and understandably so. i am a socially retarded, rather obnoxious, dykey, underachieving, (apperantly masochistic) burden. i have redeeming qualities, yes, but i understand that people with more significantly redeeming qualities are more desirable to associate with. basically im going back to my 7th grade state of volentary seclusion and passiveness. i'll probably start reading more and hanging out in the library at lunch. i hope nobody is detecting any remorse in my narration because believe me you, ill enjoy the state im embarking on far more than the social blunders i commit every day. ive resigned to the fact that i am antisocial and i plan on avoiding situations in which this fact will be emphasized. i can't think how ill possibly entertain myself. i can't remember what i did in 7th grade... read, sulked (there will be no sulking now), andddddddd can't think of anything.
i can't read emotions registering on others faces and that makes for difficulty in communication.
and inability to face-read is also a symtom shared by many sociopaths, murderers, and rapists. yeah! woo!