12 days to communication black out for i dont know how long. Graduation might as well be a dress rehearsal for all i will have time to do anything other than march, strip/change clothes and pack up to vanish first thing in the morning. its going to be amazingly difficult with 5 guests staying in my apartment at least. Existential fears and having ( Read more... )

i think the motto of my life is: stress will kill you. recent additions to the stress load of school have given me new pause to contemplate the value of my life, especially in light of symptoms (that led me to a specialist) of heart attacks. These have since been tested and proven false, but it remains that my body is telling me i am shunting too ( Read more... )

midterm grades. 4 A's. Right across the board. May not matter though, battles with the state on two fronts costing time and money, and now with recent health concerns (and family history) i have to see a specialist next week about some thing or other again. No matter what people take from me, i hope its that they learn there is always something ( Read more... )

So, holding head above water here, trying my best to remain reachable in times of need, and not doing so well. Aside from having to read X-thousands of pages by spring break for mid terms (reading and essay HEAVY semester) the world has decided to give me 4 weeks of hell before my birthday this past saturday without much sign of really letting up, ( Read more... )

taking just a moment here to let people know that i still live! this has been a very long and difficult semester, and finals are upon us, so the work builds to a crescendo now and i barely have any time to even sleep. hasnt been a bed of roses to be sure, and i miss seeing people and doing things other than writing papers. This semester saw me ( Read more... )

There is no one in this world who has not and does not struggle in some way to make it through every day, no one. We struggle to find a place we can have a measure of happiness in our lives, struggle to reach a better place for ourselves and our loved ones. We move forward, pushing against the things that try to hold us back, without knowing what ( Read more... )

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2001/nov/03/aids.chrismcgreal

http://www.memritv.org/clip/en/0/0/0/0/0/0/1903.htm

http://music.todaysbigthing.com/2008/10/27

its been a long time since i posted an update on myself, but then again there have been things that needed doing, and doing in silence, and this has been a lengthy period of self-reflection and re-purposing. I have always said it takes a phenomenal amount of energy to be the person i am, and when it has to be directed at something else, i tend to ( Read more... )