Wicked Game (AWE AU): Chapter 2
Title: Wicked Game
Rating: PG
Pairing: Elizabeth/James
Word Count: 1,472
Summary: An AU take on At World's End. Basically my version of "what should have happened". Alternates between James' and Elizabeth's points of view.
Elizabeth:
I have locked myself in my cabin and gave strict orders that I am not to be disturbed. I need to be alone to think about this. I flop down onto the bed and bury my face in the pillow, letting the tears flow freely, creating a large damp spot on the fabric.
Elizabeth Swann, you completely dense girl. You arrogant, ignorant, foolish girl! How could I have been so blind? I did have some knowledge that James truly cared for me, but never that he actually loved me. All those years, all this time that I’ve known him, I’ve completely taken him for granted. Now I’ve done it; now I’ve gone and gotten myself into a rut. This is probably the worst thing he could have said at this moment, now, when I’m feeling so guilty for how I’ve treated him. The man saved my life and I haven’t even thanked him properly. I’ve used him and hurt him in more ways than one, and that is something that he may never forgive me for; to be honest, I may never even forgive myself. Add on to the pile that he loves me and now I feel even worse, because deep down in the pit of my stomach where all my guilt lies - a place I thought could go no lower -has just dropped down to the floor.
I feel like a monster. I feel like a cheat.
I’ve promised myself to Will, and here I am, throwing myself at James. It’s not fair to either of them, really. On one hand, I am engaged to a man I thought I was madly in love with, but I am unexpectedly unhappy. On the other hand, I have James, a man who loves me, who is willing to die for me, and now I just don’t know what to do.
A year ago I fancied myself in love with a blacksmith, and now I can barely be in the same room with the man without getting into a spit. Things have not been easy with Will as of late, this I know. Ever since the incident with Jack, nothing has been going well at all between us. Frankly, he doesn’t trust me, and I’m not so sure I trust him either. He has been lying and keeping secrets from me - fair enough, seeing as I haven’t exactly been a saint myself - but who wants to build a marriage based off of secrets and lies? I certainly do not.
If anything, I need a break from him, and luckily he isn’t here to see all this commotion - that’s the last thing either of us needs. I can’t believe I’m saying it, but I don’t know if I love him anymore. In fact, I don’t even know if I ever loved him. Perhaps it was only an infatuation. Perhaps my infatuation with Will is disappearing just as my infatuation with piracy and all of its misconceptions are, just as James tried to warn me when I was a young and precocious girl.
And James - Oh, James. I would be lying to myself if I said I felt nothing for him, I know that deep down I always have. It’s almost funny really, how the tables have since turned. When I was a girl I fancied him, yet he saw me as a sister. When he became more of the stoic Captain and less of my heroic and adventurous Lieutenant, I spent more time with Will - who in turn became more of the dashing hero to whisk me away into freedom and less of my simple childhood friend. How utterly curious and cruel life can be.
Truth be told, more feelings have certainly aroused since I saw him in Tortuga, sinking into the muck. When I saw him lying there, my heart broke for him. I had done it to him, I knew that, and I would have given anything to make him feel an ounce of what he used to be. I convinced him to come with us on the Pearl, but things were far from all right, and he was bitter. I never expected him to react so harshly to my rejection, I had no idea just how hard he took it since he left Port Royal the minute he could without a single word. He jabbed at me with venom, and I deserved it, but I was so stubborn that I bit back at him just as hard. Then he sacrificed himself to save us, and he looked at me with his emerald eyes that held such sadness - and I had even wondered then, if there was something there, but I dismissed it when I discovered that he took the heart. I thought I was angry at his betrayal, but as time went by I realized I was angrier with him for leaving me. Don’t wait for me.
For months I had been a nervous wreck, thinking of all the things that could have happened to him since I saw him last on Isle Cruces. I had no idea if he still had the heart, if he was even alive. Jack was gone and I couldn’t bear to think that I might have lost James too, that I had another man’s blood on my hands. The guilt built up in me and started to tear Will and I apart. And when I finally saw him again, I was so angry - how dare he stand under the command of Beckett, how dare he aid in my father’s demise - a man who saw him as a son and praised him so - how dare he. All of my previous concerns flew out of reach and I deemed him as selfish and cruel and uncaring.
I was so wrong. I was so blinded by my anger that I couldn’t see how broken he had become; how desperate he was to grasp at any chance to regain some semblance of honor. It was because of me, it was all because of me. And there he was - the ever gallant James - ready to save me once more, the woman who single handedly ruined his life, even as I growled and bared my teeth.
I don’t deserve him. The one thing I did not lie about was when I told him he was a fine man. I truly meant it. He is the kind of man any woman would dream of marrying, and I had the opportunity to do so and threw it away. Fool! Now look at me - I have someone telling me they love me, after all we’ve been through, and for once I actually love him back, but I am engaged to the wrong man. What a mess I’ve gotten myself into.
When he kissed me on the Flying Dutchman, something changed. I could feel the desperation in his kiss, as if he was trying to make me understand how he felt. I was too shocked to listen, but I could not deny that the feeling of his lips on mine was something so inviting and warm that I simply couldn’t resist him. When he shot the line, I thought I would never see him again, and my heart shattered into a million pieces. And then he just showed up on the deck, as if nothing were wrong and that it was just a coincidental meeting between friends, a stupid grin on his face and all he could say to me was, “Hello”. Hello? He could have died and all he says to me is hello? I could have killed him there myself for being such an idiot, but my heart was telling me otherwise, and before I knew it I was kissing him. I was upset, I was angry, I was desperate - and I knew that all I wanted in that moment was him.
Then the anger took control and I was scolding him, until he pulled me against him and claimed my lips. Everything had dissipated and I melted beneath his touch. When he broke the kiss I was still clinging to the remnants of him, his arms still wrapped around me and the taste of him lingering on my lips.
He told me he loved me, and I froze. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to say, and all I could do was feel so guilty for everything. My entire world came to a crashing halt and my ignorance was ripped out from underneath me.
It was painful to leave him there, with no explanation, no hint of…well, anything. I may not have any inclination as to what I should do, but one thing is for certain: I have fallen for James Norrington, and there is nothing I can do about it.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Elizabeth/James
Word Count: 1,472
Summary: An AU take on At World's End. Basically my version of "what should have happened". Alternates between James' and Elizabeth's points of view.
Elizabeth:
I have locked myself in my cabin and gave strict orders that I am not to be disturbed. I need to be alone to think about this. I flop down onto the bed and bury my face in the pillow, letting the tears flow freely, creating a large damp spot on the fabric.
Elizabeth Swann, you completely dense girl. You arrogant, ignorant, foolish girl! How could I have been so blind? I did have some knowledge that James truly cared for me, but never that he actually loved me. All those years, all this time that I’ve known him, I’ve completely taken him for granted. Now I’ve done it; now I’ve gone and gotten myself into a rut. This is probably the worst thing he could have said at this moment, now, when I’m feeling so guilty for how I’ve treated him. The man saved my life and I haven’t even thanked him properly. I’ve used him and hurt him in more ways than one, and that is something that he may never forgive me for; to be honest, I may never even forgive myself. Add on to the pile that he loves me and now I feel even worse, because deep down in the pit of my stomach where all my guilt lies - a place I thought could go no lower -has just dropped down to the floor.
I feel like a monster. I feel like a cheat.
I’ve promised myself to Will, and here I am, throwing myself at James. It’s not fair to either of them, really. On one hand, I am engaged to a man I thought I was madly in love with, but I am unexpectedly unhappy. On the other hand, I have James, a man who loves me, who is willing to die for me, and now I just don’t know what to do.
A year ago I fancied myself in love with a blacksmith, and now I can barely be in the same room with the man without getting into a spit. Things have not been easy with Will as of late, this I know. Ever since the incident with Jack, nothing has been going well at all between us. Frankly, he doesn’t trust me, and I’m not so sure I trust him either. He has been lying and keeping secrets from me - fair enough, seeing as I haven’t exactly been a saint myself - but who wants to build a marriage based off of secrets and lies? I certainly do not.
If anything, I need a break from him, and luckily he isn’t here to see all this commotion - that’s the last thing either of us needs. I can’t believe I’m saying it, but I don’t know if I love him anymore. In fact, I don’t even know if I ever loved him. Perhaps it was only an infatuation. Perhaps my infatuation with Will is disappearing just as my infatuation with piracy and all of its misconceptions are, just as James tried to warn me when I was a young and precocious girl.
And James - Oh, James. I would be lying to myself if I said I felt nothing for him, I know that deep down I always have. It’s almost funny really, how the tables have since turned. When I was a girl I fancied him, yet he saw me as a sister. When he became more of the stoic Captain and less of my heroic and adventurous Lieutenant, I spent more time with Will - who in turn became more of the dashing hero to whisk me away into freedom and less of my simple childhood friend. How utterly curious and cruel life can be.
Truth be told, more feelings have certainly aroused since I saw him in Tortuga, sinking into the muck. When I saw him lying there, my heart broke for him. I had done it to him, I knew that, and I would have given anything to make him feel an ounce of what he used to be. I convinced him to come with us on the Pearl, but things were far from all right, and he was bitter. I never expected him to react so harshly to my rejection, I had no idea just how hard he took it since he left Port Royal the minute he could without a single word. He jabbed at me with venom, and I deserved it, but I was so stubborn that I bit back at him just as hard. Then he sacrificed himself to save us, and he looked at me with his emerald eyes that held such sadness - and I had even wondered then, if there was something there, but I dismissed it when I discovered that he took the heart. I thought I was angry at his betrayal, but as time went by I realized I was angrier with him for leaving me. Don’t wait for me.
For months I had been a nervous wreck, thinking of all the things that could have happened to him since I saw him last on Isle Cruces. I had no idea if he still had the heart, if he was even alive. Jack was gone and I couldn’t bear to think that I might have lost James too, that I had another man’s blood on my hands. The guilt built up in me and started to tear Will and I apart. And when I finally saw him again, I was so angry - how dare he stand under the command of Beckett, how dare he aid in my father’s demise - a man who saw him as a son and praised him so - how dare he. All of my previous concerns flew out of reach and I deemed him as selfish and cruel and uncaring.
I was so wrong. I was so blinded by my anger that I couldn’t see how broken he had become; how desperate he was to grasp at any chance to regain some semblance of honor. It was because of me, it was all because of me. And there he was - the ever gallant James - ready to save me once more, the woman who single handedly ruined his life, even as I growled and bared my teeth.
I don’t deserve him. The one thing I did not lie about was when I told him he was a fine man. I truly meant it. He is the kind of man any woman would dream of marrying, and I had the opportunity to do so and threw it away. Fool! Now look at me - I have someone telling me they love me, after all we’ve been through, and for once I actually love him back, but I am engaged to the wrong man. What a mess I’ve gotten myself into.
When he kissed me on the Flying Dutchman, something changed. I could feel the desperation in his kiss, as if he was trying to make me understand how he felt. I was too shocked to listen, but I could not deny that the feeling of his lips on mine was something so inviting and warm that I simply couldn’t resist him. When he shot the line, I thought I would never see him again, and my heart shattered into a million pieces. And then he just showed up on the deck, as if nothing were wrong and that it was just a coincidental meeting between friends, a stupid grin on his face and all he could say to me was, “Hello”. Hello? He could have died and all he says to me is hello? I could have killed him there myself for being such an idiot, but my heart was telling me otherwise, and before I knew it I was kissing him. I was upset, I was angry, I was desperate - and I knew that all I wanted in that moment was him.
Then the anger took control and I was scolding him, until he pulled me against him and claimed my lips. Everything had dissipated and I melted beneath his touch. When he broke the kiss I was still clinging to the remnants of him, his arms still wrapped around me and the taste of him lingering on my lips.
He told me he loved me, and I froze. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to say, and all I could do was feel so guilty for everything. My entire world came to a crashing halt and my ignorance was ripped out from underneath me.
It was painful to leave him there, with no explanation, no hint of…well, anything. I may not have any inclination as to what I should do, but one thing is for certain: I have fallen for James Norrington, and there is nothing I can do about it.