(no subject)
Norolinde: Gooooooooooooooooooooorliiiiiiiiiiiim? Look, I can talk now.
Gorlim: *looks at her, hesitant*
Norolinde: ::pouts:: And I can even walk, too. Are you cold? Ully was cold, but she felt so hot . . .
Gorlim: .......*stares at her, tense*
Norolinde: ::sighs and folds her hands in her lap:: Fair enough. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have expected more of you. Thank you for helping look after me when I was sick. The healers said you visited sometimes.
Gorlim: *softly* Are you better?
Norolinde: ::frowns:: Physically?
Gorlim: Any way.
Norolinde: ::shrugs loosely:: Sometimes I think so. I lost a baby, Gorlim. ::sadly:: The one thing in life I was made to do, and I messed it up.
Gorlim: *watches her, face unreadable, something between sorrow and fear and.... and something else*
Norolinde: I . . . I don't want to be held right now. I want to hold.
Gorlim: Will you hurt?
Norolinde: When I hold . . . I held Ully, for a little while, and it made the hurt less.
Gorlim: You can hold me if you want to...
Norolinde: Do I go to you or do you come to me? What are the rules . . .
Gorlim: There are no rules. I'll be still, if you want me to be.
Norolinde: . . . ::stands and wraps her arms around his neck, tugging him gently down to her height and holding him tight::
Gorlim: *He lets himself be held, and even after a time allows himself to hold her back tentatively. Still afraid from what she's done to him, but he has missed her.... missed her so much. Still tense and unmoving, but very much there...*
Norolinde: ::strokes his hair softly, humming tunelessly to herself the lullabies she never got to sing to her babies::
Gorlim: *wrinkles his nose and blinks, trying not to listen to the music*
Norolinde: ::pulls him just the tiniest bit tighter for a moment before letting him back to his former position:: You . . . if you want to, you can let go.
Gorlim: Do you want me to?
Norolinde: I . . . if you go, I'll find Ully, or Perrin, or . . . or whoever'll let me hold them. I can't be alone.
Gorlim: I'll stay, then.
Norolinde: ::nods slightly:: I . . . thank you. I'm . . . ::shutting her eyes, she renews the hug, pouring her passion and fire for the safety of her children into keeping *him* safe, for the while he's in her arms::
Gorlim: *it's a very new sensation, being held and kept safe by her instead of hurt by her. He lets himself stay there, calm and still, for as long as she lokes, lost in thought*
Norolinde: ::trembles slightly:: You're . . . you're so cold, Gorlim. ::blinks up at him, half-frightened, before breaking the embrace and snagging a blanket to throw over his shoulders:: You're so cold, and you still don't eat, do you, and there are shadows under your eyes . . .
Gorlim: *fidgets meekly* I've been watching over you and Ully and Halbarad, he got poisoned too...
Norolinde: ::frowns:: I don't understand what happened to Ully.
Gorlim: Poison. It got into something. No one knows what yet. Halbarad got it too, and the infirmary has others.
Norolinde: . . . poison? Did this . . . was this while I was out?
Gorlim: *nods* They said she'd be all right.
Norolinde: She felt so hot the other day . . . and Halbarad. ::eyes shining:: Oh, Gorlim, how awful for you. I'll bet you feel it, don't you.
Gorlim: *shrugs* Some. *quietly*
Norolinde: ::stares at him strangely:: You're doing it again. You're keeping it inside. Gorlim, that's not good for you.
Gorlim: *pulls back a bit* I'm fine...
Norolinde: I . . . I'm sorry, I just wanted to help . . . and I've hurt you again. I . . . ::drops her arms and sinks back to the bed, clutching a pillow in her arms as a replacement::
Gorlim: No. I was just scared, that's all. *he scoots next to her and tries to nuzzle his way back into her arms, like a puppy*
Norolinde: ::tonelessly:: I need to be holding something, or else I'm going to go mad forever.
Gorlim: Then hold onto me, Noro. I'm here.
Norolinde: ::turns to face him slowly:: You need sleep. May I hold you while you're sleeping?
Gorlim: *nods* I'm sorry I moved away. I get scared a lot. Please understand that...
Norolinde: . . . I'm sorry it wasn't your baby. You would have loved it, wouldn't you? Even if it came from me?
Gorlim: *nods* I would.
Norolinde: ::sadly:: I gave up the best thing that ever happened to me. ::bites her lips and takes one of his hands in her two:: I'm sorry. I'm glad you've moved on. ::bringing it to her lips, she kisses it softly before rising on her knees to embrace him once more::
Gorlim: Gave up... what did you give up?
Norolinde: ::smiling gently:: A man who would have cared for me, even if he didn't love me. A good father to his children. A friend.
Gorlim: Oh.... I'm sorry I took that from you... I didn't know you'd been married before. You should have told me, I'd have let you go back to Namuras or Gwindor or whoever it was...
Norolinde: ::blinks at him, her eyes soft:: You were the first person who ever made me feel like I deserved things. Like I was a queen.
Gorlim: *slowly dawning on him* ....me?
Norolinde: ::shuts her eyes and nods, dropping her face away from him:: I'm sorry.
Gorlim: For what?
Norolinde: For . . . for breathing, for living, for being born. For causing you pain. For . . . carving out this part of your life and polluting it. For not being what I should have. For not being what I was supposed to be.
Gorlim: *trembles slightly* Don't. Just... DON'T.
Norolinde: ::her eyes open and she looks at him, wide-eyed, her arms loosening to let him go::
Gorlim: And don't let go.
Norolinde: . . . ::returns her arms to their former tightness and breathes in tune with his heartbeat::
Gorlim: *curls up against her and closes his eyes*
Norolinde: ::half-smiling:: You didn't like my singing before, I won't inflict it upon you again . . .
Gorlim: I like it, it just... no, it doesn't hurt, it just does something.
Norolinde: Something bad?
Gorlim: I don't know. I don't think so. It's sort of... something bad that would be good if I let it go...
Norolinde: ::considers this, her words belying her belief in what she's saying:: Maybe I'm some kind of siren.
Gorlim: No. I just hear you sing and remember everything... I remember how much I always wished you'd do that with me when I... when we... um... and I remember how much I always wanted to hear you sing to our children. I'm sorry, I shouldn't say that...
Norolinde: ::looks at him, her eyes shining with tears::
Gorlim: *refuses to meet her eyes*
Norolinde: ::shuts hers and lets the tears flow, still holding him::
Gorlim: *quietly* I just missed you, that's all.
Norolinde: ::tightly:: You used to tell me I could weep the heavens. Am I weeping hell now?
Gorlim: *a little scared* I'm not sure what you mean...
Norolinde: ::nods:: I think I should go. I'm not meant to be here, this isn't my place.
Gorlim: Don't go yet.
Norolinde: . . . will you sleep? If I get bread, will you eat?
Gorlim: I won't eat bread. That's what made Halbarad and Ully sick. But I will sleep. And tomorrow I will hunt, and I will feed you and the children and Halbarad and everybody else.
Norolinde: ::frowns:: Bread? I thought there was something to do with flowers . . . ::looks lost in thought, as if she's grasping at something on the tips of her memory, before giving up:: All right, no bread. I don't think you're well enough to hunt, but you didn't listen to me when we were married. ::smiles slightly:: Are we, still? Perhaps that's something to . . . look into getting . . . erased. So you're free to pursue other interests.
::brightly:: Is this all you've got for blankets? You need more.
Gorlim: *curls up* I have you here. You're warm.
Norolinde: ::her smile trembling:: You don't want me to stay, silly boy.
Gorlim: Yes I do.
Norolinde: What will people think? Your reputation will be ruined.
Gorlim: What reputation?
Norolinde: The one of the noble gentleman, who loves the pure and true . . . and who stays away from me.
Gorlim: Who happens to also be married to you... who convinced most of the kingdom after you left that he raped Firiel... who is presently sleeping with Eomer's cousin.... right, pure and true...
Norolinde: . . . I started you on the downward path, then. They're never quite as nice to the women who have wronged. ::sighs:: In bed, I'll tuck you in.
Gorlim: *obeys her orders*
Norolinde: ::pulls the covers snug up around his shoulders:: There. Are you warm enough?
Gorlim: Yes. Stay?
Norolinde: Where? Is by the window good?
Gorlim: Next to me. You said you needed to hold onto something.
Norolinde: I . . . I've taken too much from you already. I'll hold . . . a stone from the wall or something. Really.
Gorlim: Please, Norolinde. Just do it.
Norolinde: ::sighs:: All right. ::moves to the side of the bed, situating herself on the floor:: Better?
Gorlim: Up here.
Norolinde: . . . ::silently places herself on the bed beside him, above the covers and lying stiffly turned away::
Gorlim: Noro.... hold on to me. Please.
Norolinde: Gorlim . . . ::shuts her eyes and gives in, turning towards him and holding him through the blankets::
Gorlim: I don't want you for anything but you, Norolinde. I'm not going to do anything to you. Despite rumors to the contrary, I never would. Just.... be with me. Pretend I'm your child.
Norolinde: . . . ::climbs under the covers and clings to him tightly:: Then don't go.
Gorlim: I'm only going to sleep, Noro.
Norolinde: You have to promise to come back.
Gorlim: I promise.
Norolinde: I . . . all right. You *promised*. ::loosens her grip a bit so he can move around and breath and rests her head as close to him as she dares::
Gorlim: *closes his eyes and curls up in her arms*
Norolinde: ::holds him until he falls asleep, and far after . . . ::
Gorlim: *sleeps better in her arms than he has slept for quite some time...*
Gorlim: *looks at her, hesitant*
Norolinde: ::pouts:: And I can even walk, too. Are you cold? Ully was cold, but she felt so hot . . .
Gorlim: .......*stares at her, tense*
Norolinde: ::sighs and folds her hands in her lap:: Fair enough. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have expected more of you. Thank you for helping look after me when I was sick. The healers said you visited sometimes.
Gorlim: *softly* Are you better?
Norolinde: ::frowns:: Physically?
Gorlim: Any way.
Norolinde: ::shrugs loosely:: Sometimes I think so. I lost a baby, Gorlim. ::sadly:: The one thing in life I was made to do, and I messed it up.
Gorlim: *watches her, face unreadable, something between sorrow and fear and.... and something else*
Norolinde: I . . . I don't want to be held right now. I want to hold.
Gorlim: Will you hurt?
Norolinde: When I hold . . . I held Ully, for a little while, and it made the hurt less.
Gorlim: You can hold me if you want to...
Norolinde: Do I go to you or do you come to me? What are the rules . . .
Gorlim: There are no rules. I'll be still, if you want me to be.
Norolinde: . . . ::stands and wraps her arms around his neck, tugging him gently down to her height and holding him tight::
Gorlim: *He lets himself be held, and even after a time allows himself to hold her back tentatively. Still afraid from what she's done to him, but he has missed her.... missed her so much. Still tense and unmoving, but very much there...*
Norolinde: ::strokes his hair softly, humming tunelessly to herself the lullabies she never got to sing to her babies::
Gorlim: *wrinkles his nose and blinks, trying not to listen to the music*
Norolinde: ::pulls him just the tiniest bit tighter for a moment before letting him back to his former position:: You . . . if you want to, you can let go.
Gorlim: Do you want me to?
Norolinde: I . . . if you go, I'll find Ully, or Perrin, or . . . or whoever'll let me hold them. I can't be alone.
Gorlim: I'll stay, then.
Norolinde: ::nods slightly:: I . . . thank you. I'm . . . ::shutting her eyes, she renews the hug, pouring her passion and fire for the safety of her children into keeping *him* safe, for the while he's in her arms::
Gorlim: *it's a very new sensation, being held and kept safe by her instead of hurt by her. He lets himself stay there, calm and still, for as long as she lokes, lost in thought*
Norolinde: ::trembles slightly:: You're . . . you're so cold, Gorlim. ::blinks up at him, half-frightened, before breaking the embrace and snagging a blanket to throw over his shoulders:: You're so cold, and you still don't eat, do you, and there are shadows under your eyes . . .
Gorlim: *fidgets meekly* I've been watching over you and Ully and Halbarad, he got poisoned too...
Norolinde: ::frowns:: I don't understand what happened to Ully.
Gorlim: Poison. It got into something. No one knows what yet. Halbarad got it too, and the infirmary has others.
Norolinde: . . . poison? Did this . . . was this while I was out?
Gorlim: *nods* They said she'd be all right.
Norolinde: She felt so hot the other day . . . and Halbarad. ::eyes shining:: Oh, Gorlim, how awful for you. I'll bet you feel it, don't you.
Gorlim: *shrugs* Some. *quietly*
Norolinde: ::stares at him strangely:: You're doing it again. You're keeping it inside. Gorlim, that's not good for you.
Gorlim: *pulls back a bit* I'm fine...
Norolinde: I . . . I'm sorry, I just wanted to help . . . and I've hurt you again. I . . . ::drops her arms and sinks back to the bed, clutching a pillow in her arms as a replacement::
Gorlim: No. I was just scared, that's all. *he scoots next to her and tries to nuzzle his way back into her arms, like a puppy*
Norolinde: ::tonelessly:: I need to be holding something, or else I'm going to go mad forever.
Gorlim: Then hold onto me, Noro. I'm here.
Norolinde: ::turns to face him slowly:: You need sleep. May I hold you while you're sleeping?
Gorlim: *nods* I'm sorry I moved away. I get scared a lot. Please understand that...
Norolinde: . . . I'm sorry it wasn't your baby. You would have loved it, wouldn't you? Even if it came from me?
Gorlim: *nods* I would.
Norolinde: ::sadly:: I gave up the best thing that ever happened to me. ::bites her lips and takes one of his hands in her two:: I'm sorry. I'm glad you've moved on. ::bringing it to her lips, she kisses it softly before rising on her knees to embrace him once more::
Gorlim: Gave up... what did you give up?
Norolinde: ::smiling gently:: A man who would have cared for me, even if he didn't love me. A good father to his children. A friend.
Gorlim: Oh.... I'm sorry I took that from you... I didn't know you'd been married before. You should have told me, I'd have let you go back to Namuras or Gwindor or whoever it was...
Norolinde: ::blinks at him, her eyes soft:: You were the first person who ever made me feel like I deserved things. Like I was a queen.
Gorlim: *slowly dawning on him* ....me?
Norolinde: ::shuts her eyes and nods, dropping her face away from him:: I'm sorry.
Gorlim: For what?
Norolinde: For . . . for breathing, for living, for being born. For causing you pain. For . . . carving out this part of your life and polluting it. For not being what I should have. For not being what I was supposed to be.
Gorlim: *trembles slightly* Don't. Just... DON'T.
Norolinde: ::her eyes open and she looks at him, wide-eyed, her arms loosening to let him go::
Gorlim: And don't let go.
Norolinde: . . . ::returns her arms to their former tightness and breathes in tune with his heartbeat::
Gorlim: *curls up against her and closes his eyes*
Norolinde: ::half-smiling:: You didn't like my singing before, I won't inflict it upon you again . . .
Gorlim: I like it, it just... no, it doesn't hurt, it just does something.
Norolinde: Something bad?
Gorlim: I don't know. I don't think so. It's sort of... something bad that would be good if I let it go...
Norolinde: ::considers this, her words belying her belief in what she's saying:: Maybe I'm some kind of siren.
Gorlim: No. I just hear you sing and remember everything... I remember how much I always wished you'd do that with me when I... when we... um... and I remember how much I always wanted to hear you sing to our children. I'm sorry, I shouldn't say that...
Norolinde: ::looks at him, her eyes shining with tears::
Gorlim: *refuses to meet her eyes*
Norolinde: ::shuts hers and lets the tears flow, still holding him::
Gorlim: *quietly* I just missed you, that's all.
Norolinde: ::tightly:: You used to tell me I could weep the heavens. Am I weeping hell now?
Gorlim: *a little scared* I'm not sure what you mean...
Norolinde: ::nods:: I think I should go. I'm not meant to be here, this isn't my place.
Gorlim: Don't go yet.
Norolinde: . . . will you sleep? If I get bread, will you eat?
Gorlim: I won't eat bread. That's what made Halbarad and Ully sick. But I will sleep. And tomorrow I will hunt, and I will feed you and the children and Halbarad and everybody else.
Norolinde: ::frowns:: Bread? I thought there was something to do with flowers . . . ::looks lost in thought, as if she's grasping at something on the tips of her memory, before giving up:: All right, no bread. I don't think you're well enough to hunt, but you didn't listen to me when we were married. ::smiles slightly:: Are we, still? Perhaps that's something to . . . look into getting . . . erased. So you're free to pursue other interests.
::brightly:: Is this all you've got for blankets? You need more.
Gorlim: *curls up* I have you here. You're warm.
Norolinde: ::her smile trembling:: You don't want me to stay, silly boy.
Gorlim: Yes I do.
Norolinde: What will people think? Your reputation will be ruined.
Gorlim: What reputation?
Norolinde: The one of the noble gentleman, who loves the pure and true . . . and who stays away from me.
Gorlim: Who happens to also be married to you... who convinced most of the kingdom after you left that he raped Firiel... who is presently sleeping with Eomer's cousin.... right, pure and true...
Norolinde: . . . I started you on the downward path, then. They're never quite as nice to the women who have wronged. ::sighs:: In bed, I'll tuck you in.
Gorlim: *obeys her orders*
Norolinde: ::pulls the covers snug up around his shoulders:: There. Are you warm enough?
Gorlim: Yes. Stay?
Norolinde: Where? Is by the window good?
Gorlim: Next to me. You said you needed to hold onto something.
Norolinde: I . . . I've taken too much from you already. I'll hold . . . a stone from the wall or something. Really.
Gorlim: Please, Norolinde. Just do it.
Norolinde: ::sighs:: All right. ::moves to the side of the bed, situating herself on the floor:: Better?
Gorlim: Up here.
Norolinde: . . . ::silently places herself on the bed beside him, above the covers and lying stiffly turned away::
Gorlim: Noro.... hold on to me. Please.
Norolinde: Gorlim . . . ::shuts her eyes and gives in, turning towards him and holding him through the blankets::
Gorlim: I don't want you for anything but you, Norolinde. I'm not going to do anything to you. Despite rumors to the contrary, I never would. Just.... be with me. Pretend I'm your child.
Norolinde: . . . ::climbs under the covers and clings to him tightly:: Then don't go.
Gorlim: I'm only going to sleep, Noro.
Norolinde: You have to promise to come back.
Gorlim: I promise.
Norolinde: I . . . all right. You *promised*. ::loosens her grip a bit so he can move around and breath and rests her head as close to him as she dares::
Gorlim: *closes his eyes and curls up in her arms*
Norolinde: ::holds him until he falls asleep, and far after . . . ::
Gorlim: *sleeps better in her arms than he has slept for quite some time...*